Even If The Skies Get Rough
by myeveryday
Summary: It's been five years since they graduated. Five long years since Rachel and Finn have seen each other. Through all the changes, wars, and heartbreaks, one thing still hasn't changed: their tether. And it's never going to go away. People that are meant to be together always find each other in the end.
1. save me, i'm lost

**Author's Note: So this is pretty much my way of coping with whatever is going to happen in season four. I really don't know much about the army or their ranks, so I took some creative license. If I'm saying something glaringly wrong, please correct me. I hope that you all enjoy this!**

**Disclaimer: I don't anything associated with **_**Glee**_**. The story title is taken from Jason Mraz's "I Won't Give Up." The chapter's title is from "Show Me What I'm Looking For" by Carolina Liar.**

* * *

**June 17, 2017**

**1500 Hrs**

**Kandahar, Afghanistan**

It hurt. Everything hurt.

Staff Sergeant Finn Hudson stared up at the sky, only vaguely aware of the sounds of gunfire going off around him. He tried to push himself up, but _fuck_, his left wrist killed.

"Hold on, Huddy!" A hand pressed on his chest, keeping him still. Finn recognized the voice of Corporal Nathan James. He saw Sergeant Jack Carter laying cover for them before his vision began to tunnel over. He welcomed the darkness that seemed to come; it was hurting too much.

Then Nathan began to move Finn. Everything came back into sharp relief, the pain pulsing through him in time with his erratic heartbeat, and Finn groaned. It felt like he was on fire. Nathan stopped and appeared in Finn's line of vision.

"You're going to be okay, Huddy," Nathan said. "The chopper is here. We just have to get you on it. Stay with me, man."

Finn struggled to keep his eyes open. Now that the after effects of the blast had worn off, the pain was quickly eclipsing any and all other feelings. But he suddenly remembered why he was in so much pain to begin with.

"Davis," Finn gasped, attempting to lift his head and look around. His left side pulled painfully and it hurt to breath, but he kept talking anyway. "Is Davis okay?"

Nathan smiled at him and patted his uninjured side. "Jack is with him. He's a little beat up, but he'll be okay. You have his life, Huddy."

Good. That's all that mattered. Finn let his head fall back to the ground as two medics with a stretcher arrived. Sergeant Lucas Davis had a wife and two little boys at home. Finn knew what it was like to grow up without a father. He couldn't let that happen to Davis's kids.

"Just hold on, Huddy," Nathan repeated. "You're going to be okay."

* * *

**June 19, 2017**

**5:00 PM**

**New York City, New York**

"There. Perfect."

Kurt Hummel and Rachel Berry stared critically at the mantel. Centered right in the middle of it, in the spot of honor, was their pride and joy: Rachel Berry's first Tony award.

"Seriously," Kurt said. "That placement couldn't be any better if I had tried. I should add interior designer to my list of many accomplishments."

Rachel smiled and nodded her head in agreement as the door to the apartment swung open. Santana Lopez sashayed in, dropping her purse on one of the chairs.

"How was your shift, Santana?" Kurt asked with a smile as the Latina in question disappeared into the kitchen.

No one had really expected Santana to become a nurse—at a children's hospital, no less. She had come to New York City with the hope of making it big. Shortly after graduation from McKinley, while in Central Park with Rachel (the two of them had quickly found each other and were already looking for an apartment at that point), they had witnessed a little boy falling out of a tree that he had been trying to climb. The result was a very nasty compound fracture. Due the lifeguard job Santana had had over her summers in high school, she had some first aid training. She had expertly applied what knowledge she had as they waited for the ambulance to arrive. She had even managed to keep the little boy calm, despite the fact that his tibia was sticking out of his leg. Santana was hooked from then on and had applied and been accepted to a nursing school for the spring semester.

Santana reemerged from the kitchen with a wine bottle in hand. She took a swing straight from the bottle before speaking. "I hate people," she announced. "I swear to God, some of those parents…" She started mumbling darkly in Spanish under her breath.

"Santana, glass," Rachel said when Santana drank from the bottle once again.

Santana rolled her eyes. "Calm you tits, Berry. Now you have one less glass to clean." She peered closely at her roommate. "How are you feeling today?"

Now it was Rachel's turn to roll her eyes. Two days ago, Rachel had felt like complete and utter crap. She didn't have a fever, and she didn't throw up or anything like that. She just felt as if she couldn't get out of bed. Santana had played mother hen all day, and had refused to let her move until she knew exactly what was wrong. It must have been one of those twenty-four hour bugs, because she had been fine the next day.

"I feel fine, Santana. Now would you two come over here? I have something that I want to tell you."

"Oh God." Santana sat on the arm of the sofa and shared a wide-eyed look with Kurt. "You're not pregnant, are you?"

Rachel's cheeks flamed bright red. "Santana! No!" Her roommate knew very well that she hadn't done anything in… well, in a while.

"You never know. Someone might have cracked that chastity belt." Kurt snickered into his hand at Santana's comment, and Rachel glared at both of them. Really? These were the people that were supposed to be her best friends?

"If you're done making fun of me, I'd like to tell you what news I have." Kurt and Santana just nodded their heads, and Rachel took a deep breath. "I've decided to take a break."

They both stared at her. Finally, Santana said, "Wait, what?"

"What in Gaga's name are you talking about?" Kurt exploded.

Rachel was nonplussed by the screeching quality his voice had taken on. "The show that I have my eye on won't start preparations for another six months at least. That gives me plenty of time to take a little break."

"How do you know that you'll even be getting a part in the show?" Santana wasn't asking the question to be malicious. She just wanted to make sure that Rachel had everything in order before up and leaving.

"They called me," Rachel said simply. She had been quite surprised when she had received the call. But the director from the show she had just finished, _Wicked_, had referred her to the revival of _Rent_. According to her director, they had jumped at the chance to have her on the show.

Kurt was looking as if he was trying not to explode from excitement. "But… you just won a Tony for featured actress!"

"I know." Rachel couldn't help the smile that spread across her lips at that statement. She was only twenty-three, and she had achieved one of her biggest dreams. It had been amazing, hearing her name called that night. "Which is exactly why I'm leaving them wanting more. Until _Rent_ starts up, that is."

Kurt could no longer contain himself. He jumped up and hugged Rachel tightly. "Excellent! I wouldn't expect anything less from Broadway's newest diva."

"So where exactly are we taking this little break?" Santana asked as she inspected her nails. Rachel laughed good-naturedly at how Santana automatically assumed that she going with her. "Please tell me that we're going to Hawaii. I have a lot of vacation time saved up and they just hired two new nurses. I plan on cashing that time in."

"Sorry, Tana. We're not going to Hawaii. I was actually thinking about heading back to Lima."

"_Really?_" Santana raised an eyebrow. "Berry, we haven't been back there since winter break your senior year."

"I know. It won't hurt to go back, will it?" Rachel said. She crossed her arms defensively, prepared to argue for her choice of vacation spot.

"Of course not," Kurt said in a placating manner. "I just never thought I'd see the day when Rachel Berry wanted to go back to Lima."

Rachel lifted a shoulder. "I haven't seen my dads in a while. They're too busy to come up to visit, so I thought I would go down for a little bit. And I think it will be nice to get away from everything for a while, since I just won the Tony…"

"Oh, I see what this is." Kurt smirked at her. "You want to go back to brag!"

"What? No. That's not it!"

"Yeah right," Santana said. She was smirking, too. "I'm calling bullshit on that one, Berry. But I'm down. Let's go show those backwards hicks what real talent can do. In fact, I'll call Britts and Quinn. We can make a whole trip out of it!"

"What do you say, Kurt?" Rachel asked. "Want to head back to Lima with us for a little while?"

"I don't see why not." Kurt grinned and hugged Rachel again. "I can't wait to tell everyone that you were wearing a Kurt Hummel original at the Tony's!"

Kurt had recently had his original line picked up by Bergdorf's, and he was practically beside himself with excitement. Music was still a big part of his life, but he had found his home in fashion design. And he was an absolutely brilliant designer.

"I'll call Blaine, too," he added. "Now that the school year is over, I might be able to convince him to take a breather."

Blaine shared an apartment with Kurt not far from Santana, Brittany, and Rachel's. Blaine going to be starting his first year at Columbia Law come the fall. He had just graduated from NYU, so Rachel was sure that he would want to join in on their vacation as well.

Just as Kurt hung up with his boyfriend, Santana came back into the room, waving several pieces of paper in the air. "I just ordered tickets for Friday. We are a go for Trip Lima!"

* * *

**June 20, 2017**

**0130 Hrs**

**Kandahar, Afghanistan**

"Nice to see you awake, Sergeant Hudson."

Finn blinked slowly. He did it several more times as the room he was in came into focus. He slowly took stock of his surroundings and how he felt. Everything had sort of a dull fuzziness to it. He raised his hands to rub at his eyes, but found that his left hand, from his knuckles down to mid-forearm was encased in a white cast.

"What…" He cleared his throat and swallowed, trying to get rid of the cotton feeling in his mouth. "What happened?"

The doctor looked down kindly at him. "You were caught in a blast from a roadside bomb," he explained.

"Huddy, you did good," Nathan added as he came up on the other side of the bed. Jack was behind him, and in the bed next to him, Finn saw Davis. They both nodded their heads in agreement with Nathan's statement.

Jack patted Finn's uninjured hand. "They're going to send you home, man."

Finn could only stare at his teammate. Finally, he said, "…Why?"

The two soldiers looked at the doctor. He nodded his head and said, "Sergeant Hudson, you sustained some pretty severe injuries in the blast. You have several cracked ribs, a concussion, and extensive burns on your left shoulder and arm. And your left wrist was nearly shattered. It will take time to heal, along with extensive physical therapy to get back a range of motion close to the one you had before."

Finn blinked at the doctor. "So what you're saying is… I'm done. Forever."

The doctor nodded his head. "I'm sorry, Sergeant Hudson. But you did an amazing thing."

Finn turned away from the doctor and looked at Nathan and Jack. "When are they sending me home?"

"In two days."

* * *

**Author's Note: Well, I hope that you all enjoyed this chapter. Thanks for reading!**


	2. where they all stare at me

**Author's Note: Thanks for the reviews! I was completely floored by how many people alerted and favorited this story. I'd really like to hear what you all think! If you put this story on your favorites or alerts list, let me know why you liked it enough to do that! Thanks!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. This chapter's title is from "War Sweater" by Wakey!Wakey!.  
**

* * *

Finn winced, but he forced himself to stand up anyway. He refused to sit in that wheelchair for a prolonged period of time, no matter what the doctor said. It was only the upper half of his body that was busted up, not his legs.

He spotted Burt immediately as he made his way off the plane. Before either of them could acknowledge each other, Carole flew forward and gingerly wrapped her arms around his right side. Finn let his arm drop around his mother, feeling some type of relief flood through his chest.

"Mom," he said gently.

Carole pressed her face into Finn's BDUs as she began to cry, even though she had promised herself that she wouldn't. How could she not, though? This was the first time her little boy was home in five years. Five long years, with nothing but Skype chats and short visits when he was stateside.

"Oh, my baby boy," she said, hugging him carefully.

Finn looked down at his mother's head and choked back the surge of emotion that suddenly hit him. There was just something about being with his mother that made him feel like it was okay to break down a little bit. He looked up at Burt, who put his hand on his uninjured shoulder.

"Hey, Mom," he said, rubbing her back. "It's okay."

Carole sniffled and nodded her head. They quietly made their way from the airport, arms wrapped around each other.

* * *

"There's our little star!"

Rachel giggled as she was hugged by her fathers on both sides. Hiram and Leroy Berry were both talking a mile a minute about the Tony's and how proud they were of her and how fantastic she looked and did she bring the award for them to see?

"Wait until you hear about her new part," Kurt said. He could barely contain his glee over the fact that she hadn't even had to go and audition for this part. _They_ had called _her_.

Hiram's eyes practically bugged out of his head. "What new part? Star, you got a new part already?"

Rachel gave Kurt a scolding look, but she couldn't keep the smile off of her face. It was one of her dream rolls, after all. "Yes, Dad. I got a new part. We don't start rehearsals for another six months at least."

"Well aren't you going to tell me what part it's for?" Hiram demanded.

Rachel grinned and paused for a long moment, building the anticipation. "Maureen in _Rent_."

"Oh! My baby girl is all grown up!" Hiram seriously looked as if he was two seconds away from crying. It was definitely an adult roll, and easily one of the most recognized on Broadway. Hiram hugged her tightly as they walked from the airport. Santana, Brittany, Quinn, Kurt, and Blaine lagged behind them, already arguing over who was going to sit wear in the car.

"Obviously, Kurt gets bitch seat," Santana proclaimed. "He has the smallest ass."

"Rachel has a pretty tiny butt, too," Brittany said conversationally. "Maybe she and Kurt could share a seat."

Leroy laughed. "Don't worry. Hiram and I both drove separate cars so you kids could all drive back together."

Rachel kissed both of her fathers on the cheek. "Thank you Dads!" They piled their bags in the car that Hiram and Leroy were getting into before piling into the truck. There was a brief scuffle for the window seat between Santana and Kurt. Kurt put up a valiant fight, but Santana won out in the end. She poked him with something hidden somewhere—Kurt really didn't want to know either way. So he found himself crammed between Santana and Brittany in the back row, unable to get to the seat next to Blaine in the middle row because they wouldn't let him.

"Do you think we should rescue him?" Quinn asked.

Blaine settled back comfortably in his seat. "Nah. Let him suffer a little bit. Serves him right for not letting me sleep on the flight here."

"I heard that, Blaine Anderson!"

* * *

It had been two days since he had returned home to Lima. Finn walked down into his basement bedroom and immediately felt as if he had stepped into a time capsule. Nothing had changed. Not a single thing had moved from the spot he had left it in after graduation.

The only thing was that his mom had made up his bed with fresh seats. Finn sank down onto the mattress, noting that it was so much more comfortable than the cots he had slept on for months. He surveyed the room, taking in all of his old posters and the pictures that he tried not to look too closely at.

Getting up, Finn began to put all of the pictures on his desk face down. He purposefully didn't look at them as he made his way around the room. He took pictures off the wall, off his mirror, and placed pictures frames so that he couldn't see them anymore. Finally, he stopped in front of his drum set.

Finn stared down at it. Playing drums had been his outlet for everything in his life. After finding out that Quinn was pregnant, he had locked himself in his room and had banged away on the drums for hours. He had done the same when he found out that the baby was actually Puck's, only at the school. He played after every fight or breakup with Rachel. The night before graduation—before he had sent her to New York—he had a marathon drum practice that lasted until nearly two o'clock in the morning. He was lucky that his mom and Burt had decided to sound proof the basement.

Now he couldn't even do that anymore. With the way his wrist was busted up, he didn't even know if he could ever play again. The doctor had said that it would take months of extensive physical therapy. He barely even had a good range of motion, at this point.

Red-hot fury surged through Finn at that moment. Without a word, he brought his hard cast down on the cymbals. They clattered noisily as Finn kicked them over. He put his casted fist through his snare drum before he threw it against the wall. His foot went through the bass drum several times before he kicked that towards the wall, as well.

Just then, Carole and Burt came rushing down the stairs. They took in the destroyed drum set, and then Finn's red face and heaving chest. There was a long moment of silence as none of them knew what to do or what to say.

"Finn," Carole began carefully. "What's… what's wrong?"

Finn's good fist clenched tightly, his knuckles turning white. The pain was beginning to spread through his left wrist, and his burns had been irritated with the excessive movement he had been doing while throwing the drums. He actually welcomed the pain as he kicked one of the drums again, denting the frame.

"Nothing," he snapped harshly. "I'm fine."

Carole winced and Finn looked away from her, down at the floor. Shame washed over him, but it wasn't enough to override the anger. Burt, on the other hand, walked right up to him without hesitation. When Finn didn't make any attempts to move, Burt grabbed his left arm and inspected the cast. Finn continued to stare at the floor while Carole watched with wide, worried eyes.

"You cracked the cast," Burt said gently. He patted Finn on the back. "Let's take you to the hospital to get it fixed up, okay?"

Finn didn't say anything, but he didn't resist as Burt took him back up the stairs. Carole watched them go before she climbed the stairs and found her purse. She dug around in it before she pulled out her cell phone. She hit number two on her speed dial and waited patiently for the pick up.

* * *

In the middle of laughing at a story that Quinn was telling, Kurt's phone rang. He excused himself form where they had gathered in the kitchen and went out into the backyard. He smiled when he saw that the call was from Carole.

"Hello!" he greeted happily. "How are you, Carole? You won't believe what I have to tell you—"

"Kurt."

The heavy tone of Carole's voice made Kurt freeze. Every single worst-case scenario ran through his mind. "It's not my dad, is it?" he asked immediately.

"No, sweetie. It's not," Carole said softly.

Kurt practically stopped breathing as his mind began to race even faster. "Oh God. It's Finn."

"It's Finn," Carole confirmed. She sounded as if she was on the verge of tears, but she choked them back and took a deep breath. "He's home."

Kurt blinked. "What? He's back in Lima?"

"Yes. It was bad, Kurt." Heading off any more panicked exclamations, Carole quickly added, "It's nothing that he can't recover from. But it's going to take a little bit."

Kurt leaned back against the wall of the Berry house. He twisted the ends of his fashionable scarf between his fingers. "How is he?"

"We picked him up at the airport two days ago," Carole explained. "He was pretty quiet for a little while, but… I don't think he's doing well, Kurt. I think you should come home for a little bit, just to see him."

Of course, if Kurt hadn't already been in Lima, he would have been there in a heartbeat. "That's the thing, Carole," Kurt said with a weak chuckle. "I'm already back in Lima."

Carole sounded absolutely floored. "Are you really?"

"Yes. We were going to make it a surprise. Rachel wanted to come back home for a little bit, so we all decided to make it into a trip. Santana, Brittany, Blaine, and Quinn are here, too."

There was only one part of that explanation that Carole seemed to actually register. "Rachel is here?"

And then Kurt suddenly realized what the implications of Rachel and Finn being back in their hometown together actually meant. Rachel was going to be here for a few months, at least. Finn's plans were obviously unknown at the current time. All that really mattered for him right now was his recovery. Logically, they were bound to run into each other at some point. In an uncharacteristic move, Kurt began to curse liberally. Carole let him without scolding.

When he finally calmed down, Kurt asked, "Carole, what are we going to do?"

"I don't know, Kurt," Carole said. She sounded like she was trying not to cry again, her breath coming out in shaky little gasps. "Finn and Burt are at the hospital right now—"

"_What?_ Why?"

"Your father took him to get his cast fixed—"

"Cast? What cast?"

"The cast on his wrist—"

"He broke his wrist?"

"Yes, Kurt," Carole said in her most motherly tone. Kurt immediately shut his mouth when he realized that he had been getting ready to interrupt her once again. Carole gave a light, watery chuckle that was barely there before she spoke again. "His left wrist was almost shattered in the blast. They had to do surgery in order to repair it. And that wasn't the only injury he sustained."

"The blast?" Kurt swallowed hard and felt tears burning in his eyes.

"It was a roadside bomb," Carole said.

"Oh my God." Kurt pressed a hand to his mouth and tried to get a grip on himself. After all, there were still people inside the house, and they were sure to come outside to find him if he didn't return in a few minutes. Making an executive decision, Kurt took a deep breath and straightened up. "I'll be at the house in fifteen minutes, Carole."

They said their goodbyes and hung up. Kurt took another few minutes to make sure that it didn't look like he was about to have a complete breakdown before he walked back into the Berry household.

"There you are, Lady Hummel!" Santana exclaimed. "We were just about to start mixing drinks. Tell Papa Berry what you want."

Kurt held up his hand and shook his head. "No thanks. I actually just got a call from my dad. He wants me to stop by the shop before they close down. We're going to do dinner. So I'll just see you guys tomorrow morning."

It was nice to know that he still had his acting chops. Either that, or Santana, Rachel, Brittany, and Quinn were just in too good a mood to notice if his voice had faltered at all. Blaine, on the other hand… he definitely had. He looked at his boyfriend with questioning eyes and Kurt stared back at him. In the end, it didn't take him long to decide that he couldn't do this without Blaine.

"And he wants to see Blaine, of course," Kurt added. "So we're just going to go."

They kissed the girls on their cheeks and left the house hand-in-hand. The Berrys let them borrow one of their cars, and Kurt managed to hold himself together until they got in. Once the doors were closed, he threw his arms around Blaine as tears started to trickle from his eyes.

Blaine smoothed a hand over Kurt's hair and made gentle shushing noises. He was anxious to find out what was wrong, but he didn't want to push him. Finally, Kurt pulled back a little bit and wiped at his eyes.

"It's Finn," Kurt said. He sniffled and sat up straight. He had to be strong for Finn. It wouldn't do anyone any good if he broke down in front of his brother. "He was wounded in action, and he was shipped home on Wednesday.

Even though his mind was racing, Blaine started the car up and pulled out of the driveway without another word. They made it to the Hudson/Hummel house in five minutes, and Kurt was out of the car before Blaine had even turned it off. But Kurt waited for Blaine and took his hand, holding it tightly as they entered the house.

Carole had seen them pull up and immediately engulfed both men in a hug. Burt was next, and Kurt had to take several deep breaths to keep his emotions in check. Burt looked meaningfully towards the living room. Blaine squeezed Kurt's hand and kissed his cheek before letting go.

Kurt carefully made his way into the living room. Finn was sitting on one end of the couch, blankly staring at a football game on ESPN. Kurt had to bite back a gasp at just how… _horrible_ Finn really looked.

Never mind the cast encasing his left wrist. Finn's left side bulged out a little bit under his t-shirt, where the stiff bandages were. They had to protect both his burns and his ribs. There was ample bruising on the left side of Finn's face as well, and he had a cut running along his hairline. His skin was pale and his eyes had dark smudges under them. Not only that, but his normally optimistic eyes were now blank.

Kurt walked towards Finn and sat next to him on the couch. The movement made Finn finally look down at him. Surprise flashed across his features, but his face remained otherwise impassive. He didn't say anything as he stared down at his brother.

Kurt didn't say anything, either. He just leaned his head on Finn's shoulder and turned to watch the television with him.

* * *

**Author's Note: Ack, so much angst! Don't worry, Finn and Rachel will be meeting again soon. Thanks for reading, and let me know what you all think!**


	3. made it hurt till you couldn't see

**Author's Note: Thanks for the great reviews! The chapter title is from "Even Angles Fall" by Vanessa Carlton.  
**

**Disclaimer: Don't own it.**

* * *

Quinn and Santana had volunteered to run to the corner store on Main Street to pick up some things for breakfast. (Santana wanted bacon, and nothing was going to stop her from getting it. "And no, Berry. Turkey bacon is not the same or as good as the real thing.")

They were waiting in line with their purchases when Quinn began to inspect the magazine rack. A familiar picture caught her eye; and then she realized that the picture was plastered across the front page of the _Lima Herald_.

Someone had discarded that day's edition of the newspaper in the rack. Quinn snatched it up and unfolded the paper, nudging Santana to get her attention.

The Latina peered over Quinn's shoulder. They read the headline together. "Holy shit," Santana declared.

_"War Hero Finn Hudson Returns Home."_

"Fuck." Santana stared down at the picture of Finn in his army dress uniform. "Hudson is here? Does it say why?"

Quinn began to quickly scan the article. "He was injured in the line of duty after saving one of the guys in his company."

A small smile crossed Santana's face. "Way to go, Hudson." Then she frowned as she stared at the picture. "Does it say how long he'll be here for?"

"It says that his injuries were too severe for him to return to active duty." Quinn winced and folded the paper back up, tucking it into her purse.

"Shit. What the hell are we going to tell Rachel?"

Quinn bit her lip. "I don't know. But do you think that's why Kurt left last night? Because he got a call about Finn?"

"It makes more sense than that lame-ass story about him having to go to dinner. I could tell that he was lying." Kurt may have thought that he had gotten away with it, but Santana had totally seen through him. She wanted to give him a little bit of time to come up with a good reason before reaming him out for lying to them. Now, however, it seemed like a non-issue.

"Do you think Finn knows that Rachel is back in Lima?" Quinn asked. If there was even a remote chance that Finn could possibly know that Rachel had returned home, then Quinn wouldn't hesitate to tell her. On the other hand, if he didn't know… would it really be worth it to make them rehash that pain?

"I would guess no," Santana said. They paid for their groceries and made their way out of the store and back to their car. "Kurt wouldn't even tell us that Finn was back, so I doubt that he told him that Rachel is here." She got a determined look on her face. "I say that we don't tell her."

"Is that really a good idea?" Quinn said doubtfully. "Rachel is going to be here for a few months. Who knows what Finn's plans are and how long he intends to stay in Lima. They're bound to run into each other at some point."

Santana's voice was firm. "Then we'll cross that bridge when we come to it." Her tone softened after a moment, and a sad look appeared in her eyes as she remembered back to five years ago. "You remember as well as I do what she was like after Finn sent her to New York. She was a freaking mess."

Quinn nodded her head. She really had been. Rachel had been torn between being ecstatic over the fact that her life-long dream was finally coming true and being broken-hearted because of how Finn left her. Most of the time, the happiness and her determination to succeed won out during the day. At night, however (when she thought no one could hear her), they all knew that Rachel cried herself to sleep more often than not. The intense mood swings lasted for a good year before she finally began to calm down a little. Even now, she still cried at night every now and then.

"We can't keep this from her forever," Quinn said. "She would want to know that Finn was okay."

Santana sighed before nodding her head. While she was proud of Finn for everything that he had done, she still couldn't help but be a little bit pissed at the way he had shattered Rachel's heart. It was noble and selfless, what he had done; it had been one of the most romantic gestures Santana had ever seen. But it had also been one of the saddest.

With her mind made up, Santana dug around in her purse for her cell phone. Quinn gave her a questioning look as she pulled it out. "What are you doing?"

"I'm calling Kurt. We're going to visit Finn."

* * *

"Hello?"

"Lady Hummel, you are such a fucking liar."

Even though she couldn't see him, Kurt gave the phone a wry smile. "My dear Santana. What can I do for you today?"

Santana didn't miss a beat. "Well, you could tell me a little bit about this war hero brother of yours."

Crap. How had she found out about it so quickly? "Oh."

"Yeah. Oh." Neither of them said anything until Santana got fed up with the heavy silence. "Well? Aren't you going to tell me what happened? I know that you're over at your house with him. Your lie was complete shit last night."

"I don't even know the full story yet, Santana," Kurt said. "He's sleeping at the moment."

"Well he better get his Frankenteen ass up, because Quinn and I are on our way over."

"I don't know if that's a really good idea. We shouldn't bombard him with people all at once."

"Okay, first off, Quinn and I aren't just people. We're freaking Santana Lopez and Quinn Fabray. Therefore, we are more important than everyone else. And we just spent the past ten minutes lying to Berry about where we are and stealing all of the newspapers on her street _and_ across the street from her. We're coming to see Finn whether he likes it or not."

Kurt sighed. "I can't stop you, can I?"

"Nope," Santana said pleasantly. "See you in ten minutes, Hummel!"

Despite it all, Kurt had a small smile on his face as he hung the phone up. He turned to Blaine, who was busy flipping pancakes at the kitchen stove. Kurt pointed to the bag of chocolate chips on the counter.

"Be sure you put extra in. It's Finn's favorite." He stood up and smoothed out his shirt before he pressed a quick kiss to Blaine's lips. "I'm going to go wake him up. Santana and Quinn are coming to visit."

Blaine stopped mid-flip. "Is that such a good idea?"

Kurt shrugged his shoulders. "That's what I said. I couldn't talk them out of it."

"So I'll make extra pancakes. What did they tell Rachel and Brittany?"

"I don't know. They just said that they lied. They'll be here in ten minutes, so enjoy the peace and quiet while you can."

Blaine chuckled as Kurt made his way down the stairs and to the basement. Finn was sprawled out across his bed, his sheets tangled around him. There was a sheen of sweat across his forehead, and it looked as if his sleep hadn't been very peaceful at all.

Normally, Finn was a very heavy sleeper. So out of habit, Kurt reached forward and shook Finn's shoulder, calling his name loudly.

And then, before Kurt had even realized what had happened, he was slammed up against the wall by the neck of his shirt and Finn was towering over him, one fist pulled back. Kurt's gut reaction was to scream, and the sound caused Blaine to come running down the stairs. His scream also fully woke Finn up.

A look of absolute horror crossed Finn's face as he dropped Kurt back to the floor and backed away from him. He fell back onto the floor and dropped his head into his hands, closing his eyes tightly as Blaine ran forward to check on Kurt.

"Are you okay, Kurt?" Blaine asked.

"I'm fine," Kurt said. His heart pounded loudly in his ears and he was shaking a little bit, but he was okay. Kurt smoothed his shirt out again and went towards Finn. He had managed to curl himself into a small ball, given his size. His face was still hidden in his hands, and his shoulders were shaking. Kurt's heart broke a little at the sight of his strong brother looking so broken.

He put a hand on Finn's shoulder. "Finn."

Finn didn't lift his head up. "I'm sorry," he said, his voice muffled by his hands. "I'm so, so sorry."

"Hey. Finn. Look at me." He still didn't look up, so Kurt put both of his hands on Finn's shoulders and squeezed until Finn finally lifted his head. He looked up just enough so that his eyes were showing, and there was so much pain and sorrow in them that Kurt almost cried.

"I'm sorry," he said again.

Kurt shook his head and kept his gaze locked on his brother's. "You have nothing to be sorry for, Finn. It wasn't your fault."

Finn just stared at him, but his shoulders relaxed just the slightest bit. They were all quiet for a moment, knowing that something needed to be said but not really know what exactly that something was. Finally, Blaine spoke up.

"I'm making chocolate chip pancakes," he said in his usual chipper voice. Kurt looked over his shoulder and gave his boyfriend a thankful look. Blaine managed a wink back before Finn's gaze went over to him.

"Okay," Finn said in a quiet voice. Kurt patted his shoulder on more time before he stood up. They walked to the stairs together, and Finn stayed between Blaine and Kurt as they climbed back up to the main floor.

Kurt knew that it wasn't a whole lot. But baby steps, right? Progress was progress.

* * *

Finn had just begun to pick at his first pancake when the door to the Hudson/Hummel abode swung open without any preamble. Santana and Quinn walked in, both of them wearing large, bright smiles. Santana stopped directly in front of Finn and looked right into his eyes. Finn just stared back at her, almost as if he couldn't believe she was there.

Finally, a slow smile spread across Santana's lips. "Did you miss me, Hudson?"

And then, to everyone's surprise, the corners of Finn's mouth tilted up. He speared a piece of his pancake and dragged it through the syrup practically overflowing on his plate. "Just a little bit. But don't tell anyone, though."

"Whatever, Hudson." Santana pulled the plate of pancakes that Blaine offered towards her. "I bet you wish you could still tap this."

Finn's eyebrow arched, and Kurt snorted into his pancakes. Quinn smiled, and Blaine pressed a hand between Kurt's shoulders. They all sat in a companionable silence, finishing up their breakfast. Quinn kept checking the time on her phone and looking pointedly at Santana. They couldn't stay away for too long without it becoming completely obvious. Santana rolled her eyes at her and waved a dismissive hand.

"You should let me check out that cut," Santana said. She grabbed Finn's chin and tilted his head towards her, inspecting the gash that ran along his hairline. "Whoever closed this up did a shit job."

"Santana, very competent nurses already looked it over," Kurt said in a mildly amused voice.

"Obviously not. I can do better butterfly stitches than that in my sleep. What do you say, Finnegan?"

Finn shrugged his shoulders. "If you want to."

"Excellent." Santana promptly pulled her first-aid kit out of her purse. Without giving any warning, Santana began probing the cut on Finn's head. He winced and tried to push her away, but she slapped his hand away and said, "Don't fuck with me, Hudson."

For the second time that day, Finn's mouth quirked a little bit. Santana smiled softly at him in return while Kurt, Blaine, and Quinn watched on. Kurt nodded his head.

Baby steps.

* * *

"It's about time you guys got back," Rachel said as Quinn and Santana entered the Berry house. "Brittany and I got too hungry. We ate without you."

"That's fine," Santana said. She held up the plastic bag containing their groceries. "I've got my bacon, and that's all that matters."

"We're sorry we got held up in town," Quinn said. "We saw my mom and she wanted to take us out for coffee."

"It's not a problem," Rachel said. "But I promised my dads that we would run a few errands for them. I need to get out of this house. So I hope you guys don't mind going back into town later today."

"Of course not," Brittany said. She wrapped her arms around Santana and kissed her cheek. "We missed you guys, though. You can't ditch us again."

Rachel laughed at how Brittany was dramatically pouting as she looked through her bag. She frowned and double checked before she suddenly remembered. "Hey Quinn, what did you do with my keys?"

"Oh, I put them in my purse," Quinn said absentmindedly. "It's in the front hall."

Rachel disappeared into the hall as Santana put their groceries in the fridge. It was only after a minute had passed that Santana remembered exactly what was in Quinn's purse. She wiped around, the carton of eggs falling from her grasp and shattering on the floor.

"Quinn—"

Quinn's eyes grew wide. "Oh no—"

There was a crash from the front hall and a gasp. Quinn and Santana watched the entrance way to the kitchen cautiously, waiting for Rachel to reappear. Brittany just looked confused and worried as she looked between her girlfriend and Quinn and then to where Rachel had gone. They didn't have to wait much longer for Rachel to come back.

She walked into the kitchen slowly, the newspaper clenched tightly in her white-knuckled grasp. She held it out so that the picture of Finn was facing towards them.

"_What is this?_"

* * *

**Author's Note: I know that there wasn't much Finchel interaction in this chapter, but I promise that it's coming. Thanks for reading!**


	4. so what if it hurts me

**Author's Note: Flashback is in italics. Chapter title is from "Happy" by Leona Lewis.  
**

**Disclaimer: Don't own it.**

* * *

_"Hey, come on Berry. Up and at 'em."_

_ Rachel groaned and rolled over, shielding her face from the crack of sunlight peeking into her room. Santana just rolled her eyes and yanked the shades open, causing Rachel to jam her head under her pillow._

_ "I'm not putting up with this shit today, Rachel," Santana said firmly. She watched her friend for a long moment before she sat on the bed. Her voice softened. "Look, I know it was a bad night last night. But we're going to make today a good day today, okay?"_

_ It really had been a bad night last night. Rachel had been doing pretty well for the last three months. Classes were about to start, and while her heart felt broken beyond repair, she was excited._

_ And then Kurt arrived._

_ Of course, Rachel was ecstatic to see her best friend in the city. She had been so happy that he had managed to find a way to get to New York. But it also made her heartache that much more intense, since he was Finn's brother._

_ She wanted to ask where he was, what he was doing, how he was. But she wasn't sure her heart could take it._

_ Santana slapped Rachel's butt. "Come on, get up. We're going to see a show today."_

_ Rachel peeked out from under her pillow. "We are?"_

_ "Yup. Just you and me. Now get up before I change my mind. I'm even letting you pick the show today because I feel so generous."_

_ A smile appeared on Rachel's face as she got out of bed. She managed to say goodbye to Kurt without too much of a production. She and Santana went to their show and then met up with Quinn for lunch. Two days later, she was fine with Kurt being in their apartment, and everything was back to normal. Or, well, as normal as it had been before._

* * *

Quinn and Santana stared at Rachel as she held out the newspaper. This was so _not_ how they had imagined this going.

And Brittany totally didn't help matters by exclaiming, "Hey, look! That's Finn! He looks hot in his uniform."

For the most part, her comment went unacknowledged, but Quinn looked like she was about to face palm. Rachel, for her part, was still waiting for her question to be answered. It appeared that no one was going to be very forthcoming with one, however.

Finally, Santana whipped her phone out. She had no qualms with throwing Kurt under the bus. If she had to go through this, then they could damn well bet that she was going to make Kurt and Blaine explain it, too.

Kurt picked up after the second ring. Santana didn't even let him say hello before she said, "Lady Hummel, we have a def con one."

It took him a moment, but Kurt quickly caught on. "How did she find out?"

"She found the newspaper." Santana was very aware of the fact that she was having this conversation in front of Rachel, but she didn't really care. Rachel could try to burn holes through her skull with her eyes all she wanted. Santana was hardly going to be intimidated by her.

"I thought you said you stole all of them."

"Now is not the time for semantics, Hummel! Would you just get over here?"

"I…" Kurt sighed. "Yeah. Blaine and I will be there in fifteen minutes."

"Better make it five."

"Santana—"

"Kurt. Four minutes and fifty seconds."

Kurt hesitated for the briefest of seconds. "Fine. See you in a few."

Somehow, Rachel didn't explode as they waited for Kurt and Blaine to arrive. Santana and Quinn were scrambling to come up with some kind of explanation while Brittany stood up and wrapped her arms around Rachel. It wasn't long before the front door to the house opened and Kurt and Blaine appeared. The two men took in the scene before them, and then Kurt went to Rachel's other side and took her hand in his.

"Did you read the article yet?" he asked gently. This was certainly not how he had imagined breaking the news to Rachel.

She mutely shook her head, her lips pressed tightly together. Kurt pointed to the newspaper and nodded his head. Rachel took forever as she slowly opened up to the article.

Her eyes grew impossibly wide as she took in the words. They flashed through her mind rapidly: _Injured. Line of duty. Saved. Life. War. Hero. Returned. Honor. Home._

Quinn was the first to speak. "I know that this is a lot to take in, Rachel," she said in a soothing voice as she approached her friend. "But it's going to be okay."

Rachel ignored her and turned to Kurt. "How bad is it?"

"Physically? It looks bad, but it will heal," Kurt answered. "It will just take a little bit of time." He didn't go through Finn's extensive list of injuries, because he didn't think that any of them could handle that at the moment.

"Emotionally, however…" Blaine trailed off and shook his head at the memory of the incident from earlier that morning. Kurt scowled at his boyfriend, but Blaine just shrugged his shoulders and continued.

"He's a little broken right now, Rachel. He needs time to heal."

"Do you want to see him?" Santana asked bluntly.

Kurt's face turned red in frustration. "Santana!"

"What? It's a perfectly valid question!"

It was, but Rachel didn't know the answer to it. On the one hand, she didn't want to see him at all. The anger and heartbreak she felt every time she thought about the way he left her gnawed at her heart. She spent five years tamping it down, but hearing that he was back home made it return with a vengeance. Even so, she felt that tether pulling at her. I had always been there; she had felt it ever since that day five years ago. She felt the pull even more now, and she couldn't imagine what it would be like if she saw Finn again. She also couldn't imagine what it would be like if she never saw him again, either.

"Yes. No. I don't know."

Kurt dragged a hand through his hair. "Maybe we should just take some time to process this information. It's only been a few days since Finn has been home, and we just got here yesterday."

Rachel pinned Kurt with an unreadable look. "He doesn't know that I'm here yet, does he?"

"It hasn't come up," Kurt muttered. Never mind the fact that he had no idea how to bring it up, let alone actually tell Finn.

Rachel nodded her head. "I think I'm just going to go back to bed," she whispered. It didn't escape anyone's notice that she was still clutching the newspaper tightly in her white-knuckled fists.

* * *

"She's falling apart," Quinn stated as they gathered around the kitchen table.

Kurt shook his head. He remembered what Rachel had been like when he had first arrived in New York. "Was she ever really put together in the first place?"

"What they really need to do is talk," Santana said with a frown. "They'll both get better then, you know?"

"But Rachel and Finn are stubborn," Kurt pointed out. "Rachel is mad at Finn, and rightfully so. Finn thinks he did the right thing for her—which he did. But he also thinks that he's not good enough for her."

Santana crossed her arms. "That boy always was a little dense."

Kurt's lips tilted up in a small smile, but it was wiped away with Blaine's next words. "We need to be careful about how we approach this. Finn is pretty fragile right now. Just this morning he attacked Kurt—"

"Blaine!"

Three voices exclaimed in surprise: "_What?_"

Kurt shook his head and glared at his boyfriend, but Blaine looked unapologetic. "They need to know, Kurt. You can't just sneak up on Finn like that."

"Yes, but I physically snuck up on him. That's different."

"He could snap if we just throw any surprises his way, too. You can't just expect him to be perfectly okay with Rachel being back in Lima after five years."

"Okay, will somebody please explain what happened this morning?" Santana demanded loudly. The bickering couple stopped and looked at her before they both sighed at the same time.

"When I went to wake up Finn this morning, I shook his shoulder," Kurt explained. "I must have surprised him, because he reacted… unexpectedly."

"He pinned Kurt against the wall and almost punched him," Blaine said bluntly. He believed that Kurt shouldn't try to cover it up. He certainly wasn't mad at Finn; he was more concerned, since Finn had long since become another brother to Blaine. He just knew that pretending that the problem wasn't as bad as it really was wasn't going to help anyone.

Quinn, Brittany, and Santana just stared at the couple in shock. Kurt lifted a shoulder and shook his head slowly.

"He didn't mean it," he said quietly.

"Of course he didn't," Quinn said. "That reaction is actually quite common among soldiers that have returned from active duty, especially if they have experienced any traumatic events. We did a special on it once."

Quinn was a reporter at their county's news station up in New York. She was quickly garnering a lot of attention, and it probably wouldn't be long until she went national.

"So what do we do, then?" Kurt snapped. There was no easy answer to that question, and they were all quickly becoming fed up with the way that they couldn't really help Finn.

For the first time since Rachel had gone back upstairs, Brittany spoke. "I think we should treat Finn like Finn," she stated simply, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. And maybe it was. She smiled a little bit, her blue eyes sweet. "He might be a little sad, but he's still Finn. We shouldn't treat him like he's not."

The other occupants of the tale just stared at Brittany in awe. She just continued to smile serenely at them. Santana leaned over and pressed her lips to Brittany's cheek.

"Did anyone ever tell you that you're brilliant, Britts?" she said fondly.

Brittany nodded her head seriously. "Lord Tubbington does sometimes."

* * *

Carole leaned against the wall next to the basement door. Her eyes were closed tightly, and silent tears streaked down her cheeks. It didn't take Burt very long to find her. He touched her shoulder and then helped her into her robe, rubbing her shoulders through the material to warm her up.

"Hey," he said softly. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "What's up?"

Carole swallowed and wiped her tears away with the sleeve of her robe. "Finn is having a nightmare."

Burt looked towards the door, his face immediately full of concern. "Shouldn't we wake him up, then?"

Carole put a hand on Burt's arm to stop him as he started towards the door. She shook her head, fresh tears rolling down her cheeks. "I tried that with Chris when he came back," she whispered. It wasn't often that she talked about her late husband; especially not since Finn had decided to joined the army to redeem him. "It never ended well."

Burt put his hands on his wife's shoulders and looked her in the eye. "Finn would never hurt you," he said firmly.

"I know." Carole wiped at her eyes again, but it was pretty much futile. "I just… I wish… I'm so _scared_, Burt. He's strong, but what if… what if he turns out like Chris? What if he—"

"Hey." Burt laid his index finger on Carole's lips, cutting her off. "Don't think like that. We're not going to let that happen to Finn, okay? We're not." He pulled her into his arms then, rubbing her back in comforting circles. "He has us, and he's going to be okay. It might take a little bit, but Finn will be alright again."

Carole took a deep breath and nodded her head. She kissed her husband and he hugged her tightly again, lending some of his strength to her. It wasn't fair that she had to deal with this twice in her life, let alone once. He just thanked God every day that Finn had returned home to them.

"I'm going to go wake him up now, okay?" Burt said when he pulled away. "You go up to bed. I'll take care of him."

Carole nodded her head, but she knew that she wouldn't be getting much sleep that night, either.

* * *

**Author's Note: I swear that this story is a happy one, even if it doesn't seem like it right now. It's all about healing and the journey it takes to get there. I'm still amazed at all of the alerts and favorites this story has gotten. I want to hear from you guys! Thanks for reading!**


	5. to feel the sky within my reach

**Author's Note: Thanks for all of the reviews, favorites, and alerts. I'm blown away by it all! Chapter title is from "There You'll Be" by Faith Hill.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own it.**

* * *

Rachel stared at the chain clutched tightly in her hands. She ran her fingers over it and down the ring hanging in the middle. She traced her fingers over the pretty diamond, watching as it sparkled in the early afternoon sunlight streaming through her bedroom windows.

She looked next to her, where she had laid the newspaper. Finn's picture stared back up at her, and Rachel reached out to touch it with her fingertips. A small smile touched her lips.

He looked _so_ handsome in his uniform. He looked handsome, period. He had been gorgeous five years ago, of course. But now… wow.

Rachel could hear her friends moving around downstairs. Occasionally, she could hear their quiet murmurs or a laugh. She hadn't seen them since she had found the newspaper late yesterday morning and she sighed, running her fingers through her hair.

After another moment of looking at Finn's picture, she stood up took a quick shower. She changed into a comfortable sundress and then walked over to the bed, where she had left the necklace and the newspaper.

Rachel left the picture on her bed, but she picked the necklace up. She looked at the ring dangling from the chain and traced her fingers over it again before closing it tightly in her fist.

Five years ago, it had taken her a long time to heal from Finn. But she grew up and started achieving her dreams, exactly the way Finn had wanted her to. She wasn't doing it for him, though he was always in the back of her mind. She was going to end up on Broadway no matter what had happened in her life. That was the path that she had been set on. It might not have been the one she had expected, but it worked out in the end.

She didn't know what was going to happen if she saw Finn again. She didn't even know when it was going to happen. But she wasn't going to fall apart again. That wasn't why Finn let her go, and she had achieved so much since then. She was strong.

She was _Rachel Barbara Berry_, and she could do this.

* * *

"Rachel! Good afternoon, Miss Sleepyhead!"

Rachel smiled at Quinn's greeting and took the cup of coffee that Blaine offered. She kissed his cheek in thanks and then hugged Kurt around the neck from his place at the kitchen table. Santana watched Rachel with a raised eyebrow from her perch on Brittany's lap.

"Well you're looking awfully chipper this morning, Berry," she noted. "What's going on?"

Rachel just shrugged her shoulders and took a sip of her coffee. Kurt, Blaine, Quinn, Santana, and Brittany all exchanged looks, but they didn't push the matter. If Rachel was in a good mood, who were they to question it?

"You'll appreciate this, Rachel," Quinn said. "I just got an email from Mr. Schue. The glee club this year decided they wanted to have practices over summer break, and he wanted to know if we wanted to stop by to help out."

"Of course!" Rachel exclaimed. "Absolutely. When does he want us there?"

"Tomorrow afternoon. He said that he would stop by with Mrs. Pillsbury—I mean, Mrs. Schue and the baby."

"I'm game to go," Santana said. "We have to show those kids how it's done. I doubt that they're as good as us."

"For the love of God, Santana," Kurt said. "Don't say that in front of them. We can't crush their spirits."

"Please, Hummel. Like you weren't thinking the same thing."

Kurt looked thoughtful for a moment before he shrugged his shoulders. "Obviously, there is no way that they would be better than us. But I don't want to discourage the children."

Blaine looked worriedly between Kurt and Santana. "I don't think that this is such a good idea," he mumbled.

"Oh relax, Blaine," Quinn said. "There's nothing wrong with a little healthy competition."

Blaine gave the blonde an incredulous look. "Did you miss every single competition we had in glee club? What planet did you live on for those three years?"

* * *

Finn seriously hated that newspaper article.

He shoved his hands deeper into his pockets and ignored the eyes that were on him. He didn't know what had possessed him to head to the high school, but there he was. Some dance company was using the auditorium for one of their recitals, and it had let out just as Finn had got to the school.

He really wished his wrist wasn't broken. He would like to have some words with whoever wrote that article.

Resolutely ignoring them, Finn walked right past the entrance to the auditorium and back around to the football field. He took a seat at the bottom of the bleachers and picked at the end of his cast as he looked across the green field.

He wasn't really angry over the fact that he didn't get recruited to play football in college. If he was being honest with himself, he would have to admit that football wasn't exactly his favorite thing. Sure, he enjoyed playing it, but maybe it was for the best that he didn't play college ball. He wouldn't let himself dwell on the what-ifs, because that wouldn't do him any good.

Finn didn't regret joining the army. No one else might have believed it, but he felt that it was what had been best for him at the time. And he had been good at it. In high school, there hadn't been a whole lot of things that he had excelled at; in the army, it had been different. He had been a damn good soldier. The other guys looked up to him, especially the younger ones. He had really felt as if he had been making a difference.

And then the attack happened.

Finn tried not to think about it too much. It had only been a week and a half since it had happened, so the memories were still painfully fresh in his mind. But that didn't stop him from trying to pretend it hadn't happened a long time ago. It didn't help that every time he went to sleep, he was assaulting with flashbacks from the explosion.

He dragged a hand through his hair and closed his eyes. He hadn't been around an area this quiet in what seemed like forever, so he just sat back and tried to enjoy it. Maybe he would stop for some ice cream somewhere on Main Street later. It had been awhile since he had any good ice cream.

"Hey, Hudson. What the hell are you doing on my football field?"

The familiar voice pulled Finn from his thoughts. He turned to find Shannon Beiste walking towards him with a small smile on her face. She sat next to him and patted his uninjured shoulder.

"Just thought I'd come sit for a while, Coach," Finn said. "Hope you don't mind."

"Course I don't mind, Hudson. You were one of my first kids. You're welcome here any time." She looked out over the field alongside Finn and clasped her hands together. "What have you been up to?"

Finn shrugged his good shoulder. "I've been around. You know."

Beiste nodded her head. "You doing anything right now?"

Finn looked over at his coach, but she was still looking straight ahead. "No."

"I'm running a football camp for the kids this summer. You're going to come help me coach."

Finn arched an eyebrow. Had she really just _told_ him what he would be doing? Then a small smile touched his lips. It was good to know that some things had never changed, even after the five years since he had graduated from high school.

"Oh really?"

Beiste looked at him then and nodded her head, smiling at him. "Really."

"Coach. I haven't played football in five years." That wasn't necessarily true, but Beiste certainly didn't need to know that.

"So? Have you forgotten?"

"Well, no…"

"Okay then. You'll be coming here at two o'clock tomorrow."

Finn held up the wrist that was encased in a cast. "I can't exactly play football anymore, either."

Beiste shrugged her shoulders. "I'm not asking you to play, Hudson. I'm asking you to teach some kids how to play." She turned towards him, her eyes serious. "I think you would really help them to learn. You're a good leader, Finn. Don't forget that." Seeing that Finn was still looking unsure, Beiste unashamedly appealed to his hero side. "I could really use your help this summer with the kids."

Finn knew that this was a losing battle. And, even though he still wasn't exactly eager to be around a lot of people, he couldn't deny that this wasn't a job he wanted to do. Kids were different than adults. They didn't demand answers, and they didn't judge. And it would give him something to do besides being cooped up in the house all day, trying to run from his demons.

"Alright." Finn nodded his head. "I'll be here at two o'clock tomorrow." He stood up and grabbed his car keys from his pockets. "Hey, are you going to pay me for this?"

Beiste grinned at him. "Don't push your luck, Hudson."

* * *

"Alright, Mr. Schue. Let's see that little baby!"

Will Schuester laughed as he turned and saw the students from the original New Directions come into the auditorium. He turned to his wife, who was holding a two year old, curly-haired little girl. She laughed as well and reached out to hug their former students as they came up.

"Well it's good to see you too, Santana," Will said. "And you know that you can call me Will now, right?"

"Nope," Quinn said. She hugged their teacher and their guidance counselor as well. "That's too weird. You're still Mr. Schue to us. Oh, is this little Paige? She's so adorable!"

Emma adjusted the little girl in her arms and turned her so that she could see everyone. "Yes, this is Paige. She just turned two a week ago."

"Mrs. Schue, she looks just like you," Rachel said. She reached out and extended her hand. The little girl giggled and slapped a high-five to Rachel's hand before clapping her hands together. "She's so cute!"

"She has your butt chin, Mr. Schue," Brittany observed.

Rachel just couldn't resist anymore. "Mr. Schue, can I hold her?"

"Of course." Emma passed little Paige over to Rachel, who was practically glowed as she accepted the little girl. Rachel began cooing to her and softly bouncing her up and down, asking if she had a favorite song.

"How is she doing?" Will asked as soon as she was out of earshot.

"Right now, she's good," Quinn said. "I don't know if it will stay that way forever, but the past couple of years have been great. Since coming back, though… well, you can imagine."

Will nodded his head and looked over at Kurt, who had remained strangely quiet throughout the whole exchange. "How is Finn doing?"

Kurt shrugged his shoulders and wrapped his arms around himself. Blaine, in turn, wrapped an arm around his boyfriend's shoulders and pulled him close. "It varies. Some days are good, some days are bad. I know that he went outside yesterday, so I guess that was a good day."

Will put a hand on Kurt's shoulder and squeezed. "I'm going to stop by later this week, but let him know that he can call if he needs to talk to me before then, okay?" Kurt nodded his head and sent his old teacher a grateful smile.

Will was about to say something else, but an excited shriek cut him off. They turned to find several extremely excited sophomores running up to them, their eyes alight with excitement. They pointed to where Rachel was playing Patty-Cake with Paige.

"Mr. Schue," a girl said. "Is that _Rachel Berry_?"

Another boy nodded his head vigorously. "The winner of a Tony for her featured role in the Broadway revival of _Wicked_?"

Santana watched the little exchange with interest. "It's a shame Berry isn't here to witness this right now. She would eat all of this up."

"Oh, we can easily fix that," Kurt said with a grin. "Hey Rachel! Get over here!"

Rachel picked Paige back up and then handed the little girl back over to her mother. "What's going on?" she said. "Are we starting now?"

The kids shrieked again. "_Oh my God, Rachel Berry!_"

Rachel looked taken aback for the briefest of moments before she put on one of her brightest smiles. "Hello," she said.

"Oh my God!"

"Guys." Mr. Schue couldn't stop himself from laughing. "Breathe. Use your words."

"Mr. Schue, is she here to help us? Are you here to help us, Miss Berry?"

Rachel nodded her head, and the kids all rushed up onto the stage. She laughed and looked at her friends over her shoulder as she went with them. "I guess that's my cue."

* * *

"Thanks Coach Hudson! I had an awesome time today!"

Finn smiled and held his hand out for the boy to high-five him. Given that Finn was so tall, he had to jump to slap his hand, but he didn't seem to mind. He just laughed and high-fived Finn again before running off to join his parents.

Beiste came up to stand next to Finn. She had her arms crossed over her chest, but she was smiling as she watched Finn say goodbye to the rest of the kids. She still continued to regard him as he began to clean up all of the equipment they had used. It was a few minutes before Finn realized that someone was watching him.

He looked up at his former coach. "What?"

Beiste just shook her head, but she still had that smile on her face. "Nothing, Hudson," she said. "You did good today. The kids really seemed to like you."

Finn shrugged his shoulders and tossed some footballs into a mesh bag. "It was nice to get out of the house."

"Yeah, some fresh air might do you some good. You're too pale, Hudson."

Finn's mouth tilted up. "Coach."

"I hope you brought your sunscreen. You might actually get a little red tomorrow."

"Are you done yet?"

Beiste laughed and patted him on the back. "Yes, I'm done. Now get out of here. And you know, you should bring lunch tomorrow."

He couldn't resist getting a little dig in at his coach. He walked backwards so he could see if she threw anything at him. "I'll be sure to pick up a couple of chickens from Breadstix. Sound good?"

Sure enough, a football came flying his way, but not hard enough to actually hit him. "If you keep sassing me, Hudson, I won't pay you!"

Finn chuckled a little bit as he made his way back to his truck. He fumbled in his pockets for his keys, and then cursed under his breath when he dropped them on the ground. He sighed and crouched down slowly, wincing when his ribs groaned in protest.

* * *

"Come on, Kurt!" Quinn exclaimed. "I'm hungry!"

"Keep your panties on, Quinn!" Kurt retorted. "I'm moving as fast as I can!"

Santana smirked. "Well, if you and the hobbit hadn't decided to get it on in the prop closet for old time's sake, we could be at restaurant by now."

"Santana!" Both Kurt and Blaine's cheeks turned bright red as they reached the car. Santana and Rachel briefly struggled with the keys, but Rachel won in the end and she ran to the driver's side of the car.

"What's the way to the restaurant again?" she asked as she unlocked the car. When she didn't hear a response, Rachel looked up to find Kurt, Blaine, Brittany, Santana, and Quinn all staring at something behind her. Her brow furrowed, and then she turned to follow their line of sight.

There, standing two cars away from hers, was Finn Hudson.

And just as Rachel's eyes fell on him, he looked up.

* * *

**Author's Note: Ah cliffhangers! Let me know what you thought of this chapter. Thanks for reading!**


	6. and even as i wander

**Author's Note: I'm so glad that you all liked last chapter! Thank you so much for the amazing reviews. This chapter title is from "Can't Fight this Feeling Anymore" by REO Speedwagon.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own it.**

* * *

Kurt was going to throw up.

He couldn't believe that this was happening. How was it that Finn had managed to show up at the exact same time as when they were leaving? Kurt hadn't even been aware of the fact that his brother had left the house that day. Otherwise, he could have made sure that they were more careful.

Rachel and Finn could only stare at each other. Well, actually, Finn was staring. Rachel was nearing hyperventilation, she was breathing so hard and fast.

It was like each of them was waiting for the other to make a move. No one knew how long they were in that stare off. Not a sound was made from either side.

Suddenly, Rachel wrenched open her car door and jumped in. She turned on the engine and began to peel out of the parking lot. She moved so fast that Santana, Quinn, Brittany, Kurt, and Blaine barely had time to dive into the car. In fact, Blaine had shut his sweater in the door in his haste to get it closed.

They were all silent for several long moments. They could still hear Rachel's erratic breathing. She probably wasn't the best choice as a driver for the moment, but there was nothing that they could do. It appeared as if Rachel didn't have a destination in mind as she sped through Lima's back roads.

Finally, Quinn was the first to speak. "Rachel?" she said cautiously. "Rachel, are you okay?"

Rachel's only response was to press harder on the gas pedal. Santana cursed. "Jesus, Berry. Wanna slow down? I'm not really in the mood to die today."

"Santana, really?" Blaine scolded. He tugged hard on his sweater, trying his best to get it released from the car door.

"What? I'm just telling it like it is, hobbit." She looked at Rachel in the rearview mirror. "Remember yesterday? Remember how we were going to handle this?"

Rachel just shook her head.

Quinn reached over to her friend from her spot in the passenger seat. She put a comforting hand on her arm. "Rachel, let's pull over somewhere," she said soothingly.

Rachel glanced over at Quinn and then back to the road. After another long moment, she pulled over onto a grassy shoulder and turned the car off. They sat in silence as Rachel leaned forward and rested her head on the steering wheel. She breathed in and out slowly, trying to get a grip on her tumultuous emotions.

"Rachel…" Kurt whispered.

She sat up and looked over at him. He held his hand out and she took it. They both squeezed at the same time. Kurt gave Rachel a small smile and swung their joined hands back and forth.

"Do you want to sing about it?"

Rachel cracked a smile.

* * *

Finn had finally managed to move himself into his truck, but he hadn't started it up yet. He just sat in his car and stared down at his hands.

She was so beautiful.

Rachel had always been pretty. At sixteen, Finn had thought that he had never seen a more beautiful girl in his entire life. But that was before he met twenty-three year old Rachel Berry.

She had grown into herself. She was still as tiny as ever, but she couldn't be mistaken for a high school student anymore. It was the way she carried herself, really. She was a woman now.

Of course, it hadn't escaped Finn's notice that she had been with his brother—not to mention Blaine, Santana, Brittany, and Quinn. Everyone that had known that he was home had conveniently left out that fact that Rachel Berry was back in Lima, too. He wouldn't even be surprised if his mother knew, too.

Finn dragged a hand through his hair before he started his truck up. She probably hated him. It was didn't matter, though, as long as she was happy. That was all he ever wanted for her.

* * *

"I can find out why he was at the school, if you'd like," Kurt offered. After Rachel had pulled over, Blaine had taken up the roll of driver and they had gone back to the Berry household. Rachel's fathers were nowhere to be found, which was probably a good thing. The last time they had seen Finn, he had been planning on marrying their only daughter, after all.

Rachel shook her head and took a sip of her wine. "You don't have to do that, Kurt," she said. "I don't need you to spy on him for me. This is Finn's time to heal. The last thing he needs is for me to come back and mess that up for him."

Santana snorted into her glass. "I bet he could use some Berry lovin' for his healing."

"Santana, you cannot make sex jokes right now!" Quinn exclaimed. But she was trying to stifle her laughter at the Latina's comment. It had been pretty funny.

Brittany nodded her head in agreement—but with Santana, not Quinn. "Rachel's berry would probably make Finn feel a whole lot better."

Kurt face palmed.

Everyone decided to ignore the bad sexual jokes (but Santana did take a few moments to snigger as she thought of five more). Instead, they all tried to decide what the next plan of action was. Brittany and obviously Rachel were the only ones who hadn't seen Finn yet. Now that Finn knew Rachel was back, they could easily run into each other at the grocery store, or something.

"We should go visit him again," Santana decided.

Rachel looked at her friend, her eyebrows arched. "Again?" she repeated.

Santana shrugged her shoulders and inspected her nails. "Q and I went to visit him two days ago."

Blaine just shook his head in amazement at how caviler Santana was being while Rachel's eyebrows arched further up. She ended up not saying anything, however. It was Kurt who spoke up next.

"I'll have to let Finn know," he said. "We can't just blindside him with a visit."

Rachel nodded her head slowly. She could feel the anticipating and the anxiety bubbling up in her at the same time. "Of course," she said. Everyone else resumed a lighter topic of conversation, but she just sat quietly.

Rachel twisted her hands in her lap. She shouldn't be nervous about this, right? After all, he was the one to let her go. He didn't have a reason not to want to see her. She was the one who should be angry beyond all belief and refusing to see him.

And maybe she would have been, had the situation been different. If he had lied to her and hadn't actually joined the army, or if he had shown up at her apartment in New York while she was still in school, she might have been furious. But he had never pushed her.

Quite frankly, Rachel was afraid of what would happen when she saw him again… when she really saw him, and not just across a parking lot. Every time she thought that she was done with him, he always managed to find some way back into her life. And she had no doubt that he would find a way back into her heart now.

Because, even if she didn't want to admit it to herself, the truth was that Finn Hudson always had her heart. And he always would.

* * *

Kurt opened the door to the Hudmel house and walked quietly in. Maybe, if he was lucky, Finn would be out of the house or sleeping, and he would have more time to plan how he was going to explain the Rachel situation. He felt nowhere near prepared at this point.

Of course, luck was not on his side.

Finn was sitting on the couch in the living room, his face turned towards the door. He watched Kurt as he came into the house but didn't say anything. The expression on his face was unreadable.

Kurt decided to go with a simple greeting to start things off. He couldn't mess that up too much, could he? "Hey, Finn. What are you up to?"

Finn just stared at Kurt.

"Did you have a good day today? I did. We went to go visit Mr. Schue and Mrs. Schue, formerly Mrs. Pillsbury, and their baby. Mr. Schue said that he'd be by to talk to you soon."

Finn still didn't say anything.

"We went to help out with the glee club." Kurt gave a weak chuckle. "Not everyone can be as good as we were, right? We'll always be the best glee club that McKinley High School ever had."

Nothing.

Kurt cleared his throat and found himself rambling. "I mean, you saw that Rachel was with us, right? She was so good with the students today. And you know, she was holding Mr. Schue's baby. It was the cutest thing."

Still nothing.

Kurt didn't even know where any of that came from, since what Rachel had done during glee practice didn't really pertain to the issue at hand. But he kept going. It was like Finn had transferred his word vomit to him. He just couldn't stop.

"You know, you could see her, if you want. Santana and Quinn want to come back over, and Brittany wants to see you, too. And we're not just going to leave Rachel by herself, so she's going to come over, too. I think she wants to see how you're doing. She heard that you got hurt and I think she's really worried about you. So she definitely wants to see you." Kurt paused his nonsensical rambling before he quickly added, "Only if it's okay with you, though."

Finn was trying really hard not to smile as he watched Kurt go on and on. He thanked his years of military training for his ability to keep a straight face. Otherwise, he might have busted out laughing by the time Kurt had finished his first ramble, let alone this last one. Finn decided to take pity on his poor brother and finally spoke.

He lifted his good shoulder in a shrug. "If they really want to come over, they can."

Kurt studied Finn's face for a long moment. The taller man kept his expression carefully passive. "Does that mean… everyone?" Kurt asked carefully.

Finn sighed. "Yes, Kurt. That means everyone."

"Oh. Okay."

"One question, though."

Kurt tensed, unsure of what the query would be. "What?"

"Why are you all back here?' At Kurt's confused look, Finn went on, "All any of you could talk about was getting the hell out of Lima. I'm here because I had nowhere else to go." A slightly bitter chuckle left Finn's mouth before he could stop himself, but he did his best to cover it up and went on. "You guys, on the other hand…" Finn let the sentence hang. They had all achieved their dreams in New York. Why come back and be reminded of all the bad things that had happened here?

Kurt shrugged his shoulders now. "Is it so surprising that we missed our hometown a little bit? It's not as if we came back here to stay forever. And besides, Rachel wanted to take a break before her next show, so…"

At the mention of Rachel's Broadway career, Finn's lips spread into a real, honest to God smile. It was small and soft, but it was still there. Kurt watched in amazement as some of the warmth came back into his brother's eyes.

"I knew she could do it," Finn muttered. "I think she always secreted doubted herself a little bit, but I knew that she would end up on Broadway."

"You got the DVDs I sent you, right?" Kurt asked. He had sent Finn a recorded version of _Wicked_, because he knew his brother would have wanted to see the first Broadway show Rachel starred in (of course, it wasn't until later that Kurt found out that Finn had snuck up to New York on his downtime and had seen the show on opening night without telling anyone). Kurt had also sent a recording of the Tony's, with special emphasis on Rachel's performance and the acceptance of her award.

Finn nodded his head, the small smile still on his face. "Yup. I really appreciated you sending me that stuff, Kurt."

Kurt gave his brother a smug look. "I knew that you would have wanted to see it. But if you had just gone yourself, or old us that you were already there—"

"Kurt. Don't."

Kurt threw his hands up in the air, frustration quickly overcoming all other emotions. "Finn, I don't understand why—"

"Because I had to give her a chance!" Finn exploded. "I would have held her back, and everyone knows it. I couldn't live with the thought of Rachel giving up her dream for me, so I let her go get it. I had to let her find her happiness."

Kurt shook his head slowly, even though he was still a little taken aback from Finn's yelling. "You still don't get it, Finn."

Finn was breathing hard from his outburst. He got up from the couch and made his way towards the basement stairs. When he reached the door, he turned around.

"Tell them that they can come over tomorrow."

* * *

**Author's Note: Don't hate me. The next chapter will start right off with Finn and Rachel meeting for the first time since he put her on the train. This story isn't about them breaking up or Rachel being mad at Finn, though there will be some of that (the being mad, I mean). This is about them opening their hearts to one another again and healing. Let me know what you thought! Thanks for reading!**


	7. if i just breathe

**Author's Note: Wow, I am so blown away by the response to last chapter! Thank you so much! So here's the chapter you've all been waiting for. Enjoy! Chapter title is from "Breathe" by Michelle Branch.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything. The new sentence that was added to the summary is from the television series **_**One Tree Hill**_**, which I also don't own.**

* * *

Despite how nervous she was feeling, Rachel immediately felt better as soon as she was engulfed in Carole's arms.

"Oh Rachel," she said. "It's so good to see you. How have things been?"

Rachel squeezed Carole's arms. "Good. Things have been good."

Carole smiled at the grown up woman in front of her. "I saw the Tony's. I'm so proud of you, Rachel."

Rachel instantly felt tears come to her eyes. Carole had always been a sort of mother-figure to her. To hear her say that she was proud made Rachel want to hug her and never let go. She sniffled and blinked hard, trying not to cry. She had barely been at the Hudmel house for five minutes, after all.

"You're going to make me cry, Mrs. Hummel," Rachel stated. She sniffled again as if just to prove her point.

Carole gave a watery laugh of her own. There had just been so many emotions flying around over the past couple of weeks, so she was pretty much used to crying at this point. "I think you're old enough to call me Carole now, sweetie."

"Carole," Rachel tried. She smiled when the older woman nodded her head before bending to pick up the bag at her feet. She took out the Tupperware container and held it out to Carole. "I made some banana bread."

"Thank you, Rachel," Carole said as she took the container. "We've certainly missed your banana bread around here." She set it on the counter in plain sight so that both Burt and Finn would see it when they came into the kitchen. "So where is everybody else?"

Kurt and Blaine had been sitting quietly at the kitchen table the entire time the exchange between Carole and Rachel had been going on. Everyone had originally wanted to send Rachel all on her own to the Hudmel house, but she had refused. She needed some sort of backup, so Kurt and Blaine had been chosen for the job.

"Santana, Quinn and Brittany will, uh… they'll be by a little bit later," Rachel said. She waved her hand vaguely. "They had some errands to run or… something."

Carole nodded her head as if she accepted Rachel's rather lame explanation, but there was a knowing look in her eyes. She didn't comment on it though, and for that Rachel was glad. It had been a chore to get the three girls to agree to come at all that day.

"So." Carole looked towards the stairs leading up to the second floor. "He went to take a shower after he got back from the summer camp. He should be finished soon, though."

Rachel's brow furrowed. "Summer camp? What summer camp?"

Kurt finally spoke up with a chuckle. "Coach Beiste roped Finn into helping coach the football summer camp up at the high school."

A small smile came onto Rachel's face as she thought about Finn playing with a bunch of eager little kids. He had always been such a good people person, and he had such a way with kids. It really came as no surprise to Rachel that he had ended up helping Beiste with her summer camp.

"That's… that's really wonderful," Rachel said. Carole smiled and reached over to squeeze Rachel's arm just as a very familiar set of feet thumped into the kitchen.

"Hey Mom, do you need any help with dinner? I can—" Finn stopped speaking abruptly when he realized exactly who was standing in his kitchen.

Just like they had the day before, Finn and Rachel stared at each other. Now that they were actually standing across form one another, they could each study the other more closely. Still, neither one had yet to say a word.

Ever since returning to Lima, Rachel had managed to avoid crying. But standing directly in front of Finn, seeing how much he was hurt… it made her want to burst into tears. Finn wasn't supposed to get hurt. He was supposed to be okay. When she had imagined seeing him again—and she had imagined it plenty of times—it hadn't been like this.

Even so, Finn was still the most handsome man she had ever seen. That picture in the newspaper just hadn't done him justice. His hair was shorter, but it still managed to remain messy. He had filled out, and seemed more comfortable in his body. Rachel could see his well-defined muscles rippling underneath his t-shirt where it stuck to his still damp skin. It seemed to her as if he had gotten taller still, but she was certain that she would still fit perfectly in his arms. He was dressed casually, in a pair of basketball shorts and a gray t-shirt. His hair was still wet from the shower and he was barefoot. And he was still staring at her with his amber-colored eyes.

What jarred Rachel even further were the bruises fading on the left side of his face. They were all yellow and green, and his bandages were prominent under his t-shirt. The cut that ran along Finn's hairline looked like it hurt a lot, and then there was the cast that was wrapped around his left wrist. It looked as if he had been banged around quite a bit.

Carole, Kurt, and Blaine were absolutely silent as they watched Finn and Rachel. This was the first time that they had seen each other—really, truly seen each other—in five years. This was the moment that they had been waiting for since Finn had put Rachel on that train.

Unsurprisingly, Rachel was the first to finally speak.

She pointed over her shoulder, towards the counter. "I brought banana bread."

Blaine made a choking noise as he tried to stifle his laughter. Kurt dug an elbow into his boyfriend's side in response, but he had a smile on his face as well. At least he was successfully hiding his laughter. Carole just looked like she was about to cry, but everyone had expected that.

The corner of Finn's mouth quirked up a little bit. "Rachel," he murmured.

Hearing him say her name made Rachel want to melt into a puddle right there on the floor. A part of her wanted to be furious with him, wanted to yell at him. And she probably deserved to get the chance to do that.

But could Rachel really be angry with Finn? On the surface, sure. But deep down, Finn had pushed Rachel to go after her dreams. He hadn't let her back down from what she had been fighting for her whole life.

Rachel wanted to revert back to her sixteen year old self and stamp for foot for the unfairness of it all. Whatever happened to getting the happy ending? Where was hers? Why did this have to be so hard?

"Finn," Rachel whispered. She cleared her throat, forced herself to relax and make herself louder. "How have you been?"

Finn shrugged his uninjured shoulder, and continued to watch Rachel with his amber eyes. His expression was unreadable. Rachel wondered what he was seeing when he looked at her like that. He didn't make to move, either.

"I've been okay," Finn said, and Rachel immediately wanted to kick herself and cry all at the same time. Of course he wasn't okay. But Finn didn't give her much time to over think what should have been a simple question. "How about you?"

"Good. Things are going well."

Finn nodded his head, and one hand came up to rub the back of his neck. It was an old nervous habit that he had. "How's New York?"

Against her will, Rachel winced. That was the place he sent her off to, after all. That was the place where she tried to let go of him. The other three occupants of the room held their breath as they waited for Rachel to respond.

"New York is great," Rachel said after a moment. And she wasn't lying, because it was. But that didn't mean something wasn't missing.

"How long are you planning on staying in Lima?" Finn asked conversationally. He was talking to her as if they had just seen each other the day before. As if they hadn't spent any time apart. At the same time, however, he wasn't speaking to her like he used to.

Rachel opened her mouth to respond, but then she saw Finn's eyes move away from her for the first time since he had walked into the kitchen. He focused on something behind her, and his mouth quirked again. It wasn't quite a smile, but there was some definite amusement on his face. With her brow furrowed, Rachel turned around to see what he was looking at.

There, with their faces pressed up against the kitchen window, were Brittany, Santana, and Quinn.

Rachel's mouth dropped open in shock. She honestly didn't know whether she should start yelling or laughing at her friends. They really were unbelievable.

Then, as if they could brush it off, the three women stood up and tried to look as nonchalant as possible. They failed miserably, as everyone in the kitchen was now watching them. They seemed to give up when Brittany accidentally tripped on one of the deck chairs. Quinn yanked open the back door and they all walked into the kitchen. They (even Santana) all at least had the good grace to look somewhat sheepish.

"Hey guys!" Quinn said pleasantly. "What's up?"

Rachel just crossed her arms and stared at the three women, shaking her head. Meanwhile, Blaine and Kurt busted out laughing.

"You three are ridiculous," Kurt said between chuckles.

"Oh please." Santana rolled her eyes, but she was smiling. "Like you wouldn't have done the same thing." But they all joined in on the laughter, but then Brittany caught sight of Finn.

"Finn!" she exclaimed before she practically skipped over to him. She paused in front of the taller man, assessing his appearance, before she leaned forward and carefully hugged him.

Finn looked down at Brittany's head, astonishment clear on his face. Even so, he hugged the blonde back.

Ever since their senior year, when Finn had helped Santana after she had come out, Brittany had always had a soft spot for him. Unbeknownst to everyone else, she had tracked Finn down and had kept in contact with him. Every few months, even when he was overseas, she would send him a letter. More often than not, those letters were accompanied by a picture of some sort.

Brittany pulled away from Finn and looked over at Rachel, and then at Santana and Quinn. "Did any of you hug him yet?" she asked.

Quinn and Santana looked at each other before they just smiled and shrugged their shoulders. Santana gave Brittany a soft kiss just for being so sweet before the two girls hugged Finn from both sides. A quiet chuckle escaped him as he gave their shoulders a squeeze. They pulled back from him, and then everyone in the room turned to look at Rachel.

Oh, she wanted to hug him so badly.

But she couldn't make her feet move. This was the first time in five years that she was face to face with Finn. She didn't know if she could handle touching him, too—especially with everyone watching.

As if he could read her mind (he had always been really good at that), Finn said softly, "Rach, you don't have to."

Oh God. He called her Rach.

The nickname fell easily from his lips, almost as if he had never stopped using it. She could have kissed him right then, she really could have. But she just settled for a hug instead.

"No, it's okay," Rachel said. Then, she returned the words he had spoken to her almost eight years ago on a whisper: "I want to."

Finn's eyes widened, but he didn't make a move towards her (even though he really wanted to). He was waiting for her, making sure that this was really all okay. All he wanted to do was snatch Rachel up into his arms and never let her go, but he wasn't about to scare her off. So he waited for her to come to him.

Rachel took slow steps towards Finn. It took several long moments, but she eventually stopped right in front of him. She looked at him with wide, worried eyes, clearly trying to figure out the best way to hug him without hurting him.

Finn raised the hand not encased in a cast. He brought it slowly towards Rachel, giving her ample chance to push him away. When she didn't, he lightly cupped her cheek and slid his fingers into her hair. "It's okay," he murmured.

And that was all the encouragement she needed. Rachel pressed her face into Finn's chest and slid her arms around his middle. He wrapped his arms around her in turn and held her close, leaning down to press his face into her soft hair.

Rachel could feel the tears burning in her eyes, blurring her vision as they threatened to escape. But she refused to cry. She would not break down in front of Finn. She squeezed her eyes shut and held him just a little bit tighter. It felt like coming home, being in his arms again.

Then Finn gently stroked his fingers through her hair, just like he always used to when he hugged her. The simple action caused something inside Rachel to snap. She pulled away from him and looked into his eyes. Her own were wide and glassy with unshed tears, and a hiccup escaped her lips. She pressed a hand to her mouth as the tears got dangerously close to overflowing.

Finn reached out to her again. "Rachel—"

She turned on her heel and ran out of the house.

* * *

**Author's Note: I swear, this story is about Finn and Rachel getting together. They just need to work through the pain a little bit first. But they've finally met up with each other again! I hope that you all enjoyed this chapter!**


	8. in the pain, there is healing

**Author's Note: Thanks for all of the amazing reviews! You guys are awesome. This chapter title comes from "Broken" by Lifehouse.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own it.**

* * *

The look of absolute devastation on Finn's face as Rachel ran out the house was heartbreaking.

It was only there for a split second before Finn quickly schooled his expression. That didn't stop him from sinking down into one of the chairs at the kitchen table, however. He dropped his head into his hands, closed his eyes, and inhaled deeply.

"She hates me," he muttered, more to himself than anyone else.

The other occupants of the room all glanced at each other, unsure of what to say. Finally, Quinn cleared her throat. "Oh, Finn. No she doesn't."

Santana snorted. "Yeah right. She totally does."

Kurt glared at Santana and would have thrown something at her if anything suitable enough had been in reach. "Santana!"

"What?" The Latina shrugged her shoulders. "I'm not saying that Berry completely and totally hates Finnegan. I'm just saying that a part of her—however small that part may be—might." She watched Finn for a moment before she said, "And you sort of brought it on yourself, you know."

Finn looked sharply up at Santana but didn't say anything. His silence was more dangerous than anything else. Santana couldn't see the anger in his eyes—yet. But she was sure that if she pushed just the right buttons, Finn might explode. Whether or not that was a good thing or a bad thing, she couldn't tell.

"Santana," Blaine objected weakly. She just waved a dismissive hand in his direction and completely ignored his plea.

"Berry doesn't hate you," Santana repeated. "But I think that she's angry with you on some level. And she has a right to be, you know?"

They all—Quinn, Brittany, Kurt, Blaine and even Carole—knew that she was right. They had all been thinking it, and they had definitely talked about it enough times. Santana was the only one brave enough to actually say it. The rest of them could pussy foot around Finn all they wanted to. When she had come out in high school, Finn hadn't sugar coated it for her. Santana was just returning the favor.

Finn's eyes narrowed. Now Quinn was pleading with her friend. "Santana…"

But she wasn't going to stop. "Don't sit here and try to play the victim, Frankenteen. You put her on that train."

Finn's fists clenched. "Santana, don't," he said lowly. But she refused to heed his warning and just powered on.

"I've been living with Rachel for the past five years, okay? I know what she went through. For a period of time, she did hate you. And she was angry with you. A small part of her probably still is. And like I said before, she has a right to be. Because you made that choice. You put her on that train. You separated yourself from her. You don't get to play the victim, Finn. You want to fix it? Fine. You're going to have to get up and do it yourself. Sitting here and feeling sorry for yourself won't solve anything."

Finn's eyes blazed at Santana. Everyone held their breath for a tense moment that seemed to go on forever. Even Santana shrunk back a little bit under the power of his glare, and they waited for the explosion. But Finn finally relaxed. She was right. He had been the one to tell Rachel to let go. This was on him, and him alone.

"But Rachel isn't all angry with you," Quinn pointed out after another pause. Clearly, she was going for the good cop after Santana's bad cop. "I mean, she did hug you."

"She did," Blaine quickly agreed. "Rachel wouldn't have done that if she hadn't missed you."

So many emotions were swirling around in Finn. He just didn't know what to do with them. Finally, he scrubbed a hand over his face before standing. "We should probably go find her. She couldn't have gotten very far."

"She didn't take the car, either," Blaine announced as he looked out the kitchen window. "So she has to be around here somewhere."

"Let's split up and look for her," Finn suggested. His years in the military allowed him to easily fall back on his training when it came to getting something done. It made him relax, feel a million times more comfortable. This was familiar. Delegating jobs, taking the lead—this was what he was good at.

It wasn't like it was going to be that hard, anyway. Finn had a knack for finding Rachel when she went missing.

"You should probably look in the backyard, Finn. She's less likely to be back there." Kurt said quietly.

"What do you mean?"

Kurt sighed, but he didn't seem fazed by Finn's sharp tone. "You might not be the person that she wants to see right now."

Finn's jaw tightened, but he didn't argue. "Fine." Without waiting, he turned and walked from the house. It vaguely occurred to him that he was still barefoot, but he didn't really care. He was more focused on making sure that Rachel was okay.

It wasn't hard to find the impression of her small feet in the soft earth. Finn followed the trail into the wooded area at the back of the yard. It looked like Kurt's plan backfired; he was going to be the one to find Rachel.

Finn came upon a clearing not too far from the house. Sure enough, Rachel was there. She was huddled up against the trunk of a tree, her knees pulled up to her chest with her face pressed up against them. His heart broke all over again when he saw the way her shoulders were shaking.

Finn's approach had been near silent, especially since he was barefoot. Rachel didn't notice that he was standing there at all. Finn didn't hesitate to reach out and touch her shoulder.

"Rachel," he said softly. She jumped in surprise and looked up.

She wasn't crying.

Sure, Rachel's eyes were shining with unshed tears and she kept sniffling, but there wasn't a single tear track down her cheeks. She had been shaking with the effort of refusing to cry, and that only made Finn admire her strength that much more.

Rachel looked up at his face and then looked back down. Her brow furrowed. "You're not wearing any shoes."

One side of Finn's mouth lifted up slightly. He sank down to the ground next to her and extended his legs, leaning back against the trunk of the tree. "You're starting off our conversations today with all sorts of interesting statements."

Rachel blinked before she looked over at him, unsure of whether or not that was a joke. When she saw the barely there half-smile on his face, she relaxed a little. She tilted her head, studying his handsome face intently. Focusing on that was so much better than trying to decipher all of the tumultuous emotions flooding through her.

Before she could stop herself, she found herself wondering aloud, "Don't you ever smile anymore?"

Finn's lips pressed into a hard line. "What?"

Rachel shook her head, immediately kicking herself for letting her mouth get away with her. "Nothing. Never mind." She rested her chin on her knees and tightened her arms around her legs.

Finn was silent for several long moments, watching her as he mulled over her quiet question. When it became apparent that she wasn't going to elaborate any further, he said, "Are you trying to disappear?"

Rachel looked up at him, lifting her head a little bit. They were sitting next to each other. Finn ached to reach out, slide his fingers into her hair, and pull her lips to his. It would be so easy. But he couldn't do it. At least, not yet.

He pointed to her legs and the way her body was curled around them. "I don't think I've ever seen you roll yourself into a ball this small."

"Oh." Rachel tried to relax a little, but that was sort of hard to do when he was sitting so close to her. His smell, one part fresh laundry detergent and one part uniquely Finn, enveloped her. "It was comfortable."

They sat in silence for a few moments. There were so many things that needed to be said, yet neither of them knew how to say it. Finally, Finn sighed and turned to face her more.

"Rachel, that was the second time you've run away from me this week."

"I—" Rachel immediately opened her mouth to defend herself, but then she saw the look in Finn's eyes. "I just… I don't know, Finn. What do you want me to say?"

Finn lifted his good shoulder. "Whatever you want." He wasn't going to try to plead with her or make her listen. She had to be ready to do it on her own time. "Look, Rachel. I'm sorry—"

"No." Rachel scooted back from Finn a little bit, her hands held up. "Don't. Not now, Finn."

"Okay." Finn swallowed hard and nodded his head. "Okay. We can… Whatever you want, Rachel. You can come see me every day, if you want to. Or you don't have to see me at all." That just might kill him, but he would respect her wishes if that was what she wanted.

"I want to see you, Finn," Rachel whispered. She tried not to think too much about the words that just left her mouth. Because she really did want to see him. "But I can't just…"

"I know." Finn stood and brushed his shorts off. He waited until she looked up at him, right into his eyes. "Rachel, I just want you to know that I'll wait for you. Whenever you're ready, whether that is one week from now, one month, one year, or longer… I'll be right here."

Rachel watched Finn with wide eyes as he bent down to run his fingers along her cheek. Then he stood up and left, going as quietly as he came.

* * *

Finn could hear someone approaching as he made his way back to the house. He knew right away that it wasn't Rachel, and he whipped around, one hand out to push the unknown person into a tree. He was careful not to push too hard, because he was sure that it was one of his friends.

He really shouldn't have been surprised that it was Santana.

Brittany was with her. Finn had definitely caught her off guard, but she didn't look at all frightened. He hadn't given her a reason to be. While she knew that Finn would never do anything to hurt her, Santana was more than aware of the fact that he was trained to fight. But that wasn't about to stop her from ripping him a new one.

"What did you say to her?" Santana demanded.

Just to mess with her, Finn kept Santana up against the tree with his right hand, almost casually. He sort of wondered if she was going to "go all Lima Heights on his ass", but he almost knew that he could stop her if she really wanted to hit him. Serve her right for being a pain in his ass, anyway. "I said what I needed to say."

"Okay, Finnegan. Is there any particular reason as to why you're being annoyingly cryptic?"

"Just because I know it pisses you off."

"Finn, if you said anything to hurt her—"

Finn turned his sharp, hard gaze towards her. "I didn't. And I wouldn't."

"Finn! What the hell are you doing to her?"

Brittany, Santana, and Finn all turned as Quinn and Blaine made their way over to them with Kurt leading the charge. He glared at Finn as he slowly let go of Santana. The Latina just rolled her eyes.

"He didn't hurt me, Kurt," she assured him. "He was just messing around. I was threatening to go all Lima Heights on his ass."

Finn managed to choke back his chuckle as Kurt looked at Santana and then at him, skepticism clearly written on his face. Finn just shrugged and gave his brother a blank look. He sighed before he finally nodded his head.

"Finn found Rachel!" Brittany piped up.

"_What?_"

"Why didn't you tell us before?"

"Is she okay?"

"Did you just _leave_ her there?"

Finn rolled his eyes. Really, they could all be too much sometimes. He could feel his temper building, but he took a deep breath and clenched his fists in an effort to calm himself down. "She's okay," he said. "I found her, made sure she was okay, and then I figured that she would come back on her own time."

Kurt's eyes narrowed. "What did you say to her?"

"I don't think that it's any of your business, Kurt."

"Yes, Finn, it is. What did you say to her?"

"Kurt—"

"Finn, why don't you just tell me? The last time you did something like this, you ended up putting Rachel on a train and joining the army—"

"Fuck, Kurt! It's none of you business!" Finn snapped.

Everyone jumped in shock at Finn's harsh tone as Kurt immediately quieted and looked so guilty that Finn almost apologized. But he didn't. No matter how many times Finn tried to explain himself, Kurt—or everybody else—just didn't get it. They didn't get how utterly worthless he felt. No matter what he tried, it just felt like it hadn't been enough. And all he was going to do was hold Rachel back if he had let her marry him five years ago. He couldn't do that to her. She was destined for greatness, while he was going to be stuck as a Lima Loser. Joining the army was his last ditch attempt at making it out of the small town, and it had worked… for a while. Maybe one day, Kurt and the rest of his friends and family would understand, but that day wasn't toady.

Finn just shook his head and turned to walk away. He would always wait for Rachel, because he would always love her. She was the one, his everything, and that would never change for him. But he wasn't going to force it. Not after what he put her through. He was going to wait for her to sort this out for herself. He could only hope at the end of it, Rachel Berry still loved him.

* * *

**Author's Note: I know there have been a lot of fics about Rachel being angry when Finn comes back. And she definitely is, but I think that what makes this different is that they're both in Lima, as opposed to Finn just showing up in New York. They both have to be together in the same place, so she can't just hate him, you know? Thanks for reading, and let me know what you all think!**


	9. but i found you here

**Author's Note: I just wanted to say that you all are truly amazing. Thank you so much for the reviews! This chapter title is from "Nothing Left to Lose" by Mat Kearney.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything.**

* * *

"Hudson, you're drooling."

"What?"

Beiste smirked as she leaned against the fence. "I see the way you're staring at Berry. Why don't you just go over and talk to her?"

Finn's cheeks flushed and he turned to glare at his old coach. "Coach…" he said, the warning clear in his voice. He'd been pretty touchy ever since Kurt had tried to get out of Finn what he'd said to Rachel two days ago. He didn't mean to take it out on the people around him, but he didn't really have a valid outlet at the moment, given the fact that he was injured.

Beiste held her hands up, unfazed by Finn's snippy tone. "I was just saying."

Finn sighed and picked at edge of his cast. "Well, I've already talked to her."

"And how did it go?"

"It went… okay. I guess." It had been two days since Finn had actually talked to Rachel. He had meant what he said about not wanting to push her, but he hadn't missed the part where she said that she wanted to see him again.

Beiste nodded her head and clapped his shoulder. "Don't give up, Finn," she said quietly. Then she stood up as she heard the excited yells of the kids running towards them. "Ready to get to work?"

Finn had a small smile on his face as he grabbed a football. There was that little spark of excitement in his eyes. "Yup."

* * *

"They're a really great group of kids, Mr. Schue," Rachel said as she and her old teacher left the school auditorium. The glee club met every Tuesday and Thursday, and Rachel was determined to go to every practice that they had. Quinn, Brittany, Santana, Kurt, and Blaine all had other things to do that day, but Rachel had wanted to go to the practice. She wanted the kids to succeed and do as well as they had back when she had been in New Directions.

Will nodded his head. "They are," he agreed. "They're just… they're missing that soul that you guys used to have, you know?"

"Don't worry, Mr. Schue. By the time I'm through with them, they'll be ready to win Nationals!"

Will chuckled. "I don't doubt it, Rachel. You always did have a way with getting people to succeed."

They continued to speak as they walked. Rachel just followed Will as they walked across the parking lot. It wasn't for another few long moments before she realized that they hadn't been heading towards their cars; instead, they were going to the football field.

Rachel almost froze, but she managed to keep her feet moving. Will looked at her but didn't say anything as they entered the field. Beiste noticed them right away and walked over, greeting Will with a pat on the back. She smiled at Rachel and hugged her.

"Hey, Coach Beiste," Rachel said with a smile of her own. She had always liked the football coach.

"Rachel Berry. What brings you back to Lima after all that fanciness from New York City? I hear you've been lighting up Broadway and winning all sorts of awards," Beiste said.

Rachel couldn't help the proud smile that came on her face. She still couldn't believe that she had already achieved her dreams on Broadway, and that those dreams just kept growing. "I thought I could use a break for a little while. It doesn't hurt to go back to your roots, you know?"

"Of course not," Beiste agreed. She subtly turned towards Finn, who was surrounded by the kids. Her movement caused both Will and Rachel to turn with her, until they were all facing him. "Now, I can't imagine that you came all the way over here to just to see me. The kids' parents will be here in about five minutes, if you don't mind waiting that long."

"I don't," Will said. "I just wanted to talk to Finn for a quick moment. It won't take long."

Rachel bit her lip and didn't say anything as they all fell quiet and watched Finn. They were close enough that they could hear what the kids were saying as they all eagerly chattered around the taller man.

"Coach Finn, what did you do to your wrist?" one little boy, Robby, asked.

Finn looked down at the white cast encasing his left forearm before he looked back up at the kids. He tried to keep his face as relaxed as possible as he spoke. "I hurt it at work. It's nothing too serious. I'll have the cast off in about five weeks."

A little girl named Katie tugged on his shirt. "Why hasn't anyone signed it yet? When I broke my leg, lots of people signed my pink cast and drew pictures all over it."

Finn shrugged his good shoulder. "I guess no one has asked to sign it yet."

Katie grinned and dug around in her little backpack. She pulled out a pink marker. "We can sign your cast, Coach Finn!"

A small smile touched Finn's lips as he held his cast out. "Sure. I'm sure it will look much better after you guys sign it, anyway."

Five minutes later, the parents came to collect their kids. Finn looked down at his cast; now it was a rainbow of colors, with a whole mess of pictures and names on it. His lips lifted up again. He didn't mind. Seeing all of the kids' names on the cast distracted him from how he actually got it.

He looked up to see where Beiste had gone and was surprised to find her talking to Will Schuester… and Rachel. Finn rubbed the side of his neck—his burns had been bothering him all day—before he slowly began to make his way over to the small group. They all looked up, waiting patiently for him to arrive. Beiste was smirking knowingly. Will was wearing a large, beaming smile. Rachel was watching him with her wide eyes and biting her lip. Finn groaned internally at the gesture but pushed it to the back of his mind as he reached them.

"Finn," Will greeted warmly. He hugged the younger man, and his eyes were suspiciously bright. "It's good to see you.

Will didn't ask how Finn was because he didn't need to. Over the five years since he had graduated high school, Finn had kept regular contact with Will. How could he not? The man had mentored him and was there for him when he needed it most. To top it all off, he had felt horrible when he ended up missing Will and Emma's wedding. Unfortunately, he had left for his first deployment only a week before the ceremony. He had sent a video to the couple, but he really had no idea if anyone else besides them had seen it.

"It's good to see you too, Mr. Schue," Finn said. And it really was. It felt as if a small weight had been lifted from his chest. Will had never judged him or tried to get him to do something that he didn't want to do. He had been a constant support in Finn's life since sophomore year of high school. In fact, in addition to still being honorary best man at Will and Emma's wedding, the couple had decided to name Finn as little Paige's godfather.

"I'll bring Emma by to see you in a few days, if that's okay," Will said. "She'll bring Paige with her. After all, she has to meet her godfather, right?"

Finn nodded his head and felt his chest tighten. He hadn't even met the little girl yet. To know that Will trusted Finn enough to name him the guardian of his child really struck a chord within him. He could feel Rachel's eyes on him as that little piece of information as revealed, but she didn't say anything.

Beiste nodded her head towards his left arm. "That's a nice cast you got there, Hudson."

"Oh." Finn held his arm up so everyone could see it better. "The kids wanted to sign it, so…" He lifted his good shoulder. "Why not?"

Beiste and Will nodded their heads. Rachel, on the other hand, was digging around in her purse. She pulled out a gold Sharpie a moment later and held it up (she had learned to always have one on hand after people started asking her for autographs in New York). She looked up at Finn with her large, doe eyes and bit her lip again before speaking.

"Would it be okay if I signed it?" she asked softly.

Finn's mouth almost dropped open in shock, but he held it shut. He gave himself a moment to recover before he held his arm towards her. "Sure."

Rachel put her small hand on his cast. She traced her fingers over the names of the kids and then continued down to his fingers. Her eyes didn't move from his as she wrapped her fingers around his and uncapped the Sharpie with her teeth. She managed to find a white space on the cast and signed her name with a flourish. Underneath her name, she drew a gold star. Finn's lips lifted in a smile.

Rachel looked up just as Finn began to smile. She gasped a little, the cap of the marker falling from her lips. Finn's fingers tightened around hers, and hers tightened even further in return. Amber eyes bored into chocolate doe eyes as they simply stared at each other, holding onto each other's fingers.

Suddenly, the chimes of "Defying Gravity" split the silence. Neither Finn nor Rachel noticed the way Beiste and Will practically deflated as Rachel let go of Finn's hand, scooped the cap of her Sharpie up, and dug around in her purse for her phone. When she pulled it out, she flashed the screen towards him.

"It's Kurt," she said before she answered it.

Finn hid a groan. Kurt wasn't even within a five-mile radius of them, and he had somehow managed to cock block Finn. Did he have some type of sensor, or something? The next time he and Rachel were alone, Finn was going to make sure that Blaine locked Kurt in his room, or something.

"Well, I have to get going," Rachel said once she hung up. "They want me to run to the store and pick up some wine for dinner." She tucked her things back into her purse and gave them a little wave. "I'll see you all later." Her eyes lingered on Finn for a brief moment before she turned and walked back to her car.

* * *

"Fuck you, man. Why haven't you come to see me yet?"

Finn's eyebrow arched as he looked at his best friend standing in the doorway of his living room. "I actually like to get sleep from time to time." That plan wasn't working out too well, but no one needed to know that.

"Fuck you," Puck repeated. "You know that I work late hours." Puck plopped on the couch next to Finn and put his feet up on the coffee table. He had heard that Finn was back (just as everyone else in Lima had, thanks to that damn newspaper article) and had wanted to give him his space. Since it had been about two weeks since Finn had returned home, Puck had decided to give himself the night off and went to visit him. "Speaking of, why haven't you come to the bar yet?"

Finn shrugged his good shoulder. The truth was, being in a loud, crowded, dark place didn't exactly appeal to Finn at the moment. The base psychologist said that the feeling of anxiousness should fade, but it was different for everyone. Finn tried not to push himself and only went out for brief walks down Main Street and to help Beiste with the football camp.

Puck nodded his head. He may not have known exactly what was going on, but he wasn't stupid. He knew when to leave well enough alone. If Finn didn't want to go to his bar, than that was fine.

After high school, Puck had made a brief trip out to California. He had ended up running into his father of all people, and that had pretty much made him high tail it straight back to Lima. He didn't want to end up aimlessly roaming the United States like his father. It was time to buckle down and figure out what he wanted to do with his life. Eventually, Puck had found a job as a bartender at an old place called Wet Willy's. Two years later, the guy who owned the bar decided that he wanted to retire. So he sold the bar to Puck for a ridiculously cheap price (he just wanted to be rid of it after going through a bad divorce). Surprisingly, Puck had really brought the bar back and now it was thriving.

"I hear that you've been helping Coach with the football camp. How are you doing that with a fucked up wrist?" Puck pointed to the cast with the mess of colorful names on it. He titled his head as he tried to decipher exactly what it all said.

Finn gave Puck a mildly exasperated look. "Magic."

Puck snorted in response and continued to look at the cast. Suddenly, a familiar gold star caught his eye. He reached forward and yanked Finn's arm towards him in order to get a closer look. Finn hissed in pain when his ribs twinged. Puck glanced up at him apologetically and winced when he saw that it looked like Finn was about to hit him. Puck pointed at the spot of interest on the cast and started talking to distract him.

"Holy shit. Is that Rachel Berry's signature on your cast?"

Finn shifted a little in his seat. Apparently, Puck hadn't yet heard the news about the return of their friends. "Uh… yeah."

"And there's Hummel's name… and Blaine's…" Puck looked up and glared at Finn. "Why the fuck haven't you let me sign it yet?" When Finn just shrugged his good shoulder, Puck continued to inspect the cast. "Hell, even Santana and Brittany's names are on here! And…"

Puck trailed off and looked up at Finn. He nodded his head and let Puck connect the rest of the dots himself.

"Quinn." Puck swallowed hard. "Quinn is back?"

Finn nodded his head again. "They're all back?"

"Even Berry?"

"Yeah."

"Damn, man." Puck put a hand on Finn's uninjured shoulder. "That's gotta be rough."

Finn looked down at the gold star drawn on his cast. The corner of his mouth lifted up. "I don't know. It hasn't been so bad." He glanced over at Puck. He was still staring at the space where Quinn had managed to squeeze her name (Finn had guessed that Rachel had told the rest of them about how she had signed his cast. The next thing he knew, they had all shown up at his house demanding to sign it, as well). "I gotta say, I'm more worried about you at the moment."

"What? Why?" Puck glared at Finn and pretended like he didn't know what he was talking about, but it wasn't as if Finn didn't know. For Puck, Quinn had always been the one that got away.

"I think you know why."

"Yeah, well… I'm worried about you, too, you jackass. You've obviously seen Berry. What did she say?"

"She ran away. Twice."

Puck tried to stuff his fist into his mouth in his attempt to stifle his laughter. Finn glared at him and kind of looked like he wanted to punch him again. Puck was strong, but Finn had years of actual training on him. He had no doubt that Finn could beat him easily—even with one wrist broken (not that Puck would ever admit that to anyone).

"It's not funny," Finn growled.

"Dude, I'm sorry," Puck said once he had calmed down. "I didn't mean it like that."

Finn continued to scowl at Puck for another long moment before he relaxed. "She didn't run away the fourth time I saw her," he revealed. "So I guess that's good."

"What happened the third time?"

"That was after the second time she ran away from me." Finn closed his eyes for a brief moment, remembering the feel of her smooth skin against his fingertips. "I found her and we… talked. Told her that I would be here when she was ready."

Puck grinned then. Things might have been royally fucked up at the moment, but it was good to know that his friend wasn't giving up. If there were two people who deserved their happy ending, it was Finn and Rachel. Puck tried not to think about himself and Quinn too much. It was easier to focus on Finn's problems than his own—especially when his own felt so trivial in comparison.

Puck snatched a marker from the table. "Let me sign your cast, you jackass."

Finn shook his head, but a small smile lifted his lips. He had seen Puck a few times when he had been on leave, but this was the first time that they had really got to hang out since graduation. "It's good to know that some things never change."

Puck just smirked before he crammed his name onto the cast—right next to Quinn's.

* * *

**Author's Note: I figured it was time to bring Puck in. I threw some Quick in there, because I've always thought that they were a cute couple. And there was some Finchel in this chapter, too. Don't worry, there will be more to come! Thanks for reading, and let me know what you all think!**


	10. if you take me for everything

**Author's Note: As always, thank you for the amazing reviews! I'm kind of going off speculation for season four in this chapter a little bit. I just briefly talk about Rachel's time at NYADA, so it's nothing too spolierish. This chapter title comes from "All the Same" by The Sick Puppies.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own it.**

* * *

"I am so _bored_. Let's go out."

Kurt snorted as he flipped a page of his magazine. He scanned the pictures from the red carpet and felt extremely satisfied when he saw three celebrities wearing his dresses. "Santana, you forget that we're in Lima, Ohio. It's not exactly known for its nightlife."

Santana rolled her eyes. "And you forget, Lady Hummel, that we're all over twenty-one. Which means we can go to any bar we want to, and we won't get in trouble! Well... Berry might get carded, but whatever."

"I resent that," Rachel retorted.

Kurt nodded his head in agreement. "Yes. Ever since I've gotten her to stop wearing the animal sweaters, Rachel has actually looked her age."

"Okay, I no longer like either of you." Rachel stood up and grabbed her phone and wallet. "I'm going for a walk. Call me when you guys figure out what you want to do tonight."

No one offered to go with her, which Rachel was thankful for. She just wanted a little bit of quiet time. It had really seemed as if she hadn't gotten a lot of time to just sit back and take it all in. Her friends were trying to keep her busy, which she was thankful for. But sometimes she just needed that space to figure things out a little bit.

Watching Finn with those kids the day before made Rachel feel as if she was seeing a glimpse of the Finn from high school. It was nice to see him relax for a little bit. She didn't know what had made her wrap her fingers around his, but she was glad that she had done it. And seeing him smile after she had signed his cast... It may have been small, but Finn Hudson's smile could still cause her heart to stop.

Her heart clenched painfully when she thought about the bad days that Finn was probably having. After finding out a little bit more about his condition from both Carole and Kurt, Rachel had done some research on PTSD. She knew that he had to be suffering from flashbacks and nightmares, and he was probably uncomfortable in certain situations. His emotions were volatile, and his temper flared more easily than it had before.

Rachel wished that there was some concrete, sure way to heal him—both physically and emotionally. Because, as it had before, watching Finn hurt caused Rachel to hurt, too. It had been five long years, and nothing had changed that. It still amazed her... and it scared her, too. She felt so connected to him that it was almost as if they had never been apart.

Rachel wasn't surprised to find herself coming upon the small park by her house. Back in high school, she had always visited when she just needed time to think. She headed to the old swing set and was surprised to find a familiar form leaning against it.

"Finn?"

Finn looked up at the sound of her voice. The setting sun highlighted the still healing bruises on the left side of his face, but it didn't detract from how attractive he was. He watched her with his amber eyes as she took a seat on one of the swings.

"Rachel," he finally said. "Hi."

Rachel kicked her feet on the ground and tried to make some small talk. "What are you doing here?"

Finn slowly meandered to the other swing and sat down. "Just wanted to take a walk. It's a nice night out. What about you?"

Rachel smiled. "I just had to get away from the craziness that was in my house for a while. Everyone is trying to figure out what to do tonight."

Finn forced himself to tear his eyes away from her smiling lips. Seeing Rachel Berry smile just made him feel so much better. To cover it up, he gave her a knowing look. "Kurt and Santana are driving you crazy, huh?"

"You could say that," Rachel said with a laugh. "I really should be used to it by now. I have lived with them for the past five years, after all."

Finn rocked a little bit on his swing, his long legs stuck out in front of him. The sound of her laughter rang in his ears and made his heart beat just a little bit faster. "So New York City. It must have been really great for you guys."

"It was definitely a learning experience," Rachel said.

Finn's brow furrowed. "What do you mean?"

"What?"

"Rach, NYADA was your dream school. New York is your dream city. That's where your dreams are, you know?"

Rachel studied Finn carefully. She remembered seeing this exact same look in his eyes five years ago—the look where he kept putting himself down. That look where he didn't expect himself to succeed. She had never understood why Finn felt that way about himself. Every time she looked at Finn Hudson, she saw an amazing man with a big heart.

He was a man that had done a few stupid things and made some mistakes, sure. But a man that learned from his mistakes and set out to do the right thing. And that's what made him one of the best people that Rachel knew.

"Yes, some of my dreams were there," Rachel said cryptically. Honestly, it wasn't that hard to figure out what she also meant, but she let the sentence hang. "But it wasn't exactly smooth sailing, Finn. Auditioning for shows were terrifying. School wasn't always a breeze. In fact, my first class my very semester was one of the hardest I've had."

"What class was that?" Finn had a hard time believing that it was a basic requirement course, since Rachel had the highest GPA of their graduating class. That left one of her major classes, but he couldn't see how that would be difficult for her, either. Rachel Berry was a triple threat when it came to performing, after all.

"It was my intro dance class," Rachel revealed.

Finn blinked in shock. "Really? Rach, you're one of the best dancers I know!"

Rachel gave him a smile. She couldn't help herself. That was the second time he had called her "Rach" that night. "That _you_ know, maybe. I'm certainly not a horrible dancer, but it's not exactly my strongest point." She chuckled a little when she thought of her freshman year at NYADA. "Let's just say that my instructor had a very different teaching style from Mr. Schue."

"Oh." Finn couldn't deny that he thought that Rachel had quickly excelled in New York. He sometimes forgot that it wasn't at all like Lima. Rachel had ended up going to a college where everyone was exactly like her. Obviously, Rachel had come out on top. Rachel Berry was born to be a star. A difficult freshman year certainly wasn't going to stop that from happening.

Rachel shrugged her shoulders and kicked her feet a little harder, sending her swing up into the air slightly. "I wouldn't trade it for anything," she said.

Finn got up from his swing only to walk behind Rachel. She followed him with wide eyes. When he stopped behind her, he held his good hand out, clearly asking for permission. Rachel stared at him for another moment before she nodded her head. Finn's large hand pushed gently on her back as he started her swing.

Finn picked up the conversation casually. "Really?"

Rachel nodded her head and tucked her legs in as Finn pushed her just a little bit higher. He didn't let her go too high, though. "The harder it got, the more determined I became to succeed."

Finn's lips lifted in a half smile, even though Rachel couldn't see it. "It obviously paid off."

Rachel glanced over her shoulder at him. "What do you mean?" She was beyond curious as to what he would say next.

"I heard—"

Before Finn could finish, Rachel's phone began to blare loudly. Finn caught her swing with one hand and slowed it to a stop as Rachel pulled her phone from her pocket.

"It's Kurt," she announced.

Finn groaned quietly and rested his forehead on the chain of the swing. There Kurt went again, ruining another moment between Finn and Rachel. He was going to take his phone away from him, too.

In his frustration, Finn didn't realize just how close he was standing to Rachel. But she certainly did. She tried to control her breathing as she answered the phone and listened to Kurt jabber in her ear. When she hung up, Finn still hadn't moved away. His eyes were closed and his head was pressed against the chain. She wondered if he had a headache.

"They figured out where to go tonight," Rachel said.

Once again, Rachel's voice pulled Finn from his thoughts. He opened his eyes, and then it suddenly occurred to him just how close he was to her. He was practically leaning over her shoulder, his chest curved around her back as he leaned against the chain.

Finn stared into her wide eyes. She stared right back. It would be so easy just to lean down and...

Rachel's phone buzzed with a text message at the same time that Finn's did. They both rolled their eyes when they saw who had sent them their respective messages.

"Santana told me to hurry up," Rachel said. Actually, the Latina had used much more vulgar language than that, but Rachel didn't really feel as if it was necessary to share that.

"Kurt wants to know if I want to go out with you guys tonight," Finn said. "Where did you decide to go, anyway?"

Rachel checked her phone again. "Some bar called Wet Willy's. According to Santana, it's more like a dance club than some dingy bar." Rachel obviously wasn't aware of the fact that Puck owned the bar, given the way that she reacted. She made a face and looked so classically high school Rachel Berry for a moment that Finn had to laugh. "Though I have no idea what kind of dance club would be called Wet Willy's. Wait a second. Did you just laugh?"

Finn looked just as surprised as Rachel sounded. The noise had escaped him without him thinking or even knowing about it, really. He actually had to think back just to be sure. Finn slowly nodded his head. That had been the first time that he had laughed—really, truly laughed—in two weeks.

"I think so," Finn said. He smiled at her, just as he had done yesterday.

In return, Rachel gave him her full, beaming grin. The pictures he had brought with him to basic training and on his deployments did absolutely no justice to a true Rachel Berry smile. The weight on his chest eased just a little bit more.

Rachel's phone buzzed again, but she ignored it. "You really should come with us tonight."

Finn looked down at his cast, felt the bandages wrapped around his shoulder and part of his neck. He really wanted to blend in, but he always felt that the blatant sign of his injuries didn't really help him do that. "You think?"

Rachel nodded her head. "Only if you feel up to it." She took a deep breath and decided to take that first step. Small, baby steps, but a step nonetheless. "I want you to come."

Finn didn't hesitate. "I'll be there."

* * *

"Oh good. You're back. Get your ass over here, because we only have a limited amount of time to dress you."

Rachel could only blink at Santana's rapid speech. "What?"

Santana rolled her eyes and pulled Rachel by her arm into her room. "Quinn has Kurt distracted, but it's only going to last for so long. Now hurry up and get dressed before he comes up here and tries to pick something else out."

Rachel rolled her eyes at her friend before she went to inspect the dress that the girls had picked out for her. It was black, one-shouldered, tight, and short. It had definitely come from Santana's closet.

"I'm serious. Go get changed. We're all going to look super hot tonight," Santana ordered.

Rachel didn't complain as she changed into the dress. This was not the first time that Santana, Brittany, and Quinn had talked her into wearing something. And she actually liked this dress. It was certainly tamer than some of the other things that had been picked out for her in the past.

When she was finished, Quinn and Brittany had joined Santana. They were already dressed to go out. Quinn was wearing a red tank dress, Santana had on a purple strapless mini, and Brittany had on a neon orange shirt that exposed one shoulder with a silvery skirt. Surprisingly, the ensemble worked for the blonde.

Her friends nodded approvingly. "Hot damn, Berry," Santana said. "We were right."

"Come over here so that I can do your hair," Quinn said, pointing to the chair she had dragged into Santana and Brittany's room. Rachel sat in the chair and gave her friends a suspicious look.

"Why are you all so insistent about dressing me up? And where is Kurt?"

"Oh, Blaine is distracting him with sex," Brittany supplied cheerfully.

Quinn quickly twisted Rachel's hair into a loose bun and pinned it to the nape of her neck, pulling out a few strategic strands. Quinn barely had time to nod her head in approval before Brittany was attacking her face with several makeup brushes.

"Guys, really?" Rachel spluttered. "I can do my own makeup and hair!"

"Oh, let us have some fun," Quinn said mildly.

"And hold still," Brittany added. "I don't want to poke your eye out."

Five minutes later, Rachel's look was complete with smoky eyes and some lip gloss. Santana had forced her into a pair of very high black stilettos. Rachel grabbed her clutch and went to go find Blaine and Kurt as the three girls discreetly high fived each other.

"Finnocence isn't going to know what hit him," Santana whispered as Quinn and Brittany nodded their heads in agreement.

* * *

Despite the somewhat dilapidated outward appearance of the bar, the inside was sleek and very modern. Neon lights flashed everywhere, and the dance floor was made up of different light-up squares. Most of the furniture had hard lines and were heavily accented by silver, but it worked.

The group of six made their way towards the bar. Santana quickly got the attention of the bartender; when he turned around, they were beyond surprised to find that it was Puck.

"Well hello there, Lopez," Puck said with a smirk. "Did you come back to re-experience the second best night of your life?"

Santana flipped her hair over her shoulder and greeted Puck with a matching smirk. "You wish, Puckerman. Now how about you get some shots up in here? I wants to get my drink on."

"Do you work here?" Blaine questioned.

"Hell no. I own this place."

Kurt gave Puck an incredulous look. "You didn't decorate this place yourself, did you?"

Puck tossed the rag he had been using to wipe down the bar at Kurt. He shrieked and jumped back while Puck sniggered. "I'll have you know, Petunia, that I'm such a badass that I can decorate a kick ass bar such as this. Try to contain your jealousy."

"This is a really lovely place you have, Noah," Rachel said. "I expected you to have a different kind of bar."

"Thanks, Berry," Puck said, but he grinned at her. "It's good to know that I have the approval of you fancy New York types."

"It's really amazing what you've done with this place, Puck," Quinn complimented.

Puck's eyes fell on Quinn and he stared at her for several long seconds. Santana, Brittany, and Rachel all exchanged knowing looks as Puck suddenly scrambled for a bottle of vodka. He placed six shot glasses on the bar and then looked up over their shoulders and grinned.

"Hudson!" he exclaimed. "These New Yorkers are about to do a shot. Want one?"

They all turned to see Finn approaching. He was wearing a pair of jeans and a dark sweater with the sleeves pushed up. It hugged his chest and his arms, and Rachel took in his appearance appreciatively. He joined them at the bar and nodded in greeting to them, saving a small smile for Rachel when his eyes fell on her. Then his eyes promptly widened as they swept up and down her body.

"I'll just stick with some water, thanks," Finn said.

Puck quickly filled their shot glasses and then got a glass of water for Finn. He poured a shot for himself, as well. He raised his glass and they got the hint, raising their own to his level as well. Even though all of New Directions hadn't yet been reunited fully, it didn't mean that the present members couldn't celebrate.

"To being fucking bad asses," Puck declared as their glasses clinked together.

Everyone rolled their eyes but drank to it nonetheless. Santana immediately deposited her empty shot glass on the bar and grabbed Brittany's hand, dragging her out to the dance floor. Kurt and Blaine soon followed, and Quinn held Puck's undivided attention. That left Finn and Rachel to hang out at the end of the bar.

Finn eyed the dance floor warily. Number one, he may have been able to creep silently around an armed complex without a problem, but he still couldn't dance for shit. And number two… the amount of people on the dance floor were a little disconcerting. The secluded corner of the bar was just perfect for him at that moment.

Rachel could have joined their other friends on the dance floor, but she chose not to. This was the perfect opportunity to spend more time with Finn. She could feel his eyes on her, and he hadn't really looked away from her since he had walked in. Of course, Finn had spent the majority of their time together simply looking at her, so she wasn't entirely sure if that was a good thing or not.

Finn, for his part, was having a hard time from keeping his mouth from hanging open. You could have knocked him over with a feather when he first saw her. Rachel's legs looked as if they went on forever, and the skin exposed at the top of the dress looked unbelievably smooth. She was gorgeous.

And Rachel was having a hard time keeping her eyes off of Finn, as well. She kept zeroing in on his forearms and the way his throat was exposed by the v-neck of his sweater. He just kept getting hotter.

"Do you plan on showing off some of those new dance moves you learned at school?" Finn asked.

That was the most playful thing he had said to her so far. "I'm not sure. I don't really have anything to entice me to the dance floor."

Finn glanced towards the dance floor again and scanned it. He wouldn't pass up a chance to dance with Rachel if she asked, but he wasn't crazy about going onto that floor. There were secluded corners of the bar, however, that were close enough to the dance floor but far away enough from the crowd of people.

Before Finn could think of a response, the track changed to some funky techno beat. The beginning of the song started with a series of several loud pops and Finn jumped, tensing immediately. His heart pounded loudly in his ears, and he was no longer in a bar in Lima, Ohio. He was back in the desert in Afghanistan, taking cover from gunfire.

"Finn! _Finn!_"

Finn pulled himself out of the unwanted memory to find Rachel standing pressed up against him due to the sudden flux of people around the bar. She had one hand on his chest and one on his arm. When she saw how his eyes re-focused, she immediately began to tow him out of the bar. Once they were outside, Finn took several gulps of fresh air.

"Are you okay?" Rachel asked softly.

"I think I'm just going to head home," Finn said in response. He dug around in his pockets for his keys, his hands shaking. But Rachel's hand on his arm stopped him once again.

"At least let me drive you home, Finn. One of us can bring you back around tomorrow so you can pick your truck up."

Finn really wanted to tell Rachel no. He really just wanted to be alone, but he could see the fierce determination flash in her eyes. He might as well quit while he was ahead and have her take him home. He nodded his head once and followed her to her car.

The ride back to Finn's house was silent. He was still so tense; it felt like he was fighting not to get sucked back into more memories. Despite driving him home, Rachel appeared to be even more worried as she pulled into the driveway.

"Are you sure that you're going to be okay?" Rachel whispered. She really didn't want to leave him alone, but it didn't seem like Finn was going to give her much of a choice.

"I'll be fine," Finn muttered. He just wanted a way for it to all go away. The problem was, there didn't seem to be a safe way to make that happen. He moved to get out of the car but stopped and turned to Rachel. He waited until her eyes connected with his again. "Thanks," he said softly.

Rachel gave him a soft smile, and the world seemed a little bit brighter. She reached out and squeezed his hand. "Anytime, Finn."

* * *

**Author's Note: Don't hate me for having Kurt interrupt Finn and Rachel again! Finn will open up to Rachel soon. He's just having a hard time with his emotions right now. And we're just about to get into the real heavy-duty Finchel. :) Thanks for reading!**


	11. raise your hopeful voice

**Author's Note: You guys are just so awesome. Thanks for all of the great reviews! Chocolatebroccol quite persistent in demanding another update, so how could I say no? Also, it's my birthday this week, so I'd love to hear what you guys think of this story! Enjoy! This chapter's title is from "Falling Slowly" by Glen Hansard.  
**

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything.**

* * *

Finn carefully pulled on a sweater and looked over his shoulder. It was still absurdly early in the morning, so no one should be up. Just in case, though, Finn cracked the front door open just enough for him to slip out and slowly shut the door behind him. He heard the lock click softly into place and gave the house a once-over just to be sure that no one had woken.

Satisfied, Finn headed to his truck. He would have walked, but his entire body was sore and he just felt tired. He kept the drive to his destination slow and leisurely; he wasn't exactly in a hurry to get there. That was another reason that he wanted to be sure no one was awake when he left. He didn't really want to explain where he was going.

Ten minutes later, Finn pulled into a parking lot. He got out of the car and stared at the scene in front of him. It was like something out of a movie. The graveyard had a thick layer of mist hanging over it in the early morning sun. It was completely empty; most people didn't like going to a graveyard so early in the morning. It was fine with Finn, however.

With a sigh, he pushed away from his truck and stuck his hands into his pockets. He followed a very familiar path, yet it was one that he hadn't taken in five years. He finally stopped in front of an old headstone and stared down at it.

_Christopher Hudson, Beloved Father and Husband_

Finn tried to understand. He really did. Finn had been in war, too. He had lain in that desert with the sun beating down on his back with his friends and comrades on either side of him. There had been times when he had escaped some pretty terrible things, and there were times when he hadn't been so lucky. He had done some things that he wasn't exactly proud of. Would he ever regret serving his country and protecting people? No. But killing should never be easy, and it would always linger in the back of his mind. Because he had killed. It had been in self defense, or to protect others. But it had still been done.

Even after all this time, Finn didn't know exactly what his father had gone through. He wasn't sure of what it had been that had caused Christopher Hudson to fall apart. Standing in front of his grave, Finn found himself wondering and trying his best to understand what had caused this man to lose it and leave his family. He refused to compare his own experience with his father's, because one wasn't worse than the other. They were equally horrifying. But no matter what had happened, Finn couldn't imagine himself succumbing to some type of substance to block out the pain.

Sure, he had thought about it. Not drugs, but drinking at least. It would have been so easy in the bar last night to take a shot. And then another, and another, and another... But then he thought of his father. The man who lost a wonderful wife and son because he had let the darkness take over. It had only been a little over two weeks since he had returned home, but Finn could feel that darkness creeping. He tried hard to push it away, tried to pretend like it didn't exist.

"Why?" Finn muttered down at the headstone. Red-hot anger surged through him and he reared back, kicking the headstone. Pain radiated through his foot, but Finn didn't feel it. "_Why?_"

Maybe ignoring that pain and fear wasn't the best way to handle this situation. Maybe that's what had happened to his father. He had tried to pretend like everything was normal. But Finn knew that he was far from normal. The last five years had changed him; the attack had an especially big impact. It was downright terrifying to think of facing those memories, but how could he move on and overcome it if he didn't? He refused to become his father. That thought alone gave him enough strength to consider asking for help.

His mother inspired him. Finn was so in awe of her. She had never once complained about raising a son all by herself or all the work that she had to do just to make sure they had something to eat. Finn may not have had every toy that he wanted, and he may have worn hand-me-downs, but he had never wanted for love and attention from his mother. She was there for every game or performance. She had taught him what it was like to be a man, even though he didn't have a father. She alone was enough of a reason to pull himself away from the darkness.

Then Finn thought about all of the other people in his life. Burt loved his mother dearly, and he had become a father-figure to Finn. He had been the strong one for all of them lately. And Kurt was his brother, plain and simple. There was no step anything. Finn felt guilty for all of the times he had snapped at Kurt, but he had understood. He backed off when Finn needed him to. And there was Puck, too. He was another person who had to live in the shadow of his father. But he had managed to overcome it and make something of himself. Puck really was a good guy.

And then there was Rachel.

Finn would do anything for her. If she asked him to do it, he would without hesitation. It had nearly killed him to let her go, but he had to do it. He was so afraid that he was going to hold Rachel back from her dreams, that she was going to end up with a life that she didn't really want. He had thought about her every day over the last five years. He still didn't feel as if he was good enough for her, but his heart was hers. And it always would be.

Finn's fists clenched, but he resisted the urge to kick the headstone again. His foot was finally starting to throb in pain, and it only served to make him even more angry and he cursed under his breath. He slowly crouched down in front of the grave, careful not to twist anything too much. Finn put one hand on top of the stone and stared at his father's name.

"I will not turn into you."

Finn stood up and turned his back on the headstone. He tried to force himself to relax, breathing in the crisp morning air. The sun was shining brightly now, and the sky was a bright, welcoming blue. Birds chirped pretty songs in the trees high above him.

Finn decided that when he got back to the house, he would call the therapist that the army had provided him with.

* * *

"Finn! Will and Emma are here!"

Finn climbed the stairs and walked slowly into the living room. This was the day that he was finally going to meet his goddaughter. He was excited and frightened at the same time; what if he wasn't good enough to be a godfather to the little girl? What if he was too broken?

Will met Finn by the entrance to the living room. He hugged him in greeting and gave Finn a warm, inviting smile. "She's going to love you," he assured, as if he knew what Finn was thinking.

The younger man nodded his head, even though he still didn't look entirely sure. He could hear his mother cooing as he walked into the living room. Emma beamed at him and then turned the little girl in her arms towards him.

"Do you remember who this is, sweetie?" Emma said. "We showed you some pictures."

Will knelt down next to his daughter and wife. "This is Mommy and Daddy's friend Uncle Finn."

Finn stared at Will and Emma with wide eyes. He was honored to have the title of uncle, but he hadn't even been aware that they wanted to refer to him that way to their daughter. The couple just grinned back at him and nodded their heads.

Finn crouched down so that he was on the same level as Paige. She was small and delicate like Emma, and had the same red hair as well. But it curled like Will's, and she had a chin like his. Just like with the kids in the summer camp, Finn couldn't help but smile at her. The little girl gave him a wide, unafraid smile back and held her arms out.

Finn blinked in surprise but held his arms out in return. Paige scrambled eagerly from her mother's lap and into Finn's, latching her arms around his neck.

"Hi Unca' Finn," she said with a giggle.

To his embarrassment, Finn kind of felt like he was about to cry. Instead, he gave her a genuine smile and hugged her. "Hi Paige."

Paige squirmed until Finn put her down. She picked up a little purple backpack and dug through it. She came back and climbed into Finn's lap again, unfolding a piece of paper and handing it to him.

"I made a picture for you!" she exclaimed. She pointed at the stick figures. "See? That's you, and that's me, and that's Mommy and Daddy." She pointed to another spot on the page, where there were a lot of little stick figures with a lot of yellow drawn around it. "And that's all of the other kids that Mommy and Daddy taught how to sing. They're on a stage!"

"That's a really good picture, Paige," Finn complimented. "Very pretty."

She clapped her hands together, clearly pleased with his response. Finn glanced up at the other occupants of the room. Burt had joined them and had his arms wrapped around Carol. His mother, for her part, looked like she was about to cry… but from happiness, this time. Will and Emma both just had smiles on their faces as they watched their daughter heal Finn just a little bit more.

"Wanna play a game with me?" Paige asked.

"Go ahead and go out back," Carol said. "We still have a little bit before dinner is ready."

Finn nodded his head and stood up, allowing Paige to latch on to him. "Sure," he said to the little girl. Once they were out of the room, Carol quickly hugged Will and Emma before heading back into the kitchen. Burt patted Will on the back and hugged Emma as well. Things were looking up with Finn.

* * *

As soon as Kurt swung the door open to the Hudmel house, he saw Will and Emma. He allowed Blaine, Quinn, Puck, Santana, Brittany, and Rachel to walk into the house past him before he shut the door and exclaimed, "Mr. and Mrs. Schue! I didn't know that you two were coming over for dinner tonight!"

"We thought that we would surprise everyone with a visit," Will said.

"Is Paige here?" Rachel asked. She had bonded with the little girl over the times they had seen each other at glee club practices.

"Paige is out back," Will answered. "With Finn."

"Really?" Kurt shot to the back door. He had yet to see Finn at the summer camp, but from what he had heard, it had really been helping him. He wanted to watch it firsthand-especially since the bar fiasco happened. Ever since that night, Finn had been quiet and withdrawn (Rachel had prepared for that fact by coming armed with more banana bread. It never failed).

Everyone else quietly followed and looked out the back window to see Paige running around the yard in circles. Finn couldn't exactly run, given how sore he was, but his strides were so long that he had no problem keeping up with Paige's little legs. She squealed when Finn caught her around the waist and flipped her upside down. Her new vantage point allowed her to see to the window, and she waved at the new audience that they had.

"We should probably call them up now," Carole said. "Dinner is ready, and Finn is due for a change of bandages."

"I'll go get them," Will offered.

"I'll help you in the kitchen, Mrs. Hummel- I mean, Carole," Rachel said. Carole told everyone else to start setting the table as she shooed them out of the kitchen. Rachel helped Carole put everything into some serving dishes as Finn, Will, and Paige came in. The little girl squealed as soon as she caught sight of her.

"Rachie! Rachie!" she exclaimed. She ran over and attached herself to Rachel's legs. "Unca' Finn and I played tag and catch and I showed him the picture I made for him. Wanna see it?"

"Of course!" Rachel said as she smiled down at the little girl. Paige ran over to the fridge, where Carole had put the picture on display for everyone to see. She stood on her tiptoes and stretched her arms over her head in her attempt to get the picture; even so, she was still far too short to reach it. After several more unsuccessful attempts, Paige quickly became impatient and crossed her arms, stomping her foot.

"Unca' Finn, the picture is too high!" she said petulantly. "Get it for me!"

"Paige Kayla Schuester," Will said in a mildly scolding voice. "What do you say?"

Paige suddenly became all big eyes and innocent smiles. "Please?" she added sweetly.

Finn chuckled and plucked the picture from the fridge. He handed it to Paige and she called out "Thank you!" as she ran back towards Rachel. Rachel knelt down so that she was on Paige's level and looked at the picture. The little girl pointed out everything in the picture, just as she had done earlier with Finn.

"I made Unca' Finn big because this is his picture," Paige explained. "But I made you a picture where you're big, Rachie!"

"It's a beautiful picture, Paige," Rachel said with a grin. She picked Paige up and walked back over to the fridge so that they could pin it up once again. Paige then turned to Finn, holding her arms out. She clearly wanted to go to him, and took it upon herself to leap from Rachel's arms to Finn's when he didn't react fast enough.

Rachel tried her best to keep a hold on Paige as she leapt forward. Thankfully, Finn was there to catch her, and the result was that the two ended up pressed against each other with Paige in between them. Rachel bit her lip and extracted her arms from the tangle of limbs. She smiled at Finn before she went back towards the stove, stirring the pot of chili that Carole had simmering.

"Come on, sweetie pie," Will said as he lifted Paige from Finn's arms. "Carole has to help Uncle Finn and you have to wash up for dinner."

Carole and Finn went downstairs, her arms laden with medical supplies. Rachel continued to stir the pot of chili and slapped Puck's hands away when he tried to sneak a bite. He pouted and went to be consoled by Quinn while Rachel fended off another attempt by Santana and then Blaine. They were all laughing at each other's antics when the phone rang.

Carole dashed back up the stairs and grabbed the phone. Before she answered, she turned to Rachel and said, "Dear, can you go downstairs and finish helping Finn with his bandages? It should only take a moment." She answered the phone before Rachel could answer and grabbed the spoon from her while simultaneously pushing her towards the stairs. Rachel, in her shock at the request, actually found herself going down the stairs.

Finn looked over his shoulder when he heard her approaching. His eyes widened when she took a seat next to him on the bed and picked up some of the bandages. Finn tried to turn his body from her, but Rachel followed until she was fully looking at his left side.

She couldn't help the gasp that escaped her. The burns, while healing, climbed up Finn's left side and wrapped around his shoulder and up his neck a little bit. His skin was raw and pink and still scabbing in some areas. Rachel bit down hard on her bottom lip and tried her best not to cry. If Finn was in any pain at all, he was doing a very good job at hiding it. He sat straight and tall as Rachel smoothed the bandages over his side and shoulder.

It didn't take her long to cover up Finn's wounds. But Rachel couldn't help herself from running her fingers over the bandages over and over again. She rationalized her actions by thinking that she had to make sure that the bandages didn't irritate him. Finn didn't seem to mind, as he didn't say anything.

Rachel's fingers soon moved from the rough bandages to the rest of Finn's back. She traced her fingers over the defined muscles in his back. Her fingers ghosted over his shoulders and down his right arm, where she traced the tribal tattoo that wound around his bicep.

Finn turned around suddenly. His eyes were dark as he leaned forward, sliding one had up her thigh, his warm breath whispering across her face.

"Rachel," he whispered.

Rachel grabbed the hand encased in the cast. "Finn," she breathed back, squeezing his fingers to let him know that it was okay. She wanted this. This was okay. This was right.

Finn moved closer to her while pulling her to him at the same time. Suddenly, the door to the basement creaked loudly as it swung open. Someone came down the first two steps but didn't go any further. There was another creak before Burt's voice reached them. "Finn? Rachel? Dinner is ready!"

Finn didn't move; neither did Rachel. After a pause, Finn called back, "We'll be up in a minute."

Burt retreated back up the stairs and shut the door behind him. Rachel and Finn stared into each other's eyes. Finn's large hand was now on her hip, and Rachel's fingers were still wrapped around his. When Finn had pulled Rachel towards him, she had ended up half in his lap, her legs overlapping with his. Finn's hand relaxed and smoothed down her thigh again.

"We should probably go upstairs," Rachel said after another moment. She really wanted this. But she'd be damned if this happened when everyone was waiting upstairs for them for dinner.

Finn sighed. "Yeah, probably." He gently squeezed Rachel's thigh, causing shivers to shoot up her spine, adding to her already heightened sensitivity due to the fact that his hand had been all over her thigh. He released her and reached for his shirt, gingerly pulling it over his head.

They walked towards the stairs together, and then Finn allowed Rachel to climb up before him. Before she opened the door, Rachel whipped around and grabbed Finn's good hand between both of hers.

"Finn... would it be alright if I came over tomorrow?"

Finn nodded his head, his eyes boring into hers. "Sure."

She smiled and squeezed his hand before opening the door.

* * *

**Author's Note: Yay for Finchel! It's officially starting. :) Thanks for reading!**


	12. turn into something beautiful

**Author's Note: I'm so glad that you all enjoyed the last chapter! This was one of my favorites to write, so I hope you like it as much as I do. As always, thank you for the amazing reviews. The flashback is in italics. This chapter title is from "Yellow" by Coldplay.  
**

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything.**

* * *

_Finn knocked on the door to the Berry household. His heart was pounding loudly in his ears and his palms were sweaty. He wiped them on his pants and took several deep breaths. He had just come back from meeting with the army recruiter; he had signed his papers. Finn Hudson was now an official member of the U.S. Army._

_ The door swung open to reveal Hiram Berry. He gave Finn a kind smile but didn't step aside to let him in. "Hello, Finn! I'm sorry, but Rachel isn't here right now. I think that she's out with Kurt, actually."_

_ "I know." Finn wiped his hands on his jeans again. "I actually came to talk to you and Mr. Berry, if you don't mind."_

_ Hiram's brow furrowed in concern, but he allowed Finn to come into the house. He called for his husband, and they all met in the kitchen. Finn sat on one side of the island while Hiram and Leroy sat on the other. They regarded each other for several long moments as Finn tried to gather his thoughts. He kind of felt like he was about to throw up._

_ "Son, what do you want?" Leroy asked, but not unkindly. "Is it something with the wedding?"_

_ Finn couldn't help but notice how both Leroy and Hiram sort of stiffened at the word. "No. Well, kind of." He cleared his throat. "I just came back from a meeting with the army recruiter."_

_ Hiram and Leroy exchanged unreadable looks. "Why?"_

_ Finn took a deep breath. "I just signed my papers."_

_ There was a long moment of silence. Hiram and Leroy openly gaped at Finn, completely at a loss for words. Finn stared back at them. There was much more that he had to say, but he wanted to give the two men in front of him a chance to respond before he did._

_ Hiram cleared his throat. "Did you, ah… Did you and Rachel talk about this?"_

_ Finn shook his head. "No."_

_ Leroy slammed a closed fist down on the table. Hiram jumped, but Finn didn't. "What were you thinking? I thought you wanted to marry Rachel! I thought you loved her!"_

_ "I do!" Finn yelled. He took a deep breath and tried to calm himself down. "I do love Rachel. I love her. And that's why I had to do this."_

_ Hiram slowly shook his head from side to side. He looked as if he was still trying to grasp the situation. "I don't understand."_

_ Finn dragged his hands through his hair. He suddenly felt like he was going to cry, but he held back the tears. "I can't let Rachel give up her dreams, Mr. and Mr. Berry. She's been working her entire life to make it to Broadway. I can't let her stay here because of me. I would never forgive myself for holding her back." Unbidden, the tears came to his eyes and he blinked hard. He took another deep, shuddering breath and stood up._

_ "After graduation tomorrow, you're going to go to New York. Then, when Rachel thinks that we're going to go to the wedding… I'm going to take her to the train station." Several tears rolled down Finn's cheeks anyway, despite his best efforts. "And I'm going to put her on the train to New York." He turned to face the two men fully. "I know that you didn't approve of my marrying Rachel. But I love her so much, and all I ever wanted was to make her happy. There was one thing I knew that I would be doing in my life, and that was loving Rachel Berry. This is what Rachel needs, even if she doesn't know it right now. And I'm sorry if you thought that I was going to keep her from that. I just…" Finn swallowed hard and rubbed his fists in his eyes, but it was no use. The tears kept coming, and his heart broke. "I love her so much."_

_ Hiram stood up and joined Finn on the other side of the island. He put a hand on Finn's shoulder before he pulled him in for a hug. "We know that you love her, Finn," he said. Tears were shining in his eyes, and Finn didn't know how much more of this he could take._

_Leroy got up to hug Finn as well. He was no longer fuming with anger. Instead, he looked heartbroken, for both Finn and his daughter. "We are honored to have you as a son-in-law," he said. Finn didn't miss Leroy's use of the present tense, but he didn't comment on it as the older man continued to speak. "And I know that you're going to be back for her."_

_Finn didn't know what to say and soon left after that. All he could on the car ride home was cry. Even though he knew he was doing the right thing, that didn't make it any easier._

* * *

"Hey."

Finn lifted his pillow off of his face and sat up enough to see Kurt standing at the bottom of his steps. He tucked the pillow back behind his head and motioned for Kurt to come over. "Hey."

His brother sat on the side of the bed. "I feel like we haven't really talked since you came back."

Finn shrugged his good shoulder. "We haven't."

Kurt exhaled slowly before he suddenly said, "I'm sorry."

Finn sat up more. "What?"

"I'm just… I'm sorry." Kurt shook his head and fingered the broach he had pinned to his shirt. "I've been hard on you since you've come back—especially where Rachel is concerned. It's just… I remember what she was like five years ago, Finn. I can't let her get like that again."

"Kurt, I did the right thing." The dream that Finn had just woken up from only cemented that statement in his mind. The dream, while it hadn't been like the flashbacks of his time in Afghanistan, was a different kind of nightmare. Frankly, he would have preferred if he didn't have either.

"But there were so many other ways—"

"Kurt. I don't want to talk about this right now," Finn said firmly. He wasn't entirely sure that he would ever be ready to talk about it, honestly.

"Okay." For once, Kurt backed off the subject. That didn't mean that he wasn't determined to find out, because he definitely was—he was just going to have to be a bit more careful about how he approached it. He decided to totally drop it for now, at any rate. "So, Finn. Tell me about what's going on in your life right now?"

Kurt expected Finn to give him an incredulous look and brush the question off. Instead, to his surprise, Finn sat up completely and rubbed the back of his neck. He looked down at his hands and said, "Rachel is coming over today."

"Really?" Kurt tried to keep his voice as neutral as possible. "Why?"

"Well… some things happened and I… we—"

"Oh God. Please don't tell me that the two of you already slept together!"

"Kurt!"

The shorter man didn't shrink back under the strength of his brother's glare. Instead, he matched it with a stare of his own. "What? I know how the two of you are, okay?"

"Christ, Kurt." Finn rubbed a hand over his face. "It's good to know that you're still overly-dramatic after all this time. And no, we didn't sleep together. And you've been a total cock block anyway, with all of your badly-timed phone calls." Flashes of Rachel's smooth thigh and exposed shoulders and neck ran through his mind, but he tried to push them away. "But… I guess we almost kissed."

"You _guess_?"

Finn shrugged his good shoulder again. "It could have happened."

Kurt studied his brother for a long moment before he jumped up. "I'll be right back!" he declared before he raced up the stairs. Finn stared after him, a mildly amused look on his face. A few minutes later, Kurt came back down the stairs, balancing a tall cup of milk on a tray. He had a plate with two slices of Rachel's banana bread on it, too. When Kurt pushed the glass into Finn's hands, he found that it was warm. He looked up at his brother and smiled.

"I know it's not the same as our late night chats," Kurt said, returning his smile. "But I figured early morning isn't a bad trade off. Now tell me. Did Rachel offer to come over, or did you ask her to?"

"She offered," Finn answered. He took a sip of the warm milk before he broke off a piece of the banana bread. He really had missed this. "I don't want to push her, you know?" He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, looking down at the banana bread. He remembered another time, a time that felt like it had been another life, when Rachel had brought him loaves of that bread. "I think it's obvious that I still love her. I always will, and I'll never stop. It's up to Rachel, now."

Kurt was watching Finn with an amazed look in his eyes. "You really have changed, haven't you?" Finn stiffened, but Kurt held his hands up. "Not in a bad way, Finn. You're not afraid to say what needs to be said."

Finn gave Kurt a small, sad smile and shrugged his shoulder again—his go-to response when he wanted to avoid answering something. Kurt patted his hand and gave him an encouraging smile.

"I'm not going to try and tell you what to do with Rachel, Finn," Kurt said. "That's up to you. Just know that I'll be here for you—both of you. It's not the same, but I know a little bit about what you're going through."

Finn frowned. "What do you mean?"

Kurt sighed and smoothed out his sweater. He looked up at Finn before quickly looking away again. "There was something that I didn't tell you." Finn and Kurt had tried to keep in contact as much as they could over the past five years. The contact had been somewhat sporadic, since Finn only had scheduled times when he could talk and Kurt tried not video chat with him when Rachel was around. So it had been easy for both of them to keep certain things from each other.

Kurt decided to just come right out and say it. "Blaine and I broke up during his freshman year at NYU."

Finn could only blink at Kurt in surprise. "What?"

Kurt nodded his head. Everything had worked out in the end, but it was still a painful time to talk about. "Yes. Blaine was busy with school, I was busy with the internship, and things just… changed. We were apart for almost two years." Kurt smiled at his brother to show him that everything was okay. "We grew and learned from it. I think it helped us realize who we were as people, instead of as a couple. We met up at a party when he was getting ready to go into junior year and everything just clicked once again. Things have been great since then."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Finn asked quietly.

Kurt patted Finn's hand again. "Finn, you had your own heartache to deal with. And while there were similarities, it was different from mine. I wasn't about to unload all of my problems on you."

"But I—"

"Finn. It's over and done with now. I promise I'll share every detail of my life with you from now, if it means that much to you."

"It does," Finn said seriously, but then he smiled. He didn't like the idea of his brother keeping things from him just because he thought he was too fragile. Brothers were supposed to help each other with their problems, right?

Kurt stood up and cleared their used plate and Finn's empty glass. "I'll make sure the house is clear when Rachel comes over later today," he said. "And I'll be down in a few minutes to help you pick something to wear."

Finn groaned. "Kurt—"

"No. You are not arguing with me on this, Finn Hudson. Resistance is futile. Honestly, you should know that by now."

* * *

Finn paced nervously back and forth as he waited for Rachel to arrive. He was wearing jeans and a gray sweater that Kurt had managed to dig out from his closet. Kurt had also tried to light a million candles throughout the house, but Finn refused to do it. He wasn't even entirely sure himself where this conversation would be headed tonight, so he wasn't about to pressure Rachel with an obviously romantic atmosphere.

He couldn't help but pick up a pink tulip for her, however. It was Rachel's favorite flower, and he figured it definitely couldn't hurt if he had at least one there (he had, however, caught Kurt trying to sneak in three bouquets of the tulips. They were currently stashed in Kurt's room). He shook his head and tried to calm himself down. He felt like he was back in high school all over again.

On the other side of the front door, Rachel was doing just about as well as Finn was. Something had changed over the past couple of days. The feelings had always been there—they had never left—but Rachel found herself opening her heart to Finn Hudson once again. And the more she thought about it, the more she felt like she was coming home, because home wasn't a place. It was Finn.

Rachel stood up a little straighter and took a deep breath, her mantra ringing in her ears. She was Rachel Berry, and she could do this.

Rachel raised a hand and knocked on the door. It swung open a moment later, revealing a Finn who looked quite dapper. His hair was disheveled and his whiskey eyes were bright as he stepped aside to let her in.

"You look beautiful," Finn blurted. Great. Of all times, now was when his word vomit chose to make a reappearance?

Rachel's cheeks flushed pink as she looked down at the simple green sundress she wore. Kurt had tried to dress her in something much fancier, but she had managed to escape. "Thank you," she said. Her eyes slowly moved up and down his body, finally letting herself fully appreciate his appearance. The worn jeans fit him well, and the sweater he wore was like a glove. "You look great, too."

Finn rubbed the back of his neck. "Do you... want something to drink?"

Rachel smiled at him, trying to ease his nerves. He smiled back at her, his shoulders relaxing. "Water is fine," she answered. "Do you need any help?"

"Nah, I've got it." Finn gestured around the house. "Make yourself at home. I'll be back in a minute."

Taking Finn's suggestion to heart, Rachel walked slowly through the living room, reacquainting herself with the Hudmel house once again. Her eyes lingered on the spot in front of the fire place, but she forced herself to look away. She continued into the dining room and found herself by the doors leading out onto the back deck.

She stepped out onto the deck and let the warm night air envelope her. It was one of those perfect summer nights, with a breeze gently ruffling the trees above her. Rachel tilted her head back and looked up at the star-filled sky.

That was one thing that she had missed about Lima. In New York, there were so many lights everywhere. Here, though, it was like the sky had exploded with stars. For the first time in years, her hand flew to her neck as she felt for a necklace that was no longer there. She hadn't worn the star necklace Finn gave to her their junior year in a very long time.

Thinking of that star made Rachel think about another star—the one that Finn had given her for Christmas. It was probably the best gift she had ever received, even if she hadn't fully appreciated it at the time. Tears unexpectedly burned in her eyes and she took another deep breath. Finn was here with her again. They had found their way back to each other, just like he had said. The entirety of it hit her in that moment, and she felt a happiness that she hadn't experienced in five years expand in her heart.

The door to the deck opened and closed. Finn's footfalls were quiet now, instead of lumbering, but she could still pick them out anywhere. He put two water bottles on the railing as Rachel turned to face him. When he caught sight of the shine in her eyes, his brow furrowed in concern.

"Rach," he asked as he placed his good hand on her cheek. His thumb moved in soothing circles over her smooth skin. "What's wrong?"

Rachel slid her hand over his and held it to her face, leaning into his touch. Her voice was quiet but strong as she spoke, and her eyes looked to the sky before falling back to Finn. "When you said that you would always watch over me... did you mean it?"

Finn knew what she was talking about. The hand he had encased in the cast came up to press against Rachel's hip, and he tugged her gently towards him. He did it slowly, so she would have ample chance to push him away. She didn't.

Finn leaned down until his lips were hovering just above Rachel's. His eyes stayed connected to hers, and he slid his fingers into her hair as her tiny hands came up to grip his shirt. She still didn't push him away—in fact, she pulled him closer.

"Always," he whispered.

Rachel closed the gap between them and pressed her lips to his.

For once, it felt as if everything in the world was in its right place. Their lips moved gently together, getting used to that still familiar dance all over again. Finn kept a gentle hold on Rachel, but she was fisting his shirt tightly, holding on to him.

A few moments later, they broke apart. Rachel's eyes drifted open, but she didn't loosen her hold. It was almost as if she thought he would run away, or something.

"Please don't leave again," she whispered.

Finn ran his hand through her hair before he reached into his pocket and pulled out the single pink tulip. He watched her eyes light up as he tucked the flower into her hair and he smiled down at her. Finn pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead as Rachel's arms snaked around his neck and held him close to her.

Finn bent so he could whisper in her ear. "I'm not going anywhere."

* * *

**Author's Note: Yay for more Finchel! I promise that this story isn't ending anytime soon. Finn and Rachel still have some things to talk about. Also, don't kill me for the brief Klaine break-up. I love them together, and since it happened before this story started, it was like it didn't even happen, really. I just thought it would be nice to have Kurt be able to understand what Finn was going through on some level. Thanks for reading, and let me know what you all think!**


	13. let your troubles fall behind you

**Author's Note: Thanks for all of the great reviews from last chapter! I really appreciate it. This chapter title is from the song "Little Wonders" by Rob Thomas.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own it.**

* * *

Rachel looked around before she grabbed Finn's hand and tugged him around the corner of the house. Finn only had time to smile before Rachel was sliding a hand around the back of his neck and tugging his mouth down to hers. His hands came to rest on her hips as he gently tugged her against him.

Rachel slowly kissed him as she twisted her fingers in his hair. His tongue slid into her mouth, and Rachel pressed herself closer to Finn in return. Several long moments passed with the pair exchanging slow, deep kisses before they finally broke apart.

"Hi," Rachel finally managed, her voice breathy.

Finn smiled down at her as he cupped her cheek and ran his calloused thumb along her cheekbone. "Hi," he said in return.

Rachel pressed her face into his chest. "I've wanted to do that since we first got here." They had arrived at the Hudson-Hummel house to prepare for the Fourth of July block party that was taking place the next day. Aware of the eyes on them, Finn and Rachel only exchanged a simple greeting. They had both been itching for some private time to properly greet each other.

Only twenty-four hours had passed since they had first kissed again. They hadn't tried to name whatever it was that they were doing, but Rachel thought it was pretty safe to say that they were well on their way to dating. As much as she wanted to jump in head first, she knew that it probably wasn't the best for either of them. One of the two things that they had decided on the night before was that they wanted to spend more time together, just the two of them. And if they exchanged a few—or numerous (or, okay, many)—kisses while together, than that just made it all the more better.

"I'm surprised they left you alone for this long," Finn said as he smoothed a hand over her hair. "It's been more than thirty seconds, after all."

"Very funny," Rachel said. She had gotten off easy the night before. When she had returned from her night with Finn, Quinn was out with Puck, and both Santana and Brittany and Blaine and Kurt had gone out for dates. Rachel had been able to go to bed and avoid any questions. The other thing she and Finn had agreed on was that they wanted to keep their relationship quiet for the moment. It was important for them to just get used to one another again, to have that time together without their friends (however well-meaning they may be) breathing down their necks.

This morning, however, had been a completely different story. Kurt and Santana were relentless with their questions. Blaine was even gently prodding for details, and Brittany had flat out asked if they slept together yet. The only reason she had been spared from Quinn was because she spent the night with Puck. But that didn't stop her from asking Rachel questions when they saw each other at the Hudmel house.

Kurt had tried to corner Finn as soon as he had arrived, as well. But they both had managed to avoid the questions and brushed them off as casually as they could. They didn't know how much longer it could last, so they were going to enjoy it while they could.

"I think we're going to get some ice cream when we're done setting up here," Rachel said. "Do you want to come with us?"

Except for football camp, Finn hadn't really left the house since the incident at the bar. Thinking of the big Fourth of July party the next day, he had pretty much decided to stick close to his house. Finn tightened his arms around Rachel and contemplated her request. The last couple of days had been pretty good, and he knew that it had something to do with the tiny brunette in his arms. She had been able to calm him down at the bar, so he knew that, if worse came to worse, she could do it again. Not that he wanted her to, since he would really prefer it if he didn't have random flashbacks in the middle of a public place. Still, he was glad that he had Rachel there.

"Sure," Finn said after a long moment of deliberation.

Rachel squeezed his hand and tilted her head back to look him in the eyes. "Finn, you don't have to if you don't want to."

"Thanks, Rach," he said. "But I think I'll be okay. Besides, my shrink says that I'll never know what my limits are if I don't try, so..." He shrugged his good shoulder. He had had his first session with his therapist before Rachel had come over the day before. It hadn't been easy, and there had been a lot of long pauses and not a whole lot of detail on Finn's part, but he had scheduled another appointment for the next week.

Rachel reached up and caressed his face with her small hands. Her fingers gently skirted over his fading bruises, and then she brought his face down. She pressed her lips to his bruises and gently brushed them over the cut on his hairline before pressing a soft kiss to his lips.

"You're so brave, Finn," she whispered when she pulled away.

Finn leaned down to kiss her again in response, because he wasn't sure he could find any words. He deepened the kiss, and another few blissful moments passed before they heard Quinn calling Rachel's name. Finn and Rachel broke apart, their foreheads pressed together as they tried to catch their breath. When Quinn's voice reached them once again, Rachel sighed and they let go of each other.

"I'll see you around?" Finn asked. That was certainly a loaded question. He was subtly asking her if this wasn't going to be just a one-day sort of thing. He wanted to be sure that she wasn't going to run away again. Rachel reached out and squeezed his hand reassuringly. She wasn't going to run away ever again, and she never should have in the first place.

Rachel gave Finn one of the mega-watt Rachel Berry smiles. That incredibly happy feeling spread through her chest again. She loved how sweet he was being, and it made her love him that much more. "You can count on it."

Finn grinned right back at her.

* * *

"Remember to use protection!" Santana called after Quinn and Puck as they ran off to find somewhere to make out... again. They hadn't been able to keep their hands off each other all day. "I'm happy for them, and all, but the rest of us don't need to see it."

"Come on, Santana," Blaine said. "That relationship is seven years in the making, right?"

Kurt nodded their head. "Now that Puckerman's got his head out of his ass... mostly, anyway, and Quinn's not a crazy bitch, they can actually have a real relationship."

"I knew it," Rachel claimed. "I told her before we graduated that I had always imagined her and Noah together."

"Seriously, though," Santana said. "They better not be doing anything freaky in that car. We have to drive back in that thing, you know."

While everyone else laughed, Rachel casually drifted towards Finn. She allowed her fingers to brush against his for a brief moment, and he looked down at her and smiled. She smiled right back at him, because she was just so happy that he was feeling better.

"How are you doing?" she asked.

"I'm good," Finn said. And he really was. There had been no loud, sudden noises, no huge crowds of people, and no one unexpected had come up behind him. The night was warm and quiet, and he was back with his closest friends. "The ice cream is good, the company is good..." Finn brushed his fingers against hers once again. "There's not a whole lot I can complain about."

Rachel beamed at him, pleased with his progress. They didn't notice Santana, Brittany, Kurt, and Blaine looking over their shoulders and watching the pair every now and then. Things definitely weren't perfect yet, but they were pretty darn good. So much progress had been made on everyone's part. Things really were looking up.

"Coach Finn! Hey, Coach Finn!"

They all turned to find a little boy running excitedly towards them. His parents were chasing after him, but the little boy got to Finn well before his parents did. He tugged on Finn's shorts when he got there. "Hiya, Coach Finn!"

Finn chuckled and crouched down so he was more on the five year old's level. "Hey, Spencer! What's up?" He held his hand out for a high five, and Spencer jumped in his excitement to deliver it to him.

"Me and my mommy and my daddy and my baby brother just got some ice cream," Spencer explained as he pointed back to his parents, who had just reached them.

"That is so cool," Finn said. "We just got some ice cream, too. What flavor did you get?"

"Rocky Road, 'cause that's the best."

Finn nodded his head in agreement, and Spencer grinned at him. "It definitely is." He stood up then and ruffled Spencer's hair before holding his hand out to greet his parents. "Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Harrington."

"Hello, Coach Hudson," Mr. Harrington said as he shook Finn's hand. "It's good to see you again."

Mrs. Harrington held another toddler in her arms. Finn waved to the little boy, and he giggled and waved back. "We tried to stop him, but he was just so excited," she said.

Finn shook his head and smiled down at Spencer, who was still bouncing around. He was currently asking Kurt why he was wearing such a weird hat. Santana instigated further by standing behind Kurt and making funny faces.

"It's okay, Mrs. Harrington," Finn assured. "It's not a big deal."

"Spencer has really been enjoying the football camp, Coach Hudson," Mr. Harrington said. "He can't stop talking about it."

Mrs. Harrington nodded her head in agreement. "He just loves it so much. He says that you're his favorite coach."

Finn's eyes lit up, and he looked as if he couldn't quite believe what the two parents were saying. "Really?"

"Really." Mrs. Harrington smiled. "He really looks up to you, Coach Hudson."

Just then, Spencer ran back up to Finn. He tugged on his shorts until Finn bent down to his level once again. "Coach Finn, Brittany said you were like a super hero. Is that true?"

Finn's cheeks turned red. "Uh... not exactly."

Spencer shrugged before he grinned. "I don't care. You're still the best football coach I ever had and you're totally awesome. I wanna be just like you when I grow up!"

Rachel pressed a hand to her mouth. It had to have been one of the sweetest things she had ever seen. Finn sort of looked like he was about to cry and completely and utterly disbelieving at the same time. Spencer hugged him around the legs, and Finn patted his head in response. Mrs. Harrington shared a smile with Rachel as she told Spencer that it was time to go. The little family said their goodbyes and went on their way.

Finn still looked dumbstruck, and Blaine patted him on the back. "Way to go, Coach Finn," he said.

Kurt nodded his head in agreement. He was so proud of his brother, and not just for this; he knew that Finn had gone to a therapist yesterday, and Kurt believed that it showed just how much strength Finn really had. "He really looked up to you, Finn."

When everyone else turned around to continue walking towards the car, Rachel slid her hand into Finn's and squeezed. "You're his hero, Finn."

Finn looked as if he didn't quite believe that, but he returned Rachel's smile and squeezed her hand back.

* * *

"Hey Mom."

Carole looked up in surprise as Finn slowly approached the kitchen table and sat down. He gave her a hesitant smile, and Carole thought it that it was so beautiful that she almost started crying. But she held it in, because Finn had seen enough of her crying lately.

"Finn," she said. She didn't want to scare him away by being too eager, but she was just so happy that he was trying to talk to her. "How was your day?"

Another smile, this one slow and happy, appeared on his face. There was a twinkle in his eye that Carole hadn't seen in years. In fact, the last time she had seen it, Finn had been with Rachel. The thought suddenly occurred to her, but Carole tried not to freak out too much. The last thing she wanted was to scare Finn away.

"It was a good day," Finn said. "We went out for ice cream. It was… fun."

Carole nodded her head. She wanted to ask more questions, but she was afraid to ask the wrong one. The same thing used to happen with Chris. As much as she knew that Finn wasn't going to end up like Chris (he had already proved that on many occasions), Carole was still afraid to say or do the wrong thing.

Finn had always been an insightful person, and was great at reading people. Despite everything that happened, that hadn't seemed to change. He reached over and covered Carole's hand with his good one and squeezed reassuringly.

"It's okay, Mom," he said softly. "I just… I wanted to say thank you."

Carole's eyes filled up with tears anyway, despite her best efforts. She blinked and sniffled and refused to cry, because she wanted to be strong, too. For Finn and for herself. "For what, Finny?"

Finn smiled at his old childhood nickname. "You're just… you're amazing, Mom. And you've helped me so much, even if you didn't know it. You make me want to be a better person. I just wanted you to know that."

Carole pressed a hand to her mouth. She was absolutely speechless, and was just that much more proud of her baby boy. "Oh, Finn."

Finn gave her that half smile—the one he got from his father—and leaned forward to hug her. Carole hugged him back tightly and felt as if she was finally getting her little boy back.

* * *

**Author's Note: I thought I'd throw some Finchel fluff in here, because God only knows when we're going to get that again. Thanks for reading! Also, shameless plug: I have a new story up. It's my attempt at a Finchel-prompt, and I'd really appreciate it if you could all check it out and tell me what you think. It's called **_**Steady Your Hand**_**. Thanks!**


	14. be my breath so i can walk

**Author's Note: Thanks for all of the amazing reviews! I'm glad that you're all enjoying this story so far. :) This chapter's title is from "Bent" by Matchbox Twenty. The song used in this chapter is Hallelujah by Rufus Wainwright.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own it.**

* * *

Rachel took the sparkler that Santana offered her but didn't light it yet. Instead, she grabbed another one and made her way over to Finn. He was holding Paige, and she was giggling as he helped to clean the ice cream off of her little face.

Rachel handed the sparkler to Finn and then she lit both of them. Paige's eyes went wide with fascination and she reached out, but Finn held his sparkler away from her.

"No, Paige," he said gently. "It's hot. Just watch."

Paige did as she was told and watched as both Finn and Rachel twirled the sparklers through the air until they fizzled out. Paige clapped her hands together and squealed.

"Again! Again!"

Finn let out a chuckle and threw the used sparklers away. "No can do, sweet pea," he said. "We have to go find your daddy. The fireworks will be starting soon."

"Fireworks!" Paige repeated excitedly. She held her hand out to Rachel, who slid two fingers into her grasp. It didn't take long for them to find Will, and they passed his daughter off to him. She waved at Finn and Rachel over Will's shoulder with both hands. Rachel beamed up at Finn and slipped her hand into his.

"You're so good with her," she said.

Finn lifted his good shoulder but gave her a half-smile anyway. He lifted her hand to his mouth and brushed his lips across her knuckles. From out of nowhere, he produced a pink tulip and tucked it into the neckline of her dress.

Rachel beamed and touched the pretty bulb. Finn Hudson sure was a charmer. "Where do you keep getting these?"

Finn smirked (He actually smirked! And damn, was it sexy) and leaned down to brush his lips over her forehead. "I have my ways." He wasn't about to tell her that he was still stuck with three bouquets of the tulips, courtesy of Kurt. But he did like the idea of randomly pulling them out and giving them to Rachel when she least expected it.

Rachel stood on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek. "Well thank you very much, Mr. Hudson."

Brittany broke through all of the people milling around them then, but neither Finn nor Rachel made a move to let go of each other's hands. Brittany beamed at them and twirled in a tight circle, the red, white, and blue ribbons fluttering in her hair.

"The fireworks are starting now!" she exclaimed. "We have a really good spot."

Finn tensed, his fingers tightening around Rachel's. She gave him a worried look and bit her lip, but waited to see if he would say something. It was up to Finn if he wanted to stay outside for the fireworks; she couldn't make that decision for him.

Finn took a deep breath through his nose. "I think I'm going to go inside," he finally said. "Just for a little bit."

It was another one of those times when Brittany understood and didn't need an explanation. She squeezed Finn's shoulder and smiled at them before she skipped off. Finn and Rachel walked back towards his house with their fingers intertwined. Before they could go into the house, Finn tugged Rachel to a stop.

"You don't have to stay with me," he said. "I'll understand if you want to go watch the fireworks."

Rachel stood on her tiptoes once again and snaked a hand around to the back of his neck, pulling him down to her. She kissed him lightly on the lips before she pulled back and smiled. "I want to stay with you."

* * *

"Did you find Berry and Frankenteen?" Santana asked as she greeted her girlfriend with a kiss. She tugged Brittany down until she was sitting next to her and then curled up under her arm, throwing one of her legs over the blonde's. Brittany leaned back against their cooler and nodded her head.

"Yup, I found them! But Finn decided he wanted to go inside. He doesn't like the fireworks, which is okay, because Lord Tubbington doesn't like them either."

Everyone else shared a knowing look. Quinn, who was leaning back against Puck's chest, asked, "Is Rachel coming to watch with us?"

"Nope," Brittany answered. "She stayed with Finn."

Puck let out a wolf whistle. "Way to go, Hudson."

Everyone else just smiled as the first firework was set off.

* * *

They could still clearly hear the fireworks going off above them, but the sound was muted. Finn relaxed just slightly, but he looked as if he was still trying to fight against whatever inner demons he had. Rachel desperately wanted to distract him from his surroundings, and she looked around his room in an attempt to find something to talk about.

Luckily, she didn't have to look very hard. Over in one corner, there was a large mass covered by a white sheet. Rachel's brow furrowed at the slightly familiar shape of the mass before she made her way over to it. She could feel Finn's eyes following her, but he didn't say anything to stop her as she pulled the sheet off.

Rachel gasped when she saw Finn's destroyed drum set. It had been completely ripped apart. The metal of the stands and the drums itself were all warped and bent, and Rachel could see that the drumsticks had also been broken in half.

"Finn," Rachel whispered. "What happened?"

Finn had to strain to hear Rachel's voice, taking his focus off of the fireworks. He got off his bed and slowly walked towards her. When he stopped next to her, he pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and pointer finger as a quiet sigh escaped him.

"There are times when I just feel so... _angry_," Finn whispered. "And I don't... I don't know how to stop it. Or control it. I let it get the best of me." He gestured to the ruined drum set with the hand encased in a cast, as if he were proving his point. His voice got low and dark. "Rach, I don't know if I'll ever be able to play drums the way I did before."

Rachel's heart broke for Finn all over again. The drums had been such an important part of his life, even before he had joined the glee club. They had always been a stress reliever; beyond that, Rachel knew that Finn felt as if playing the drums was one of the only things he was actually good at (Which, of course, was not true. Finn just refused to see that).

"You don't know that," Rachel said. She reached for his hand, interlacing their fingers.

"Rachel." Finn shook his head, but he didn't let go of her hand.

Even though Rachel knew the answer to the question, she felt as if she had to ask it anyway. "How did this happen?"

Finn looked at Rachel, but he didn't' say anything. Instead, the answer was clear in his eyes; he had done it. He had torn his drum set apart, and he couldn't even say the words out loud. Rachel tugged on Finn's hand until he followed her back to his bed. She sat next to him, folding her legs underneath her. Taking the hand still grasped in hers, she pressed it to her chest, over her heart. She flattened his palm until he could feel her heart beating. Finn stared at his hand over her heart before he looked up at her.

"You still play this drum," Rachel said. "And I'm certain that no one can play it better than you can."

That charming half smile came onto Finn's face and he pulled Rachel towards him, burying his face in the crook of her neck. Rachel combed her fingers through his hair. After several long moments, Rachel laid down on the bed. Finn tensed as a particularly loud firework was set off, but Rachel guided him down so that he was lying next to her with his ear pressed over her heart. Once he was comfortable, Rachel started to softly sing.

_I've heard there was a secret chord  
That David played, and it pleased the Lord.  
But you don't really care for music, do you?  
It goes like this:  
The fourth, the fifth,  
The minor fall, the major lift,  
The baffled king composing Hallelujah._

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah._  
_Hallelujah, Hallelujah._

_Your faith was strong but you needed proof._  
_You saw her bathing on the roof._  
_Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you._  
_She tied you to a kitchen chair,_  
_She broke your throne, she cut your hair,_  
_And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah._

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah._  
_Hallelujah, Hallelujah._

_Maybe I've been here before._  
_I know this room, I've walked this floor._  
_I used to live alone before I knew you._  
_I've seen your flag on the marble arch._  
_Love is not a victory march,_  
_It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah._

Finn slung an arm around Rachel's waist and pressed closer to her. As she sang, a few tears rolled down her cheeks, and Rachel closed her eyes as her fingers began to stroke through Finn's hair once again.

Finn closed his eyes as well. One ear was attuned to the steady beat of Rachel's heart; the other to her beautiful voice. He had heard it over the past five years, but only through recordings. Hearing it live, right in his ear, was another thing all together. Like it always had, Rachel's voice moved through Finn until it was all he could feel.

Singing for Finn was something that Rachel had always enjoyed. He always looked at her like she had hung the moon whenever she sang. And when she couldn't see his face, like now, she could practically _feel_ how in awe he was of her. She had always loved watching Finn watching her perform, and not just because she was the center of attention. It was because the way Finn's eyes were on her made her feel amazing.

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah.  
Hallelujah, Hallelujah._

_There was a time you'd let me know_  
_What's real and going on below._  
_But now you never show it to me do you?_  
_And remember when I moved in you?_  
_The holy dove was moving too,_  
_And every breath we drew was hallelujah._

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah._  
_Hallelujah, Hallelujah._

_Well maybe there's a God above._  
_And all I ever learned from love_  
_Was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you._  
_It's not a cry you can hear at night,_  
_It's not somebody who's seen the light,_  
_It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah._

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah._  
_Hallelujah, Hallelujah._  
_Hallelujah, Hallelujah._  
_Hallelujah, Hallelujah._

Finn lifted his head just enough to look into Rachel's eyes. His brow furrowed in concern when he saw her tears, and he levered himself up so that he could lean over her. Finn pressed a slow kiss to Rachel's forehead as his thumb caressed her cheeks, wiping away her tears. When he pulled back, Rachel wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him back down to her lips.

Somewhere above them, the finale of the fireworks was happening. But neither Finn nor Rachel noticed. They were too caught up in each other as their lips moved against one another's with deep, passionate kisses. Rachel felt it all the way to her toes. She felt as if it was everything all at once and the most simple, right thing in the world all at the same time.

Their fingers laced together as they broke apart for air. But Finn's lips continued down Rachel's neck, gently nipping and sucking at the column of her throat. Rachel tilted her head back against the pillows, her fingers still locked in his hair.

Finn's kisses suddenly slowed, and he trailed his lips back up to Rachel's and gave her a gentle kiss. His forehead pressed against hers as they both closed their eyes and tried to catch their breath. Finn rolled onto his back and took Rachel with him. She curled against his chest, her hand moving to rest over his heart.

They lay like that, cuddled up on the bed for a few quiet minutes. Rachel fiddled with the tulip tucked into her dress before Finn ran his hands down her back and then guided them up into a sitting position. He smoothed his hand down her hair and pressed a kiss to her temple.

"I think the fireworks are over," Rachel said.

"Sounds like it," Finn agreed. He climbed off of his bed and then held his hand out to Rachel. Taking it, she smoothed out her dress and then smoothed her fingers over Finn's t-shirt. "Ready to go back outside?"

Rachel sighed dramatically. "I guess." Her teasing had the desired effect, and Finn smiled. Hand-in-hand, they walked up the stairs and out the house. They quickly found the spot that their friends had claimed.

"Good God, it's about time you two got here!" Kurt exclaimed as he stood up. He was brandishing a camera in the air, and Puck had to duck in order to avoid being hit with it.

He glared at Kurt. "Watch where you're swinging that thing, Petunia."

Kurt rolled his eyes in return. "Can it, Puckerman. Anyway, I want to take a picture to commemorate this wonderful moment. While not all of members of the original New Directions are back in Lima yet, half of us are here now. And I need a new profile picture for my Facebook page, anyway."

Carole took the camera from Kurt as the group of eight shuffled together. Puck wrapped an arm around Quinn's waist, but at the very last second he blew a raspberry onto her neck, causing her to laugh loudly. Brittany and Santana were making kissy faces at the camera, their arms wrapped around each other. Kurt was sitting on one of Blaine's knees from where they were kneeling in the front of the group, smiling brightly at the camera as they cupped each other's faces.

As for Finn and Rachel, he had pulled her close while everyone hadn't been paying attention. He bent to press his lips to her cheek, his good hand coming up to cup her opposite cheek. Rachel had a pleasantly surprised look on her face, along with a beaming smile.

Carole took a few more pictures, but she flipped back to the first one. She smiled at all of them and held it out so that they could see. "This one is my favorite."

* * *

**Author's Note: So I thought that I would have a lot of Finchel fluff for a couple of chapters before we get back into the angst. And don't worry, there will be Finchel smut in this story. Thanks for reading!**


	15. everything will be just fine

**Author's Note: As always, thanks for the amazing reviews! I'm totally winging what this therapist would say. This chapter takes place three days after the Fourth of July. This chapter title is from "The Middle" by Jimmy Eats World.**

**I don't know about the rest of you, but the more I hear about season four, the more disappointed I get. I just don't understand why they can't leave Finchel alone. Sigh. At least I have this little universe to live in, where Finchel gets the happy ending they deserve. :)**

**Also, I've got a new story up. It's called **_**All The More For That**_**. Please go check it out!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own it.**

* * *

"Hey Mom? I have a question."

Carole looked up from the apples she was slicing for a pie as Finn entered the kitchen. The look on his face reminded Carole of when he was five years old and asking for something. She smiled at the memory as she turned to face her son.

"What's going on, Finny?"

Finn looked a little sheepish as he held his phone out. Taking it, Carole saw the cutest golden retriever puppy. She immediately let out a loud "awww!" Finn smiled and rubbed the back of his neck, nodding his head towards the phone.

"That's my question."

Carole looked down at the phone and then back up at Finn. "You're asking me if you can buy a puppy?" She patted his arm. "Sweetie, you're almost twenty-four years old. I think you can decide if you want to buy a dog or not."

Finn chuckled. "I know, but that wasn't why I was asking. I was just making sure that it would be okay if I brought a puppy back here. This is your house, after all."

"Finny, this is your house too! Of course you can bring home the puppy. What made you decide to buy one, though?"

Finn shrugged his good shoulder. "The therapist said that it might be good for me to find something that I like to occupy my time." At the latest session the day before, Finn had spent a little bit of time talking about his drums and how he was worried that he'd never get to play anymore. They talked some more about the other things that Finn had enjoyed, which led to him talking about how he had always loved animals. It was as good an idea as any. A new puppy would certainly occupy Finn's time.

"The therapist told you to buy a puppy?" Carole asked.

Finn laughed again. "Not specifically. I just decided that that's what I wanted to do. I stopped by the pet store on the way home. This little guy caught my eye." When Finn had been shown the puppies, this golden retriever had climbed right into Finn's lap. With one look into his big eyes, Finn knew that he was a goner.

"I think that he's the cutest little puppy I've ever seen," Carole said. "When are you bringing him home?"

"Later this afternoon. Kurt, Blaine, and Rachel are coming with me." Finn rolled his eyes, but he did it in a good-natured way. Kurt had texted him the day before, when he had been looking at the puppies. When Finn had told him what he was doing, Kurt had promptly told everyone else and then he and Rachel proceeded to draw up all sorts of lists and charts on what he would need for the new puppy. While he appreciated the help, Finn drew the line at all of the names they suggested. He flat out refused to name his puppy Fanny.

Carole laughed at that. She knew her stepson well, after all. "Have fun with that, Finn. You might want to pick out a name before you get there!"

* * *

"How about Tony? That's a good name for a dog."

"Kurt. I'm not naming my dog after a character in _West Side Story_. And I told you that I already have a name picked out."

Kurt ignored Finn's last statement. "What about Jaxx? I think you would like the _Rock of Ages_, Finn."

Finn sighed. "No."

"Cosette?"

"Kurt, my dog is a boy."

"Valjean, then."

"No way."

"Okay, okay." Blaine could sense that neither of the brothers were going to budge. Kurt was going to keep suggesting names until he was blue in the face. "Kurt, we'll buy a dog and name it Cosette. I think we should let Finn name his own dog."

"Fine," Kurt said petulantly. "But we're going to get a toy poodle."

Blaine gave his boyfriend an amused look and kissed him to placate him. "Okay, Kurt."

Rachel stifled a laugh as they walked into the pet store. While she was still a strong supporter of Fanny, she knew that Finn had picked a name already. The attendant smiled when he recognized Finn and shook his hand.

"I have the paperwork all drawn up for you," he said. "Do you have a name picked out?"

"Valjean," Kurt said immediately.

Finn gave his brother an exasperated look and reached over to purposefully mess up Kurt's hair. "No. I'll fill the name in myself."

The paperwork was filled out quickly. "I'll let you play with the puppy for a little bit while I gather up all of your things." He brought Finn into the little enclosed area, and Rachel, Kurt, and Blaine stood outside the fence. The attendant brought over the little ball of fluff and set him on the ground. Finn crouched down and extended his hand to the puppy.

He looked up at Finn with his big, dark eyes and let out an excited yip. He immediately ran towards Finn, his little paws slapping on the carpeted floor. The puppy nudged Finn's hand with his nose before he went up on his back legs and licked Finn's face. He laughed and sat back, allowing the puppy to climb into his lap.

"That has got to be the cutest thing ever," Blaine observed.

Rachel nodded her head and pressed a hand to her chest as she watched the dog and Finn interact. That puppy was already attached to Finn, which was something that she could easily relate to. The puppy was all golden, fluffy fur with big dark eyes and a happy little face. She loved the puppy already.

"Come on in, guys," Finn said.

Kurt held his hands up. "This sweater is cashmere. I'll wait until we get home so I can change into something more suitable for dog hair."

Rachel didn't have a problem climbing into the enclosure. She sat down next to Finn and tucked her legs underneath her. The puppy tilted his head at her and looked at Finn before looking back to Rachel. He quickly scrambled into her lap and pressed his paws against her chest as he licked her cheek, just as he had done with Finn.

"Aw, Rach, he likes you!" Finn said. He loved that his puppy already adored Rachel- and it seemed like Rachel adored the puppy in return.

She sifted her fingers through his soft fur. "What's his name?"

"Brady," Finn finally revealed. "It's my mom's maiden name. When I was kid, that was always the name I gave my imaginary dog, so..."

"That is so cute." Rachel hugged the puppy to her and kissed his head. "He's adorable!"

The attendant came out of the back then, with a crate and a few other essential items that Finn would need. As they left the pet store, Kurt started talking about how they would need to get all sorts of collars for Brady. And they couldn't forget the ones for special occasions!

Finn gave Kurt an incredulous look. "The red collar he has now is fine, Kurt."

Kurt didn't bother to begin an argument with Finn on the subject. He was going to buy that dog some absolutely fabulous collars, whether Finn liked it or not. That little puppy was like his first nephew and, dog or not, he was going to be spoiled properly.

"Let's talk about his dog house, then," Kurt said. "I already ordered one online, and it should be here within the next two business days. I suppose we'll have to go to Sheets N Things so I can pick up some supplies for it..."

"Wait..." Finn blinked at Kurt. "What?"

"The dog house, Finn! Do you really think I'd let your new puppy stay in a raggedy little thing?"

Finn pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and pointer finger. Rachel unsuccessfully tried to stifle her laughs as she rubbed his back. Blaine wisely changed the subject as they arrived back at the Hudmel house. They weren't surprised to find that Santana, Brittany, Quinn, and Puck were already there.

"We brought presents for the puppy!" Brittany exclaimed as soon as she saw them. Finn and Blaine unloaded everything from the truck before they let the puppy loose in the backyard.

"Christ, that is one cute puppy," Santana said. "What's his name?"

"Brady," Finn announced proudly.

"Thank God," Puck said. "I was afraid Hummel was going to talk you into naming him Sweeny, or something."

"Number one, Sweeny is not that bad!" Kurt exclaimed. "And number two, I wanted to name the puppy Valjean!"

Puck snorted. "Jesus, that's even worse."

"And what would you name your puppy, Puckerman? I'm sure it would be something creative, like Gunner or Tank."

"My dog would be a badass, Petunia. Hey, if you ever get a dog, you could name it Petunia!"

"Blaine and I have already picked the name Cosette for our future dog!"

"My point has been proven."

Kurt's retort was cut off when Brady came barreling through the yard towards Puck, barking all the way. Puck was fine—until Brady started nipping at his ankles. Puck let out a yelp and ran away. Brady, thinking that it was a game, chased after him.

"Hudson! Call your dog off!" Puck yelled.

Kurt clapped his hands and had no problems encouraging the puppy. "Good boy, Brady!"

"Quinn!"

Quinn playfully rolled her eyes before heeding Puck's call for help. Santana started doing an impression of Puck, who was a self-proclaimed badass, being chased around the yard by a harmless puppy. Puck pointed at Santana and commanded Brady to attack, but he just tilted his head and watched them, his tail wagging happily.

"This is clearly the best dog ever," Santana declared.

Brady trotted back over to Finn and sat directly next to him, right at his feet. Finn stooped so he could ruffle the puppy's ears. When he stood up, he had a full smile on his face. Rachel reached over and took his hand in hers. He turned his smile on her and brought her hand up to lips, kissing the back of her hand.

Burt announced that dinner was ready, and everyone made their way back to the deck. Once they were all seated at the table, Brittany sighed loudly and rested her head on Santana's shoulder.

"I don't want to go back tomorrow," she said with a pout.

Santana patted Brittany's hand. "Neither do I, but we have to get back to work."

Quinn, Santana, and Brittany were heading back to New York the next day. Kurt didn't have to go back as long as he worked on his designs, and Blaine didn't have to go back, either. In fact, it was actually Puck who was going to the city with the girls. He claimed that he finally wanted to expand and look at spaces for a bar up in the city, but everyone knew that he was going back for Quinn. He was making the big gesture, and Quinn didn't seem to have a problem with accepting it.

"Let's not talk about that right now," Quinn declared. "Why don't we just focus on having a nice night with each other?"

"I agree," Kurt said. "And we should all eat fast, because Blaine and I dug the karaoke machine out from the attic. We're going to have a good old-fashioned karaoke contest!"

Cheers rose up around the table and Brady started barking along with them, which only led to more laughter. Everyone ate quickly and thought about what songs they wanted to sing... even Finn.

* * *

It was late when they finally brought their little party to a close. Puck and Quinn were the first to leave. It wasn't long after that that Brittany, Santana, Kurt, Blaine, and Rachel decided to all head back towards the Berry house. As they cleaned up and gathered their things, Rachel pulled Finn into the kitchen.

She stood on her tiptoes and pressed a slow, sweet kiss to his lips. "I had fun tonight."

Finn ran his fingers through her soft hair. "Me too." He hadn't done any solos or duets, but he had done a few group songs with everyone. It had been great, almost like the old times.

Rachel leaned her head against his chest. "You're going to have to sing for me again, Finn Hudson. I've missed hearing your voice."

"Maybe," Finn said quietly. Rachel gave him a reassuring smile and kissed him again. Just as she pulled away, Santana came into the kitchen.

"Let me say goodbye to Frankenteen, Berry," she said. "You have another five months with him."

Rachel squeezed Finn's hand before releasing it. When she was gone, Santana just studied Finn for several long moments. He sighed and felt himself already getting defensive, even though he was trying hard not to. He was sure that he wasn't going to really like whatever it was that Santana wanted to say to him.

"You know, you're going to have to talk to her," Santana finally said.

Finn sighed again. "I know."

"I mean it, Finn. You have to ask her about New York. There are a lot of things that you have to discuss. I mean, I'll let her explain it all to you, but you need to know… she was so confused, Finn. She didn't know if she should wait for you or what."

The guilty look in Santana's eyes was all Finn needed to see to know. He swallowed hard and ran a hand through his hair. He had known what he was doing when he sent her to New York. He hadn't expected Rachel to wait for him. He wanted her to live her life and just be happy. And if that meant that she had seen other guys while in the city, then so be it. It was something that Finn couldn't dwell on, because it had already happened. It was in the past, and he was here with her now. That was all that mattered.

He cleared his throat. "I promise that I'll talk to Rachel."

Santana nodded her head. "Good." Then she leaned forward and hugged him as a soft smile appeared on her face. "I really am happy for the two of you. If there's anyone that deserves that fairytale ending, it's you and Rachel."

Finn smiled. "Thanks, Santana."

Santana's smile widened before she pointed a threatening finger in his face. "If you break her heart again, there will be nothing stopping me from cutting off your balls and tying them to the antenna of my car."

Finn sighed. "And there you go, ruining a nice moment, Lopez."

"Did you expect anything different?"

Brittany and Rachel came back into the kitchen then. Brittany hugged Finn goodbye and promised to write him more letters and send him some pictures when they got back. Santana and Brittany went out to the car while Rachel stayed back with Finn.

She lightly ran her hands down his chest. "Is everything okay?"

Finn wrapped his arms around Rachel's waist and tugged her towards him, kissing her softly. "Everything is fine, Rach."

* * *

**Author's Note: So I lied. There was still a ton of fluff in this chapter. I decided to name Finn's puppy Brady because… well… it just kind of popped into my head. Coming up, there will be some serious talks between Finn and Rachel. But have no fear, because there will be plenty of Finchel lovin'! Thanks for reading!**


	16. but never let go

**Author's Note: I don't even know if the reason for needing glasses I list in this chapter is medically correct. I just really wanted Finn to wear some glasses! This chapter title is from "Never Let Go" by Bryan Adams (seriously, that song really speaks to their situation right now).**

**I know I really suck when it comes to responding to reviews, but I just can't leave the anonymous reviewers out! Dm1104, I really wish I could put my life on hold and finish this story. Unfortunately, college exists, haha (I did put sleep on hold, though!). To whoever suggested the song "Man Down," thank you. It definitely speaks to how Finn is feeling, and it helps me write his part. And Chocolatebroccol, you should totally get an account so I can thank you for all of your wonderful reviews! You guys are all so great, and thanks for supporting this story!  
**

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything.**

* * *

Finn groaned as he rolled out of bed. Glancing out the window, he saw that the sun was just coming up. He blindly reached for the glasses on his bedside table and jammed them on as Brady danced around his feet. He loved his puppy; really, he did. He just wasn't crazy about being woken up at four-thirty in the morning.

Another thing Finn wasn't quite sure about was his glasses. They weren't anything special—just simple, rectangular frames. He didn't quite understand it, but something had happened after the concussion he had sustained and now he had to wear glasses from time to time. It was mostly just when he was reading, but he sometimes wore them when he first woke up.

He took Brady outside and then quickly herded the puppy back inside once he was finished with his business. Finn was too tired to even make himself go downstairs, so he plopped down on the couch in the living room. Brady hopped up next to him and curled up on his chest.

Surprisingly, Finn felt his eyes grow heavy. After weeks of not really sleeping, the exhaustion must have finally caught up with him. He stretched a little, made sure his puppy wasn't going to fall off the couch, and finally closed his eyes.

* * *

The smell of bacon was the first thing that Finn registered when he woke up.

The scent of coffee reached him next, and then he heard some quiet chatter. He heard his mother and Kurt and Blaine… and then Rachel. Without opening his eyes, Finn smiled and stretched. Brady, who was still curled up against him, let out a little yip at the movement.

Finn chuckled. "I'm sorry, buddy," he said as the conversation in the kitchen stopped. Carole, Kurt, Burt, Blaine, and Rachel suddenly appeared in the doorway to the living room.

"Good morning, sunshine!" Kurt exclaimed.

"Kurt," Finn greeted with an amused look.

Blaine smirked at him. "We're so glad that you've finally decided to join us. Carole has been holding out on breakfast."

Kurt nudged his boyfriend's shoulder playfully. "Don't listen to him. She just finished a few minutes ago."

"We made everyone's favorites," Carole said. "So whenever you're ready."

Finn shifted Brady off of him, and the puppy let out another little bark before he spotted Rachel. He jumped off of the sofa and skidded across the floor in his haste to get to her. Rachel laughed and crouched down as the puppy jumped into her arms.

"I'm sure he's not the only one happy to see Rachel," Kurt murmured loud enough for Blaine, Carole, and Burt to hear.

Finn got off the couch and stretched again. He snagged his glasses off the coffee table and shoved them back on before he scratched at the slight stubble on his face. He turned to see everyone staring at him, and he shrank back a little in self-consciousness.

"What?"

Burt nodded towards his face. "Those are new."

Finn still wasn't sure what they were all staring at. "What?" he repeated.

"The glasses, Finn."

"Oh." Finn adjusted the frames on his face. "Yeah. They gave them to me when I left the base hospital."

"They look good."

Finn's head turned towards Rachel. She was watching him with dark eyes, and when his gaze caught hers, she smiled. He smiled in return and stopped fidgeting with the glasses.

"Yeah?" Over the past five years, it had gotten to the point where he had become comfortable with his body. With all of his training, he had kept in great shape. He couldn't wait until he could work out again, because he didn't want to lose that. But since the attack, and with the burns and subsequent scars he had acquired from it, he couldn't help but feel a little more self-conscious once again.

Rachel nodded her head, and a smile touched her lips. "Really," she replied.

"Ew," Kurt whispered loudly. "I feel like I need to go disinfect myself now."

Tearing his eyes away from Rachel, Finn reached out and playfully ruffled Kurt's hair. He let out an indignant screech and tried to swat Finn's hands away, but he tugged on Kurt's scarf instead. In her most motherly voice, Carole ordered everyone to go into the kitchen. Everyone settled around the table as Carole began to liberally fill everyone's plate with food.

"So Blaine, you'll be starting school again in the fall, correct?" Burt asked.

Blaine nodded his head as he piled more hash browns onto his plate. "At Columbia Law. I almost wish I took some time off before starting again this soon, but I knew that I would never go back if I didn't."

"I don't think I could go back to school," Kurt said with a shudder. He had gotten an associate's degree at Hofstra in business, and he had been beyond eager to get out of there.

"Kurt, you spent two years in school. The rest of us spent four years in school," Rachel teased. "And believe it or not, it wasn't horrible." She had enjoyed her time in school and felt as if she was really getting to experience life for once. It had been so different from going to a small high school in Ohio.

Kurt playfully rolled his eyes at his best friend. "Well, I'm not the only one. Finn didn't spend any time in school, so he knows what it's like. And I doubt that he would want to go back, either!"

"Actually, I was in school," Finn revealed quietly.

Carole and Burt smiled while Blaine, Kurt, and Rachel all turned to stare at him with wide eyes. "What?" Kurt finally said. "Really? When?"

Finn shrugged his shoulders. "On and off since graduation. When I was stateside I took some classes, and I took some online, too."

He had wanted to make sure that when he got out of the Army, he would have something to do. He had originally thought about becoming a firefighter or a police officer, but that wasn't really possible anymore with his shattered wrist. And when it came right down to it, Finn had realized long ago that he really wanted to pursue the career path he had ended up choosing. Finn was glad that he had a backup plan, one that he would actually enjoy. His mom, Burt, and Will were the only people who really knew about it.

"Did you pick a major?" Blaine asked when Finn didn't elaborate any further. "Or something to focus on?"

"I did. Uh... I have about a year left to complete a degree in music education."

Blaine and Kurt both looked impressed. "That's great, Finn," Blaine immediately said. "You'll make a great teacher." He really did believe that, too. It was evident that Finn worked really well with kids, so they all knew it was the perfect career choice for him.

Finn smiled at his brother's boyfriend. "Thanks, man," he said.

"I had no idea that you wanted to be a teacher," Kurt said.

Finn shrugged again and rubbed the back of his neck. "I had some time to think about it. I talked to Mr. Schue a lot about it."

"Where do you want to teach?" Kurt asked. In that moment, he was so proud of his brother. Back when Finn had first revealed that he was going to join the army, Kurt thought that he was doing it because he had no idea what he wanted to do with his life. Now, he could see that Finn actually had some type of plan, one that he seemed determined to see through.

"Elementary school," Finn told them. "I figured that I could kind of be their Mr. Schue, you know? I could teach kids how to love and appreciate music at an early age, and they wouldn't be afraid to show it when they get older."

Kurt and Blaine nodded their heads, and they both appeared at a loss for words with Finn's reasoning. Kurt actually kind of looked like he was about to cry. Finn could imagine that it was because he was wishing that he had a teacher like that when he was a kid. Life might have been a lot easier had they all had a teacher like Mr. Schue when they had been younger.

Finn turned his gaze to Rachel. His eyes met hers just as her hand slid into his under the table. She had a gentle smile on her face, and her eyes were soft and warm with affection. She squeezed his hand, and when everyone picked up another conversation, Rachel leaned forward and whispered, "I'm so proud of you."

* * *

Not long after breakfast, Finn decided to take Brady for a walk. Rachel had volunteered to go with him. They walked through the park, their fingers intertwined as Brady leapt around their feet on his leash. Rachel was leaning her head against Finn's shoulder as they walked slowly.

Santana's words kept bouncing around in Finn's head. He took a deep breath and decided to just bite the bullet. There really was no delicate way to approach this, so Finn knew that he just had to go for it. It wasn't a conversation that he really wanted to have, but it was one that they needed to have.

"Hey, Rach?"

Rachel tilted her head up towards Finn and smiled. "Yes, Finn?"

"I want you to tell me about school."

Rachel gave him a questioning look. "Okay," she said slowly. "I did already, a little bit, but I can tell you more about it if you really want me too. It wasn't too exciting."

Finn sighed. "Rachel, I think you know that's not what I'm talking about."

"Oh." Rachel's face fell a little, and she came to a complete stop. She didn't let go of Finn's hand, but instead tightened her grip on it. Finn squeezed her hand in return and guided them over to a bench. He tied Brady's leash to the armrest and then sat down, keeping his hand wrapped around Rachel's as he pulled her down next to him.

Even after all this time, Rachel still felt a little guilty even though she didn't really have a reason to. She supposed that it was really because she was meant to be with Finn and no one else. Any other person she had tried to date was just wrong. From the look on Finn's face, she already knew that he would understand; in fact, it looked as if he had already anticipated it. Rachel just wanted Finn to know that there was no going back now. The next time he tried to get rid of her for her own good, or whatever misguided, noble reason that Finn had, Rachel was going to fight back with everything in her. In fact, if he ever tried anything like what he pulled with the train ever again, Rachel wouldn't be afraid to rip him a new one.

"I dated three guys," Rachel stated bluntly. There really was no use beating around the bush. "The first guy was about a year and half after school. I went on three dates with him before I stopped. The second guy was a year after that. I dated him for two months. The last guy was two years after that, and that relationship lasted for four months." She shrugged her shoulders. "There was no one else. Not even any small dates in between."

Finn nodded his head as they fell into silence. Rachel shifted next to him as she bit down on her bottom lip. Finn deserved to know... just like she deserved to know if he had dated anyone.

"What about you?" Rachel asked.

Finn's brow furrowed. "What about me?"

"Did you date anyone?"

Finn let out a dry chuckle. "Rach, there wasn't exactly any time to date anyone."

Still, Rachel pressed on. "What about..." She trailed off. Part of her wanted to know if Finn had slept with someone else. Another part of her never wanted to know if he had come even remotely close.

Finn knew what she was asking. "No. There was never anyone else."

Rachel released a breath she hadn't known she was holding. "Not for me, either," she admitted. Seeing the look on Finn's face, she shook her head. "Come on, Finn. Do you really want to know the truth? Every time I dated someone, all I could see was you. Every time I closed my eyes to kiss one of those three guys, all I could think about were freckles, thick, dark hair, and amber eyes. It was never right with anyone else, because there is no one else for me but you. Do you understand now?"

Finn slowly nodded his head. He wrapped his good arm around Rachel's shoulders and pulled her against him. She snuggled into his arms, signaling that she wasn't angry. Finn's fingers combed through Rachel's hair as she plucked at the buttons on his shirt. She lifted her head a little bit.

"Finn, please be honest with me," Rachel said quietly. Finn nodded his head and she sat up all the way but kept their hands locked together. "Did you expect me not to date anyone else?"

Finn's jaw locked as he thought about those three guys. He would like nothing more to beat all of them for even looking at Rachel, but that wasn't his place. He had let Rachel go. He hadn't talked to her for five years; if there was anyone that he should be truly angry with, it was himself. Finn finally forced himself to relax.

"I expected you to do what made you happy," Finn said truthfully. "And if dating those other guys made you happy, then... then that's okay."

"But it didn't make me happy, Finn!" The volume of Rachel's voice shocked him, but she didn't back down. "I didn't want to be with anyone else but you. I don't want to be with anyone else but you."

Finn threaded his fingers through Rachel's hair. "Rachel, I don't want to be with anyone else, either. Ever."

Rachel gripped the sleeve of his shirt. "Finn Hudson, don't you ever leave me again," she said fiercely.

"Would you believe me if I said that I learned my lesson?"

Rachel's eyes stared into his, clearly searching. Finally, she shifted closer to him. "I think you might have."And she really did. Finn had been so good to her over the past couple of weeks. It really wasn't hard to remember why she loved him in the first place.

They finally smiled at each other, and Finn hauled Rachel towards him and covered her mouth with his. They kissed passionately, gripping each other tightly. It was only the excited barking of Brady that eventually brought them back down to earth.

Finn untied Brady from the bench. He wrapped his arm around Rachel's shoulders and pulled her into his side as they walked back to the Hudmel house. Even though they had fallen into another silence, this one wasn't tense and heavy.

They still had things to talk about, but at least they had gotten one thing off the table. It was like a weight had been lifted from both of them. Things were just a little easier now.

"Finn... I haven't been this happy in a long time," Rachel said.

"Me too, Rach," Finn said quietly. He let the dog into the backyard and pulled Rachel towards him, linking his hands around her waist. "I'm sorry that you felt as if you had something to hide from me. This is my fault."

"Finn." Rachel linked her arms behind his neck. She cleared her throat a little. "Do you remember what you said to me that... that day?"

Finn tried as hard as he could to forget that day. He wasn't exactly eager to go back to it, so he kept his answer vague. "Yeah," Finn said quietly.

"You said that we would find each other again. And we did." Rachel stood on her tiptoes and kissed him lightly. "And I'm certainly not letting you go."

"Me neither, Rach. I'm never going to let you go," Finn promised. He leaned down to kiss her again, but his glasses bumped her nose. They both laughed as Finn pushed his glasses further up the bridge of his nose and managed to kiss her again.

When they pulled apart, Rachel tapped the frame of his glasses. "You know, I really like these."

A smirk began to firm on Finn's face. "Yeah?"

"Oh yes. And I'm a fan of the scruff, too." Rachel traced her fingers down his jaw before she pulled his face down to hers. Her tongue slid into his mouth as she pushed him against the fence. Finn lifted her against him, caught a little off guard by her surprising strength. Rachel smiled against his lips before she pulled away from him.

As they walked back into the house, Finn muttered, "I'm going to have to wear these more often." Before they could go in, however, Finn caught Rachel's wrist and tugged her back towards him. He was struck by a sudden idea. "Rach, how would you like to go on a date with me?"

Rachel turned towards him, her eyes wide. "A date?" she repeated.

"Yeah. We could grab some dinner, go somewhere nice…" Finn trailed off. What if she was only comfortable with just kissing him? What if she didn't want to go on a date? The last thing Finn wanted to do was push her.

Before he knew it, Rachel was beaming at him. She threw her arms around his neck and hugged tight, but was careful to avoid the bandages on his neck. "I would love to!"

Finn let out a relieved breath and hugged Rachel in return before he pulled back just enough to kiss her again. He was going to plan the perfect fourth first date for them.

* * *

**Author's Note: I tried to be as realistic as possible with the conversation that Finn and Rachel had. I'll get into why Finn didn't contact her for five years, as well. I tried to keep the ending of this chapter light-hearted. Finn and Rachel won't break up in this story. Like I've said before, this is about them healing, learning to trust one another again, and falling in love. Thanks for reading!**


	17. hold me in your arms tonight

**Author's Note: You guys are awesome. You're all just really awesome. I can't say that enough! Thank you so much for your amazing reviews. They seriously make my day. So I guess I should state that from here on out, this story will have M-rated smut. This chapter's title is from "Hero" by Enrique Iglesias.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own it.**

* * *

_"You have to wear the black dress."_

Rachel held up a black dress with short sleeves that she had worn to a celebratory lunch after she had been casted in _Wicked_. She turned it so that Santana, Brittany, and Quinn could see it from where they were gathered in front of their computer camera. "Do you mean this one?"

Santana scoffed. _"No, I don't mean that one. That makes you look like a grandma, Berry."_

Rachel scowled at her and then went back to her closet. She quickly scanned it before she found a dress she had never seen before. Frowning, she pulled it out and then gasped. It wasn't really a dress. It was more like a tight, short tube of shiny black fabric.

"Santana, what is this?" Rachel demanded.

Santana smirked at her and shared a look with Quinn and Brittany. _"We thought that we'd leave you a little present."_

"Guys, I can't wear this."

_"Why the hell not?"_

_ "You'd look hot!"_

_ "Finn wouldn't know what to do with himself if he saw you in that dress."_

Rachel waved off their statements and questions. "I doubt we're going anywhere fancy enough for a dress quite like this."

Quinn laughed. _"So he hasn't told you where you're going yet."_

"No." Rachel scowled. Ever since Finn had asked her, she had been trying to get that little tidbit of information from him. She had also (unsuccessfully) badgered both Kurt and Blaine. If they knew, they had been sworn to secrecy.

_"Maybe you should just go naked,"_ Santana suggested. _"Because you're going to end up fucking him anyway."_

Rachel's cheeks flamed bright red. "Santana!"

_"What?"_ Santana shrugged her shoulders. _"Don't pretend like you weren't thinking about it."_

Brittany nodded her head in agreement. _"We know that you want to."_

Rachel's cheeks went even redder, if that were possible. Oh yes, she had been thinking about it. Every time she kissed him, she thought about it. Back in high school, she had been pretty adventurous with their sexual relationship. Now, five years later… well, it had just been a long time.

"We're not talking about this anymore," Rachel said firmly.

_"You're so boring, Berry,"_ Santana complained, but she let the subject drop.

_"Maybe we should call Kurt and Blaine,"_ Quinn suggested. _"They have to know where Finn is taking you."_

"I already tried. They won't tell me."

_"Yes, but that doesn't mean they won't tell us."_

_"Lady Hummel is being a little fucker,"_ Santana grumbled as she looked down. She was texting furiously, and her brow was furrowed in a dark glare. _"The hobbit is, too. They won't tell me."_

"We know that you're talking to Rachel, Santana! We can hear you!" Kurt yelled from across the hallway.

_"Fuck you, Lady Hummel!"_ Santana screeched back.

Thankfully, Brittany changed the subject. _"What about that purple sundress? The one with the little straps?"_

Rachel went back to her closet and pulled out the dress in question. It was a beautiful sundress. The neckline dipped down to reveal just enough cleavage, and it flowed to just above her knees. She nodded her head in approval.

"Good call, B," Rachel said. "I love it."

_"Perfect,"_ Quinn agreed. _"Wear your hair down, too."_

Santana also agreed with the choice of dress. _"That dress will do. But we also picked up some things for you at Victoria's Secret. You have to wear one of those if you refuse to wear the black dress."_

Rachel rolled her eyes dramatically. "Fine." She inspected what her friends had bought for her; it was all very lacy and didn't cover very much. She finally settled for a pair of white, lacy boy shorts before she turned back to the camera.

"I'm going to get ready now, so I'll talk to you guys later," she said.

_"Tell us how it goes!"_

_ "We love you!"_

_ "We want to know all of the dirty details!"_

Laughing, Rachel said goodbye to her friends and turned the camera off. She quickly got ready and felt the excitement and anticipation building up inside her. She truly hadn't felt this excited for a night out in a long time. She couldn't wait to see what Finn had planned for them.

* * *

"Finn, where are we going?"

Finn gave her one of his charming half smiles, and Rachel scowled a little at him. Finn was very good at having people believe he didn't know just how charming he was, but he definitely did know. Rachel practically melted under that smile, and he totally knew the effect it had on her.

"It's a surprise, Rachel," Finn said good-naturedly. "You'll see."

"You know that I don't like surprises."

Finn gave her an incredulous look. "That is such a lie. You love surprises."

"Okay, fine." Finn really did know her so well. "Can you at least give me a hint?"

Finn reached for her hand and twined their fingers together. He lifted her hand to his lips and pressed a kiss to the back of it. "That would take all the fun out of it, Rach. In the meantime, to keep you occupied..." He produced another pink tulip and handed it to Rachel with a flourish.

"Oh, Finn." Rachel took the flower and stood up on her tiptoes to press a kiss to his cheek. "These are my favorites."

"I know." Finn smiled before he tugged Rachel to a stop. "We're here."

Rachel looked at him and then up at the building they had stopped in front of. "The bowling alley?" When Finn nodded his head, a slow smile spread across Rachel's lips. She pulled him close for a kiss. "Our first date."

Finn grinned at her. "I thought we could see how much your bowling skills have improved."

"I can't imagine that they've improved by much," Rachel admitted. "It's been a while since I've been bowling."

"How long?" Finn asked as they walked into the bowling alley.

Rachel bit her lip before she answered. "Not since we last went bowling. Right before graduation."

Finn tugged Rachel to a stop by the counter. "Rach..." He pulled her close for a hug, threading his fingers through her hair and dropping a kiss to her temple. "I'm so sorry."

Rachel pressed her face to Finn's chest and let out a little sigh. Over the past five years, she had purposefully avoided things that reminded her of Finn. She hadn't been bowling in that long. She tried her hardest to avoid any type of Journey song—especially "Don't Stop Believing" or "Faithfully". The first time a Journey song had come on, she had broken Santana's radio in her haste to change it. And forget about spending any time in front of a fireplace. She wouldn't be directly alone on a stage if she could help it—not after all of the moments they had shared there. Forget the airplane cups, or anything that tasted like a cosmo.

In retrospect, those were all signs that she never could let go of Finn. She just loved him too much. Their tether was too strong to ever be broken. At this point, it had weathered all sorts of trouble, yet it still held. If that wasn't proof that they were meant to be together, then she didn't know what was. She finally allowed herself to relax in Finn's arms and smiled. Finn kept smoothing his large hand over her hair, and the movement was so comforting.

"Rachel, I—"

"Finn." Rachel pulled back and pressed her fingers to his lips. "We're here now, right?" She gave him an encouraging smile, and he relaxed as well. They had to let go of all the pain at some point. They would both have to work at it, but they wouldn't be able to move forward if they couldn't let go. Finn had already let go a little bit after she had told him about her dates. It was her turn, now.

Finn had done something really wonderful in re-creating their first date. It was so sweet and such a Finn-like thing to do that it caused Rachel's heart to swell. She loved him that much more for his thoughtfulness.

"Now, are you going to take me on our date, or what?" Rachel squeezed his hand with her free one.

Finn kissed the pads of her fingers and smiled before he turned and requested their bowling shoes. They moved to their lane. Rachel couldn't help the beaming grin that came onto her face when she saw the pizza already sitting on the table.

"Kurt told me that you sometimes indulge in real cheese," Finn said. "But I have a vegan pizza just in case."

"No, this is perfect," Rachel said. She pulled her socks out of her purse and put them on before she tugged on the bowling shoes. Socks may not have looked good with the dress she was wearing, but she wasn't about to stick her bare feet in those shoes.

"Should I get them to put the bumpers up?" Finn teased.

"Very funny." Rachel pointed to his cast as she stood up and grabbed her little pink bowling ball. "I'd like to know how you're going to win this game with only one good hand. I think I might actually have a chance to win this game."

"That's what you think. I've spent a lot of time at different bowling allies. I'm pretty good at it." He had spent a lot of time at different bowling allies when he had the chance. It really helped him to clear his head, and it was a good stress reliever.

"I accept your challenge, Finn Hudson." Rachel pulled her arm back and released the ball. It flew forward and hit the aisle with a loud thump before rolling straight into the gutter. Rachel scowled and turned to face Finn, who had dissolved into laughter.

"Oh, Rach. You're just as bad as you were eight years ago," Finn said around his chuckles.

Rachel pouted as she waited for her ball to come back. "You're not supposed to be teasing me right now. What kind of first date are you?"

"The good kind," Finn answered as he got up. He retrieved Rachel's pink bowling ball for her and put it in her hand. Taking his place behind her, Finn steadied her by putting the hand covered in his cast on her hip. He covered her small hand with his, and he guided her hand back in a practiced motion.

"You don't wanna just throw it, you know?" Finn said. He was trying hard not to concentrate on how her body felt pressed up against his, but he wasn't doing a very good job of it. Somehow, he had reverted back to a sixteen year old boy. His hormones were wildly out of control. "You have to... to..."

Rachel didn't really have a good grip on the bowling ball anymore. She leaned further back into Finn's chest as the ball slipped from her hand and clunked to the floor. It rolled down the aisle a little before it fell into the gutter. Rachel felt as if her whole body was on fire. Every nerve ending was alive as she closed her eyes and tilted her head back. All she could feel was Finn; all she wanted was Finn. Suddenly, Rachel turned in Finn's arms. His locked around her waist while she flung hers around his neck. Their mouths met in a passionate, fiery kiss.

Finn anchored his fingers in Rachel's hair and tilted her head back, deepening the kiss. A low moan vibrated from Rachel's throat, and he began to kiss his way down her neck when it suddenly occurred to both of them that they were standing in the middle of a bowling alley.

The desire that Rachel had been trying to hold on to for the past week or so suddenly broke free. She couldn't stand it anymore. She had to feel Finn's hands on her, his lips on her, his skin against hers... It had been five years, and she wanted nothing more than to feel his body and his soul all around her, over her, in her.

Finn seemed to have the same idea, if the grip he had on her was any indication. He kissed the corner of her jaw, and another breathy little moan escaped Rachel.

"Finn," she whispered. "Please..."

Without another word, Finn took Rachel's hand and they quickly walked out of the bowling alley. It wasn't long before they were back at the empty Hudmel house. They had barely shut the front door when Finn and Rachel's lips were on each other's once again.

They managed to stumble into the living room. Finn sank down onto the couch and pulled Rachel forward. She climbed onto his lap, wanting to be as close to him as she possibly could be. She threaded her fingers through his hair, tugging a little. Finn broke away from her only to kiss down her neck again, stopping to bite down gently on her pulse point. Rachel shivered and let out another moan. She arched up when he unzipped the top part of her dress and slid his hand in. His calloused fingers traced over the smooth skin of her naked back, and Rachel gasped.

"Rachel," Finn breathed. "Baby, tell me what you want."

With her fingers still locked in his hair, Rachel tilted his head back so she could kiss him slowly, deeply. She tried to catch her breath enough so she could talk. "Everything," she whispered against his lips. "I want everything."

Finn's eyes were dark and full of compassion and love and a myriad of other emotions as he lifted her and laid her out on the living room carpet. His hands traced down her body as Rachel began to unbutton his shirt. She pushed it off his shoulders as Finn's lips attached to her neck once again. He finished unzipping her dress and carefully pushed the straps down.

Finn kissed down Rachel's neck almost torturously slow, gently nipping and sucking. Rachel kept letting out these breathy little moans as she gripped the material of his undershirt tightly in her hands. He continued kissing downwards, tracing his tongue over her collar bone. Ever so slowly, he peeled the top of her dress back. He kissed the tops of her breasts, languidly trailing his lips from left to right.

He continued to pull the dress back, but he stopped suddenly. His eyes were wide as he stared down at Rachel. Wondering why he stopped, Rachel forced her eyes open to find that Finn's eyes were wide with shock, dark with lust, and filled with love.

"Rach…" he managed. "You…"

Somehow, Rachel managed to figure out what he was trying to say. She didn't have to wear a bra with this dress, and it was something that Finn definitely seemed to like. "Oh," she said. She felt Finn hard against her stomach, and a thrill rushed through her. She felt sexy and confident and wanted, and she wanted Finn so bad, too. A smile spread across her lips, and she nodded her head.

Finn let out a choked noise and covered her mouth with his. His tongue plunged into her mouth as he pulled her dress the rest of the way down, letting it pool at her waist. She was so caught up in the feel of his mouth against hers that she was surprised one of Finn's large hands cupped her bare breast. She gasped into his mouth, arching up into his hand. His thumb brushed over her nipple, and Rachel grabbed onto the hem of his t-shirt and yanked up.

When Rachel threw the shirt somewhere behind her, Finn froze. Rachel put her hands on either side of his face, but he wouldn't look at her. It had been a long time since he had felt self-conscious about his body, but the burns he had acquired definitely changed that. He was just thankful that they were still covered by the bandages.

"Finn, please look at me," Rachel said gently. Another long moment passed before Finn's eyes finally fell to hers. He didn't say anything, but his jaw was tense. Rachel smoothed her fingers over the hard line and then pressed her lips to his jaw. "You're perfect. Absolutely perfect."

Something else appeared in Finn's eyes that Rachel couldn't quite read, but before she could think about it too much, his lips were on hers again. He kissed her hard, relentlessly, and Rachel returned his kiss with just as much enthusiasm. She pressed her naked chest to his, and her legs spread wider to allow his hips to drop between hers. He ground his hips into hers and Rachel bucked up in return before he kissed down her neck once again. This time, he didn't waste any time before his lips closed around a nipple. Rachel moaned loudly as his tongue swirled around the bud. His tongue traced down the curve of her breast before he kissed his way over to the other one. He caught that nipple between his teeth, gently tugging on it.

"Finn," Rachel gasped as her hands ran over the rippling muscles in his back.

"Yes, baby?" Finn muttered against her breast. He tugged her dress down the rest of the way as Rachel's hands flew to the button of his jeans. She used her feet to push the garment down as Finn levered himself up to kiss her again. His hand smoothed down her stomach, circled her bellybutton, and then rubbed the top of her panties. Rachel's hips bucked up as his fingers brushed between her legs, over her panties. She was already so wet, and Finn didn't waste any time in pulling them off. His hands slid up her smooth thighs and he gripped her hips as Rachel's arms encircled his neck and pulled him down to her. Her lips attached to his neck and Finn groaned as Rachel began to rock her hips against his.

"Please, Finn," Rachel panted. "I need you."

Finn pulled back just enough so that he could grab his wallet. Rachel ran her hands down his chest and then palmed him through his boxer briefs. Finn grunted and snatched the condom from his wallet, tossing the object somewhere behind him without looking back. Rachel pushed his briefs down and Finn sheathed himself and bent to kiss Rachel again.

"Rach, baby," Finn mumbled against her lips.

"I'm ready," Rachel whispered, answering his unasked question.

Just to be sure, Finn slipped his fingers between Rachel's slick folds. He groaned when he felt just how wet and ready she was. Rachel answered in a moan as he circled her clit once before pulling his hand back. He shifted so that his weight was on his right hand and finally guided himself into her. They both cried out at the feeling… the feeling that everything was finally perfect.

Finn stilled his hips and hovered over Rachel, pressing light kisses all over her face to make sure that she was okay. Her fingers dug into his shoulders as she got used to the delicious feeling of him stretching her, filling her once again, but it wasn't long before she nodded her head and reached up to kiss him.

Finn slowly started to move again, and a loud moan ripped from Rachel's throat. She felt whole again, as if everything had just clicked into place. It just felt so good, so right. She could already feel herself flying towards the edge as she wrapped her legs around Finn's waist. He pressed into her more deeply as another groan escaped him.

"God, Rach," he panted into her neck as his hips started snapping against hers. He wasn't going to last much longer, either. Rachel's hips lifted to meet his, matching his rhythm perfectly. Their movements grew frantic as their lips hungrily attacked each other's. With another cry, Rachel fell apart underneath him. Finn thrust into her a few more times before he came with a guttural moan.

Finn rolled onto his back and pulled Rachel with him. He yanked a blanket off the back of the couch and covered their sweaty bodies with it as they both tried to catch their breath. Rachel curled up into his side with her ear pressed against his heart.

"That was perfect," Rachel whispered.

Finn gave her one of his half smiles. "Really?"

"Really. It always is." Rachel kissed his chest, right over his heart. She looked around the room, blinking sleepily, before she suddenly laughed.

"What is it?"

"This is kind of fitting, don't you think?"

Finn trailed his fingers up and down Rachel's naked back. "What do you mean?"

Rachel beamed at him. "This is where it first happened."

Finn immediately knew what Rachel was talking about. They were spread out on the living room floor, right in front of the fireplace. Finn remembered a moment nearly six years before, just as perfect as this one. It had been a little bit awkward, and he might not have known what he was doing, but he had been so honored that Rachel had wanted to give him that part of her. And she was giving him a part as equally as special now.

"Well what do you know." Finn pressed a kiss to Rachel's forehead. "Rach…" He really wanted to tell her that he loved her. The words were on the tip of his tongue, but he bit them back just in time. He brushed Rachel's damp hair from her face and settled for showing her his feelings through his actions.

For Rachel, both of their first times had been perfect. She would keep these moments with her forever, and her heart swelled inside her chest. She loved Finn so much; even more than she had back in high school, if that were possible. But exhaustion was quickly taking over, and Rachel yawned. "I really missed you, Finn," she murmured, her voice heavy with sleep. "So, so much."

"I missed you too, Rachel," Finn said as his eyes drifted shut. They both fell into a contented, peaceful sleep.

* * *

**Author's Note: This was another one of my favorite chapters to write. I just love writing Finn and Rachel's relationship so much. Thanks for reading, and I hope that you all enjoyed this chapter. Let me know what you think!**


	18. if you fall, i will catch you

**Author's Note: I am constantly in awe of the response to this story. I'm so glad that you all continue to enjoy this story. This chapter title is from "Time After Time" by Cyndi Lauper.**

**And hey, if you're interested, I have two more stories up! (Yes, it is shameless plug time.) One is called **_**We'll Make It Anywhere**_**, and the other is called **_**Under Those Same Stars**_**. If you have the time, I would really appreciate if you guys could check it out let me know what you think. Thanks!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything.**

* * *

Rachel stretched and smiled as she felt the warm, strong body underneath her. She and Finn might have spent the night on the floor, but it had been one of best nights of sleep she had had in a long time.

Rachel carefully extricated herself from Finn's arms. She found his button down shirt on the floor and slipped it on before she tip-toed to the bathroom. She peeked out the window to see if anyone else had come home and was glad to see that the driveway was still empty. It would have been mildly embarrassing if Kurt and Blaine—or worse, Carole and Burt—had found them on the living room floor.

Rachel didn't know how much time they had left, but she intended on curling up next to Finn and sleeping for as long as she could. She made her way into the living room, expecting to see Finn still sleeping peacefully on the floor. What she found instead was very different.

Finn was thrashing around the on the floor, his brow furrowed in distress. There was a light sheen of sweat on his skin, and the blanket was twisted around him. He was mumbling unintelligible words in his sleep as he thrashed. Rachel's heart broke as Finn tried to fight his way out of his nightmare.

She remembered Kurt's story about how startling Finn in his sleep was a very bad idea, but she had to wake him up. She got down on her knees and crawled towards Finn's head. She settled behind him and gently stroked her fingertips down his cheeks.

"Finn," she called. She tried to keep her voice soothing without being too loud. "Finn, wake up."

Finn suddenly shot up, gasping as he clutched at his chest. Rachel's chest tightened as she crawled towards him, calling his name to alert him to her presence. He whipped around to face her as soon as she spoke. His eyes were wide and shining, and Rachel wrapped her arms around him.

"Oh, God, Rach," he choked out. His hands came up to grip the material of the shirt she was wearing as he pressed his face into her neck.

"It's okay, Finn," Rachel whispered as she combed her fingers through his hair. "Shh. It's okay."

Finn breathed in her comforting scent and tried to concentrate solely on the way her small hands felt as they smoothed over his back and through his hair. She tugged the blanket up around him and they sat curled up on the floor together for several long minutes.

Finn finally pulled away from Rachel enough to see her face. The gentle smile she was wearing made him feel a million times better. He reached out and cupped her cheek, rubbing his thumb over her smooth skin. She covered his hand with hers and squeezed.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Rachel asked softly.

Finn shook his head. "Not really. I don't…" He sighed and rested his head against her shoulder. "I just don't."

"That's okay." Rachel wished that there was some way—any way—that she could help him. Instead, she just settled for tracing swirling patterns over his back with her fingers. He relaxed into her and shivered a little. "I just really want you to know that if you ever decide to talk, I'm here for you. I'm whatever you need me to be, Finn."

Finn pulled the collar of the shirt back and kissed Rachel's shoulder. He moved his lips up the curve of her neck, until he got to her lips. He pressed a light kiss to the corner of her mouth before he said, "You're everything, Rachel."

Rachel smiled and kissed him fully on the mouth. When she pulled away, she fished his boxers out of his pile of clothes and handed them to him. "How about some breakfast?"

Finn pulled his boxer briefs and his under shirt on. "Something light, maybe. I'm… I'm not really hungry."

Rachel bit her lip as she took his hand and led him into the kitchen. The nightmare must have been truly horrifying if he didn't want to eat. She squeezed his hand tightly before letting go. He sat down at the table and ran his hand through his hair. His face was guarded as he picked at the edge of his cast.

Rachel busied herself with toasting a few pieces of bread. She found some fresh fruit in the fridge and poured them both a glass of orange juice. When she had everything laid out, she sat down at the table next to Finn.

He turned to give her a small smile and took her hand, tracing his fingers over her palm. "Thank you so much, Rachel," he said softly.

"For what?"

"For just… being here. For helping me."

Rachel pressed her lips to Finn's cheek. "Always, Finn."

* * *

Carole and Burt didn't come back to the house until right before dinner. Finn and Rachel were curled up on the couch together, watching some movie that neither of them were really paying attention to. They had spent all day together, exchanging kisses and not really saying anything. They were just comforted by each other's presence, really.

"Hey, you two," Carole said. She put her purse down and shed her jacket, kissing Burt's cheek as he walked by her. "What have you been up to all day? And what is that fantastic smell?"

"Finn and I whipped up some lasagna. We made a large meat lover's and a small vegetarian," Rachel explained.

"Aw." Carole kissed both Finn and Rachel's foreheads. "You didn't have to do that." Before anyone could say anything else, Brady came scrambling into the room. He spared a brief moment to acknowledge Finn and Rachel before he proceeded to jump around Carole's legs, yipping excitedly.

For the first time all day, a chuckle escaped Finn. "Mom, I think my dog likes you more than he likes me."

Carole stooped to ruffle Brady's ears. "He just loves his grandma, that's all. As any grandchild should."

Burt came into the living room and Brady gave an excited bark at his arrival as well. "I just called Kurt and Blaine," he announced as he patted the puppy on the stomach. "They're coming over for dinner."

Both Burt and Carole were being awfully nonchalant about the fact that they had spent all night somewhere else, instead of in their house. Rachel and Finn were both wondering if they had come home at all the night before. They shared a look and silently agreed not to ask, because that would involve getting into what, exactly, they had done last night. And neither of them really wanted to talk about that with Carole or Burt.

But neither Burt nor Carole mentioned anything about the previous night. Carole made a quick salad and Burt turned on ESPN. He got a beer for himself and offered one to Finn, who politely declined it. Nodding his head, Burt launched into a discussion about baseball just as Rachel's cell phone rang.

Rachel pressed a quick kiss to Finn's lips as she stood and dug for her phone through her purse. She checked the caller ID and saw that it was her father before answering.

"Hi, Papa!" she greeted cheerfully.

Leroy chuckled. "Hello, my little star. You're sounding awfully chipper this evening."

"I'm in a good mood, Papa. Finn and I are having dinner tonight with Burt, Carole, Kurt and Blaine."

"That's nice," Leroy said. "And… did you have fun with Finn last night?"

Rachel's cheeks flushed. "Finn and I had a wonderful time."

"You know, maybe Finn should come over for dinner tomorrow night. We haven't really talked to him in a long time."

"Papa!" Rachel rolled her eyes, even though her father couldn't see her. "I'm not in high school anymore. You don't need to do the whole terrifying father routine. And it's not like you don't know Finn already."

"Princess, you're my little girl. I'll always have to do the terrifying father routine," Leroy said seriously. "And your daddy and I haven't seen Finn in five years. If he's going to be dating you again, we need to have dinner."

Rachel sighed, but she knew that her papa was right. Besides, Finn and her fathers had always gotten along well. There wasn't any reason to suspect that dinner wouldn't go well. "Alright, Papa. Just promise that you'll be nice to him."

Leroy laughed. "Despite what you've always thought, your daddy and I have always liked Finn. It'll be nice to see him after all this time. I know that your dad wants to see him, as well."

"Alright, I get it, Papa. You want to see Finn." She paused when she heard the front door open again. Brady barked loudly at the newcomers in greeting. "It sounds like Kurt and Blaine just got here, so I have to go."

"Okay. I love you, princess."

Rachel smiled. "I love you too, Papa."

As Rachel hung up, she felt a pair of strong arms wrap around her waist. Finn rested his chin on her shoulder and pressed a kiss to her cheek. "Is everything okay?"

"Everything is fine," Rachel said. "That was just my papa. He wants you to come over for dinner tomorrow night."

Finn didn't look very surprised or afraid by that piece of information. It must have been all of that military training. "Sure."

Rachel gave him an incredulous look as she turned around in his arms. "Finn, if the next words that come out of your mouth are "it sounds like fun," I might have to ask if you're on something."

Finn chuckled. "I never said that it sounded like fun, Rach. I just said that I'd go."

Rachel giggled. This conversation was pretty similar to the first one they had when Rachel's fathers had invited Finn over for dinner. That dinner had gone pretty well, despite Leroy trying to scare the crap out of Finn.

"Maybe I can talk them into making your favorite food for you."

"Rach, I want this dinner to go as smoothly as possible. I will eat whatever they put in front of me without complaint." Rachel laughed again, but Finn was remembering the last time he had talked to Rachel's fathers. While the conversation ended on a somewhat good note, Finn wasn't sure how they would feel about him coming back into her life.

Finn was pulled out of his musings when Rachel stood up on her tiptoes and pressed her lips to his. He relished the feel of her kiss as he pressed her against the wall, his hands at her waist and his tongue in her mouth. Rachel moaned and Finn felt his pants tighten.

"Rach, you can't do this to me now," he mumbled as he pulled away.

"Do what, Finn?" Rachel asked innocently.

Finn groaned and buried his face in her neck. "That's not fair."

"You're the one who pressed me against the wall, Finn. I'm just returning the favor."

Finn wrapped his arms around Rachel and hugged her tightly to him. Rachel smoothed her hands over his back, tracing her fingers over the bandages under his shirt. Within another week and a half or so, he should be well enough to have the bandages off.

Rachel tapped his cast. "Two or three more weeks, and you might be able to have this off."

"Yeah, I guess so." Finn's eyes found her signature, and he smiled. "What makes you say that?"

"Nothing." Rachel shrugged her shoulders. "I just… I miss the feel of both your hands on me. That's all."

Finn groaned, but he managed to string together a few words for a comeback of his own. "That sounds like a physical therapy I would enjoy."

Rachel's eyes darkened and she gripped the neck of his shirt, pulling him down to her lips again. Their kiss only lasted for a few moments before Carole's voice reached them.

"Finn, why is your wallet behind the couch?"

* * *

"Hey." Finn looked up to see Burt come out of the house with a beer for himself and a bottle of water for Finn. He accepted the water with a nod of his head as Burt settled into the chair next to him.

Burt's voice was conversational as he spoke. "Wanna tell me about your sudden aversion to beer? Not that it's a bad thing, or anything like that. I'm just curious."

Finn picked at the label on his water. "I don't… I just… Look, Burt. I have a lot of problems."

"And you're getting help. Your mom and I are so proud of you, Finn."

Finn gave him a small smile. "Thanks." He paused, looking up at the starry sky before he continued, "It would be easy, you know? To take a drink and not stop. To make all the memories and nightmares stop for a while. I've thought about it a lot. But then I think about you, and Mom, and Kurt, and Rachel… and I just can't. I don't want to end up like my father. I don't want to turn to a substance to keep away the pain. I won't tempt myself that way."

Burt put his bottle down and turned to face Finn. "It takes a strong, brave man to admit that, Finn. And I just want you to know… Things might not have turned out the way I expected them to, but I am so proud of you. So, so proud of you."

Finn swallowed hard against the sudden surge of emotions. Chris Hudson would always be his father, no matter how angry Finn was at him at the moment. But still… "Burt… is it okay if I think of you as my father sometimes?"

Burt chuckled and stood up, his eyes shining. Finn stood up as well, and they embraced at the same time. "Finn, I never tried to replace your father," he said. "But I'm honored if you consider me that."

They both got a hold of their emotions and turned to look towards the window. They could see Carole at the sink, washing dishes. Rachel was right next to her, drying them. Kurt was standing behind them, gesturing wildly with his hands as he told a story and Blaine looked on fondly from his spot at the kitchen table. Brady was jumping around Kurt's feet, and both Burt and Finn could hear the puppy barking, interspersing with Kurt's words.

Finn's smiled. "That's kind of perfect, isn't it?"

Burt clapped Finn on the back. "It is. It really is."

* * *

**Author's Note: More smut, fluff, and angst (but not bad angst) on the way… probably all at the same time, if that's possible. Thanks for reading!**


	19. the better part of me

**Author's Note: I am so honored to hear how much you all love this story. It really means a lot! I figured I would update now, given that the premiere of season four just happened. This might distract you from certain aspects of it, hopefully. The flashback is in italics. The song used in this chapter is "Faithfully" by Journey. This chapter title is from "Superman (It's Not Easy)" by Five For Fighting.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own it.**

* * *

"What do they call it? That feeling you get when you've done something before?"

Rachel tilted her head back to give Finn easier access to her neck. She knew that she should push him away, just in case he left a hickey, but it felt too good. "Déjà vu?"

"Yeah," Finn breathed as he gently bit down on her pulse point. "That. I feel like we've done this before."

Rachel giggled and tightened her fingers in Finn's shirt. "That's because we have. The last time you had dinner at my house, we spent half an hour hiding from my dads and making out."

"Oh." Rachel could feel Finn smirk against her neck. His kissed his way up the column of her throat and across her jaw. "That's right. I vaguely remember almost getting caught that time."

"And you're really pressing your luck tonight." Rachel pressed a quick kiss to his lips before she gently pushed him away. "We have to set the table."

"Aw, come on, Rach," Finn said with a pout. "We were having so much fun!"

Rachel patted his cheek as she walked past him. She was glad that he was in such a good mood tonight. "And if you're lucky, we'll have some more fun tonight."

She could feel Finn's eyes on her as she walked into the dining room. She heard him mumble "hell yeah" before he followed her. She tried to ignore the heated glances he was sending her as they set the table together, but she wasn't really managing it very well. The lustful darkness in his amber eyes was doing all sorts of funny things to her.

A few minutes later, she and Finn were seated across from her daddy and papa at the dining room table. All was silent save for the clinking of the silverware on their plates. Rachel kept sneaking glances at her fathers, but they both seemed to be in a rather good mood. Rachel turned her eyes to Finn, who was the picture of calm. He caught her gaze and gave her his charming half smile.

"So, Finn," Hiram finally said. "Have you thought about what you're going to do now that you're no longer in the army?"

Finn gave a barely perceptible wince at the mention of the army. Rachel slid her hand onto Finn's knee and gave him a comforting squeeze. He gave her a small smile before he said, "I think I'm going to finish my degree."

Leroy nodded his head in apparent approval. He glanced at Rachel before he asked, "Have you given any thought as to where you'll complete that degree?"

"Papa," Rachel hissed. She and Finn hadn't even come close to talking about it yet. She still had another five whole months until she had to be back in New York City, anyway. They had plenty of time to figure things out.

Leroy looked unconcerned by Rachel's protests. "It's a perfectly valid question, princess," he said.

Finn cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck. "I hadn't really given it much thought." That was a complete lie. Finn wanted nothing more than to head back to New York with Rachel. He just had to make sure that it was what she really wanted.

Leroy nodded his head and Hiram nudged him. Looks were exchanged as they mumbled back and forth to each other for several moments. Finn and Rachel both watched the two men silently. Finally, Leroy dropped his fork and threw his hands up in the air.

"Alright, Finn. Be honest with us. Are you leaving Rachel again or not?"

Rachel gasped and threw her fork down as well. "Papa!"

Leroy held his hand up. "I think I'm allowed to know if this man is going to break your heart again, Rachel. I'm only looking out for you."

Hiram put a placating hand over his husband's. "Leroy, please," he pleaded. "Remember when Finn came to talk to us all those years ago? You supported his decision to put Rachel on the train to New York."

"Yes," Leroy said. "But I need to know now if he's going to do it again. Because I won't support it now."

Rachel was stuck on the last sentence that her daddy had spoken. The words rang loud and clear in her ears as her fathers continued to argue back and forth: _"Remember when Finn came to talk to us all those years ago? You supported his decision to put Rachel on the train to New York."_

She stood up abruptly, pushing her chair back with a loud scrape. Hiram and Leroy stopped their bickering and turned to look at their daughter. Rachel could also feel Finn's eyes on her, but she didn't feel as if she could look at him without bursting into tears.

"You knew?" she whispered.

Hiram and Leroy both paled. They had immediately recognized their slip up, and they both rose from their seats slowly. "Rachel, star…" Hiram said gently.

Rachel put her hands up. "You knew?" she repeated. "You knew that Finn wanted to send me to New York?"

"Rachel—" Hiram began, but his husband interrupted him.

"Yes," he stated bluntly. "We knew. Finn came to talk to us a few days before graduation."

"You knew… and you _didn't tell me?_" Rachel's voice grew louder with each word. She took a step back from the table just in case anyone tried to reach out to her. Her mind was desperately trying to wrap itself around the situation unfolding in front of her.

"Rachel, Finn was just trying to do what was best for you," Hiram said in the same calming voice he had used on his husband just minutes before. "And we wanted to do what was best for you, too."

"What was best for me? _What was best for me?_" Rachel's voice was shrill now. She was slowly losing it, despite the desperate grip she was trying to keep on her emotions. "You heard me crying all night! My heart broke that night, and you didn't do anything to stop it! I cried for days! _I_ was broken!"

The moment she saw her fathers try to come around the table, Rachel took off towards the stairs in a true Rachel Berry storm-out. She ran into her room and slammed the door behind her before she curled up on the bed, folding her legs to her chest.

* * *

Hiram scrubbed a hand over his face. "I'm sorry, Finn," he said as he turned to the young man standing quietly next to the table.

Finn looked troubled for just a moment, but then it was gone. He didn't say anything as he nodded his head. Hiram and Leroy exchanged a look as they all sat in silence for several long, tense moments. Finally, Hiram spoke again.

"We should have told her sooner," he said quietly. "But it was just… it was too hard."

"I think we never should have told her," Leroy stated plainly. "How do you tell your child that you knew their heart was going to be broken, but you also knew it was the best thing for them? It's just something that I don't think Rachel understands right now. Even after all this time."

Finn's face was unreadable as he finally spoke. "Why don't you two go out for a little bit? I'll talk to Rachel."

Without giving Leroy a chance to respond, Hiram grabbed his husband's hand and nodded his head. "Okay. We'll make sure that we're away for a few hours."

Finn nodded his head and made his way towards the stairs. Before he could climb them, however, Hiram called him back. "And Finn?"

Finn turned slowly. Both Hiram and Leroy were smiling. "Yeah?"

"We're glad that you're back."

* * *

Rachel felt the mattress dip behind her and a long, warm body stretch out behind her. Of course it was Finn. She knew that neither of her fathers would dare to come in here. She didn't know whether or not she wanted to yell or cry; she hadn't shed a single tear yet, so she was guessing that she was feeling more angry than anything.

Finn smoothed a hand down her side before sliding it over her waist and pulling her against him. "I'm not sorry that I put you on that train, you know," he finally said.

Rachel twisted to face him immediately. She had to see the look on his face. "Excuse me?"

Finn's face was full of sincerity and compassion and sadness as he spoke. "I'm sorry that I wasted five years without talking to you. I'm sorry that I cut off all contact. I'm sorry for a lot of things. But I'm not sorry that I sent you to New York."

Rachel sat up. "Finn—"

Finn sat up as well and cut her off. "Rachel, New York was your dream. _Is_ your dream. Who am I to stand in the way of that? You're a star, Rachel Berry. I was only going to hold you back."

"No, Finn!" Rachel pushed at his chest in frustration, but Finn didn't budge. "New York was only _one_ of my dreams. Since meeting you, there have been so many other things that I've dreamed of! And guess what, Finn? _You're_ one of those dreams! God, why can't you see that? Why can't you see that I just want you, exactly as you are?"

Before Rachel even knew what was happening, Finn's lips were on hers. She surrendered herself to his deep, passionate, almost desperate kisses as he pressed her into the mattress. Their clothing was quickly discarded and their hands and lips were all over the place. As Finn slid inside of her, Rachel clutched at his back and arched up, frantically trying to get as close to him as possible. Finn linked their fingers together and held them above Rachel's head. Their movements were fast and desperate, yet still somehow perfectly in tune with each other and gentle. It wasn't long before they were both coming, crying out in hoarse voices.

Finn pressed his cheek to Rachel's chest, over her heart. He listened to the steady thumping of her heart as he caught his breath. When he felt that he was fully recovered, he sat up and curled Rachel into his arms.

"You know," Rachel said quietly. "There was something else I didn't tell you about school."

"Yeah?" Finn traced his fingers up and down her naked back in random patterns. He prepared himself for whatever it was that he was going to say. "What's that?"

"There was another reason none of my relationships never worked out." Rachel shifted so that she was fully facing Finn. She cupped his face in both of her hands and smoothed her thumbs over his cheeks. Most of his bruises had faded by now. "I could only imagine a future with you. A wedding, children… all of that. Every time I thought about my future, every time I imagined who was standing next to me… It was always you, Finn. Always."

"God, Rach." Finn choked out. His eyes looked suspiciously misty as his hands covered hers on his face. "You have no idea how good it is to hear that. Ever since high school, that's all I wanted. That's all I needed."

Rachel pulled him forward and pressed a soft, tender kiss to his lips. When she pulled away, she curled up against Finn, burrowing herself into his arms.

As she drifted off to sleep, she could hear Finn quietly singing: _"Oh girl, you stand by me. I'm forever yours, faithfully."_

* * *

"Carole, can I ask you a question?"

Carole smiled warmly at the young woman who made her son so happy. "Of course, Rachel."

Rachel ran her fingers around the mug of tea in front of her. She kept her eyes trained on it as she said, "When Finn joined the army and put me on the train to New York City… did you know?"

Carole grew suddenly quiet. Several long moments passed before Rachel looked up. The older woman was pursing her lips and it looked like she was trying very hard not to cry. Finally, she pressed her fingers under her eyes and cleared her throat.

"No," she finally said. "No, I had no idea. He told Burt and I before the graduation ceremony that the two of you had decided to push the wedding back again. It wasn't until after you left that he finally told me."

_Carole heard the front door open and close. She walked into the kitchen and smiled when she saw that it was her son. "Finn, what are you doing home so early? I would have thought that you'd be out with all of your friends celebrating—" She stopped abruptly as she caught sight of the look on her son's face. "Finn. What's wrong?"_

_ Finn looked up at his mother with red-rimmed, puffy eyes. He wished that there was some way to stop the crying, but there just wasn't. No matter what he did, the tears kept trickling down his cheeks. He didn't even bother to wipe them away as he sank down onto the couch._

_ "Rachel is gone," he said in a quiet, shaky voice._

_ "What?" Carole dropped on the couch next to her son and touched his shoulder._

_ Finn slowly nodded his head. He could still see his beautiful fiancée in her red coat as the train sped away. "To New York."_

_ "Why? I thought she was going to stay for another year. I thought that the two of you were—"_

_ "I did it, Mom." Finn couldn't even look at her as he passed a shaking hand over his face. "I planned it all out. I put Rachel on that train and sent her to New York."_

_ Carole stared at Finn as she tried to wrap her mind around what she was saying. Finally, she said, "I don't understand."_

_ "I sent Rachel to New York." Finn pulled his hand away from his face and finally looked at his mother. "And I joined the army."_

_ It took Carole a second to register Finn's words. But when she did, it felt like a Mac truck had slammed into her. "No! Finn, no! You didn't! Please tell me that it isn't true!"_

_ Finn remained silent as his jaw clenched. The tears were coming faster now as his mother broke down next to him. Her loud cries of denial rang in his ears as she threw her arms around him and held on for dear life, as if that could keep him there forever._

"I didn't exactly handle the news well," Carole continued. "The first time he had talked about joining the army, I knew that telling him about his father would put an end to it. It was cruel and probably very selfish of me, but I had to do it. I couldn't lose Finn like I lost his father."

Carole had tears in her eyes again. She pressed a hand to her mouth as a tear escaped and rolled down her cheek. Rachel reached forward and took her other hand, squeezing tightly. It may not have been necessarily fair or right, but Rachel understood why Carole had chosen to keep the truth from Finn.

Carole pulled her hand away from her mouth. "But I lost him anyway. He joined up, and I could have really, truly lost him forever. But I didn't." Carole allowed a shaky smile to form on her face. "By some miracle, I didn't."

Rachel nodded her head. She had a difficult time putting her own pain into words. But Carole… not only had she lost her husband to a war, there was a chance that she could have lost Finn. Rachel couldn't imagine how terrifying it must have been for her.

"You know," Carole said quietly. "I like to think that Chris was watching over him on that day. I know that it might sound ridiculous to some, but I really think that Chris was looking out for Finn on that day."

Rachel squeezed Carole's hand again. "It doesn't sound ridiculous at all."

Carole's smile was a little bit stronger this time. "I'm so proud of him," she said. "I know that Finn isn't his father, but for a long time I was scared that he was going to end up like Chris. Finn has all the best parts of him, but… the war could have destroyed them both. But Finn goes to his therapy every week. He has Brady, and he's coaching at the footballs summer camp. He's doing things that make him happy."

"I know," Rachel said. "You should have seen it, Carole. Right before the Fourth of July, there was a little boy from the football camp who told Finn that he wanted to be just like him when he grew up. It was one of the cutest things I had ever seen."

Carole wiped the rest of her tears away. "That sounds exactly like my Finny. And do you know what else has helped him?" She squeezed Rachel's hand. "You, Rachel. You've helped him come back."

Rachel looked out the window and saw that Finn and Kurt were arriving home. She smiled as their eyes connected and he gave her a half smile that melted her heart. "He helped me come back, too."

* * *

**Author's Note: Gah! I've gotta say, writing that scene with Finn and Carole took a lot out of me. But I thought it turned out pretty well. Thanks for reading and please let me know what you think!**


	20. so tell me when you're gonna let me in

**Author's Note: As always, thank you for the amazing reviews! This chapter's title is from "Somewhere Only We Know" by Keane.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything.**

* * *

"So are excited for your doctor's appointment?"

Finn looked up at Kurt with a raised eyebrow. "Why would I be excited for a doctor's appointment?"

"Because you can finally get your bandages off! You can wear shirts without looking like you have some sort of growth on your ribs!"

Finn gave his brother a semi-exasperated, semi-amused look. He wasn't too keen on walking around with scars all over his chest. Still, it would be nice not to constantly change bandages all the time. He shrugged his shoulders instead and rubbed the back of his neck.

Kurt knew what Finn was concerned about. "Finn, I wouldn't worry about it," he said gently.

Finn tried to play it off. "Worry about what?"

Kurt put a hand on his brother's shoulder. "No one is going to look at you any differently. You know that, right? The scars don't mean anything."

Finn nodded his head, but he didn't say anything. The scars did mean something. They were a constant reminder of what had happened. Every time he looked at those scars, he would remember how he got them.

"Look, after the doctor's appointment, we'll go get some new clothes for you," Kurt offered.

Finn chuckled. "Kurt, I appreciate the effort, but shopping to make yourself feel better is your thing."

"Fair point." Kurt tapped his chin. "How about we go get a cheeseburger after? I'll just eat a salad, or something."

Finn laughed outright then and clapped Kurt on the shoulder. "That sounds more like it!"

Carole came into the kitchen then, smiling when she saw her two sons talking at the table. She put her hand on Finn's shoulder. "Finn, there's someone at the door for you."

Finn's brow furrowed. "Uh… okay." He got up and went to the front door. Curious, Kurt and Carole followed to watch from a distance. Finn moved slowly towards the door, given how secretive his mother was being about the whole thing. He slowly opened the door and promptly got one of the biggest surprises of his life.

Sergeant Lucas Davis was standing on his front porch. Corporal Nathan James and Sergeant Jack Carter were standing right behind him. Davis smiled. "Hello, Huddy."

* * *

"I'm glad to see that you're doing better, Davis," Finn said. He picked at the label on his water bottle before he looked up and smiled at his three friends.

Davis nodded his head. There was a serious look on his face, full of gratefulness and sincerity. "Thanks to you, Huddy."

Finn shifted in his seat and tried to think of a way to change the subject. He was glad to see his friends, and it was good to know that they were all doing well. Despite it all, he didn't want to talk about what had happened on that day—even with the people who were there.

"How are your boys?" Finn asked.

"They're good," Davis said. He was wearing a big smile now. He pulled a picture out of his wallet and handed it to Finn. There were two blonde little boys, about five and three years old. Settled between them was an infant. Davis pointed to each child. "That's Parker and Dylan. And the baby in the middle is Conner Finn Davis."

Finn smiled at the picture, but then Davis's words suddenly registered in Finn's mind. He looked down at the baby in the picture before looking back up at his friend with wide eyes. "What did you just say?"

Davis nodded his head towards the picture. "My wife had been pregnant with our third when I started our last tour in Afghanistan. She had him a week after I was shipped home. We already knew that we were going to name him Conner, but we didn't have a middle name for him. Finn seemed like the perfect name."

"I… You named your son after me?" Finn was looking at Davis as if he didn't quite believe him. He looked at Nathan and Jack, and they both nodded their heads. Davis definitely wasn't making this up.

"Huddy, you're the reason I was able to return home to my boys and my wife. It's because of you that I could see my son being born. I just… it's my way of saying thank you."

"I…" Finn didn't really know what to say to that. Eventually, he just nodded his head and passed the picture back to Davis. His chest was kind of tight and he felt proud and confused all at the same time.

"I brought my wife and kids down with me," Davis said. "They would really like the chance to meet you."

"I…" Finn couldn't really think of anything to say. But he was saved when he felt his mother's hand on his shoulder.

"Why don't you invite all of your families down?" Carole suggested. "We'll have a barbeque tomorrow. It'll be great to have all of you here."

Davis smiled at the older woman. "That's sounds good." Carole, Davis, Nathan, and Jack exchanged information about the following day. Finn managed to rouse himself out of his shock just in time to say goodbye to his friends.

* * *

"Hey. You've been quiet all day. Is there anything you want to talk about?"

Finn looked down at Rachel and smiled at her. He squeezed her hand before lifting it to his lips to press a kiss to it. "Some of the guys from my team visited today," he revealed.

"Really?" This was the first time that Finn had willingly brought up his time in Afghanistan on his own. "That's nice."

Finn kept his eyes on their entwined hands. "Yeah. Davis and Nathan and Jack came. They're coming over for a barbeque tomorrow. Do you think you can come, too?"

"Of course I can." Rachel squeezed Finn's hand and smiled up at him, even though he wasn't looking at her. She was glad that he was opening up a little bit.

"They're bringing their families, too." Finn grew quiet again. "Davis's wife just had a baby. They named him after me."

Rachel stopped in her tracks. She remembered the article that had come out when Finn had first come home. Lucas Davis was the name of the man he had saved that day. She waited quietly to see if Finn would say anything else as they stood in the park.

Finn started to slowly walk again. "Conner Finn. That's his name."

"That's a wonderful name, Finn," Rachel said.

Finn looked down at Rachel before his eyes went back down to their hands. "Yeah?"

"Finn." Rachel tugged him to a stop again and tucked her fingers under his chin, turning his face towards hers. "You may think that you were just doing your job, but you did something really wonderful for that man and his family." Her thumbs smoothed over his cheeks. "You're a hero, you know. You're definitely mine."

The next thing she knew, Rachel was engulfed in Finn's arms. He pressed a kiss to her neck before he mumbled, "Rachel, you're my hero."

* * *

Kids ran around with Brady in the backyard. They tossed a ball back and forth to amuse both themselves and the puppy, who loved that he was the center of attention. The adults all watched from the deck as Burt grilled some burgers and hotdogs.

Rachel entered the backyard, holding a large salad bowl. Carole caught sight of her first and greeted her cheerfully, giving her a warm hug.

"Finn is on the deck. Here, I'll take the salad bowl and you can go on up."

"Thanks, Carole," Rachel said. She passed Kurt and Blaine, pausing to kiss both on the cheek before she climbed up the stairs. Finn spotted her right away and walked over, greeting her with a soft kiss on the lips. Rachel took his hand, entwining their fingers together. He smiled down at her, his thumb rubbing small circles over the back of her hand.

"Come on, Rach," he said. "There are a few people that I want you to meet."

Rachel was definitely eager to meet the men that Finn had spent the past five years with. She had at least had Kurt, Blaine, Santana, Brittany, and Quinn to help her through their separation. She had also kept in contact with Mercedes, who had a flourishing career in Los Angeles. Finn, on the other hand, hadn't had anyone with him. Rachel didn't know if he had kept in touch with anyone besides Kurt over the past five years. It was nice to know that Finn had several people that he could count on.

"Guys, this is Rachel," Finn introduced. "Rach, these are some of the guys I served with. Lucas Davis, Nathan James, and Jack Carter." He pointed out each man as he introduced them, and he tugged Rachel into his side with the other.

"It's wonderful to meet you," Rachel said warmly. "It's nice to finally put some faces with the names."

"Likewise," Jack said with a smirk. "It's great to finally meet the famous Rachel Berry."

Finn groaned as Rachel's brow furrowed. "Jack," he stated, his voice clearly holding a warning.

All three men rolled their eyes good-naturedly. "Come on. Jack is definitely telling the truth," Nathan said. "You talked about her all the time."

Finn's cheeks were bright red as Davis nodded his head in agreement. "I swear, it seemed as if not a day went by when there wasn't a mention of Rachel Berry."

Rachel looked up at Finn. Her heart was thumping at Jack, Nathan, and Davis's words. Was it really true? Had Finn talked about her and told his friends stories? Honestly, the only time Rachel had ever talked about Finn was when she had been really drunk. And she had eventually told the very first man that she dated about Finn. It had been the reason they had broken up. Even then, through all of her heartbreak, her feelings for Finn had been so very strong.

"I remember the first picture he showed us of you," Jack said. "I was talking about my fiancée, and Nathan and Davis were talking about their wives, and Finn just whipped out this picture of you. He kept it on him at all times. Called it his lucky charm."

Finn rubbed at the back of his neck but said nothing. His grip was still tight around Rachel as she remained tucked into his side. Rachel could feel tears gather in her eyes, but she held them back as Davis started talking.

"He told us about what happened when you graduated from high school." He gave Rachel a soft smile. "We're glad to see that you're back in his life now, Rachel. Despite everything that's happened, we can see that he's much happier now than he ever was."

Rachel's grip tightened on Finn. There were so many things that she wanted to say, but it wasn't a conversation that she really wanted to have with all of those people present. Rachel could see that Finn had the same look on his face, as well.

Before anyone could say anything else, a dark-haired woman came in from the house, cradling an infant in her arms. Davis greeted the woman with a light kiss on the lips. They both turned to face Finn and Rachel.

"Rachel, this is my wife, Brooke," Davis said. "And now that she's finally finished feeding Conner, Finn can properly meet him."

Brooke smiled at Finn. "I just… I really wanted to thank you, Finn," she said. "What you did… it was so amazing. Thank you." She sniffled at the thought of what might have happened to her husband before she placed the infant in Finn's arms.

Pictures were taken, Carole and Brooke cried, Burt and Davis tried to calm their wives down, and even Finn shed a few tears. Rachel stood next to Finn and put her hand on his back, rubbing in small circles as they looked down at the gurgling baby.

* * *

It was after dark when everyone had finally left. Finn and Rachel were just finishing up with the dishes as Burt, Carole, Kurt, and Blaine cleaned up out back. Rachel washed the dishes and passed them to Finn, who dried them and put them away. They worked in a comfortable silence, but the words Rachel had heard from Finn's friends remained in the back of her mind.

Finally, she put the last dish down and turned to Finn. "Finn," Rachel said quietly.

"Yeah, baby?" Finn asked as he dried the dish she had discarded.

"What your friends said today… was it true?"

Finn almost dropped the dish he was holding. His shoulders tensed and he let out a little breath before he slowly turned towards Rachel. He saw that her face was calm, but her eyes held so much pain that Finn almost broke. He had put all of that pain and sadness there, and now he was making it his mission to make sure that she was happy from now on.

Finn took Rachel's hand and went downstairs, into his bedroom. Going over to his closet, he dug around in the back until he had pulled out his uniform. He hadn't touched it since shoving it in there when he had first returned home. He searched through the pockets until he pulled out a battered, dog-eared picture. Without a word, he handed it to Rachel.

She unfolded it and was surprised to find a picture of her and Finn from senior year. It was before he had proposed to her, before they had even slept together for the first time. It had been before anything had come between them, when everything was still perfectly wonderful and happy.

It had been during a Hummel family cookout. Rachel was sitting on Finn's lap. They had originally tried to pose for the picture, but Finn had tickled Rachel's sides at the last moment. She was squealing and laughing, and there was no denying the bright look of utter happiness on her face. Finn had his head thrown back in laughter, but it was obvious in the way he was holding her how much he loved her.

"I took that picture with me wherever I went," Finn said quietly. "Even when I was stateside, I had it. Whenever I left base, I put it in my pocket, here." He covered the area over his heart to demonstrate. "I just felt… closer to you. It really was my good luck charm." His fingers traced the burnt corner of the picture. "I had it with me on the day… the day of the attack."

"Finn," Rachel whispered. She didn't really know what to say to him. But she loved him that much more at his admission. She reached out and took his face in both of her hands, cupping his cheeks. She brushed away the tears that had rolled down his cheeks before she pressed her lips to his.

Finn pulled Rachel into his arms and hugged her tightly. Rachel hugged him in return and was so thankful that they had found their way back to each other.

* * *

**Author's Note: Thank you for reading. I really appreciate the silent readers, and I'd also like to hear from you guys, too! I'd also love to know what your favorite part of this chapter was. Let me know what you think!**


	21. let me hold you while you're falling

**Author's Note: Anyway, in regards to this chapter, I had to re-watch the "Goodbye" scene to write this flashback, and I cried before I started watching it. Ugh. I cut some parts out, so sorry if it's a little choppy (it's a dream, anyway, so, yeah). Admittedly, I couldn't watch all of it without turning into a blubbering baby, so… At any rate, this chapter is going to be pretty heavy duty. All flashbacks are in italics. This chapter's title is from "Ever the Same" by Rob Thomas.**

**Also, on a totally unrelated note, I have a new story up called **_**You Can Take My Breath Away**_**. Please check it out and tell me what you think!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

* * *

_"We're not getting married."_

_ "You don't want to marry me?"_

_ Rachel was so confused, and Finn could see the hurt forming on her face. He didn't want to think about what that beautiful face would look like in a few moments, though._

_ "I want to marry you so badly I can't go through with it," Finn admitted. "The thought of you being stuck here for another year because of me... it makes me sick." He couldn't stand the thought of keeping Rachel from her dream—the one she had before she even met him. He couldn't do it. "You're going to do amazing things."_

_ "Wait a minute." The tears were forming in Rachel's eyes. "Wait a minute—"_

_ "Just listen to me," Finn pleaded, interrupting her._

_ But she talked over him anyway. "Wait a minute. Are you breaking up with me?"_

_ Finn paused before softly saying, "I'm setting you free."_

_ "No," Rachel snapped. "I'm not going. Not without you." But Finn couldn't let her do that. He was just going to hold her back, no matter what she did. He refused to be the reason that Rachel Berry didn't achieve her dreams. She was meant for so much more than Lima, Ohio… and she was meant for so much more than him. It was too bad that she was the only girl he was ever going to love._

_ "I'll go wherever it is that you're going!" Rachel exclaimed._

_ And here it was. The moment of truth. "Fort Benning, Georgia?"_

_ The look of absolute heartbreak on her face was almost enough to make Finn take everything back… almost._

_ "You're joining the army? Are you insane? I can't believe that this is happening right now." Rachel turned and curled into herself as the tears streamed down her face. Finn wanted to reach out and pull her into his arms, but he stopped himself from doing it._

_ "You're going to get on that train," Finn said firmly. "And you're going to go to New York, and you're going to be a star." Because there was nothing else that Rachel Berry was meant for. She was born to be up on that stage. She was born to amaze everyone with her talent. "Without me. That's how much I love you."_

_ "And if we're meant to be together, we're going to be together," Finn said as he took her hands and turned her towards him. "Whether it's in a shoebox apartment in New York or on the other side of the world." She was still crying, but he kept talking._

_ "I love you so much," Rachel gasped out between sobs._

_ "I love you," Finn whispered in return. He would love her forever, no matter what happened between them. And he couldn't resist cupping her face and going in for another kiss._

* * *

With a gasp, Finn jerked awake. He was panting and tears were streaming down his face as sat up and dragged his hands through his hair. The memory of one of the worst days of his life lingered in the back of his mind, and a surge of sadness and incredible anger swept through him at the same time.

Rolling out of bed, Finn saw that it was early in the afternoon. He had slept for much longer than he normally did, and he could pretty much bet that it was because of the horrific nightmare he had just had. Nightmares about his time without Rachel were getting interspersed with the nightmares about the attack more and more often.

A sudden, overwhelming urge to see Rachel suddenly overrode anything else Finn was feeling. He quickly threw on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, jamming his feet into his sneakers as he climbed up the stairs. He snagged his car keys off the counter and took off towards his car without anything to eat or any coffee.

It was finally time to tell Rachel a few things.

* * *

Rachel hummed a song from _Rent_ as fixed her lunch. She still couldn't believe that they had approached her about the part, but she was so excited. It was one of her dream roles, after all.

She moved towards the fridge, thinking about the dinner she was going to have with Finn tonight. Her fathers were out on a business trip this weekend, so she had invited him over. She was going to make dinner and then they would have the rest of the weekend to do whatever they pleased, if Finn wanted to stay. She really hoped that he wanted to, because she wanted him to. She really had come a long way since she had first seen Finn a little over a month ago.

A knock on the door interrupted her musings. Still humming quietly, Rachel wiped her hands on a dish rag and made her way towards the front door. When she opened the door, she was surprised to find Finn standing on the other side.

"Finn?" Rachel stepped back as he walked past her without a word. "What are you doing here? What's wrong?"

Finn paced back and forth in her living room, tugging on his hair as he went. The look on his face was unreadable, but his amber eyes were flashing with a whole myriad of emotions. Rachel reached out and put a hand on his arm.

"Finn," she repeated.

Suddenly, Finn stopped and swiveled around to face her. Grabbing onto her hands, he said, "Rachel… I have some things to tell you."

Rachel's heart was pounding in her ears. She bit her lip and tried to calm herself down. She was having some pretty intense flashbacks of the day he put her on the train. But he had already promised that he wouldn't do that again. And more importantly, she wasn't going to let him.

"When you were in New York, I visited."

Well. That was the last thing she had expected to come out of his mouth.

Rachel blinked at him. Finally, she managed, "…What?"

Finn squeezed her hands. "Kurt kept me updated on all of your auditions. I was so… I was so happy when I found out that you got the part of Elphaba. I knew that you could do it. I was so proud of you, Rach. When it was opening night… I took some downtime and went to see it."

Finn's amber eyes were misty as he spoke. Rachel had to take several moments to register the words that had just come out of Finn's mouth. Suddenly, a memory came to the forefront of her mind from that very night.

_It had been completely exhilarating._

_ Rachel came back from her curtain call feeling better than she had in a long time. She had gotten a standing ovation, her friends and fathers had been in the audience, and they had been her loudest supporters._

_ She paused on the way to talk to her cast members, complimenting them on a good show. She was practically glowing as she made her way into her dressing room._

_ There, sitting on her dresser, was a large vase of pink tulips. Beaming, she walked over to them and checked for a card. She figured that they were probably from her fathers, or maybe even from Kurt. But when she did find a card, all that was on it was a large gold star._

_ Rachel gently touched one of the pink bulbs, rubbing her fingers over the soft petals. A soft smile came onto her face and her heart squeezed in her chest. Somehow, she knew that these weren't from her fathers or Kurt._

"The tulips," Rachel suddenly said with a gasp. When she looked at Finn, she saw the look in his eyes and she just knew. "You sent me the tulips."

Finn slowly nodded his head. "I did."

"You… were there on opening night."

"I was."

The full meaning of Finn's words suddenly hit her. It felt like she had been punched in the gut, or like her heart had been ripped out of her chest. On that night, Finn had been there. He had been so close, and she could have seen him.

"Finn," Rachel gasped. She pressed a hand to her chest as her eyes filled with tears. And despite her best efforts, she couldn't hold them back. They started to roll down her cheeks as she let out another gasp. "Finn, you were there."

Finn reached out to her. "Rachel, I—"

Rachel dissolved into sobs and staggered back. She sank to the floor, her sobs were so powerful. She completely curled in on herself as her body shook and the tears streamed down her face. It felt like she couldn't breathe, she was crying so hard. She hated this. She hated breaking down like this, completely losing it, but she couldn't stop.

Finn's revelation had finally broken the self-control she had had on her emotions. All the anger and sadness she had felt since Finn had left her five years ago suddenly flooded forward. She never really had the chance to show or tell Finn how she felt. It just hurt so much.

Suddenly, she felt Finn's strong arms wrap around her. He pulled her into his chest, threading his fingers through her hair and rubbing her back in large, comforting circles. He held her and rocked her as she cried. Rachel clutched at Finn's shirt and held on to him for dear life. Finally, her sobs subsided enough that she could actually get some words out.

The tears still streamed down her cheeks, and she gasped with the effort of speaking. "Y-you were there. A-and y-you didn't see m-me. You p-p-put me on that t-train and l-let me go. I didn't want t-to let you g-go, Finn. I n-never wanted to let you g-go."

Rachel could feel wetness on her own neck. She pulled back from Finn's chest enough to see that he, too, was crying. The tears were slowly sliding down his cheeks as well.

"You don't get to come back here and pretend that everything is okay," Rachel gasped. She was trying desperately to speak around her tears. "You don't get to pretend that you didn't shatter my heart when you put me on that train. I can't…" Rachel let out another gasping sob and buried her face in his chest again.

"God, Rachel," Finn whispered. "I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I'll never let you go again, I swear. Never, Rachel."

* * *

Rachel didn't know how long she and Finn sat there on the living room floor together, crying. But eventually, they must have fallen asleep. When Rachel opened her eyes, she was still wrapped up in Finn's arms and it was dark out.

Rachel stroked her fingers down his cheek before she stood up and stretched. Her movements caused Finn to wake up as well. He stood and kept his eyes on her, but she didn't say anything as she made her way upstairs and changed into some pajamas.

When Rachel went downstairs, Finn was sitting at the kitchen island. She sat next to him and took his hand. After her break down, she was able to think more clearly about what she wanted to say to Finn.

"I knew that you loved me," Rachel finally said. It had been five years since she said those words out loud, but she swallowed and pressed on. "I knew it, because I could feel it. It took me a long time to realize it, but I knew that you weren't giving up on us when you put me on that train." Finn opened his mouth to speak, but Rachel pressed her fingers to his lips. She wasn't done, and the tears formed in her eyes again.

"But you were giving up on yourself. And that hurt more than anything else. You couldn't see the amazing man that I—and everyone else—could see. You couldn't see that you deserved everything you ever wanted and more. God, Finn."

"Rachel, I was just going to hold you back," Finn said. "You were dreams were so big, but you were going to stay in Lima for another year and I just couldn't let you do that. You're meant for so much more than…" He trailed off and dragged his hand through his hair, closing his eyes.

"You. That's what you were going to say, wasn't it?"

Finn opened his eyes and looked into Rachel's. He was surprised to see the fury burning in them, along with the silent tears that streaked down her cheeks. She grabbed both of his hands in hers.

"You were going to say that I was meant for so much more than you. Well, that's what you're wrong, Finn Hudson. I get to decide what my dreams are—_who_ my dreams are. I've been hoping that you would come back into my life for the past five years, even if I didn't want to admit to myself. Because going to NYADA, being on Broadway… I loved doing those things. But it didn't mean anything if I wasn't happy. And I'm at my happiest when you're with me, Finn. I just am."

Finn pulled Rachel into his arms. She let him hold her for just a moment before she took his hand and led him upstairs. They slowly undressed each other, their hands and lips everywhere. Finn gently laid Rachel out on the bed, stroking his hands down her body. He kissed her as he pressed into her. Rachel rocked against him, meeting him thrust for thrust. Breathy moans and promises slipped from their mouths as they moved together. Finn kissed Rachel's tears away as she arched up, but his mingled with hers anyway. They cried out each other's names as they came.

Completely spent, Rachel pressed her ear over Finn's heart. "I was made for you, Finn Hudson."

* * *

**Author's Note: I figured it was time that Rachel had her breakdown. I promise, this is the last time she'll be crying like that. This chapter definitely had a lot of emotions in it, too. It was difficult to write, given that I'm dreading the fourth episode of this season (I'm excited for Finn's return, however!). As always, thanks for reading!**


	22. you take all of me now

**Author's Note: After that complete and utter BULLSHIT, I couldn't leave you guys hanging. I had to update right away. This is one of my favorite chapters, and hopefully it will soothe the burn a little bit. Seriously, that sucked so much. What crap.**

**I'm so glad that you all enjoyed the last chapter. I was nervous about that one. And I especially love when people say that I'm a true Finchel fan. It makes me feel like less of a spaz to know that I'm not alone! As always, thanks for the amazing reviews. In regards to this chapter, more smut, so yay! This chapter title is from "Hanging by a Moment" by Lifehouse.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything.**

* * *

Finn stared at himself in the mirror.

Finally, he didn't have to wear the bandages anymore. But that meant that he had to see the scars that went all the way down his arm, wrapped around his shoulder, and even went down his chest a little. The skin was pink and puckered and still very sensitive to the touch.

The scar along his hairline was pretty prominent. And with how badly his wrist had been broken, he had to have surgery on it to make sure it healed properly. His body was now decorated with all sorts of scars, and he just felt more uncomfortable than ever.

It was a constant reminder.

He sighed as Brady padded down the stairs and stopped next to him. Finn sat down on the bed and dragged his hand through his hair. Brady jumped up onto the bed and put his paw on Finn's chest. Finn looked down at the puppy and gently combed his fingers through his soft fur.

There were good days and bad days. Today was a bad day. All he wanted to do at the moment was curl up on the bed and go to sleep for a little while.

He knew that he should talk to someone, anyone. But he just didn't feel like moving. That darkness he had been trying so hard to keep away crept up just a little bit more. Brady curled up beside him as Finn's eyes drifted shut.

* * *

_"So you haven't heard from Finn in three days?"_

Rachel shook her head and sighed, running a hand through her hair. "No."

Through the camera, Santana's eyes narrowed into a glare. _"I'll kill him."_

"Santana." Rachel shook her head again. "Kurt says he locked himself in his room and hasn't really talked to anyone."

Concern flashed across Santana's face and she pressed her lips together. _"He's not talking to anyone,"_ she repeated.

"As far as I know."

_"Damn it, Finn."_ Santana shook her head. _"After hearing that he went to go get help, I thought that things were going to get better…"_ As a nurse, she knew about how badly PTSD could affect some people.

"I think they are," Rachel said. "But, uh… Kurt called me yesterday. He said that Finn went to the doctor. He doesn't have to wear the bandages anymore."

_"Huh. Well I guess that explains it."_

"I just… I don't know what to do, Tana. I want to help him, but I don't want to push him. I'm worried that I'll say or do the wrong thing."

_"You can't,"_ Santana assured Rachel. _"He loves you, you know. You just have to be there for him. I'm sure he'll come around eventually."_

Rachel let her friend reassure her. "Thanks, Santana. When did you start giving such good advice?"

_"I've always given excellent advice,"_ Santana said with a smirk. _"You people just never listen to me. And don't go telling anyone, either. I don't need people thinking that I'm their Dr. Phil, or some shit. Besides, I'm way hotter than that guy."_

* * *

Blaine knocked on the door to Finn's room. He didn't hear any sound from inside, but he pushed the door open anyway and walked down the stairs. Finn was sitting at his desk chair in just a pair of sweatpants, throwing a rubber ball across the basement. Brady would chase after it and catch it before bringing it back to Finn.

Brady paused in his little game to greet Blaine with a happy yip. Finn looked over his shoulder to face Blaine, and he got a good look at the burns that went down his left side. Blaine's eyes widened, but the expression on his face didn't change.

"You don't have to pretend like it isn't bad," Finn mumbled. "I know it is."

"It's not that bad," Blaine said. At Finn's skeptical look, Blaine shook his head. "It's not."

"Yeah. Okay."

Blaine sat on the desk across from Finn. "We're worried about you."

"I know."

"Kurt wanted to come down here, but I thought that I would try to talk to you first. He's been a little bit hysterical lately."

"Well… thanks."

"He just wants to help you, Finn," Blaine said quietly. "We all do. I think Kurt is just a little afraid that he'll say the wrong thing."

Finn felt guilty then as he remembered all of the times he had snapped at his brother. "I know he just wants to help, but... sometimes, it's just… it's hard. That's all."

"Look." Blaine leaned forward so that he could catch Finn's eye. "I'm not going to pretend that I know what you're going through. But we just want you to know that we don't think any differently of you. Not because of what happened over there, not because of the burns… not because of any of it. You're still Finn Hudson. And we still care about you just as much as we did before."

Finn nodded his head and dragged his hands through his hair. Finally, he stood up and tugged on a white t-shirt. He stared at himself in the mirror and ran his fingers over the scar on his forehead. With a sigh, he turned back to face Blaine.

"I know that I should talk about it. And I know that I shouldn't worry about it so much. But I just can't help it sometimes. And I just don't want to talk about what happened. It's over and I don't really want to think about it anymore."

"We're not asking you to talk about it," Blaine said. "And if you don't want to, that's fine. I just think you should know that we're here if you ever do decide that you want to talk about anything. Not just what happened in Afghanistan—" Finn flinched at the name, but Blaine continued talking. "But anything at all."

"I know," Finn said quietly. "Thanks." He crouched down to ruffle Brady's floppy ears as the puppy came to sit next to him, offering silent support. He looked back at his brother's boyfriend. "How's Rachel?" he finally asked.

Blaine knew that that question was coming. "She's okay. She's trying to give you your space, but… she's worried about you."

Finn cursed. "I should have called."

"Kurt told her that you went to the doctor's. I think that she understands a little bit."

Finn nodded his head. Of course Rachel understood. She had always understood him. "Do you know where she is right now?"

"She normally helps Mr. Schue out with New Directions right now. She'll be at the high school, in the auditorium."

Finn nodded his head again and started searching for something to change in to. Brady followed Finn around the room, refusing to leave him until he knew for sure that his owner was okay. Blaine started back up the stairs, but Finn's voice stopped him.

"Hey, Blaine?"

"Yeah?" Blaine asked as he turned back around.

Finn finally smiled. "Thanks."

"Anytime, Finn."

Five minutes later, Blaine was sitting at the kitchen table with Kurt when Finn bounded up the stairs in a pair of jeans and a long-sleeved black sweater. Even though it was summer and sweltering hot outside, he wasn't too keen on wearing a short sleeve shirt in public.

He smiled at Blaine and Kurt and then kissed Carole's cheek. "I'll be home for dinner, Mom," he said. "I might bring Rachel, too."

Carole beamed at her son, and Kurt kissed Blaine.

* * *

"You haven't seen Finn, have you, Rachel?"

Rachel shook her head as she shuffled through some music sheets. "I haven't seen him since Monday."

The kids were chattering eagerly behind them. Rachel started passing the music out as Will squeezed her shoulder. He started directing them in their song as Rachel sat back and watched. Her eyes scanned the auditorium, but they widened in shock when she saw a familiar form sitting in one of the rows.

Finn's head dipped in acknowledgement, and she could see his sweet half smile flash across the auditorium. Rachel felt as if a weight had been lifted from her chest. It felt so good to see him smile. Will turned to see what Rachel was looking at and saw Finn as well. A relieved look came over his face as he waved his former student to the stage.

Finn stood up and slowly made his way up the aisle. There was a definite reluctance to his steps, but Rachel held her hand out as soon as he came onto the stage. His shoulders relaxed a little as he took her hand, and she laced their fingers together.

"Kids, I wanted to introduce you to Finn Hudson," Will said. "He was one of the original leaders of New Directions, along with Rachel."

"I love your duets," a sophomore named Katrina gushed. "They were so perfect!"

"You were robbed your sophomore year at Regionals. And at Nationals your junior year," another student, Patrick, said.

"Even when you kissed," Ashley, a junior, said. "It was so romantic!"

Apparently, Will had told his new students all about the original New Directions. Rachel's cheeks flushed at the mention of the kiss, and Finn rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. Will just gave them a smile and shook his head. Finn and Rachel never did anything conventionally.

"Are you still together?" Ashley asked.

Rachel looked at Finn and smiled. "We are," she said.

It was the first time that they had acknowledged their relationship out loud—actually called it what it was—and it made a warm feeling spread in both of their chests. Finn kissed the back of Rachel's hand and smoothed his thumb along her knuckles. The students in front of them thought it was the cutest thing they had ever seen. Will had also told them what happened when they graduated five years ago, and they were glad to see that Rachel and Finn had managed to overcome the obstacles in their life and were finally together.

"Will you sing for us?" Katrina asked. The rest of the students eagerly nodded their heads in agreement.

Finn tensed a little. Rachel squeezed his hand comfortingly, and Will noticed Finn's response. He clapped his hands together and drew his students' attention away from the couple. "Why don't we work on our own songs for today? We'll let Finn and Rachel watch."

An hour later, the practice was over and Finn, Rachel, and Will had gone into the old choir room. Finn looked around the room in amazement. Nothing had really changed. They had gotten some new tiles on the floor, but other than that, everything was exactly as it had been five years ago.

"Well, I'm going to head out," Will said.

Seeing how Finn was still wandering around the room, Rachel said, "I think we're going to stay here for a little while longer."

Will smiled. "Okay. You have the keys. Just make sure that you lock up when you're done."

The two former students said goodbye to Will as he left the choir room and shut the door behind him. Rachel turned to see Finn standing at the trophy case. He was looking at the Nationals trophy they had won their senior year, along with the two pictures displayed underneath it. One was directly after they had won the trophy, and the other was the day they had brought it back to McKinley. Finn's eyes zeroed in on the picture of himself from over five years ago and felt his throat tighten up. Rachel was wrapped up in his arms, and they both looked so happy. Even more than that, the ring he had given her was proudly displayed on her left hand. It hadn't escaped his notice that she didn't wear it anymore. Not that he expected her to, anyway.

"Hey," Rachel said quietly. She came up behind him and took his good hand again in both of hers.

Finn nodded his head towards the picture. "That was a good day."

"It was," Rachel agreed. "And so is this one. Right?"

He smiled and led her over to the chairs. He sat down in what had been designated as his chair their senior year, and his smile grew wider when Rachel sat in hers. He wasn't very sure, but he felt like it could be. "It is," he told her. He squeezed her hand again. "Rachel… I'm sorry."

"Why?"

"I should have called you. I should have—"

Rachel leaned forward and pressed her fingers to Finn's lips. "I'm not going to pretend that I understand what you're going through," she whispered. "But I want you to know that I'm here for you. Whatever you need, I'm here."

Finn closed his eyes. Those doubts were slowly creeping up again, and this time, he felt as if he couldn't stop it. "I don't deserve you, Rachel."

She let out an annoyed sigh. "Are we back to that again, Finn?"

"Rachel, five years ago I was lost. I broke your heart so I could save you from being lost with me. And now I'm broken. What can I give you? What can I do for you? Is there anything else I can give you but myself?"

Maybe this day wasn't as good as he thought it had been. He had hoped, but… It was times like these when the darkness would creep up unexpectedly. All of those doubts would flood Finn's mind. Everything he had ever worried about, anything he had ever been insecure about came back. He was trying so hard, but sometimes he couldn't help but voice his worries. And seeing Rachel again, thinking about her and seeing how perfect she was and how big her heart was… What would she want with a guy who was as broken as he was?

"Can you give me your heart, Finn?" she asked.

"Of course," Finn answered immediately. "It's yours. It always has been."

"Then that's all I need." Rachel got up and kneeled before Finn. He opened his eyes and looked down at her to find her eyes shining with tears and anger. "I don't need anything else but you. And you give me everything, Finn. Okay? _Everything._"

She stood up then and swung her leg over his lap, situating herself on top of him. Leaning forward, she cupped his face and brought her mouth down over his. She locked her fingers in his hair as his hands came up to spread across her back. Rachel slowly began to roll her hips against Finn's as his tongue slipped into her mouth.

Finn started to kiss down her neck, sucking on her pulse point. Rachel slid her hands down his shoulders and arms and around to the hem of his shirt. Her fingers snaked under it, and Finn froze immediately.

Rachel brought his face back to hers and kissed him again, deeply. She ran her hand down his chest and cupped him through his jeans. Finn groaned into her mouth and gripped her waist tightly in his large, strong hands. As she continued to fondle him through his jeans, Rachel slid her free hand under his shirt again.

Finn froze once again, stiffening under her. Rachel pulled back and took his face in her hands. "Finn," she said quietly.

"Rachel," Finn whispered in return. "I don't… I just..."

Rachel pulled back the neck of Finn's sweater, where the burns crept up the left side of his neck. Finn gripped her waist as if to push her away, but Rachel leaned forward and pressed her lips gently to the scar there. She was careful not to put too much pressure on it as she traced her lips over the burn. Finn's head tilted back, but his fingers tightened around her hips.

"Finn," Rachel whispered when she pulled back. "I… I love you."

Finn stared at her with wide eyes. He wasn't sure if he had heard her correctly. "What?"

Rachel licked her lips and stroked her thumbs under his eyes. It was true. She loved Finn. She loved him so much, and she had never stopped loving him. He was everything she ever wanted, and she was never going to let him go again. Trying to forget him hadn't ended well for her.

"I love you," she repeated.

Finn pulled Rachel against his chest and buried his face in her hair. She could feel his tears hit her neck as he held her tightly. "God, Rach," he mumbled. "I love you, too. I never stopped."

Rachel beamed at him and kissed him deeply. Her hands went for the hem of his shirt again, and she tugged on it. She brushed her lips against his ear. "Let me love you, Finn."

He didn't say anything, but he didn't stop her as she pulled his sweater over his head. When she saw the scars that the burns had left, she couldn't help the gasp that escaped her lips. To imagine what Finn had gone through… she didn't want to think about it. It scared her, to think that she had almost lost him. But she hadn't, and he was here, in her arms.

Lifting Finn's arm, Rachel trailed her lips down his scars. She traced her fingertips tenderly down his side, following the markings there.

"You're so brave, Finn," she murmured as her fingers moved over his skin. "I can't imagine what you went through, but I know that you've been trying so hard. And these scars… they just remind me of what an amazing man you are. You're wonderful, Finn. And you're so beautiful."

When she was finished speaking, Rachel looked up to see Finn's eyes shining. She pressed her lips to his again, kissing him deeply. Finn tugged the zipper of her dress down, and Rachel shimmied out of the garment. Finn deftly unhooked her bra, bringing his hands up to cup her breasts.

Rachel moaned and unzipped his jeans, popping the button with one flick of her wrist. Somehow, even though Rachel was still straddling his lap, Finn managed to lift up enough so that she could pull his jeans and boxer briefs off. Rachel stood up and Finn hooked his fingers in the elastic of her underwear, slowly pulling it down. He pressed kisses to her stomach, tracing his tongue around her belly button. His lips drifted down to her hips, and Rachel locked her fingers in his hair and let out a whine. Her knees practically felt like they were about to buckle.

Rachel sat back down on his lap and kissed him again. Finn's hands were everywhere, creating a burning trail all over her body. She arched into his touch, pressing closer to him as she moaned. It took a few moments of fumbling, but Rachel managed to find a condom in Finn's wallet. She slowly rolled it down his length as Finn nipped and sucked at her neck. He groaned into the column of her throat, his hands at her hips again.

Rachel lifted up and sank down onto him. Finn groaned again, and Rachel clutched at his shoulders, letting out a loud moan. She slowly started to roll her hips, and Finn thrust up into her. Rachel's back arched and Finn leaned forward, capturing a nipple in his mouth. Rachel cried out, digging her nails into his shoulders.

"Finn! Oh, God, _Finn!_"

Finn kissed over to her other breast. "Rachel," he breathed. His hips pushed harder up into hers, but Rachel kept her movements slow. He groaned again, his fingers tightening on her waist. He kissed her hard, his tongue plunging into her mouth. Rachel's hips rocked back and forth as she took him in as deep as she could. Finn dropped a hand between them and swiped his thumb over her clit. Rachel's back arched again, and, clutching at Finn's shoulders, she came hard. Finn exploded moments later, holding her tightly as he yelled her name in a hoarse voice.

Both were panting as Rachel pressed her forehead to Finn's. "I love you, Finn," she declared. "I love you."

Finn pressed his lips to Rachel's. "I love you, too. Forever."

* * *

**Author's Note: (Yeah, that was some choir room smut. I went there.) Wow! Well, that was a doozy! I hope that you all enjoyed this chapter. Thanks for reading! Leave some Finchel love!**


	23. tonight it's only you and me

**Author's Note: So I'm going to update now, and then again on Friday (so at least we all have something to look forward to). As always, thank you for the amazing reviews and support for this story. It makes me feel so much better! The song used in this chapter is "Yellow" by Coldplay. This chapter title comes from "Here Without You" by 3 Doors Down.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

* * *

"Well Finn Hudson. Aren't you just a sight for sore eyes?"

Finn smiled when he heard Mercedes's voice. He turned and engulfed the woman in a hug. She laughed and hugged him in return, gently patting his back as she pulled away.

"I hear that you're a big hero now, white boy. I'm proud of you."

Finn tucked his good hand into his pockets and shrugged his shoulders sheepishly. Thankfully, Mercedes was distracted by the arrival of Sam and Rachel, back from baggage claim. The two women hugged while Sam shook Finn's hand.

"That's a nice cast you got there," he said with a chuckle. "And I see some familiar signatures on it, as well."

"I'm assuming that you want to sign it, too," Finn said. Rachel, hearing their conversation, produced a marker from her purse. Finn kissed her cheek in thanks as Sam took the marker excitedly. They little exchange between Finn and Rachel didn't go unnoticed by the other couple, however, and they shared a meaningful look.

"Of course I do!" Sam exclaimed. It was hard, but he found a blank spot and squeezed his name in. He handed the marker to Mercedes next, and she signed on the edge of Finn's cast.

"Finn has another week before he can get the cast off," Rachel said. "I'm really hoping that Artie, Tina, and Mike can get here so they can sign it, too." Before Sam, Mercedes, or Finn could say anything, Rachel suddenly let out a loud squeal and grabbed Mercedes hand. "Is that the ring? Oh my God, it's so beautiful!"

Mercedes beamed as Sam dropped a kiss to her forehead. "Sam did pick a good one," she said.

Finn looked at the grinning couple. "The two of you got engaged?"

"Six months ago," Sam said.

Finn smiled. A thought tugged at the back of his mind; he wished that he had kept more in touch with everyone. Really, all he had were the calls from his brother (and they had tended not to talk about their friends), the occasional letter from Brittany, and his talks with his mom, Burt, and Will. They all knew that there were certain things that Finn hadn't wanted to talk about.

"Congratulations, you two," he said. "That's really great."

"Naturally, I expect you to be one of groomsmen," Sam said as he patted Finn on the back. "And don't even try to say no, because there's no way that I'm going to let you out of it."

They all got into the car, and Finn listened with a small smile on his face as Rachel and Mercedes chatted about her job in Los Angeles. She was a music producer now, and she still sang on a lot of benefit albums. Mercedes was a star and she made stars, too. Sam was a comic book writer. It turns out that he had ended up in California while visiting a friend, and he and Mercedes had met up again. Everything had ended up falling back into place after that, and the two of them had gotten back together.

Kurt and Blaine were already there when they got back to the Hudmel house. Kurt let out the loudest squeal when he saw Mercedes and immediately ran up to her. He hugged her tightly and then grabbed her hand, inspecting the ring.

"We have so much to talk about, Mercedes," Kurt declared. "We have to pick a color scheme, and then you can tell me all about your dream wedding. Don't worry, I'll make it happen."

"Kurt," Blaine said in an amused voice. "Give the woman some time to breathe. She just got here, after all."

"No, let Kurt plan the wedding," Sam said. "That way, all I have to do is show up for the cake testing. That is perfectly all right with me."

They made their way into the house and gushed over Finn's puppy. It felt good to see everybody again, and he couldn't wait until everyone really was all back together.

* * *

"So you and Finn got back together, huh?" Mercedes asked.

Rachel looked up as her friend sat next to her. "Did Kurt tell you?"

Mercedes laughed. "Girl, it wasn't that hard to figure out. You have that shine back in your eyes. The one that only Finn Hudson can put there."

Rachel knew that it was true. Finn just made her so happy. Everything seemed brighter when he was around. Even when he wasn't there, knowing that he loved her was more than enough. She had never known that she was so obvious about it, though.

"How have things been? Kurt said that Finn has had some problems lately."

"We're working on it," Rachel said. "He's trying hard. I'm so proud of him. I think that having you guys come visit definitely helps, though. I think he feels bad that he hadn't talked to anyone in so long."

Mercedes shrugged her shoulders. "I always kind of understood why he did what he did. It was different for Sam and me, but we broke up with each other so we didn't end up resenting one another. Before I left for LA, Sam told me that he was worried that he was going to hold me back. And I wanted him to enjoy his last year of high school without worrying about having a girlfriend all the way across the country, so…"

Rachel nodded her head slowly. Her and Finn's situation was very different from Sam and Mercedes, but she understood what the other woman was trying to say. "It was hard when I first came back. I didn't know that he was going to be here. It certainly threw me for a loop."

"It looks like the both of you managed to get past it. I'm happy for you. You two deserve your fairy tale ending."

Just then, Finn slid his arms around Rachel's waist and pulled her back against his chest. He dropped a kiss to the side of her neck. "What are you two talking about?"

"Nothing much," Mercedes said. "Just about life and love and all those other things that girls talk about when they haven't seen each other in a while."

Sam took a seat on the arm of Mercedes's chair and kissed her cheek. "I just got off the phone with Mike. He said that he and Tina were going to come down for a little bit. They should be here by Saturday."

"I can't wait for everyone else to get back," Kurt said as he joined them on the deck. "New Directions family reunion!"

* * *

After breakfast the next day, Sam and Finn were in the backyard drinking some coffee. Kurt had already taken Mercedes and Rachel out to the mall, and Blaine had tagged along with them. The two men watched Brady run around in the backyard, just enjoying the quiet morning. Finally, Sam turned towards Finn.

"I'm glad that you're back, Finn," he said.

Finn nodded his head once. "I'm glad to be back."

"Man, you really helped me my junior year of high school. I wasn't exactly in a good place then, and you and Rachel helped me come back from that. So if you ever need to talk, or if you just want to hang out, you can call me."

Finn smiled at his friend. "Thanks, Sam. It just… I'm trying." He took it one day at a time, and each morning got a little easier than the last. He took a deep breath and changed topics. "But congratulations on your engagement to Mercedes. That's really awesome, man."

Sam shrugged his shoulders. "When I met Mercedes again in California, I just sort of knew that I was going to marry her. I'm sure that you've had that feeling before."

"I have," Finn agreed. He had known that he wanted to marry Rachel Berry when he was sixteen years old. After they had sang together for the first time, Finn had had a dream about Rachel walking down an aisle towards him, wearing a white dress. He had known it then, and he still knew it now.

"You still want to marry Rachel, don't you?" Sam asked quietly.

"I'll always want to marry Rachel," Finn said. "I want to be with her forever. I'm just scared that… I'm just scared, that's all." He was scared that Rachel thought he was going to break her heart again. He was scared that Rachel was going to realize that she was so much better than him and leave him. He already tried living without Rachel, and he knew that he couldn't do it.

Sam patted Finn on the shoulder. "Don't be scared. You're together now, aren't you? You love her, and I know that she loves you. Just give it a little bit of time. Trust me when I say that Rachel Berry wants to spend the rest of her life with you."

* * *

"Daddy. Papa."

Hiram and Leroy looked up as Rachel entered the living room. They both said hello to their daughter, and they were surprised when she sat down in the armchair across from them. Ever since the night they had dinner with Finn, Rachel hadn't really talked to her fathers. She didn't say much besides the occasional greeting and casual question.

"Hello, little star," Hiram greeted carefully. "How are you doing?'

"I'm alright," Rachel said. She fell quiet and just watched her fathers, waiting to see what they would say next. Hiram and Leroy looked at each other, having a silent conversation. Finally, Leroy turned towards Rachel.

"How is Finn?" he asked.

"He's doing well," Rachel said. Her eyes lit up just at the mention of his name. "He's really trying. I'm so proud of him." She ran her fingers through her hair before she said, "I think I understand why you didn't tell me."

Hiram got up and went to one side of the armchair. "Rachel, you have to know that—"

Rachel held her hand up, cutting her daddy off. "I would have made you take me to him right away. I would have demanded to stay in Ohio. I would have done a lot of things. But… I think part of me understands why Finn did what he did. I hate it, and I still wish that he would have come to New York with me, but…" She shook her head slowly.

Leroy went to the other side of the armchair. "Honey, I think Finn did the right thing." Rachel turned to glare at him. He cut her off before she could say anything, however. "I know that it hurt. But Rachel… He loved you enough to let you go. Don't you think that says something?"

Hiram nodded his head. "That's real love, Rachel. Sacrificing everything to make sure the person you love is happy." He took his daughter's hand and squeezed comfortingly. "And real love is also believing that you'll find your way back to each other. Finn never gave up on that."

Rachel nodded her head again. She stood up and hugged both of her fathers. She may not have liked or agreed with what had happened. In fact, she would probably never be okay with it. But she understood.

* * *

Rachel curled up on her bed and dialed the number she knew by heart. Even after five years, that number hadn't changed. She was glad that she no longer felt the temptation to fight dialing that number.

"Hello?"

"Finn?"

"Rachel, baby." Finn could hear the slight distress in Rachel's voice, and he was immediately concerned. "Is everything okay? Do you need me to come over?"

Rachel tucked herself under the covers and held the phone closer to her ear. "No, it's okay," she said. "I just… I really wanted to hear your voice. That's all."

"I love you, Rachel," Finn said warmly. "You know that, right? I've always loved you. I never stopped."

He was saying exactly what she needed to hear. How he always seemed to know what she needed, she would never know. She just supposed that it was their tether. "I know that. I love you too, Finn. Forever. Even when you weren't there, I loved you. I just didn't want to admit it to myself."

"I know." Finn's voice was heavy. "I know that, and I'm so sorry."

"It's okay," Rachel whispered. "I think I understand why you did it. At least a little bit." She sighed and plucked at the edge of her blanket. "Finn, do you ever wish that it could have been different?"

There was a long moment of silence. The only reason she knew that he was still on the line was because she could hear his quiet breathing. "Sometimes I think about it," he admitted. "But when it comes right down to it… I wouldn't change a thing."

Rachel nodded her head even though Finn couldn't see her. She kind of figured that he would say that. "I really love you," she said again. Because she did. What else could she say? It was the greatest feeling in the world, knowing their tether was still—and always would be—intact.

"I love you too, Rachel. And we found our way back to each other. I always knew that we would."

Rachel finally smiled. "Finn?"

"Yes, baby?"

"Will you sing for me?"

There was another long pause. Then, she heard, "_Look at the stars, look how they shine for you. And everything you do._"

Rachel fell asleep to the sound of his beautiful voice.

"_Your skin, oh yeah your skin and bones turn into something beautiful. Do you know? You know I love you so. You know I love so._"

* * *

**Author's Note: So there was a lot of conversing in this chapter. I have to say, though, my favorite part was at the end, when Finn and Rachel were on the phone. Thanks for reading!**


	24. i would offer you a warm embrace

**Author's Note: Wow! Over 200 reviews? You guys are amazing! I'm so in awe of the support for this story. When I started this, I hadn't imagined the response I would get. Thank you so much!**

**You know, after this past episode… I'm satisfied, in a way. I think that Finn and Rachel need the time to find their dreams and their passions, and then they can come back together. You know, let the universe do its thing. That's the direction I tried to take with this story. They grew into themselves and they found their dreams, and then they found their way back to each other. I tried to stay as realistic as I possibly could. So, you know… I have hope.**

**So this chapter is angsty, but not in a bad way, if that makes any sense. The flashback is in italics. This chapter title is from "To Make You Feel My Love" by Garth Brooks.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own it.**

* * *

Rachel's phone blaring right next to her ear woke her up.

She jumped and reached for the phone. She remembered falling asleep listening to Finn's voice the night before, and a smile touched her lips. She answered the ringing phone, still feeling as if she was half asleep.

She yawned as she muttered, "Hello?"

"Rachel?" Finn's voice, tired and heavy, reached her. She sat up in bed, instantly more awake as she detected the underlying stress in his tone.

"What's wrong, Finn?"

Finn's tone suddenly changed, hardening. He cleared his throat. "Nothing. I'm sorry I called you—"

"Finn. Please talk to me."

He sighed and his voice broke a little. "Can you come over here please?"

Rachel was already getting out of her bed. "I'll be there in five minutes."

* * *

Rachel used the key hidden under one of the flower pots to let herself into the Hudmel abode. The house was quiet as she walked in, and she made her way down the stairs as silently as she could. Finn was sitting on the edge of his bed, his head in his hands.

Rachel stopped at the foot of the stairs. "Finn?" she called quietly, alerting him to her presence.

He looked up, his eyes wide and glassy. Rachel's heart broke for the man she loved. Within seconds, she was across the bedroom and pulling Finn into her arms. She held him against her, pressing his head to her breast as her fingers combed through his hair. Finn, despite his large size, curled up against her, relaxing into her embrace.

Several long minutes passed. Finn eventually wrapped his arm around Rachel in return, burying his face into her chest. Rachel stroked her fingers through his hair and down his back, hoping to sooth him with her touch. Finally, Finn tilted his head up towards her.

"I had a nightmare," he admitted quietly. "But it wasn't like my usual ones."

Rachel's heart clenched at the way he described his nightmares. She hated that this was something that he had to deal with every night. There wasn't a tangible way she could help him fight against them.

Rachel nodded her head instead of pressing him to explain. She brushed her fingers over his furrowed brow, attempting to smooth it out. He nuzzled against her hand and tightened his arms around her.

"You were in my nightmare," Finn whispered. "But I was back in Afghanistan. I had a nightmare about the attack, but… you were there, Rachel." A tear rolled down Finn's cheek, and it was quickly followed by another. "You were there, and I couldn't save you. I tried so hard, but… God, Rach."

Rachel was at a loss for words. She knew that Finn's nightmares were bad, but she had no idea that he had been dreaming about her. And about her being hurt, no less. Finn was going through so much, but he was worrying more about her. It just showed how amazing and selfless he was, and she loved him all the more for that.

She could feel his tears wetting her chest as he cried silently. His body shook a little against hers, and she held him tightly, trying to reassure him. She bent her head, brushing her lips across his forehead. After several more minutes, she sat up and pulled Finn up with her.

Without saying anything, Rachel pulled Finn into the bathroom. She turned on the water, cranking up the heat. Steam quickly filled the room as Rachel pulled Finn's pajama pants down. After making sure that his cast was covered, she guided him into the shower and then stripped her shorts, t-shirt, and undergarments off. She stepped in behind Finn, wrapping her arms around his waist and pressing her cheek to his back.

"I love you, Finn," she whispered. He was having dreams about losing her in the attack, but in reality, _she_ could have lost _him_. It had been too close of a call. And she never would have seen him again, and they never would have reconciled. If he had died in the attack, she would never have been in his arms again, or kissed him, or felt his strong body over hers, or felt his heartbeat under her fingers. She wouldn't have been able to see his gorgeous smile, or hear his beautiful voice, or talk with him, or just sit with him…

Rachel shook her head. She couldn't think like that. It hadn't happened, and Finn had come home, and they were together. It had worked out in the end.

She started brushing kisses over his back, trailing her lips from his left shoulder to his right. Her hands rubbed up his chest, fingers massaging and stroking. Her tongue snaked out to briefly taste the skin at his shoulder before she kissed him again.

Before Rachel knew what was happening, Finn had her pressed against the shower wall with his fingers between her legs. A wanton moan escaped Rachel as she clutched at his shoulders and wrapped her legs around his waist. Finn's mouth came down on her neck, nipping and sucking. Rachel's hips rocked as Finn slid his fingers into her, his thumb brushing against her nub. Rachel moaned again, tilting her head back against the tile wall.

"_Finn,_" she gasped.

"Come on, baby," Finn murmured against her throat, his voice deep and husky. "Come for me." He wanted to watch her fall apart in his arms, hear the beautiful noises she made as she came. His fingers curled, and he pressed just right against her and she was shuddering as she came hard.

Still keeping holding her up against the wall, Finn dropped a kiss to her shoulder. "I love you," he said softly.

Rachel's legs tightened around his waist and she shifted so that his hardness was rubbing against her core. Finn groaned, his lips pressed to the side of her face. She lifted up, about to slide down onto him, but Finn tightened his grip on her hip.

"Rach," he groaned. "I don't…"

Right. No condom. Well, he was in luck, but she had started on new birth control before she had left New York and finally thought she had been using it long enough. She slid her arms around his neck as the water pelted down over them, pulling him towards her for a kiss.

"It's okay," she whispered against his lips. "_Please_, Finn."

He didn't need any more encouragement after that. He slid into her and both of them cried out at the feeling of nothing between them. They moved together, Finn pressing hard into her, his hand gripping her hip tightly. Rachel actually clawed down his back, the feeling was so good. He bit down on her shoulder, and it wasn't long before she fell apart under him, fingers tangled together. Finn supported her against the wall as she went boneless, and she could feel him pulsing into her.

They stayed like that, the water trickling over them, for several long minutes. Finally, Finn dropped a kiss to the bite mark he left on her shoulder, his tongue soothing against it. He set Rachel on the ground, giving her a sheepish half smile.

Rachel stood on her tiptoes and sweetly kissed his cheek. "Feel free to do that anytime you want," she said with a wink.

Finn let out a quiet chuckle and hugged her to him, smoothing her wet hair back as he pressed a kiss to her forehead. Rachel pressed her ear to his chest, listening to his strong, steady heartbeat. It was calm now, instead of how erratic it had been when she had first arrived.

Rachel felt a soapy cloth moving gently down and around on her back. She pressed a kiss over his heart and then stepped back, allowing Finn to continue washing her. When he was finished, she did the same for him.

Without putting their clothes back on, Finn and Rachel climbed back into the bed. Rachel curled herself around Finn and he wrapped his arms around her, stroking his fingers over her skin. It was like he was trying to reassure himself that she was there in his arms… that he wasn't trapped in one of his nightmares.

Brady hopped up at the foot of the bed and curled up at their feet. Rachel and Finn lifted their heads to look at him; the puppy looked right back at them with a "what are you going to do about it?" look on his face. Finn and Rachel looked at each other before they both dissolved into laughter. Brady let out a little yip, but they only laughed harder.

* * *

Kurt was still whining about how finding Finn and Rachel naked in bed was going to scar him for life.

A few hours after Rachel and Finn had gotten out of the shower, Kurt came barreling down the stairs, yelling loudly that breakfast was ready. He had promptly let out a loud shriek upon seeing his brother and best friend in bed together and clapped a hand over his eyes, claiming he was blind. Neither Finn nor Rachel was thrilled at being yanked from their peaceful sleep.

Finn rolled his eyes. "I've told you that you should knock before you come into my room, but you didn't listen to me. So it's your fault."

"You should have locked your door!" Kurt retorted.

Finn messed up Kurt's scarf. "You still should have knocked."

Kurt gasped and started hitting his brother with the pillow. Finn snagged a pillow for himself and started whacking Kurt with it in return, causing the smaller man to start yelling. He ran around the living room and Finn laughed before he chased his brother. Rachel and Blaine watched in amusement as the brothers continue to play-fight.

"Remember when I was broken up with Kurt?" Blaine suddenly said quietly.

Rachel's head snapped towards Blaine. "What?"

Blaine nodded his head. "Do you remember when Kurt and I weren't together?" he repeated.

It seemed as if Blaine wasn't going to drop this. "Yes," she finally said.

"Remember when we went out for coffee?"

Rachel nodded her head again. She knew exactly what conversation he was talking about.

_Rachel hugged Blaine tightly when she saw him. They met for coffee at least once a week. Just because he and Kurt had broken up didn't mean that he and Rachel couldn't be friends. They had grown pretty close during their time together in New York._

_ "How are you?" Rachel asked as they sat down. Blaine already had her regular tea order for her, and he slid the cup towards her. She accepted it with a grateful smile._

_ Blaine shrugged his shoulders. "I'm okay. Classes have kept me busy." He let out a quiet sigh before he smiled. "What about you?"_

_ Rachel looked down into her tea and tried to keep her face as neutral as possible, but it wasn't really working. Blaine reached over and took Rachel's hand, squeezing tightly._

_ "What happened, Rachel?" he asked._

_ Rachel looked up at Blaine before she quietly admitted, "I think Kurt was talking to Finn last night."_

_ "Rachel." Blaine squeezed Rachel's hand again. It was still a touchy subject for her. It had only been a little over a year since Finn had put her on the train to the city, and she hadn't heard from him since then._

_ "I just… I have a date tomorrow night, Blaine. I can't keep thinking about this… thinking about him. He hasn't talked to me in over a year." She thought that if she kept saying it out loud, she might convince herself._

_ "Rachel…" Blaine repeated. He looked thoughtful for a moment before he said. "Is this guy you're going out with in one of your classes?"_

_ Rachel nodded her head. They shared a dance class, and he was a charming upperclassman. She hadn't had a reason to say no to him when he had asked her out (for the fourth time, no less)._

_ "Don't take this the wrong way," Blaine started slowly. "But… why are you giving up on Finn?"_

_ Rachel snatched her hand back from Blaine's. "What?"_

_ "You're giving up on Finn," Blaine stated bluntly. "You're going out with other guys, you refuse to talk about him… you're giving up."_

_ Rachel's temper was quickly rising. "He told me to surrender. He let me go, not the other way around."_

_ "But you're letting go right now. You haven't tried to contact him, either. At least, not since the first couple of months."_

_ "He let me go," Rachel repeated. "What am I supposed to think?" When Blaine opened his mouth to say something, Rachel held her hand up. "Is it so bad for me to want a relationship? To want someone to want me?" She didn't bother to say that she still wanted all of those things with Finn._

_ Blaine took both of her hands, refusing to let them go. "Why do you think you can have it all with a guy that goes to NYADA?" he asked gently. "Why is it that you think that you can't have it all with Finn? Just because he's not here right now doesn't mean you can't have it all with him. Because you can."_

_ Rachel could feel tears burning in her eyes, but she blinked them back. Blaine made a very valid point, but… it just hurt too much._

"I do," Rachel finally said after a long moment. "I remember."

Blaine's face broke out into a large grin. "We're here, Rachel. We have it all."

It was then that Finn looked up at her and caught her eye. He gave her that adorable half smile, his dimples peeking out despite the fact that Kurt was struggling against the headlock he had him in. Rachel laughed and winked at him, blowing him a kiss.

"We do," she agreed.

Blaine hugged Rachel quickly before he said, "Hey Finn, would you mind letting my boyfriend go?"

"Finally!" Kurt yelled. "It's about time you helped me!"

Finn chuckled as he let his brother go. He walked over to Rachel, pulling her into his arms and pressing a kiss to her forehead before he dropped another one to her lips. His fingers stroked through her hair. It was almost as if he knew she had been thinking about a sad time in her life, and he was trying to make it go away with his kisses and soothing touch. It was working.

"Love you, Rach," he murmured against her lips.

Rachel slid her hands over his. "I love you, too, Finn."

They walked into the kitchen, hand in hand. "Want to tell me what you're thinking about?"

Rachel squeezed his hand. "Having it all."

* * *

**Author's Note: I'm trying to ease up on the angst, since it's been pretty heavy the last couple of chapters. Thanks for reading!**


	25. we shall overcome

**Author's Note: Thanks for all of the amazing reviews last chapter. You guys are fantastic! The song used in this chapter is "Faithfully" by Journey. The chapter title comes from "Love Remains the Same" by Gavin Rossdale.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything.**

* * *

"Coach Finn, Coach Finn! I need your help!"

Finn knelt down next to the little boy and took the football from him. He patiently explained how to toss the ball properly, and the little boy nodded his head. After another moment, Finn encouraged him to throw the ball. The boy nodded his head and then tossed the ball, beaming when it soared to his teammate.

"Thanks, Coach Finn!" he exclaimed as he hugged the tall man around the legs. Finn chuckled and patted his head. He looked over his shoulder then and found Rachel watching him. With a wide grin forming on his face, he sent her a wink. Rachel blew him a kiss in return, and he pretended to catch it.

"It's nice to see him smile like that again," Beiste observed.

A grin that matched Finn's spread across Rachel's lips. "It really is."

"You know…" Beiste shook her head. "The two of you always amazed me. It was a high school love, you know? You and Finn. But I don't think I've ever seen a couple love each other as much as you two do." She looked out, where Finn was now directing the kids in a small game. "He was not the brightest boy at times. The two of you hurt each other repeatedly, frankly."

Rachel winced, but she nodded her head in agreement. She and Finn had hurt each other over and over again in high school. But they always managed to get past it, and each time was better than the last. Rachel was really hoping that this was the time that was going to last beyond all the others… forever, hopefully. She found herself thinking about it more and more often. And in her heart, she knew that it was.

Beiste continued speaking. "But you were both in high school. I've had yet to meet a boy in high school who wasn't completely stupid and didn't think with the wrong head." Rachel laughed at that comment, and Beiste smiled. "It's true. And you were insecure about every aspect of your relationship. But high school is all about navigating through that and finding yourself. And by the end of your senior year, both of you had finally found yourselves. Now you're a Broadway star with a Tony award and Finn is going to be teacher, and you're together again."

"We're together again," Rachel repeated. They were, and it was beautiful. It was as if everything had finally fallen into place. She did believe that she and Finn were meant to be, but she didn't think that destiny had anything to do with it. They were just made for each other in every way possible.

Beiste looked over at her. "Five years ago, did you think that this was where you were going to end up?"

"Not really," Rachel admitted. "But I had always hoped."

* * *

"It has been too long since we've had a girl's night, my darling diva," Kurt said. He held the carton of vegan ice cream out towards her, and Rachel dipped her spoon into it. "I've missed this."

Finn and Blaine were off watching a game with Burt somewhere. Kurt and Rachel had retreated back to the Berry house and decided to have a night in, complete with all of their favorite musicals, snacks, and facials. Mercedes and Sam were visiting his parents for the night, but they would be back when Tina and Mike arrived the next day.

"It's true," Rachel agreed. "We haven't done this since before we left New York."

"Gossiping about boys and singing along to our favorite movies," Kurt said. He nudged Rachel in the side playfully. "And it's been so long since you've had a boy to gossip about!"

"That's hardly fair, Kurt. I was busy with _Wicked_ and—"

"—and you were still completely and totally hung up on my brother and just didn't want to admit it to yourself." He grinned at her. "It's okay, Rachel. I understand."

Rachel's cheeks flushed. "Kurt."

"What?" Kurt looked unapologetic. "I can finally say everything I've been thinking about for the past five years. It's not like it wasn't true, Rachel. You never completely let go of Finn, no matter how hard you tried. The first time the two of you sang together, you gave him your whole heart and you never got it back."

Rachel looked down into the ice cream carton. It was true. She never did get her heart back from Finn Hudson, no matter how hard she had tried. He had a firm grip on it, and the tether that connected them was too strong. Maybe it was crazy to feel that way, especially given how young they were. But sometimes, there were certain things that you just knew. Kurt Hummel was the most fashionable man in New York City. Santana Lopez was fiercely loyal, no matter what. Rachel Berry was going to be on Broadway. Finn Hudson and Rachel Berry would love each other forever. It was just one of those things.

"Sometimes, back in high school… I wondered if I was really ready to marry Finn," Rachel admitted quietly. "I _wanted_ to. That wasn't the problem. We were just so young, then. I was constantly afraid that I was going to ruin it. I was terrified that I wasn't going to be a good wife, or something like that. But it's different, now. I love him so much, and now we've…" She trailed off, biting her lip in thought.

"You're grown up," Kurt finished. The same thing had happened between him and Blaine. They had a chance to grow up, find out who they were without the other. It hadn't been easy at first, but it was that much better now.

"We are. We know what we want, we have our dreams, and now we know that we're not going to get in the way of that."

"That's what worried Finn the most, you know. He was worried that he was going to stand in the way of your dreams."

Rachel shook her head vehemently. "He wouldn't have, despite what he and everyone else might have thought. I'm confident that I still would have ended up on Broadway and still would have won my Tony if Finn and I had been together in New York. But I love him differently, now. It's almost like I love him… more. That my heart can't really contain it, I love him so much." She closed her eyes briefly. "My daddy said something to me a few days ago. He said that real love was sacrificing everything to make sure that the other person is happy, and believing that you'll find your way back to each other."

Kurt reached for Rachel's hand and squeezed it. "That sounds about right. You know, Rachel, I don't think you ever stopped believing, either."

"I don't think I ever really did," Rachel said quietly. She smiled then, a full Rachel Berry beam. "I've always known that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with Finn, but it's almost like I can taste it now. It practically feels tangible. Every time I imagine my future, it's with Finn."

Kurt grinned at her. This was exactly what he had been hoping to hear. "With little Finns and Rachels running around?"

Rachel didn't hesitate to answer. "Yes," she said simply. She wanted the pretty wedding, the house, the yard, the kids… she wanted it all. And, more importantly, she knew that she could have it all. Her career, her friends, her family, her love… all of it. If there was one thing that Rachel had learned over the last five years and two months, it was that if you wanted something, you had to actually go out and get it. "I want it all."

She squeezed Kurt's hand again before she stood up. "I'm going to go to the bathroom, and then I'm going to pop some popcorn. I'll be back in a few minutes." She kissed him on the cheek before she practically danced out of the bedroom, humming a happy tune.

Kurt waited until he was sure she was gone. When her footsteps had fully receded, he scrambled off the bed and over to her jewelry box. Flipping the lid open, he rifled around in it until he found what he was looking for.

With another wide grin, Kurt pulled the necklace bearing Rachel's engagement ring from the box. He tucked in safely into his bag and sent a quick text off to Finn: _Mission accomplished_.

* * *

As soon as Kurt dropped the ring into his brother's hand, he asked, "So when are you going to do it?"

Finn rolled his eyes. "Kurt, you promised me that you wouldn't push this." Brady yipped from his lap, as if to agree with him. Finn smiled and patted the puppy on the head.

Kurt held his hands up. "I'm not pushing it, I promise! I just really want to know when you plan on popping the question—again—so I can have everything ready."

"I don't know, Kurt," Finn said patiently. Kurt had become immediately suspicious when Finn asked if Rachel even still had the ring. And ever since he had asked his brother to snag it from Rachel's room for him, Kurt had been asking him questions non-stop. "I'm not going to do it tomorrow, if that's what you're asking."

"Oh. So next week, then?"

Finn shook his head and dragged a hand through his hair. He wanted to do it right, this time. He wanted to have a plan. He wanted to have a place to go. Obviously, if he was going to propose to Rachel again, he was going to move to New York. Even after all this time, Finn refused to spend the rest of his life in Lima. He knew now that he was meant for so much more than that.

"I still have so much to figure out, Kurt. We haven't really talked about what's going to happen when Rachel has to go back to New York." They had just been enjoying being a relationship again. However, they knew that they had issues to flesh out.

Kurt didn't look particularly troubled by that statement. "You're going to come back with us, obviously," he stated. He spoke as if it was the most simple solution in the world.

Finn only wished it was that easy. "I want to," he said. "There's nothing that I want more. But does _she_ want it?"

Kurt raised an eyebrow. "Trust me when I say that she wants it. But you're not going to believe me until you hear it from her. So I suggest that you ask her. The whole no communication thing doesn't work for the two of you. Just be honest with her."

Finn nodded his head. First, he wanted to be sure that he could go to New York. He reached into his desk drawer and pulled out several brochures. Kurt peered down at the top one.

"NYU?" He looked back at his brother. "You applied to NYU?"

Finn shrugged his shoulders. "I applied to a couple of schools up there. I'm going to finish my degree, and I was hoping to do it in New York."

Kurt squealed and hugged Finn tightly. Laughing, Finn returned the hug. "When do you hear back?" Kurt demanded.

"I should hear within the next week or so, actually," Finn said. "I'll know if I can start this fall semester soon."

"Finn, this is perfect," Kurt said. He put a hand on his shoulder. "You're going to be an amazing teacher. And believe me when I say that we want you in New York. _All_ of us do."

* * *

Rachel smiled when she saw Finn relaxing peacefully in the hammock in his backyard. His eyes were closed and his face was completely relaxed. He was spread eagle in the hammock, but Rachel knew that she could curl up right beside him.

She carefully climbed into the hammock. The rocking movements caused Finn to wake up, and he opened his eyes before he blinked down sleepily at her. A slow smile spread across his lips, and he pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"Hey, baby," he murmured.

That familiar feeling of utter happiness spread through Rachel's chest, to the tips of her fingers and toes. "Hi, Finn," she said. "How was your day?"

"It was good," he said as he ran his fingers through her hair. "Kurt and I hung out for a little while. It was nice."

Rachel was glad that Finn and Kurt were able to spend some time together. She wasn't the only one that Finn hadn't seen in five years, after all. And since they were picking up Tina and Mike from the airport in a few hours, they wouldn't be alone again for a while. She pressed her nose into his chest, inhaling his comforting smell. There wasn't anything specific to it, really. It was just a clean, very Finn-like smell.

"I love you," Rachel said suddenly. She just really wanted him to know that. So much time had been lost between them because of miscommunication. She didn't want that to happen ever again.

Finn gave her that sweet half smile and bent his head to kiss her sweetly. His lips lingered against hers for a long moment. He pulled back and kissed her again before he said, "I love you too, Rach."

Rachel beamed at him and started humming quietly. With each note, her humming got louder until she was singing. "_Oh boy, you stand by me._"

To Rachel's complete surprise, Finn's voice joined hers. "_I'm forever yours, faithfully._"

As usual, their voices mingled perfectly together.

* * *

**Author's Note: So a lot of this chapter was just talking about their feelings and plans. I figured they should finally sing together again, too. :) I hope it cleared up some of the things that they were going through. Thanks for reading!**


	26. there will be no white flag

**Author's Note: As always, thank you for the amazing reviews! You guys are really amazing.**

**Also, I wrote this chapter before I knew that Mike and Tina had broken up. Since this is AU as of "Goodbye", we're just going to pretend that they never did. This chapter's title comes from "White Flag" by Dido.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything.**

* * *

"Are you ready?" Rachel asked.

Finn shrugged his shoulders. "I guess so." He looked down at his frayed and worn cast. It was finally time for him to get it off. Part of him was happy that he didn't have to try to maneuver with the bulky cast anymore, but part of him still dreaded knowing all of the things he couldn't do.

The doctor came in and removed the cast. After a quick examination and making sure that Finn had his first physical therapy appointment scheduled, the doctor left. Rachel lifted his left hand and examined it herself, running her fingers over the skin she hadn't touched in five years. Finn smiled as her fingers danced over his skin and examined the pink scars needed to reset the bones.

"Does it hurt?" she asked softly.

Finn experimentally turned his wrist and flexed it a little bit. He winced at how stiff it was, but it wasn't too horrible. "No," he finally said.

Rachel uncurled his left fist and opened it, tracing her fingers along his palm. She gave him a smile before she bent and pressed her lips to his palm. Finn smiled as well and slid his hand up to cup her cheek, fingers entangling in her hair.

"Take me to my first physical therapy appointment?" Finn asked.

Rachel's eyes lit up. She hadn't realized that Finn wanted her there for those sorts of things. He wouldn't let her drop him off or pick him up during his sessions with his therapist. It was a step in the right direction if he wanted her to take him to the physical therapist.

"Really?" she asked as she slid her hand over his.

Finn pulled her close by the waist. "Of course." It felt so good to be able to touch her with both hands again. He ran both hands up and down her back, and Rachel arched into his touch. He had to remember that they were currently sitting in a rather public doctor's office.

"Well then. This Wednesday, I'll take you to your appointment."

Finn grinned and pressed a light kiss to her lips. "We should probably start heading back. Kurt has texted me at least six or seven times in the past five minutes. I think he's getting impatient."

Rachel only laughed as they walked hand in hand out of the doctor's office. Finn couldn't keep the smile from forming on his face. Rachel Berry's laugh was definitely a cure for any pain he might have been feeling.

* * *

"Rachel, come here! The baby is kicking!"

Rachel immediately disappeared from Finn's side and ran into the living room, where Tina was sitting on the couch. By the time Finn got there, Rachel's hands were firmly attached to Tina's stomach. She giggled as she felt a little bump against her hand.

"That is amazing," she declared.

Tina laughed. "It's not so amazing when the baby is constantly kicking my bladder," Tina said. "I can already tell that he's going to be a little dancer."

"Like father like son," Mike said proudly as he sat next to his wife. Mercedes, Rachel, and Kurt couldn't help the choruses of "awww!" that escaped them. Tina and Mike were just too cute together. They were a couple that had weathered all sorts of adversity and had never let it tear them apart. They had been through disapproving parents and long distance relationships, but that didn't stop them.

They had gotten married a year ago. It was a small ceremony that almost all of the old glee club had attended. Tina was now five months pregnant, and she and Mike were getting ready to move to New York. Mike was opening his own dance studio, and Tina was going to be giving voice lessons until she could start auditioning for shows again.

"You have to let me design the nursery," Kurt gushed. "I already have so many perfect ideas!"

Blaine chuckled. "You're going to be awfully busy, aren't you? What with Mercedes and Sam's wedding and Tina and Mike's baby's nursery."

"There is nothing wrong with a having a few projects," Kurt said. "I'm still working on Brady's doghouse."

Finn groaned. "I swear to God, Kurt, if he's doghouse is pink and sparkly and covered in fake fur, I'll let Puck do unspeakable things to all of your scarves."

Kurt gasped. "You wouldn't."

"Try me."

"Then I'll burn all of atrocious puffy vests! Don't think that I didn't see you wearing one last night. I thought you would have grown out of them by now!"

Everyone else watched Finn and Kurt volley insults at each other in amusement. Tina put her hand over her protruding stomach and looked at her husband.

"You better hope that the next one is a girl, Mike," she said. "I don't know if I can put up with all of the bickering."

Sam snorted. "Trust me, they'll fight no matter what. My little brother and sister still try to beat the crap out of each other."

Tina threw a pillow at the blonde man. "Thanks for bursting my bubble, Sam!"

"Aw." Rachel pouted. "The baby stopped kicking."

"He'll start up again soon," Tina assured her.

"I can do it now, if you want," Mike said as he leaned over, putting his mouth close to Tina's stomach. "He'll start kicking again if I sing—"

"_Don't you dare,_" Tina hissed darkly. When Mike immediately sat back, Tina smiled sweetly at him and held her hands out. "Now help me up. I have to pee."

Sam, Finn, and Blaine all gave Mike a sympathetic look. He dutifully got to his feet though and pulled Tina up by her hands. He helped her towards the bathroom and laughed when Tina demanded that she find him some peanut butter and celery.

* * *

After dinner, Tina, Mercedes, and Rachel lounged around on the back deck as the boys cleaned up the kitchen. Tina rubbed a hand over her stomach and grinned as she saw Rachel peek into the kitchen again, her eyes seeking out Finn's.

"That is so cute," Tina gushed. "You must be so glad that you two are back together."

"I really am," Rachel said. Finn caught her eye and he gave her that sweet half smile, and Rachel beamed at him in return.

"I guess surrendering to the universe really worked out after all," Tina muttered absently while Mercedes nodded her head. "We all got what we wanted."

Rachel bit her lip at the mention of that word. _Surrender_. She remembered the day that Finn told her to surrender, to let go. She had imagined letting go for the time being, letting go just enough to go New York. She hadn't realized that she was going to have let go of everything for five long years.

Kurt came out and immediately began to talk to Tina and Mercedes. Since they were all distracted, Rachel stood up and quietly slipped back into the house. She made sure not to draw attention to herself as she made her way downstairs, into Finn's room. She curled herself up onto his bed, burying her face in his pillow and inhaling his comforting scent.

It wasn't very long until Finn came down the stairs as well, shutting the door behind him. He sat on the edge of the bed and looked at Rachel with concerned eyes.

"Hey baby," he said. "What's wrong?"

Rachel glared down at the floor. "I hate that word," she said darkly.

Finn's brow furrowed. "What word?"

"Surrender."

"Oh." Finn pressed his lips together and shifted closer to her as she sat up.

"It's just such a… _stupid_ word." Rachel knew that she sounded very childish, but she couldn't help herself. "I don't like to _surrender_ to anything."

"I know you don't," Finn said quietly.

Rachel whipped towards him, her eyes blazing. "Then why did you make me?"

"Because it was what was best for you."

"Was it?"

"I think so."

"What about what I think? You never bothered to find that out, did you? Not even as the years passed."

"Rachel, I wanted you to live your life. I didn't want you to have to worry about me."

"But I _did_ worry about you! I tried not to Finn, believe me. I tried to let go, just like you told me to. But you were always there, in the back of my mind. Every time I watched the news and heard about the different attacks in Afghanistan, I was terrified that I would hear your name. It got so bad that Kurt and Santana refused to let me watch the news. Why didn't you try to contact me, Finn? Why?"

Finn got up from the bed and kneeled in front of Rachel. He took her hands in his, his thumbs rubbing across the backs of them. "I wanted to, Rachel. Believe me, I wanted to. But college is supposed to be about having new experiences, trying new things. What if you met the guy that you were supposed to be with? I didn't want to stand in the way of that. Worse still, what if I held you back from your dreams? Rachel, I was so afraid of losing you. But I'd rather you were out there and happy then hating me for the rest of your life. Maybe it was selfish of me, but I couldn't live with myself if you hated me for holding you back. I couldn't be that guy."

Rachel's hands tightened around Finn's. "Tina and Mike managed to have a long distance relationship. And now they're married and they're going to have a baby. Why couldn't that be us?"

"Because." Finn just didn't have a good enough answer for her. He had been afraid that he would have ruined everything. He thought that he was going to hold her back. He knew now that those things weren't true, so he felt that there was no need to mention it. "Because it just couldn't. Because that wasn't our story. But look where we are now." He tilted her chin up. "I love you. I love you so much. Forever."

Rachel took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She inhaled and exhaled deeply for a few long moments before she opened her eyes again. "College was a good experience," she said. "I guess it was good to experience new things. It's all about…"

"Growing up?" Finn finished with a half-smile. "I know."

Rachel tugged Finn up onto the bed with her and laid back. She took both of his hands in hers and spread them out, placing her palms against his. As always, she marveled over the fact that he was just so much bigger than her. She had missed his warm body wrapping around hers, covering hers. Now she could have him whenever she wanted to.

Taking his hands, she moved them down on her body and reveled in feeling both of them on her. Finn, getting the idea, shifted so that he was hovering over her. He slowly peeled her dress off, and then her panties and bra. He took a moment to just stare at her naked body, drinking in the sight of her. Rachel got breathless just being under his gaze.

"So beautiful," he murmured. He traced his calloused fingers down her body, slowly going over her curves. He started at her cheekbones, then moved his fingers down the column of her throat. He gently moved them over her shoulders and down her arms, squeezing her hands lightly when he reached them. "So sexy."

Finn brushed his hands up Rachel's stomach and gently cupped both of her breasts at the same time. He traced his fingers along the curve of her breasts before cupping them again, massaging gently. Rachel moaned and arched up, trying to get closer to him. As soon as she moved, however, Finn's hands ghosted down her stomach again. He smirked at the annoyed noise that Rachel let out.

Finn moved his hands down to her hips, grasping them tenderly. He stroked them down her legs, taking his time, tracing little patterns and rubbing circles with his thumbs. He moved his hands up the inside of her thighs, getting close to where she wanted him to be, but he withdrew at the last moment. Rachel let out another disgruntled noise, but Finn silenced her by covering her mouth with his.

Rachel tugged on his shirt until he got the hint and let her pull it off. His jeans and boxer briefs were quick to follow, and Finn traced his hands down Rachel's body again before he slid his fingers between her legs. His other hand kneaded at her breast, gently plucking her nipple and Rachel felt as if her whole body was on fire from the dual touches. It was so different from when they had been in high school. It wasn't just about getting things done quickly. Finn knew what he wanted and just how he wanted to take it; Rachel did, too. It just made everything that much more exciting.

Finn skimmed his lips down her nose, her throat, and across her chest. Pulling his hand from between her legs, he licked his fingers clean before taking her hands and holding them above her head.

Finn slowly pressed into her. "I love you," he murmured.

"God," Rachel moaned, tightening her fingers around Finn's. "I love you, too."

They moved together, hips rocking in perfect time as they pushed each other to completion. Finn released Rachel's hands and she clutched at his shoulders. He resumed his pathway up and down her soft skin, stroking, teasing. He ran his hand down her thighs, hitching her legs around his waist and changing the angle.

Rachel rotated her hips and Finn groaned into her neck. She gasped as he pulled almost all the way out and snapped his hips back against hers. With one more gentle caress, Rachel came with a loud cry. She moved her hips until Finn was coming undone over her, and she loved the look on his face. She pulled him close for a kiss and then they tried to catch their breaths.

"You don't think they knew what we were doing, do you?" Rachel asked after a long moment. She skimmed her fingers over the freckles on Finn's cheeks, and he caught her hand and pressed a kiss to her palm.

He smirked against her skin. "They might. You weren't exactly quiet, you know."

Rachel's cheeks flushed, but she gave him a playful shrug. "That is your fault."

"Oh, so it's my fault that you're so vocal?"

"No, it's your fault for coaxing those reactions from me." She took his face in both her hands and kissed him again, rolling them over so that she was straddling him. "Only you."

A slow grin began to spread on Finn's lips. "Yeah?"

"Absolutely."

Rachel ducked down to kiss Finn again, but a loud banging on the door at the top of the steps caused her to stop. Finn groaned and slid his hands around to her backside, trying to encourage her, but Rachel pressed her fingers to his lips.

Kurt's voice reached them. "Are you two done yet? We'd all like to have dessert now!"

"It sounds like Finn and Rachel have already had theirs!" Sam yelled.

Rachel gasped and buried her face in Finn's chest. He wrapped his arms around her as he started laughing. Rachel tugged the blankets up and over her head, and the action only caused Finn to laugh ever harder.

"It's not funny, Finn Hudson!" Rachel exclaimed. But even as she attempted to scold him, she dissolved into giggles.

Over Finn's roars of laughter, Rachel heard Kurt say, "I swear to God, the two of them go at it like monkeys."

Finn's laughter stopped long enough for him to stroke his hands down her body. His eyes grew dark as he slipped his fingers between her legs again, easily finding her spot. Rachel moaned and bucked her hips into his hand.

"Wanna go again?" Finn asked, his voice husky.

Rachel threw the covers off of them and sat up, running her hands down his chest. "Always."

* * *

**Author's Note: I think this might be winding down… maybe? I'm thinking there's going to be at least four or five more chapters. I still have a few things I want to add, but I think we got through most of the really big stuff. The next few chapters are definitely my some of my favorites, so I'm excited for everyone to read those. Thanks for reading, and let me know what you think!**


	27. say honestly you won't give up on me

**Author's Note: This is one of my favorite chapters so far. I just love the raw emotions in it. As always, thank you for all of the amazing reviews. The flashback is in italics. This chapter's title is from "I Shall Believe" by Sheryl Crow. Enjoy!  
**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

* * *

"Will you tell me about what happened over there?"

Finn stiffened a little under Rachel. However, he kept tracing his fingers along her naked back. He had been right; this was a pretty great form of physical therapy. "Over where?" he asked, playing dumb.

Rachel tilted her head up so that she could look at him. Finn was staring resolutely at the ceiling, but she pressed on anyway. He had just woken up from another nightmare, and this one had been pretty violent. He had been worried about hurting her (she knew he never would), and Rachel figured that talking to Finn might help him a little bit. "In Afghanistan," she answered quietly.

Finn sighed, his hand pausing. After a moment, he started tracing circles on her back again. "Rachel… I don't really want to talk about it."

"Maybe you should."

"Maybe I shouldn't."

"Why not?"

He still didn't look at her. "It's not like I had a lot of fun over there, Rach. There were other things besides the attack that I'm not exactly eager to talk about."

"What do you talk about with your therapist, then?" Realizing how that question sounded, Rachel quickly tried to backtrack. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I just meant…"

"I know," Finn said. He smoothed his hand down her back, resting it just above her behind. "I talk about my dad, mostly. And my mom, and Burt, and Kurt. And you, too." He sighed again. "But yes, I do talk about Afghanistan. I mean, that's why I go, so…"

"Finn…"

Finn shot upright. "Rachel, do you think that I want to talk about my friends that were killed and injured? Or the children and other innocent people that were killed? Or the way people were treated, or the way that _I_ had to kill people?" He tugged on his hair. "Do you know how that feels? Those people had families, Rachel. Fathers and mothers and sons and daughters and brothers and sisters and husbands and wives and friends… I see their faces in my nightmares, Rachel. I imagine what their families would say to me if they ever met me."

Rachel could feel tears burning in her eyes as she reached out and placed a hand on Finn's bare chest. "That doesn't make you a bad person, Finn," she whispered. And it didn't. She couldn't pretend to understand what he had went through, but she wasn't afraid to be thankful that Finn had made it out alive. What he had done was to protect himself and his comrades. That didn't make it easy or right, but it was enough for Rachel.

Finn's jaw was tense as he looked away from her. He looked down at his left arm and pressed his fingers against the scars that had come from the resetting of his bones. He winced a little at the dull pain. It helped bring him back to earth and tamp down his anger. He was mostly able to save his spells of anger for when Rachel wasn't there, and he wasn't about to start now.

"It's okay, Rachel," Finn finally said. He released a slow breath and dragged a hand through his hair before he pulled her into his arms again.

"I shouldn't have asked," Rachel muttered as she held her hand over his heart. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry." The last thing Finn wanted was for Rachel to be afraid to say things around him. He wanted her to be open and honest, and if she had questions, then he would do his best to answer them. "I love you. And I'll answer whatever questions you have." He wouldn't be especially eager to divulge all of that information, but he would try.

Rachel's hand traced up his chest and stopped just under his collar bone. She traced the long, thin white scar that ran from there and across to the other side of his chest. She had seen this scar before, back when they first made love again, but she didn't ask about it in case it made him uncomfortable.

"Where did you get this?" she asked quietly.

Finn placed his hand over hers. "On my first tour in Afghanistan. I got into a knife fight with an angry local."

Rachel looked up at him with wide eyes. "A knife fight?" she repeated as her voice jumped up an octave.

Finn shrugged his shoulders. "The guy was drunk and managed to get a good swipe in. I didn't even need stiches."

She had never thought that Finn would be so nonchalant about something as serious as a knife fight. Obviously, his view on certain aspects of the world had changed since his time in the military. Still, she couldn't help but wonder…

"Did you win?"

A small smirk touched Finn's lips. "I did. I knocked him out with a hit to the back of the head. I was the first guy on our team to get in a fight like that."

Rachel nodded her head and pressed a kiss to the scar, dragging her lips across the length of it. Finn shivered under touch, but she pulled herself from his arms and shifted on the bed until she was facing his back.

Rachel's fingers traced across his burns before she found another scar just under his ribs on his right side. She touched that one with the tips of her fingers and noted the size of it. It was maybe three inches long and pretty smooth. This was a wound that had obviously been stitched shut.

"What's this one from?" Rachel asked. She was already dreading the answer; she knew that this story wasn't going to be a good one.

Finn's shoulders tensed. "That was towards the end of my first tour," he began. "We were on a recon mission. It wasn't supposed to be a big deal, or anything. Just a simple get in, get out sort of thing." He reached back and brushed his hand over the scar. "We were attacked in the middle of the night. I was stabbed."

Rachel gasped and tears immediately came to her eyes. She pressed her fingers to her mouth and rested her forehead against his back. It was bad enough, knowing that Finn had been the victim of an attack with a roadside bomb. It was even difficult to think about the fact that he had been shot at on numerous occasions. But to know that he had been stabbed? That was something else entirely.

"It didn't hit anything too important," Finn explained. "And we were able to take them down quickly. But I was given downtime to recover from the stab wound. They stitched it up and I was back stateside for a few months, helping to train new recruits."

"God, Finn," Rachel whispered. She wrapped her arms around him, and turned her head so her cheek was pressed against his back.

"It wasn't as bad as it could have been," Finn said. His voice was low, and he looked down at his hands. "But that was the first time that I thought I might die. You were the last thing I thought of before I blacked out. Just like when the bomb hit."

_"Come on, Huddy. Stay awake, man."_

_ Finn could hear Jack and Nathan's voice. But it was like it was coming through a set of speakers with a bad signal. They were fuzzy and distant, but he still heard them. Finn blinked slowly and watched as his vision tunneled once again._

_ "You gotta stay with us, man," Nathan implored. "Come on. Stay awake and tell me about something. Anything or anyone. Just stay awake."_

_ Finn sucked in a gasping breath. "Rachel," he finally said._

_ "Rachel. Rachel Berry, right? Your girlfriend from high school?"_

_ "Fiancée," Finn corrected. It was getting harder to speak, but he tried to stay awake for his friends._

_ "Fiancée?" Jack repeated. "You got engaged in high school? Getting a little ahead of yourself there, aren't you Huddy?"_

_ "I love her," Finn gasped. As he spoke, he summoned a picture of Rachel in his mind. Her beautiful smile, even in his imagination, made him relax._

_ "We know you do," Nathan said. "And you have to stay awake so you can make it home and see her again."_

_ "Right," Jack added. "A little fire and some broken bones aren't going to stop you. You're going to be fine."_

_ Finn really wanted to believe that. But it just hurt too much. The entire left side of his torso felt like it was on fire. His vision grew fuzzy and he closed his eyes. He only opened them again when he felt one of his friends prod his cheek._

_ "You have to stay awake, Huddy," Nathan repeated. "Come on, keep talking to me."_

_ "Letter," Finn said. His hissed sharply as a wave of pain rolled over him. "There's a letter. One for my mom, my stepdad, and Kurt. And one for Rachel. Makes sure she gets it."_

_ Jack shook his head. "Don't say that, Huddy. You're going to make it."_

_ Finn lifted his head up and gripped Nathan's sleeve. "Promise me," Finn managed. "Promise me that Rachel will get that letter."_

_ Jack and Nathan exchanged a look before they both nodded their heads. "We promise, Finn," Nathan said. "She'll get it."_

_ Finn released another gasp and let his head fall back. His eyes drifted shut once again, despite the pleas from his teammates. He let the darkness take over, welcoming the quiet and the freedom from pain._

_ The last thing he saw was Rachel's beautiful face._

Rachel kissed Finn's shoulder as he finished telling her his story. "There's a letter?" she finally asked after a long moment. When Finn nodded his head, Rachel asked, "Can I read it?"

"No."

Rachel shifted so that she could see Finn's face, and she scowled at him. "Finn."

"No, Rachel. I don't want you to read it."

"Why not?"

"Rachel." Finn took her hands in his and looked her in the eye. "I wrote that letter in case I died. I didn't die, and now I'm here. You don't need to read it."

Finn was quick to notice the look of determination that appeared on Rachel's face. It seemed that she was going to look for that letter and try to read it whether he wanted her to or not. Honestly, he probably shouldn't have mentioned it in the first place. But now that he had brought it up, Rachel was sure to keep asking him about it until he relented. So Finn decided to quit while he was ahead.

"Okay, Rachel," Finn said after a moment of deliberation. "I'll let you read the letter." Rachel began to smile, but Finn was quick to add, "But not right now. Can I give it to you when I'm ready?"

Rachel knew that Finn was being sincere when he said that he would give her the letter. She believed him. "Of course," she said. "Take your time." Cupping his face in her hands, she brought his lips down to hers and kissed him slowly and deeply. "You have no idea how glad I am that your back, Finn. I love you."

Finn lay back down again, pulling her with him. He rolled Rachel under him and pressed his ear over her heart, listening to its steady beat. "I'm glad to be back, Rach."

* * *

Before Finn could get out of the car, he turned to Rachel and took his hand. "Do you want to come with me?" he asked.

It was Wednesday, and Rachel was dropping Finn off at his first physical therapy appointment at the VA hospital. Finn had been quiet the entire way there, but Rachel hadn't expected much out of him. Instead, she had turned the radio on and sang along to every song that had played. Even though Finn wasn't really speaking, a smile had come to his lips.

"Go with you to your physical therapy appointment?" Rachel asked, just to clarify.

Finn nodded his head, and Rachel beamed at him. She threw her arms around his neck and pulled him close for a kiss. They were both smiling at each other's lips; Rachel at having Finn open up to her, and Finn for Rachel's enthusiasm.

"I would love to go to your physical therapy appointment with you!" she exclaimed.

They both got out of the car. "I gotta warn you, Rach," Finn said. He couldn't keep the smile off of his face as he watched her. "It probably won't be that exciting."

"That's okay!" Truth be told, Rachel was so happy that she got to be a part of this portion of Finn's recovery. She considered it a big step forward that Finn was letting her in as much as he was. "I want to see what kind of exercises they'll have you do. Maybe we can replicate them at home."

Finn chuckled. Rachel would say something like that. As they walked towards the entrance of the building, he held his hand out. She took it and twined their fingers together as she beamed up at him. Finn was glad that he was able to see that beautiful smile for real, instead of just in his memory.

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**Author's Note: I really wanted to end this chapter with a little bit of fluff, since it was pretty heavy in the beginning. I hope that you all enjoyed it! Thanks for reading, and let me know what you think!  
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	28. just what you're worth

**Author's Note: You all might notice the OTH references with the names I used for the characters I made up. That's because I'm complete crap with coming up with names, so I just kind switch around ones from TV shows. This chapter title comes from "Fix You" by Coldplay.**

**Once again, I wanted to thank you all for the amazing reviews you leave. It seriously means so much to me. Things have been pretty tough at home, so it's really nice to come back to this and read all of your kind words. Thanks!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything.**

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Rachel swung her legs from her perch on the table. She reached out and slid her fingers under the sleeve of Finn's t-shirt, pulling it up. She traced her fingers over the tribal tattoo that wrapped around his bicep, biting her lip thoughtfully as she studied. Finn looked down at her hand and smiled.

"I never did ask you what you thought about it," he said.

"About what?"

"The tattoo."

"Oh." Rachel ran her fingers over it again and couldn't stop the smile that formed on her lips. She _did_ like the tattoo. In fact, knowing that sweet, all-American boy Finn had gone and gotten something like a tattoo made him just that much hotter in her eyes. It added yet another element of sexiness to him.

"I really like it," Rachel said. Her eyes grew dark as she looked up at Finn. "I really, _really_ like it."

Finn smirked at her. "Oh really?" He had to remind himself that they were in the very public location of the VA hospital. Still… he stepped between her legs and slid his hands up her thighs. Rachel rolled the sleeve of his shirt up and pressed her lips to the tattoo. Finn shivered a little. Before he could kiss her properly, the physical therapist came into the room.

He smiled at the couple. "Alright, break it up you two. I have other patients to work with, and Finn, you're supposed to be doing your last exercises. Take the stress ball and get to work."

"Come on, Keith," Finn said with a groan. "Rachel makes sure that I do all of the exercises at home. I can't even have any fun until I do them. Can't I just go home early today?"

Keith Roe shook his head and handed Finn the stress ball. "Nope. The sooner you start, the sooner you can be finished."

Rachel giggled and patted Finn's shoulder. "I'll go and get the car. You should be finished by then." She kissed his cheek and hopped off the table. "Love you."

Finn grinned. "Love you, too," he called after her.

Another patient came in just as Rachel was leaving. It was a man in his mid-thirties, and his appointments normally overlapped with the end of Finn's. He had lost his left leg from the knee down in an attack from a roadside bomb. Every time Finn saw him, he couldn't help but think about how lucky he had been in the survival of his own attack. It could have been much worse, and it really put things into perspective.

"Hey, Finn," he greeted.

Finn nodded his head as he started squeezing the stress ball. "Hey, George. How are you?"

"I'm good. How's that girl of yours?"

A grin automatically came onto Finn's face at the thought of Rachel. "She's great. Things are great."

George smiled at Finn's reaction. "You know, you're really lucky to have a girl like her. I should know, because I have a wife just like her."

Finn nodded his head. He was very aware of how lucky he was to have Rachel—especially after everything he had put her through. And even after everything in high school, she still put up with all of the bandage changes and the nightmares and flashbacks and the spells of anger and anxiousness.

"She really is special," Finn said. "Every day, I'm a little more amazed that she lets me love her, you know?"

Someone had somehow gotten ahold of Finn's story, and it had quickly spread throughout the VA hospital. Everyone knew of how Finn had let Rachel go after they graduated and how it took five years for them to come together again. It was a story of real true love and believing that everything will be better, and it inspired a lot of people.

Finn didn't quite understand it, but he was glad that his story was helping people. Rachel inspired him every day, and that had helped him. Every time he looked at her, he saw a brighter, better future. It felt good knowing that his story could help other people do the same.

"Alright, you're done for the day, Finn," Keith said. "Now get out of here and go take Rachel on a date, or something. Tell her it's my treat, since she makes you do your physical therapy at home."

"Haha, very funny," Finn said with a good-natured roll of his eyes.

Finn gathered his things up and made sure that his appointment for the following week was set up. Before he could leave, however, George stopped him.

"Rachel is an amazing girl, Finn," George said. "You have to make sure that you never let her go, okay? You and Rachel have something special. Always fight for it. Never give it up."

Finn walked forward and clapped George on the shoulder. "I learned my lesson a long time ago. I will never let Rachel go ever again."

George smiled and nodded his head. When Finn got outside, he found Rachel leaning against the car, waiting for him. A grin formed on his face and he strode forward, cupping her face in his hands as he bent to kiss her. The kiss was long and deep, and Finn pressed her up against the car.

When he pulled away, Rachel's eyes fluttered open and she gave him a dazed smile. "Wow," she breathed. "What was that for?"

Finn stroked his fingers down her cheek. "I really love you, Rachel," he said softly. "I just really wanted you to know that."

Rachel beamed at him and reached up to kiss him again. "I love you too, Finn."

He would never get tired of hearing that.

* * *

"Finn! FinnFinnFinnFinnFinn!"

Finn covered his ears with his hands and glared at the general area of the house that his brother was in. "I don't understand how you can be that freaking loud when you're all the way across the house."

Kurt came running into the living room, waving an envelope over his head. He was unfazed by Finn's comment as he jumped onto the couch and thrust the envelope into his brother's face. "Finn! Look at what this is!"

Finn pulled back and tried to focus on the object. "I can't when you're waving it in my face."

Kurt grinned. "Finn, this is an envelope from NYU."

"_What?_" Finn snatched the envelope from Kurt and completely shredded it in his haste to open it. He almost felt as if he was back in his senior year of high school again, that same dread and anticipation filling his stomach. He quickly unfolded the letter and scanned its contents.

"_Well?_" Kurt demanded. He couldn't figure anything out based on Finn's expression. He hadn't moved since he opened the letter, either, and Kurt was beside himself with the anticipation. He just had to know. "Finn, come on! Just tell me already!"

Finn crumpled up the paper in his fist. He looked up at Kurt, and then his face suddenly split into a wide grin. "I got in!"

Kurt shrieked in excitement and hugged his brother tightly. They both yelled and started jumping up and down as if they were kids again, since they just couldn't contain their excitement. Carole and Burt came into the living room, watching with looks of amusement on their faces.

"What's all the commotion about, boys?" Burt asked.

Finn held his arms out and proudly displayed the acceptance letter. "I'm going to NYU in the fall!"

"Finn!" Carole squealed and hugged her son tightly. Burt was next, and then he pulled Carole and Kurt into the hug as well.

Of course, Kurt had to make a comment. "So Finn. Now that you know that you're got accepted to NYU, when are you going to propose to Rachel?"

Carole squealed, and Finn punched his brother on the shoulder. "Kurt!" he exclaimed.

"What?" Kurt looked unapologetic as he shrugged his shoulders. "It's a perfectly valid question!"

* * *

Carole stood at the window and looked out into the backyard. She felt Burt come up next to her, and they both watched Finn and Rachel as they curled up on the hammock together. That had become a sort of sport for them over the summer. When they wanted to retreat and just sit quietly together, they would go to the hammock. It wasn't long before Hiram and Leroy joined Burt and Carole. All four adults watched as Finn pressed a kiss to Rachel's forehead and she snuggled into his arms.

"They really do make each other happy, don't they?" Leroy finally said.

Hiram chuckled. "It only took you six years to admit it, Leroy."

Burt snorted out a laugh as Carole smiled. "I knew that Rachel was the one for Finny the moment he came home and told me about her. He couldn't stop talking about how pretty she was and how beautiful her voice was and how he could really talk to her. Finn had never talked about a girl like that before, and he had never talked about any other girl like that since meeting Rachel."

"I've never seen anyone make Finn smile the way Rachel does," Burt observed.

Hiram sighed dreamily as he imagined his grandchildren running around in the backyard. "That pretty much says it all, doesn't it?"

Leroy surprised everyone by saying, "It's true, though. I don't think I've ever seen anyone make Rachel smile so brightly. And my daughter has some bright smiles." He watched the young couple thoughtfully for a moment before he said, "Do you think he'll propose to her again?"

Carole and Burt exchanged a look, but they thought it was wise not to give a definite answer right away. "So… would you be okay with them getting married now?" Carole asked.

"At least they're not in high school anymore," Leroy grumbled.

Hiram nudged his husband. "I think it would be perfect. Can you imagine it? It would be in the fall, and it could be outside—"

Burt chuckled. "Maybe we should wait for him to propose, first. Did you know that Finn got accepted into NYU?"

"Really?" Leroy looked impressed. A small part of him had still worried that everything wouldn't work out, and he didn't want that to happen to his little girl again. As far as he knew, Rachel didn't know about Finn's plan. This time, Finn was planning ahead and was really going to make this happen.

"He didn't even tell us that he was applying until Kurt let it slip at dinner one night," Carole revealed. "I think he always wanted to end up in New York, honestly. And not just because Rachel is there, although that is a part of it."

The two sets of parents turned to look out the window once again. They saw Brady run over to the hammock, where it looked as if Finn and Rachel had fallen asleep. The puppy tilted his head at the couple before he jumped up onto the hammock. They could see Finn and Rachel dissolve into laughter as they played with the puppy, and all the parents chuckled in amusement.

"I am very excited to start planning the wedding," Leroy admitted.

Hiram and Carole started talking excitedly at once. Burt just laughed and shook his head. "Between the three of you and Kurt, I get the feeling that Rachel and Finn aren't actually going to be doing much planning."

* * *

Finn knocked on the door and waited patiently. It swung open, and Will was standing there with Paige in his arms. The little girl squealed when she saw Finn and clapped her hands excitedly.

"Unca' Finn!" she exclaimed.

Will handed the toddler over to Finn. "Hey, Paige!" he greeted. He tickled her stomach and kissed her cheek, and she giggled. They walked into the house with Finn flying Paige like an airplane.

"What brings you over here, Finn?" Will asked. He walked into the kitchen and poured two cups of coffee. Finn took a seat at the table and put Paige on his lap.

"Just wanted to talk," Finn said. He had come prepared with a gift for Paige and pulled a little stuffed animal out of his pocket and handed it to the little girl. She squealed again and hugged the little animal tightly to her chest.

"Thanks Unca' Finn!" she exclaimed.

Will smiled at his daughter before he said, "You know you can come over whenever you want to. What's up?"

"Well…" Finn reached into his pocket again. He set the black velvet box on the table top. With a raised eyebrow, Will opened the box and saw the familiar engagement ring nestled inside.

"Ooh. Pretty!" Paige cooed.

"Finn… is this what I think it is?"

"Yes."

"And are you going to do with it what I think you're going to do with it?"

"That's the plan."

Will grinned at his former student. "That's great Finn, really. Congratulations!"

Finn rubbed the back of his neck. "I haven't done it yet, Mr. Schue."

"Still. This is amazing. If there's anyone who deserves this happiness, it's the two of you." He clapped Finn on the shoulder and shut the box, handing it back to him.

"Do I get to be the flower girl, Unca' Finn?" Paige asked.

Finn chuckled. "I don't have a problem with it, and I'm sure that Rachel won't either."

"But Paige, you have to keep it a secret." Will put his fingers to his lips, and Paige copied the motion. She nodded her head as her father implored her. "Rachel can't know, okay?"

"I promise, Daddy," she said.

Will stood up and lifted his daughter into his arms. "Just in case, we should probably keep Paige away from Rachel until you actually propose."

* * *

**Author's Note: Yes, it is going to happen. And it's going to be beautiful! As always, thanks for reading!  
**


	29. i will never be the same without you

**Author's Note: You guys are amazing, seriously. Thanks for all of the great reviews! This is one of my favorite chapters, I think. Get ready for some pretty heavy-duty emotions. This chapter's title comes from "Without You" by Usher. The flashback is in italics. The letter is also in italics. Oh, and for anyone who was wondering, yes, the wedding will be in this story. :)  
**

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything.**

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"Hello, Finn." Hiram couldn't keep the large grin off his face as he greeted the young man that was sure to be his future son-in-law. "Rachel isn't here at the moment, but she should be back soon."

Finn rubbed the back of his neck. "I didn't come here to see Rachel. I actually stopped by to talk to you and Mr. Berry."

Hiram had to work very hard to keep his excitement from showing. He stepped aside and allowed the younger man to walk into the house. "Finn, when was the last time you called either me or Leroy Mr. Berry?"

"Uh… right." Finn took a deep breath and tried to calm down. There was no reason to be nervous about this. Both Leroy and Hiram had already pretty much given their blessing to him about his relationship with Rachel. There was no reason that they would say no to his request.

They walked into the kitchen, where Leroy was already sitting. He looked up from his newspaper and nodded at Finn. "Hello, Finn. What brings you out here?"

Even though Finn had practiced this conversation many times (both in his head and out loud), everything he had prepared completely flew out the window. Instead of telling the Berry men just how much their daughter meant to him, Finn said, "I got into NYU."

Hiram and Leroy exchanged an unreadable look. Finally, Hiram said, "We know. Your mother told us. Congratulations, Finn."

Finn sighed. Of course his mother had told them. He could only imagine what else she had said to them. "Well… I have question for the two of you. A really important question."

There was that look again. Leroy set aside his newspaper. "Go on…"

Finn took a deep breath and rubbed the back of his neck again. "I love Rachel so much. When I was sixteen years old, I figured out that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. A lot of time has passed since then, and those feelings haven't changed. This time, I want to do everything right. So I'd like to ask for you blessing, because I want to propose to Rachel again."

Finn exhaled slowly once he was finished speaking. Even though he had forgotten his original speech, he had been surprised at how easily the words had flowed from his mouth. He said everything he wanted to say, and he had gotten his point across well. At least, he thought so. He couldn't only hope that the two men in front of him did as well.

Through his musings, Finn became aware of the fact that Hiram and Leroy were staring at him. They weren't saying anything; they were just staring with completely straight, unreadable looks on their faces. As quickly as Finn's nerves left him they came back, but he managed to hide it and stood his ground as he waited for their response.

Several long moments passed. Hiram and Leroy continued to stare at Finn. They just watched him, as if waiting to see if he would crack. Another minute passed.

Finn couldn't take it any longer. "Uh… sirs?"

To his surprise, Leroy cracked first. His face split into a wide grin and he jumped up, reaching forward to shake Finn's hand. "We would like nothing more, Finn."

Hiram patted his husband's hand before he hugged Finn. "Congratulations again, Finn. We couldn't think of a more perfect man for our daughter."

This time, Finn breathed a sigh of relief and he grinned at the two men. He hugged them again and showed them the ring. Both Hiram and Leroy adored the fact that it was the original ring that Finn had given to Rachel. Everything was coming back full circle, and it was just as it was meant to be.

* * *

Rachel beamed at Finn from across the table and took a sip of her wine. They were out on a date. Not just to a movie, or bowling. It was a real, fancy, grown-up date. Finn had managed to find a restaurant that was nice enough without being too close to Lima. Kurt had made Finn put on a suit and get a haircut. Kurt also went shopping with Rachel until he found her the perfect dress. Mercedes, Tina, and Kurt had spent two hours getting her ready before they finally declared that she was perfect.

Of course, Finn thought that Rachel looked perfect in a burlap sack. But apparently, his opinion didn't matter.

"Kurt said that he needs to take me out shopping in order to prepare for my next part," Rachel rolled her eyes good-naturedly. "I swear, he uses any occasion as an excuse for shopping."

"He normally does," Finn said with a chuckle. Reaching across the table, Finn took Rachel's hand in his and squeezed it tightly. "Rachel, it's so awesome that you got that part." Rachel's cheeks flushed under his praise, but Finn wasn't finished yet. "And you won a Tony. God, that is so amazing."

"Thank you, Finn," Rachel said. She bit her lip but couldn't stop the grin from forming on her face. Finally, she said, "I thanked you in my acceptance speech." It wasn't so hard to admit it now.

A smile formed on Finn's face. "I know."

_Everything Rachel had planned to say completely flew from her mind. She totally forgot that she was holding a piece of paper with the main points of her acceptance speech on it, too. She was just too excited. This was it. It was happening. Rachel Berry was receiving her very first Tony Award._

_ "Wow. I'm so honored." Rachel was beaming as she clutched the little award in her hand. "First, I would like to thank my fathers. They never once doubted me, and they supported me from day one. Of course, I would like to thank my best friend Kurt. He always makes sure that I look fabulous." Kurt let out a loud wolf whistle at that. "And my other best friend, Santana. She's always watching out for me. And I would like to thank everyone in the original New Directions, and especially Mr. Schue. If it weren't for you, I would still be that overbearing little girl. I'm still a little overbearing, but I'm better about it. You helped me grow up."_

_ Rachel grew quiet after that. She still had a few moments left before they would start the music that would signal the end of her speech. As much as she tried to push the thought away, one person that should be thanked lingered in the back of her mind. Before she could stop herself, she could feel the words spilling out of her mouth._

_ "And I'd like to especially thank my… my… my Finn. If it hadn't of been for him, I would have… well… I just… thank you. Thank you, Finn."_

_ The audience was quiet, as if they knew she was talking about someone very important. She could see Kurt and her fathers looking at her from their spots in the audience. Kurt's eyes were shining, and he had his hand pressed to her mouth. Her fathers were smiling sadly._

_ Rachel beamed. She had just won a Tony Award, and she didn't regret a single part of her speech. She could see her fathers and Kurt relax as she smiled._

_ Rachel leaned over to speak into the microphone one last time. "Thank you again. This is truly a dream come true."_

Rachel's mouth dropped open a little in surprise. "Really? How?"

"Kurt sent me a video of your performance and your acceptance speech," Finn revealed.

"Wow," Rachel breathed. She remembered giving that speech. The part about Finn had just slipped out. She really did want to thank him, though. His constant belief in her had encouraged her over the years. Even though they had gone five years without talking, Rachel knew that Finn had never stopped believing in her.

Finn squeezed Rachel's hand again. "And I'm sure that's not the only Tony that you'll win, Rachel. Kurt told me all about the part you got in _Rent_."

"I'm excited," Rachel said. "It was one of my dream roles, and _they_ called _me_."

"When do you start rehearsals?" Finn asked.

Rachel bit her lip. "At the end of October." It was something that she and Finn hadn't talked about yet. It wasn't like they were avoiding the subject, or anything. It was more like it just hadn't come up. Finn was still recovering, and they were only coming up on mid-August. It wasn't as if they didn't have time to talk about it.

And Rachel had thought about it. She didn't know what his plans were, but she wanted him to know that he was more than welcome to come back to New York with her. They loved each other, they were together… and Rachel wanted him to come to New York. But that was something that he had to decide on his own.

But to Rachel's surprise, Finn didn't seem at all bothered by the topic of conversation. In fact, he was smiling. He hadn't let go of her hand. His calloused thumb stroked over her knuckles as he laced their fingers together.

"I have something to tell you, Rach," Finn said.

Oh God. This was it. They were going to talk about it. "Finn… I just want you to know that… When I go back to New York… I'd really like it if you were there, with me. If you want."

Finn's grin only grew wider. "That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about. I plan on finishing my degree, and I got accepted to NYU."

Rachel blinked at him. Had Finn really just said that he got accepted to NYU? But there Finn was, smiling at her, his eyes shining with happiness and excitement. He had already applied to NYU. He got accepted. He was going to New York anyway.

"Finn!" Rachel nearly launched herself across the table as she took his face in between her hands and kissed him deeply. "Finn, that is amazing!"

Finn laughed and kissed her again. It felt as if everything was finally going right. Rachel wanted him to go to New York with her. He got accepted to a great university and was going to finish his degree. They had found each other again. The heartbreak and the bad times were finally over.

"Let's get out of here and celebrate, Mr. NYU," Rachel suggested as she winked at him.

She didn't need to tell Finn twice.

* * *

"Rach."

Rachel looked up from her spot on Finn's bed. She was curled up in his comforter and had just woken up. Finn hadn't been beside her, but now he was standing next to the bed with only his plaid pajama pants on. He offered her his t-shirt, and Rachel slipped it on as she sat up.

"Good morning, Finn," she greeted as she stretched and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

Finn didn't say anything. Instead, he held out an envelope that had one word printed across it: "_Rachel._"

She looked at the envelope in confusion and looked up at Finn. His lips were pressed together, and he looked grim but sort of resigned as he offered the paper to her. Realization suddenly dawned. This was the letter.

Rachel slowly took it from him. Finn settled on the bed next to her and watched as she tore it open and unfolded the sheet of paper to reveal Finn's familiar, messy handwriting.

_Dear Rachel,_

_ You're beautiful, you know that?_

_ I know you don't believe me when I say that. But you really should. You're brilliant, and funny and have the biggest heart. You're sexy as hell. And you're beautiful both inside and out. And I'm definitely not the only that notices it, Rach. Everyone sees how brightly you shine. The entire world will see how amazing you are. I'm sure of it._

_ So if you're reading this, I'm probably dead._

_ I'm sorry. I didn't mean to just say it like that. But I wrote this letter just in case that happened. I just wanted to make sure that you knew a couple of things, just in case I never saw you again._

_ You might hate me right now. And that's okay. But I'd want you to hate me from New York while you lived your dream instead of hating me because I made you stay in Lima. That's why I put you on the train. New York City, Broadway—it's where you belong, baby. You were born to be on that stage, and I was born to love you._

_ I can do that from anywhere. But there's only one Broadway._

_ You should know that I never expected you to wait for me, Rach. I hoped, sure. But I didn't know how long I'd be gone, and it wouldn't have been fair to you. I meant what I said when I told you that we'd just have to let the universe do its thing. And if that means you date a few other guys, then I'm okay with that. I may not be there anymore, but I still have to make sure you're happy._

_ You're going to be a wonderful mother, Rachel. Don't be afraid. You're going to have babies that are going to be just as awesome as you, and you're going to do it with a guy that loves you. And I'm going to be watching over them, Rach. I promise that I won't let anything happen to them. Do you think you could maybe teach one of them to play the drums? Or throw a football?_

_ I miss you, Rach. I miss your beautiful voice, and your smile, and the way your hand feels when it's in mine. I miss holding you, I miss singing with you, I miss kissing you… I miss just being with you. I wish I could see you one last time, but since I can't… knowing that you have this letter is enough._

_ And I love you. I promised myself that I wasn't going to say that, but I had to. I love you so much, Rachel. It's a forever kind of love, you know? Our tether. It will always be there. I will never stop loving you, even if I'm not here._

_ Remember when I got you that star? I meant it when I said that I would always be watching over you. I'll look down on your family and I'll look out for them. And you too, Rachel. I will always look out for you, and I will always be there for you. Just look up at the sky. I'll always be looking down on you, and I will always love you._

_Forever Yours,_

_Finn_

Silent tears were streaming down Rachel's face as she closed her fist around the sheet of paper. Finn was watching her, but she didn't look at him. She wanted to tell him that he had been stupid. She wanted to say that he was unbelievable, and she wanted to rip the letter up and throw it in his face.

But she didn't.

Rachel loved Finn too much. She loved him, and she loved the letter he wrote. She loved that he was still looking out for her, even when he thought that he wouldn't make it back to her. She loved Finn and everything he did.

The words spilled from Rachel's mouth without her really realizing it. "I forgive you."

Finn's eyebrows lifted. "What?"

As soon as she had spoken, Rachel had known it was true. She really did forgive Finn. How could she not? "I forgive you." Rachel got up onto her knees and settled herself in front of Finn. "I forgive you for putting me on that train. I forgive you for not saying anything for five years. I forgive you for writing this letter. I don't think I've ever said it out loud, Finn. I just wanted you to know that."

"Rach…" Finn reached out and pulled her into his arms. "This letter was just in case. You deserved to read it, because you deserved to know. I'm not going to hide things from you anymore. And I always planned on finding you again."

Rachel pressed her ear over his heart. "You never have to write a letter like that again. Okay?"

"Okay," Finn agreed. He nuzzled his nose against her ear and pressed a kiss to her neck. "I love you."

Rachel snuggled closer to him, sliding her arms around his waist. "Are you trying to butter me up?"

A dimple appeared in Finn's left cheek as he gave her that crooked grin. "Is it working?"

"Maybe."

They sat in silence for a few moments as Finn ran his large, warm hands up and down Rachel's arms and back. She traced her fingers over his bare chest in swirling patterns and bit her lip before she tilted her face up towards his.

"Do you really want to go to New York?" she whispered.

Finn looked down at her. His face was neutral as he spoke. "Do you want me to come?"

"Of course I do!" Rachel pulled back enough so that she was facing him fully. "This is real, right?"

"This is it," Finn said with a nod of his head. "This is real, this is everything. I want this to be forever, Rachel."

A smile formed on Rachel's face. "Me too, Finn."

"I always wanted to end up in New York, you know?" Finn said. "Meeting you, and Kurt… it just made me think about what I wanted out of life and where I wanted to go with it. And I thought about staying in Lima, or going to California, or hell, maybe even Canada. But New York is really where I want to go. It may have taken me a while, but I finally figured out that I'm good enough for New York." He grinned at her. "And you're there, too, which is awesome. So to answer your question, yes, I do want to go to New York."

Rachel slung her leg over Finn's lap and straddled him. She pushed on his chest until he was lying back on the bed. She tugged the shirt she was wearing off and tossed it across the room as Finn grinned at her and slid his hands up her thighs.

Rachel hovered right over him, her lips brushing against his. "You have no idea how long I've waited for you to realize that, Finn."

His smile widened and he slid his hands from her thighs of to her sides, ghosting over her breasts. He chuckled when Rachel let out a quiet moan. "We're going to take New York by storm, baby," Finn muttered.

Rachel leaned over and kissed him deeply. "That sounds pretty perfect."

* * *

**Author's Note: I just re-read this chapter, and I'm not going to lie: I totally made myself cry when I read the letter. But I piled on the fluff at the end, so hopefully it's balanced. Thanks for reading, and please let me know what you think!**


	30. say you will

**Author's Note: Thank you so much for the amazing response to last chapter! And here's one of the chapters you've all been waiting for… The song used in this chapter is "Faithfully" by Journey. The chapter title comes from "Marry Me" by Train.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything.**

* * *

"Don't be nervous. She's going to say yes."

Finn looked up as Kurt came down the stairs. He was staring at the ring in his hand and remembering the first time he gave it to Rachel. This time was so different from that time six years ago. They were ready for this. It was finally Finn and Rachel's time.

Finn knew that. In his heart, he knew it. He smiled at Kurt as he sat down next to him. They both looked down at the ring, and Kurt tilted his head thoughtfully.

"You know, I never really looked at it before," Kurt said. "Back in high school, I mean. That really is a beautiful ring." He plucked the ring from Finn's palm and held it up, watching as it sparkled under the light. "Did you pick this out yourself?"

"Yeah," Finn said.

"I have to say, you did an excellent job. This ring fits Rachel perfectly."

He shrugged his shoulders. "When I saw the ring, I thought of Rachel. And in that moment, I knew that I wanted to propose to her." He chuckled a little. "It may not have been at the best time, but I was pretty sure of what I wanted then. I knew that I was good at one thing, and that was loving Rachel Berry."

Kurt sighed. "Finn, you know that's not true. You're good at so many things. You're an amazing brother, friend, and leader. People look up to you and admire you, despite what you may think. You're loyal and compassionate and smart. And you've always been good enough. You're going to be an amazing teacher, Finn."

"Thanks, Kurt," Finn said after a long moment. "It took me too long to figure out that I'm good enough, you know?"

"You finally came into your own," Kurt said. "I hate to say it, but I feel as if that was a journey you had to take on your own. Rachel always believed in you, but she couldn't make you believe in yourself. That was something that you had to do on your own."

Finn smiled and patted Kurt on the shoulder. He was right. As much as he had wanted to spend these past five years with Rachel, he knew that he had to come up with his own dreams and realize that he was good enough all on his own.

"I can only hope that Rachel is going to say yes," Finn muttered. He had a feeling that she would, though. It was time now to have complete faith in himself, in Rachel, and in their relationship. No more doubting what they were and what they had.

"Oh, good God," Kurt breathed. "We're grown up now. We're really, actually adults."

The wide-eyed look on Kurt's face caused Finn to dissolve into laughter. "I guess we are, Kurt. Feels kind of good, doesn't it?"

"It's certainly better than high school. We thought those were the glory days? These are. These are the days that are going to be the best. High school and college helped us grow into the people that we are now. Now… everything falls into place."

* * *

"We should hire strippers."

Blaine gave Santana an incredulous look. "Santana, it's not a bachelorette party. It's an engagement party. They don't have strippers at engagement parties."

"I agree with Lopez on this one," Puck declared. "We should hire strippers and make this into a real party."

In response, Quinn hit Puck on the back of the head. "Don't be a pig," she said in a mildly amused voice. "We're not hiring strippers."

"It was just a suggestion," Santana said. "But we need to make sure that we have pink drinks. Berry is going to want some of that pink shit to celebrate."

Tina clapped her hands together. "This is so exciting! I can't believe that this is happening."

"Finally," Santana added with a snort.

"What's Finn's plan?" Mercedes asked.

Artie shook his head. "We tried to get it out of him, but he's being very secretive about it. He won't tell any of us where he's taking her or what he plans on doing."

"That bastard won't even tell me," Puck said with a scowl. "And I'm his best friend!"

"He won't tell me, either, and I'm his brother _and_ Rachel's best friend," Kurt pointed out. "If there's anyone who should know what he has planned, it should be me. But no! We have to keep everything a secret."

Mike shook his head in amusement. "Oh, leave Finn alone," he said. "Let him propose to Rachel in peace. We will leave them alone until then."

"Do we at least know when he's doing it?" Mercedes asked. "We have to know the time frame so we can plan this party."

"Finn said he would do it by the end of this week," Kurt revealed. "So I was thinking of having this party on Saturday. Does that work for everyone?"

"Can Lord Tubbington come?" Brittany asked. "When we first came back from New York, I had to leave him at a kennel. He wasn't happy with me, and he won't be happy if he's not invited to this party."

"Lord Tubbington can come if he wants to, Brittany," Kurt said with a smile. It may have been weird, but that overweight cat had somehow become part of their family over the years. And he had especially taken a liking to Rachel.

"Okay. Make sure you have white tuna there for him. That's the only kind of fish he'll eat. If you can't find that, he'll take some hotdogs."

Santana kissed Brittany's cheek before she said, "I could beat the exact time out of Finn, if you wanted me to. It shouldn't be that hard."

Sam shook his head. "You have to remember that Finn spent the past five years in the army. The dude knows how to defend himself. And he knows how to resist torture, too."

"Damn it," Santana grumbled. "I forgot about that. Guess I can't have fun with him anymore. Puck, get over here! I need to kick someone's ass!"

"Could you please refrain?" Kurt demanded. "We need to plan this party! It has to be perfect for Finn and Rachel."

"Don't worry, Kurt," Blaine said as he rubbed his boyfriend's back. "Everything will work out just fine."

* * *

"Can you tell me where you're taking me?" Rachel asked. "_Please?_"

Finn chuckled and reached over with one hand, waving it in front of Rachel's face. He just wanted to check to make sure that the blindfold was completely secure. "Rach, for the tenth time, I'm not telling you. It's a surprise."

"Ugh, fine." Rachel crossed her arms and pouted dramatically, causing Finn to laugh again. He parked his truck and went around the other side to help Rachel out. He kept one hand on her back and took one of her hands in his other one.

"We don't have far to walk," Finn said. "Just be patient."

"I don't like being patient."

Finn paused so he could kiss the pout off of Rachel's lips. He didn't stop until she was smiling against his mouth and gripping his shirt in her tiny fists. When he pulled away, Rachel giggled.

"Hmm, I kind of like this blindfold," she muttered as she rubbed her hands over his chest. "Heightens the senses."

Finn's eyes went wide at Rachel's implications, but he forced himself to shake his head and focus. If everything went well, he had no doubt that he would be using that blindfold to do some celebrating tonight.

It wasn't long before they reached their destination. Finn walked into the room and shut the door behind him. He guided Rachel into a very familiar chair and then stood behind her. He slipped the blindfold off and reached into his pocket, quickly preparing himself.

Rachel blinked as she looked around, trying to get a bearing on her surroundings. It took her a few moments to realize that she was sitting in the choir room at McKinley High School. Her brow furrowed in confusion.

"Finn?" She twisted in her chair as she tried to find him. "Why are we in the—"

Rachel stopped talking abruptly when she realized that Finn was just to the left of her, kneeling on the ground. He was holding a box out, and it was open to display a ring that she knew very well.

Tears immediately came to her eyes as her heart swelled. "Finn…" she breathed.

"Rachel." Finn took her hand with his free one and squeezed tightly. "Nearly six years ago, I knelt in front of you in the auditorium and asked you to spend the rest of your life with me. Circumstances being what they were, things didn't exactly work out the way I had planned."

Rachel couldn't stop the smile from forming on her face. She wanted to jump forward and throw her arms around Finn. She wanted to scream yes so that everyone could hear it. But she knew that what Finn had to say was very important. He had things that he wanted to say, and she was going to listen to him.

"I love you so much, Rachel. Our love is more than… it's more than anything, really. It's endured separation and war and heartbreak and, against all odds, we managed to find our way back to each other. It took me a while to realize it, but… it's not about me thinking that you're too good for me or you thinking that I'm too good for you. You love me and I love you. That's all that matters."

Finn shifted so that he was on both his knees and more level with Rachel. He let go of her hand, only to reach up and cup her cheek instead. "We may have had a lot of moments in the auditorium, but we had a lot of moments in here, too. It's because of your love and compassion that I became a better person in high school. This choir room is where it all changed for me, Rachel. This is where you inspired me to become a better man. This is where I truly realized that I loved you for the first time. And this is where you saved me."

A tear rolled down Rachel's cheek, and Finn brushed it away with his thumb. He kissed her cheek softly and continued to speak. "This is where you saved me. I wasn't in a good place, but you helped me come back, Rachel. It was here, in this choir room, that you helped me realize that I was good enough, that I wasn't as broken as I thought I was."

"So." Finn held up the ring again. "I love you. And I know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I knew it when I was sixteen, I knew it when I was in the army, I knew it when I was in the desert in the middle of Afghanistan, and I know it now. I thank God every day that you love me, and I hope that you'll continue to let me love you. Because I will, forever. So, Rachel Berry… Will you marry me?"

There was no hesitation. Rachel knew exactly what her answer was. She got off the chair and sank to her knees in front of Finn, taking his face in both of her hands. She kissed him softly, loving the wide grin that formed on his face.

"Yes, Finn," she whispered. "Yes."

Finn wrapped his arms around Rachel and pulled her towards him, kissing her deeply. When they broke apart, Finn slid the ring onto Rachel's finger once again. She looked down at it, marveling at how right and perfect it looked on her finger before she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him again. She pressed as close to him as she possibly could, practically climbing into his lap.

"I love you, Finn," Rachel said when they broke apart.

"Hmm." Finn smirked as he lifted Rachel up and settled into the chair that used to be his, right next to the one Rachel had just been sitting in. "Do you think we could go for a repeat performance?"

Rachel kissed Finn again and smirked as she tugged the blindfold out of his pocket. "I think we might be able to make that happen."

* * *

"SURPRISE!"

Rachel jumped and pressed a hand to her chest as the lights in the Hudmel house flicked on and she was greeted with the face of all her friends. She turned towards Finn, who was grinning broadly.

"Let's see that rock, Berry!" Santana called.

"Santana!" Rachel rushed towards her friend and hugged her tightly. "Quinn, Puck, Brittany! You guys all came back!"

"We wouldn't miss this," Quinn said. "We figured that we'd give you an engagement party now, while everyone was around."

"So, tell us about how he proposed!" Tina exclaimed. She rushed forward to look at the ring. It looked just as pretty as it had nearly six years ago, and they all knew that it was never going to come off of Rachel's finger now.

"He took me in the choir room and did it there," Rachel exclaimed. She beamed before her brow furrowed in confusion. "Speaking of… Finn, how did you get the ring back from me, anyway? I kept it in my jewelry box back at my house."

Finn grinned and wrapped his arm around Rachel, pulling her close into his side. She slid her hand up his chest and rested her head against it, as well. "I sent Kurt on a recon mission for it. He knew where you kept the ring, so he took it about almost three weeks ago."

"Guilty," Kurt confirmed with a wide grin.

"Come on, now!" Santana called. She passed a flute of pink champagne to Rachel and another one full of soda to Finn. "Artie, crank up the music. Let's get this party started!"

With a beaming smile, Rachel stood on her tiptoes and pressed a kiss to Finn's lips. "Dance with me?"

Finn sighed dramatically. "I haven't improved, but I will if I have to. Besides, it'll be good practice."

"I'm thinking "Faithfully" might be a wonderful song for our first dance," Rachel said as she slid her arms around Finn's neck.

"'I've got the joy of rediscovering you'," Finn quoted. "I can't think of a better song."

* * *

**Author's Note: So what did you think? Thanks for reading!**


	31. this bond between us can't be broken

**Author's Note: Thank you so much for the amazing reviews last chapter! So, there's one more chapter after this, and then the epilogue. I'm still writing that, by the way. It's going to be pretty decently sized! I hope that you all enjoy this chapter! This chapter title comes from "You'll be in my Heart" by Phil Collins.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything.**

* * *

"I'm so proud of you, Finn."

Finn smiled as his mother walked into the kitchen. "Thanks, Mom," he said. He didn't really know what else to say, but it was definitely nice to hear it. For so long he had been afraid that he was disappointing people. And he had been especially afraid of disappointing his mother, because she had worked so hard just to make sure his life was all it could be. It was just nice to know that all of his fears were unfounded.

"I was proud of you in high school," Carole revealed. "And, despite the fact that I wasn't exactly thrilled with you joining up, I was proud of you then, too. And I'm proud of how hard you tried when you can home."

Finn exhaled slowly. Things were better for him. He still had nightmares, and he still had bouts of anger and anxiety, and he probably would for a long time. But that darkness didn't creep up nearly as much as it used to. He had never really thought that what he had been doing was anything to be proud of. He was just trying to live, really.

"And I'm so proud of you now, Finn. You're going to NYU, and you're engaged to Rachel again, and you're going to be a teacher. I just… I'm really amazed, Finn."

Finn grinned at Carole, and it reminded her of when he was a little boy. "I have you to thank for that, Mom," Finn said. "You taught me so much about life and love and what it meant to be a man. You were a mom and a dad to me. I can only hope that I'll be as good a parent to my kids one day."

"Of course you will," Carole said. "You're going to be an amazing father. I, for one, can't wait for my first grandbaby. But no pressure." Finn laughed and Carole sat next to Finn at the table. "When it came to raising you, I thought about your father a lot."

The smile slowly slipped off of Finn's face. He stared down at his hands, suddenly quiet at the mention of his late father. His mind immediately went back to when he had last visited the headstone a little over a month ago. Then, he had been so full of anger and confusion and pain. And part of him was still angry, and maybe he always would be. But it didn't hurt as much now. And maybe that anger would go away one day.

"You did?" Finn finally said. It was an invitation for his mother to elaborate further. There had always been a sort of unspoken rule between them: they didn't talk about Chris Hudson. The only conversations they ever truly had about him was when Carole had first explained to Finn that his father had died, and then later when she had told him the truth about how he actually died.

"Finn." Carole reached over and squeezed her son's hand. "You have to know that your father was a good man. One of the best I have ever known. The things that happened to him were sad and horrible, but he shouldn't be defined by the end of his life."

"But why… Why was I able to work through it, and he wasn't?" Finn whispered. "Why did he fall apart and lose everything?"

Carole's eyes were shining as she spoke. "I don't know, Finn. I wish I had all the answers, but I don't. I don't know what your father was thinking during the last few months of his life. I don't know what happened to him, and I don't know or understand what he went through. He never talked to me. He didn't talk to anyone."

She sniffled a little and wiped under her eyes with her fingers. Finn swallowed hard and kept his eyes trained on a spot on the table. If there was one thing he couldn't handle, it was seeing his mother cry. Watching her cry, more often than not, caused him to break down as well.

"Maybe that's the difference between you and your father," Carole said. "You talked to people. You sought out help. I think you learned from his mistakes."

Finn nodded his head slowly. "I didn't want to turn out like him."

"Oh, Finn. When I look at you, I see the best parts of your father sometimes. You are your own person, but your loyalty, your compassion, the protective instinct you have… your father was the same way."

Finn looked at her, and she smiled a little. "You know," Carole began quietly. "When I was pregnant, your father used to put his head next to my stomach and talk to you."

Finn finally cracked a smile of his own. "Yeah?"

"Oh, he used to say all sorts of things. He told you stories, and he talked about how much he wanted to teach you football. Did you know that he loved music, too?"

"Really? You never told me that." This was news to Finn. He had always wondered where he had gotten his musical aptitude from. He guessed that it only made sense that it came from his father.

Carole grinned and nodded her head. "He used to sing songs to you. I would wake up in the middle of the night and find him singing eighties pop ballads to my stomach. Do you want to know the first song he ever sang to you?"

Finn looked up at his mother, silently telling her that he wanted to know. She smiled again and squeezed his hand. "He sang "I Can't Fight This Feeling Anymore." It was his favorite song to sing to you. He sang it at least once a week."

A tear streaked its way down Finn's cheek. He brushed it away and gave his mother a watery smile. Finding out that the first song he ever sang was used as a lullaby by his father made him feel more connected the man he never met.

"Your father was a good man," Carole repeated. "And I know that he would be proud of you, too."

* * *

Finn tucked his hands into his pockets as he waved his way in and out of the headstones. It was a surprisingly cool day, but he didn't mind it. The sun peeked in and out from behind the clouds every so often, and it looked as if it was going to rain. That didn't deter Finn, though.

He followed the familiar path until he reached his father's headstone. Instead of standing over it, Finn sat down in front of the stone and stared at it for a long moment.

"I'm not angry," he finally said. Finn had never done something like this before. He had never sat in front of his father's headstone and tried to talk to him. It was oddly freeing, though.

"I mean…" Finn cleared his throat. "I am angry. But not as much I was before." He dragged a hand through his hair. "I wish I could have met you, you know? There were times when I really needed to talk to my dad. But I guess I could have come here."

Finn dug the toe of his sneaker into the dirt. "I wish you didn't go out the way you did. But I just wanted you to know… I forgive you, Dad. I don't know if I have a right, or if it's my place, but… I just wanted you to know. I think it's good to be forgiven for things you feel like you have no right to have redemption for. I kind of felt the same way in the past. I did a lot of things I'm not proud of, but the people I love forgave me anyway.

"Despite it all, I do love you, Dad. And we can forgive the people we love anything. So…"

Finn trailed off. Dipping his hand into his pocket, but pulled the nameplate from his dress uniform out and held it up. He twisted it in his hands, studying the engraving of his last name before he began to speak again.

"I joined the army, you know. I told people that I did it because I wanted to get you an honorable discharge, but… I knew the likelihood of that was pretty slim. And I'm sorry. Mom is right. You don't deserve to be defined by the last few months of your life.

"Did you know that I was honorably discharged? I was in for five years. Then we got caught by a roadside bomb, and it destroyed my wrist, pretty much. No more army for me. But I'm going to be a teacher now. I think that I've always wanted to be a teacher, honestly."

Just then, the sky opened up. A gentle mist began to fall from the sky, but Finn didn't move. He tilted his face towards it and inhaled deeply. The fresh air and the scent of the rain helped to clear his mind.

"I didn't know what I wanted to do with myself when I graduated from high school. I was lost, and the army seemed like the direction I needed to go in. I know now that telling people that I was joining to redeem you was kind of a cop out. All I needed to do to redeem you was to forgive you. Even so, I'm glad I joined the army. It helped me find who I was, and it helped me realize that I am good enough. I just wanted you to know that."

Finn leaned forward and dug up a little patch of dirt in front of his father's headstone. He pressed his nameplate into the cool earth and buried it again. He stared at his father's name before he touched it with his fingertips.

As Finn stood up and left, a faint rainbow appeared in the sky.

* * *

Rachel didn't ask questions as Finn took her to their unknown destination. After dinner, he had quietly approached her and asked her to come with him. The look in his eyes let her know that this was something that was very important to Finn.

She still didn't say anything when she realized that they were at the cemetery. Finn got out of the truck and walked around to her side, opening her door for her. He took her hand and silently led her down the path. His calloused thumb rubbed over the back of her hand, and she squeezed gently.

They stopped in front of a headstone, and Rachel read the inscription. She looked at Finn with wide eyes, and he gave her that wonderful half smile. His eyes were soft as he looked at her, then to the headstone, and then back to her.

"I just thought it would be nice for you to meet him," Finn said. "If you want to."

Rachel stood on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek. "I want to," she said.

Finn smiled at her, leaning down to kiss her softly. His hand cupped her face, his thumb gently stroking over her cheek as he looked into her eyes. Rachel once again marveled over the change of the look in his eyes. Back in mid-June, there had been such a pain and sadness there. Now, she saw nothing but lightness and happiness, and it made her heart swell with even more love for him.

Finn turned back towards the headstone but didn't let go of Rachel's hand. "Dad," he began. "I'd like to introduce you to someone very important to me. This is Rachel Berry, and she's my fiancée."

Rachel beamed. She loved hearing that word again, and she loved knowing that that was how Finn was going to introduce her from now on. She couldn't wait until Finn could introduce her as his wife, and she could introduce him as her husband.

"Hello, Mr. Hudson," Rachel said as she gave a little wave to the headstone. The smile on Finn's face grew at Rachel's response to his introduction.

"She's the love my life, Dad," Finn continued. "She means more to me than… than anything, really. She's so amazing. I know that you would have loved her." He pulled Rachel close and pressed a kiss to her temple. "She's my everything. She saved me, you know."

Rachel squeezed his hand and turned back towards the headstone. "Mr. Hudson, you should know that Finn saved me, too. He made me want to be a better person, and he helped me achieve my dream. Finn always believed in me. I just wanted you to know that Finn is an amazing man, and you have a lot to be proud of."

Rachel pressed her fingers to her lips and then bent down, pressing them to the headstone. Her words and actions made tears come to Finn's eyes. His throat closed up, and he once again felt so lucky and special to be the one who was loved by Rachel Berry and got to love her in return.

Finn pulled Rachel into his arms and kissed her deeply. She cupped his cheeks and brushed her thumbs under his eyes. When she pulled away, she brushed her lips across his cheeks, collecting the few tears that had trickled down his skin.

"You're amazing, Rach," Finn breathed out.

Rachel beamed at him and kissed him again. She took his hand again, lacing their fingers together. "Let's go home."

Home. Together. That sounded amazing.

* * *

**Author's Note: So. Closure. I think that it's pretty important. And I threw some Finchel fluff in there, too! Please let me know what you think!**


	32. to have and to hold

**Author's Note: You guys are amazing! The reviews you leave are lovely, and I wish there was something else I could do besides say thank you. This chapter title comes from the song "Wedding Dress" by Matt Nathanson. And I keep referencing "Faithfully" by Journey in this story. But that's because it's Finn and Rachel's song, so… yeah. And I also threw a little bit of "I Won't Give Up" by Jason Mraz, because I feel like that's such a Finchel song.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything.**

* * *

**October 2018**

**New York City, New York**

Finn grinned and wiped his forehead with the back of his hand. He tossed one of his drumsticks up in the air and caught it with his right hand. Then, looking at his left hand, he experimentally did the same. An excited "whoop!" escaped his lips when he successfully caught it.

Just then, the door to the apartment opened and Rachel came in. She hung her keys on the hook next to the door and shed her light jacket. She smiled when she saw her fiancé sitting in the corner of the living room at his drum set.

Brady came barreling into the living room and jumped up onto his hind legs to greet Rachel. Since he was no longer a puppy, he could easily knock Rachel over. Brady wasn't as big as Rachel, but he was a strong dog. Rachel laughed as the dog licked her cheek and patted his head. When Brady was finished with his greeting, he went back over to Finn and sat in front of his drum set.

"Practicing?" she asked as she made her way over to him. Rachel wrapped her arms around Finn's shoulders and pressed a kiss to her cheek. And there he was, wearing his glasses again. Finn knew exactly what those glasses and that scruff on his jaw did to her.

Finn took her hand and tugged her into his lap. He kissed her properly and wrapped his arms around her. "Just giving it a try." He had been drumming for about an hour now, and he didn't want to push himself too hard.

Rachel ran her fingers down the pink scars on the inside of Finn's forearm. "How does your wrist feel?" she asked.

Finn twisted it before he linked their fingers together. "Pretty good," he said with a smile. "I should probably stop now, though."

"That's right," Rachel said. She tugged the drumsticks from Finn's hands and set them aside. "You should do your strengthening exercises."

Finn smirked and slid his hands up Rachel's thighs, twisting her in his lap so that she was straddling him. "I can think of some other exercises that would work out pretty well for my wrist," he murmured as he leaned forward and attached his lips to her neck.

Rachel tilted her head back and threaded her fingers through Finn's hair. "Finn, we shouldn't," she said. "Your brother will be here in twenty minutes."

Finn nipped at her pulse point. "That's more than enough time." He kissed Rachel before she could respond, his tongue slipping into her mouth as his hands slid up under her shirt. Rachel moaned and completely melted against him.

Just then, the door to Finn and Rachel's apartment flew open. Kurt walked in with his hands over his eyes, and Santana, Brittany, and Quinn were following close behind him.

"Okay! All fornication has to stop now!" Kurt called out.

Finn groaned and buried his face against Rachel's neck. "You're not supposed to be here for another twenty minutes."

"We decided to come early, Finnegan," Santana said. "We have to take Rachel to the hotel room."

"Already?" Finn held Rachel tighter, and she pressed another kiss to his cheek. "Can't we just have a little more time?"

"Finn, you and Rachel are getting married in approximately twenty-six hours," Kurt said. "As per tradition, you are not to see the bride before then. Now come on, Rachel. We have your bag all packed. Say goodbye to my dear brother."

"You're in my wedding party, Kurt," Finn grumbled. "You're supposed to be on my side."

Kurt rolled his eyes. He didn't feel that it was necessary to mention that the rule of not seeing the bride before the wedding had been broken—twice. Kurt would be damned if he let it happen a third time. This wedding was going to go off without a hitch. "I also planned this wedding, and I need to make sure everything goes perfectly. Ergo, you and Rachel will not see each other until she walks down the aisle tomorrow. So say your farewells. You have three minutes."

The three girls and Kurt all went to wait in the hallway. Rachel wrapped her arms around Finn and kissed him again. "I'm so excited for tomorrow," she whispered against his lips.

"Me too," Finn murmured. He ran his hands up and down her back and pulled her close for a deep, passionate kiss. Finn ran his hand down to Rachel's and rubbed his fingers over the ring that was placed on the third finger of her left hand. In the year since they had returned to New York, it hadn't left that spot once.

There was a loud pounding on the front door. "Come on, hobbit!" Santana called. "Time to get going!"

Rachel kissed Finn quickly once again. "I love you," she told him as she climbed off his lap.

Finn grinned. "I love you, too."

* * *

Finn had finished his degree and his student teaching that past May. Thanks to a recommendation from one of his professors, he had secured a job at a private school as an elementary music teacher. Rachel's run in _Rent_ was going fabulously. While Rachel had not been nominated for a Tony again, the musical itself had been nominated and won for Best Revival. Rachel was just as proud of that as she was of her own Tony (but you could definitely count on her getting nominated for her next show).

Not wanting to rush into things, Finn and Rachel planned for a year-long engagement. When he first moved to New York, Finn had been roommates with Puck. That lasted for about five months before Finn and Rachel started leaving more and more of their things in each other's apartments and spending more and more nights together. Finally, around the six and half month mark of Finn's stay in New York, he and Rachel had decided to look for an apartment together. Blaine moved in with Kurt, and Brittany and Santana took the extra room in Puck's apartment. Quinn was still living on her own, but everyone knew that Puck was planning on asking her to move in with him (he and Quinn were taking their relationship slowly and planned on doing things the right way this time).

Now that they were both adults and had real, paying jobs, Finn and Rachel were able to plan a real wedding. And with Kurt, Carole, Hiram, and Leroy (but mostly Kurt) at the head of planning, they were able to get their dream wedding. Everything was taking place at a beautiful greenhouse, and Kurt had planned it to perfection. He was quite proud of it—especially of the dress he had designed for Rachel.

Rachel sat in front of the mirror and stared at her reflection. In less than an hour, she would (finally) be marrying Finn Hudson. Everything felt so right and perfect, and for once, she didn't feel like it was going to disappear. She tilted her head, studying her twisted up-do.

"Oh, Rachel," Kurt said as he sat next to her. "You look beautiful."

"Thanks to you, Kurt," Rachel said as she gave him a hug.

"My brother isn't going to know what hit him when you walk down that aisle, Rachel."

Kurt had really outdone himself with the design. This dress was strapless with a sweetheart neckline, and it flowed gently to the floor. There was a belt that cinched in Rachel's waist with a jeweled broach centered in the middle. It was just the right amount of sparkle.

Paige came into the room with Emma. She was dressed in a little white dress, also designed by Kurt, and she had a basket of pink tulip petals. She looked up at Rachel with wide eyes. "Aunt Rachie," she said. "You look like a princess."

Kurt looked impressed with himself. "I am amazing," he declared. "This wedding is going to be magical, and it's because I'm amazing."

Rachel laughed and hugged Kurt again. She really was thankful that he had taken the time to plan her and Finn's perfect wedding. This was everything that she had dreamed about when she was a little girl.

Santana stalked into the room and put her hands on her hips. "I can't believe you're making me wear pink again, Berry," she said. "I already did it once, and now you're making me do it again."

"Come on, be fair," Tina said. She was carrying her son, Ethan. He gurgled happily in his mother's arms. "These dresses are much prettier than last time. No offense, Rachel."

Rachel laughed. "None taken." These dresses, also designed by Kurt, were a much softer pink than before. They were also strapless, with a jeweled belt under the bust, and the hem flowed to just above the knees. They would be carrying small bouquets of pink tulips, dyed to match their dresses. Rachel's own bouquet of tulips was a brighter pink.

There was another knock on the door, and Rachel's daddy and papa came in. They were both wearing matching smiles as they looked at their daughter in her pretty white dress. This was everything they had dreamed of for her, too.

"Are you ready, princess?" Leroy asked softly.

Rachel stood up and took her spot between her fathers. "So ready, Papa," she said.

Paige, Santana, Brittany, Quinn, Tina, and Mercedes all made their way down the aisle. Then the wedding march started, and Rachel and her fathers came into view. Her eyes immediately zeroed in on Finn and the rest of the world faded away.

He looked so, so handsome in his tuxedo. Kurt, Puck, Mike, Sam, and Will were standing behind him. Finn stared at her as she walked down the aisle, his eyes shining and a bright smile on his lips. Rachel didn't even look away from him as her fathers kissed her cheek and shook hands with Finn. They placed her hand in his, and she held it tightly as she stepped up to him.

They opted for the traditional vows; mostly because they wanted to be husband and wife as soon as possible. But of course, they wanted to add their own little twist to it.

The celebrant turned to Rachel. "Rachel Berry, do you take Finn Hudson to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

Rachel slid the ring onto Finn's finger. "I do," she said, beaming brightly. And looking right into Finn's eyes, she added, "I'm forever yours, faithfully."

The celebrant turned towards Finn then and asked him the same question. "Finn Hudson, do you take Rachel Berry to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

"I do," Finn said as he slid the ring he had picked out for Rachel onto her finger. And he repeated the words right back to her: "I'm forever yours, faithfully."

The guests burst into applause before the celebrant could speak again. Rachel and Finn couldn't stop beaming at each other as they waited for the noise to die down, and they certainly didn't mind it. Apparently, the crowd had been waiting for this moment as long as they had.

Once the impromptu applause had quieted, the celebrant quickly said, "You may kiss the bride."

Finn cupped Rachel's cheeks and kissed her deeply, dipping her back. The crowd's cheers grew in volume as the newly wedded couple kissed. Their closest friends and family were especially vocal about it.

Finn and Rachel made their way back down the aisle, officially as man and wife. Finally.

* * *

Finn had his arms wrapped around Rachel as they swayed slowly on the dance floor. She had her cheek pressed to his chest, her fingers curled into the lapels of his jacket. She was humming softly along to the song playing. Suddenly, she pulled back and looked at Finn with wide eyes.

"We're married," she said.

Finn chuckled and cupped her cheek, rubbing his thumb gently across her lips. "I know," he said.

"We're finally married," Rachel repeated. "For real." She pressed her lips to the pad of Finn's thumb. "I love you."

Finn grinned and twirled Rachel out, singing along with the song. "_I'm giving you all my love. I'm still looking up._"

When the song ended, everyone took their seats, and the toasts were given. Will got up to give his own toast. He smiled at the happy couple as he took his spot up front.

"The first time I actually spoke to Finn, it was because I accused him of harboring some weed in his locker. That was completely false, by the way. I was just desperate to get him to join the glee club. And that was where I saw him sing with Rachel Berry for the first time. And honestly, I knew then and there that something special had been created. Every time they sang together, I just knew that it would lead to bigger and better things for them. And here we are, nine years later, at their wedding."

Will raised his glass. "So here's to Finn and Rachel, and the joy of rediscovering. Congratulations."

Puck, Santana, and Kurt all gave speeches as well. When it was Kurt's turn, he stood at the front of the room and waited until the entire crowd of guests was looking at him.

"So it may come as no surprise to anyone that when Rachel and I first met, we didn't really like each other." The guests laughed and Kurt smiled before he continued. "And Finn and I weren't really on the best of terms, either. But something happened during our time in high school—our time in glee club. We eventually came to understand one another. More than that, we became brothers and sisters in our own right. Rachel is a girl after my own heart and Finn is my brother. And I knew from the very start that they would find each other and be together forever. And since I'm always right, it actually did happen. So congratulations, Finn and Rachel. I love you two dearly."

Finn and Rachel hugged Kurt tightly. They hugged Puck, Santana, and Will as well and thanked them for their beautiful and wonderful toasts. The cake was cut, and Rachel dabbed some icing onto Finn's nose. He laughed and swiped some across her cheek before he leaned forward and kissed it off.

"Finn Hudson!" Kurt shrieked. "I swear to God, if you get any icing on Rachel's dress—"

As if to make a point, Finn swiped his finger through the icing and traced it directly over the top of Rachel's dress. With a smirk, he leaned down and quickly licked the small bit of icing away. Rachel squealed and laughed, giggling at Finn's antics. She threaded her fingers into Finn's hair and pulled him close to kiss him passionately.

"Christ, Berry!" Santana called. "Wait for the honeymoon."

Rachel rested her head on Finn's chest and wound her arms around his waist. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head and held her close. She grinned at her friends.

"It's Hudson, now," Rachel said.

* * *

"I love our friends and everything," Finn mumbled against Rachel's neck. He nipped and sucked at her pulse point, and Rachel moaned, tilting her head back. "But I'm glad that we're here now."

Finn and Rachel were in a honeymoon suite until their flight the next day to a resort in Barbados. For the moment, they planned to take full advantage of their time in the honeymoon suite. They hadn't even made it to the bedroom yet; Finn currently had Rachel pressed against the door. Her dress had already been shed and hastily draped over a chair. She had already pushed his tux jacket off and unbuttoned his shirt.

"Babe," Finn breathed as he pulled back a little bit. He traced his fingers over the lingerie that Rachel was wearing. "How much do you like this white lacey thing?" He palmed her breast through it, and Rachel moaned.

"Wh… what?" she mumbled. She pretty much lost all coherent thought when Finn's hands and mouth were on her.

With a smirk, Finn easily ripped apart the flimsy fabric. Rachel gasped and Finn's hand dropped to the matching white, lacy panties, and he ripped those off, too.

"_Finn_," Rachel gasped. "Oh, God."

He smirked and hoisted her up, closing his lips around one of her nipples as his free hand massaged her other breast. Rachel locked her legs even more tightly around Finn's waist and rolled her hips against the hardness she could feel. Finn groaned and grasped her hips even more tightly.

Rachel quickly unbuttoned his pants and pushed them down, along with his boxers. Finn ran his hard length against her core and Rachel moaned again, clutching at his shoulders. With one swift movement, Finn thrust into her. Rachel cried out as their hips began to roll against each other's.

"I love you," Finn told her.

"_Oh_," Rachel gasped. "I love you, too."

Finn's movements were slow and steady, but when Rachel tightened around him, he moved faster. She dragged her fingers down his back and arched up as she came, crying his name out. Finn followed her right over the edge, supporting her against the door.

Once they caught their breath again, Rachel couldn't stop the giggle that escaped her. "So… The door."

Finn laughed. "The door," he repeated. "Yes. And we also have the balcony, the couch, the floor, that armchair, the counter in the kitchenette, the shower wall, the shower bench, the bathroom counter…"

"And the bed," Rachel added. "Don't forget about the bed."

"Ah, yes. That will be the last stop on Finn Hudson and Rachel Berry's grand honeymoon tour."

"Rachel Hudson."

Finn grinned and kissed Rachel again, picking her up to carry her to the shower. "Rachel Hudson. I love you."

"And I love you, Finn Hudson."

* * *

**Author's Note: So the next chapter is the epilogue. And it is super long, so don't worry, you'll have a lot to read. In this chapter, I wanted to give a glimpse into Finn and Rachel's life so far. And I couldn't resist writing the wedding, because I always love a good Finchel wedding. Since we're nearing the end of the story, I'd love to hear from the silent readers, too! I hope that you all enjoyed this chapter!**


	33. epilogue: we're alive, we are loved

**Author's Note: Wow. We've finally reached the end. I never imagined that I was going to get such an amazing response to this story. I'm super attached to this and I honestly think it's one of the best things I've ever written. Thank you so much for all of your kind words and support. I truly appreciate it. This chapter title comes from "I Won't Give Up" by Jason Mraz.**

**The song used in this chapter is "Somewhere over the Rainbow," sung by Judy Garland.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

* * *

**June 2019**

Rachel's brow furrowed as she felt the mattress shifting next to her. She was still half-asleep, so she wasn't exactly sure of what was going on. She furrowed further into the bed, wondering if it was part of a dream. When the movements didn't cease, she cracked open an eye.

Next to her on the bed, Finn was thrashing around. His brow was furrowed and he had a pained expression on his face. His skin was covered in a light sheen of sweat, and he suddenly cried out in pain.

Rachel's heart clenched in shared pain for her husband. It had been a while since he had had a nightmare like this, but it made sense. It had been about two years since the attack in Afghanistan. And it was a little over seven years since he had put her on the train to New York. With two of the worst events of his life being so close together, Finn was bound to have nightmares during the anniversary. This was always the worst time of year for him. It was the one day when things were bad.

Careful not to startle him, Rachel reached out and pressed her fingers to Finn's bare chest. "Finn," she called in a loud enough voice to wake him, but not to surprise him.

It was enough. Finn jerked awake and shot straight up in bed, his chest heaving. His scars, though they had faded over the past two years, were thrown into sharp relief in the moonlight streaming into the windows.

"Finn," Rachel repeated.

He swallowed hard before he turned to look at her. He stared into her eyes for several long moments, taking comfort in her steady gaze. Finally, he whispered, "I'm sorry." He looked back down at his hands, which were clenching in his lap.

Rachel sat up fully and crawled towards him. She found his t-shirt deposited on the side of the bed and pulled it over her naked body before she put her hands on his arm. When he didn't look at her, Rachel lifted one hand and placed it on his cheek, turning his face towards hers.

"Don't be sorry," she told him firmly.

His hands clenched again. "I didn't mean to wake you."

"I don't mind," Rachel assured him. "Talk to me, Finn."

Finn shrugged his shoulders and glanced at her. "It was the usual," he mumbled. "Nothing new. Just… flashbacks."

Finn still wouldn't go into too much detail about what happened on that day. The nightmares had become less and less frequent after they had moved to New York together. It wasn't long before they had become so infrequent that neither Finn nor Rachel worried about them anymore. But this was the one time of year when they returned.

"Are you okay?" Rachel finally asked. She put her other hand on his other cheek, smoothing her thumbs under his eyes. Finn stared at her for another long moment before his entire body finally relaxed.

"Yeah," he said. "Yeah, I'm okay."

"Finn," Rachel said carefully.

Finn knew that tone of voice. "Rach, I promised you a long time ago that I wasn't going to hide anything from you. I'm telling you the truth when I say that I'm okay. Do you want to know why?"

Rachel nodded her head, and Finn turned his lips into her palm and pressed a kiss to it. Rachel's lips lifted into a small smile and she closed her eyes at the familiar, wonderful sensations coursing through her. Finn never failed to set off those kinds of reactions with just a simple touch.

"Because I'm here. With you. There was a time when I thought that that might not happen. But we found each other again, Rachel. And because of that, I will always be okay. I will always be happy."

Rachel pressed her forehead to Finn's. "I love you." Sometimes she worried that she didn't tell him enough, and she thought about all the times when she didn't get to say it. So she made sure to say it every day.

Finn pulled Rachel into his lap. He slid his hands into her hair and tilted her head back, peppering her neck with kisses. He smiled when he heard her gasp. "I love you, too."

* * *

**December 2019**

Rachel bounced excitedly around the kitchen as she waited for her husband to get home. She looked at the pregnancy test in her hands and was unable to keep the beaming grin from forming on her face. She looked at her phone and realized that it was getting very close to the time that Finn would be arriving back home.

Right on cue, the front door opened and she heard Finn greet Brady as he barked excitedly. Rachel's impatience grew further and further as she waited for Finn to come back into the kitchen.

"Rach? Babe?" Finn called out.

"In here!" Rachel responded. She tucked the pregnancy test into the pocket of her jeans just as Finn came into the room. She greeted him with a bright smile as he crossed the kitchen and wrapped his arms around her. Finn bent to press a kiss to her lips.

"How was your day?" Rachel asked when he pulled back.

"It was good," Finn said. "The kids were pretty excited since it's winter break. And so was I." He kissed Rachel again. "I get a whole two weeks with you."

"Don't forget the rest of our family," Rachel said. "You brother, and Blaine, and your mom and Burt, and my dads, and Puck and Quinn are all coming up."

Finn groaned. "Don't remind me. I just want to enjoy my time off. I already have a plan for tomorrow."

"Oh really? And what's that?"

Finn nuzzled his nose against Rachel's neck before gently nipping at her pulse point. "We're going to spend all day in bed tomorrow."

Rachel bit her lip in an attempt to hide her smile. "Do we have something to celebrate?"

Finn had picked up on her especially happy mood when he had first walked in, and he didn't miss the hint she was dropping now. "You tell me. _Do_ we have something to celebrate?" he repeated.

Rachel reached into her pocket and tucked the pregnancy test into his hand. Giving her a curious look, Finn turned it over until he saw the little plus sign on the front. He stared at it for a long moment before he looked up at Rachel with wide eyes.

"Baby," he finally said. "Rachel… Are you pregnant?"

"_We're_ pregnant," Rachel said.

Finn grinned at her and wrapped his arms around her waist and lifted her up onto the counter. He kissed her deeply, cupping her face in his hands. "Change of plans, babe," he mumbled against her lips. "We're celebrating right here, right now. I love you so much, Rachel."

Rachel wrapped her legs around his waist and pulled him closer. "I love you, too."

* * *

"Finn!" Rachel couldn't keep the hysteria out of her voice as tears started streaming down her face. "FINN!"

"What? Shit, what?" Finn tripped and came stumbling into the bedroom, where Rachel was standing completely naked in front of the mirror. Intense fear and worry coursed through him as he caught himself against the dresser to avoid running into the wall. "Is it the baby? Are you okay?"

"Finn…" Rachel bit back a sob and turned towards him, her hands resting on her protruding stomach. "Finn, I… I…"

"Rachel, what is it?" Finn cupped her cheeks in his hands, tilting her face up so he could look into her eyes. "Tell me what's wrong."

Rachel looked up at him with tears still streaming down her face. "I can't see my feet!" she wailed.

Finn blinked at her. It took a moment for her words to completely register. His heart rate slowed and his fear ebbed away. Finally, he managed a confused, "…What?"

"I can't see my feet!" Rachel repeated. "I'm fat, Finn! _Fat!_"

Finn smoothed his thumbs under her eyes, brushing away her tears. "Oh, baby." Pulling her close, he placed a gentle kiss on her lips. "Rachel, you're not fat. You're seven months pregnant with our child."

"That's easy for you to say," Rachel grumbled. "You're not the one who's pregnant." She sat on the edge of the bed and wrapped her arms around herself. "I'm fat, okay? Fat and huge, because I'm pregnant with your mutant baby."

Finn chuckled and sat down next to her, wrapping his arms around her. "I'm sorry for my mutant genes," he said. "But do you know what I see when I look at you?"

Rachel sniffled and snuggled closer to him. "What?"

"I see a beautiful, glowing woman who is carrying the most precious thing in the world. I see the woman I love carrying our first child. And that is the most beautiful thing in the world, Rachel."

Rachel ran her hands over her stomach again. "Quinn is going to be so angry that they have to let out my bridesmaid dress again."

"She won't be mad," Finn assured her. He made a mental note to call Quinn and Puck later. The last thing either Quinn or Puck needed was for Rachel to have an emotional breakdown at their wedding. "She knows. And the wedding is this weekend. You're going to fit in that dress, and you're going to be so beautiful. I wouldn't be surprised if you outshone Quinn at her own wedding."

Rachel suddenly smiled and placed her palm against his chest, pushing him back against the bed. "You're the best husband ever," she whispered seductively.

Sometimes (most of the time), Finn didn't understand Rachel's mood swings. He did his best to go with the flow. He massaged her feet (and her breasts. Hey, he would do whatever he could to help), and he woke up at all hours of the night to satisfy her ridiculous cravings. But it was all worth it, because every time he felt their baby kick, he felt a happiness he couldn't describe.

"I do what I can," Finn mumbled as he slid his hands up her sides and cupped her breasts. Rachel arched her back and moaned, pressing further into his hands. "Would you like me to show you just how beautiful I think you are?"

"Please," Rachel panted, rocking her hips against Finn's.

Finn grinned and leaned up to kiss her. "My pleasure."

* * *

Finn lifted his head and checked to make sure that Rachel was sleeping before he pulled the covers back and slid down the bed. He smoothed his hand over Rachel's round stomach and smiled when he felt the baby kicking against his hand.

"Hey, baby," he murmured. He pressed his lips to the little imprint of a foot that appeared in response to his words. Kurt had spent the past eight months teasing Rachel, trying to prod her into finding out the gender of the baby. Rachel had taken that bet and refused to find out if the baby was a boy or a girl just to prove Kurt wrong. Finn, for his part, just stayed out of it. He would have been happy with either a little boy or a little girl. It didn't matter, as long as their baby was healthy and happy.

"It's Daddy," Finn continued at a whisper. "Mommy is sleeping right now. You sure do keep her up with all that kicking." He rubbed his hand over the little fist he felt pushing against him. "Give me a second and let me pick out a song."

Finn thought for a moment before he pressed his lips to Rachel's stomach and began to softly sing a familiar song. "_Somewhere over the rainbow way up high, there's a land that I heard of once in a lullaby._"

Finn didn't realize that Rachel had woken up. She lay with her head resting on the pillow above him, a smile on her lips as she listened to him sing to their baby. He traced his fingers gently over her stomach as he continued with the song.

"_Someday I'll wish upon a star, and wake up where the clouds are far behind me. Where troubles melt like lemon drops, away above the chimney tops. That's where you'll find me._"

Rachel let her eyes drift close again as Finn finished his song. He kissed her stomach again. "I love you baby," he murmured. Then he pushed himself up and pressed his lips to Rachel's. "And I love you too."

Rachel smiled. "How did you know that I was awake?"

"I can just tell," Finn said with a grin. He kissed her again. "You should probably get some sleep."

"Now that you've sang the baby to sleep, I might be able to do that," Rachel said. "He's quite the little mover."

"Oh, so you think it's going to be a boy?" Finn said with a smirk.

"No! I was just using 'he' as a generic term." Rachel pushed playfully against his chest and then curled into his side. "Do you want to sing me to sleep, too?"

"Sure," Finn said. He kissed her forehead and pulled her closer. "Any requests?"

"Our song," Rachel told him. She closed her eyes as Finn's sweet voice sang the opening lines of "Faithfully."

* * *

**July 2020**

"Finn?"

Finn groaned and pulled the blankets up over his head. He made several unintelligible noises and pulled Rachel closer to him. She rolled her eyes and poked his chest repeatedly.

"Finn, wake up," she said in a slightly louder voice.

Finn slowly opened his eyes and smiled when he saw Rachel. "Hey, baby," he said around a yawn. "What's up?"

"I'm having your baby right now."

Finn yawned again and stretched. He looked down at Rachel, his eyes still fuzzy with sleep. She waited a few moments for her words to register with her husband. When they did, his eyes went almost comically wide and he shot straight up in bed.

"_What?_" He scrambled out of the bed and tried to pull his shirt on as he attempted to tug his pants on at the same time. "Okay. Okay. It's early, but we can do this. We can do this. Everything is going to be okay. I'm going to find the bag, and we're going to go." In his haste to get to their pre-packed bag, Finn tripped over his shoes. "Bag. Bag then hospital."

Rachel watched from the center of their bed with an amused look on her face. "Sometimes, I wonder how you managed to make a career for yourself in the army."

Finn ignored that comment and rushed back towards the bed. He took Rachel's hands in his and squeezed. "How are you? Are you in pain? How many contractions have you had? How far apart are they?"

"Finn, relax," Rachel said soothingly. "The contractions have just started."

"Okay. Okay." Finn helped Rachel out of bed and then slid a sweater over her shoulders. She tugged on his hand and pressed a kiss to his lips. He pulled back and smiled, putting his hands over her stomach.

"We're going to have our baby soon," he said.

Rachel nodded her head and pressed her hand to her back. She winced and gritted her teeth as another contraction hit, and Finn offered her his hand. She grasped it tightly and breathed in and out as evenly as she possibly could. Finn hid his wince. Damn, her grip was strong.

"Do you think we could get to the hospital now?" Rachel breathed out. "I think that would be really nice."

"Of course. Come on, let's go."

* * *

"Okay." Santana slapped a twenty dollar bill down on table in the hospital waiting room. "Let's start placing bets. We're going to bet on the gender of the baby, what time the baby is born, and whether or not the baby will have Gigantor's humungous genes."

Puck stood up and added forty to the pile. "I'm betting on a girl, born in ten hours, and she'll have Finn's giant genes."

"You're cruel," Artie told him. "I'm putting thirty in for a girl born in nine hours, and she'll be tiny like Rachel."

"No way. Any child of Rachel's will be too stubborn," Kurt said as he added a twenty to the pile. "I'm betting on a girl that will take twenty hours to get here. She might have decided to come early, but she's going to make us wait."

Brittany put a five on top of the pile. "I'm betting on a boy," she declared. "And he'll be here in seven hours. And he'll look just like Finn."

"No way. I'm thinking that it's going to be a little girl," Mike said. "Mercedes and Sam had a boy, too. It has to even out somehow." Mercedes and Sam were at home with their six-month old son, Thomas. They were also watching Mike and Tina's son Ethan.

They heard a yell coming from behind the double doors, and they knew it was Rachel. Everyone exchanged amused looks. They had only been there for two hours, so they still had a bit of time to go.

* * *

"You did it, baby! You did it." Finn leaned over and pressed a kiss to Rachel's sweaty forehead as she fell back against the bed. Tears gathered in both of their eyes as their squirming, crying newborn was placed on Rachel's stomach.

"Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Hudson," the nurse said. "You have a healthy baby boy!"

Rachel reached up and pulled Finn down for a kiss. "A boy!" she exclaimed. "A little baby boy."

The baby was taken away to be cleaned and administered the usual tests. It wasn't long before the baby was brought back to Rachel and Finn, this time wrapped up in a white blanket with a little blue hat on his head. The nurse handed the baby to Rachel and then left the room.

Rachel scooted over on the bed until there was enough room for Finn. He climbed on and wrapped his arms around her as they both looked down at the little face of their newborn son.

"What should we name him?" Finn asked as he adjusted the hat on his head. They had talked about several names over the past nine months, but nothing had really seemed to stick.

Rachel bit her lip and looked at the baby before she looked up at Finn. "Christopher," she finally suggested.

Finn's chest tightened a little. He had made peace with his father a long time ago. Back when he had first started thinking about having his own family—before he ever knew the truth about what happened to his father—he had always imagined naming his first son Christopher. And even after everything that had happened, it still felt… right. That was why no other name had ever felt good enough.

"Do you really want to?" he asked.

Rachel nodded her head. It felt right to her, too. "Do you?"

"I do," Finn said. He traced his fingers gently across the baby's cheek. "Christopher William." It made perfect sense, to name their baby after his father and his father-figure.

Rachel beamed and lifted the baby up so she could press a kiss to his forehead. "Christopher William Hudson. Perfect."

"I love you," Finn told Rachel. He adjusted the baby's hat with careful fingers. "Both of you."

Rachel kissed him again. "And we love you."

* * *

Finn stared down in awe at his newborn son. After all these months, it still amazed him that Chris was here now. He was a real, little person, made of the best parts of himself and Rachel.

Rachel was lying in bed, exhausted after making sure that Chris was put to sleep. For all her effort, however, the baby was now just laying quietly in his bassinette, looking up at Finn with brown eyes identical to his mother's. Finn smiled and reached a hand down to trace his little cheek with one finger.

"Hi, Chris," Finn whispered. Chris's little head turned towards his finger, and Finn's smile widened. "I'm your daddy. I'm glad that I finally get to meet you."

Chris cooed softly and reached up with his little hand, his tiny fingers wrapping around Finn's index finger. Tears came to his eyes and he blinked them away as he looked down at his son. He was still so amazed, and he felt so lucky and blessed.

"I don't really know how to do this," Finn admitted. "For a long time, I was afraid that I was going to be a bad dad. I didn't have one growing up, you know? But I'm going to try. I'm going to try to be the best father I can be, Chris. I love you, little man."

Finn stroked Chris's cheek again before he heard a sniffle come from behind him. Turning around, Finn found his wife wrapped up in a robe and leaning against the door. Several tears were rolling down her cheeks, but she had bright, beaming grin on her face.

Finn wasn't embarrassed at being caught. "Hey, Rach," he said softly.

Rachel walked into the nursery and wrapped her arms around Finn's waist, burying her face in his chest. She loved him and their son so much. Sometimes, she thought that her heart might explode with all the love she felt for them. But it grew a little bit more every day, because she loved them more and more every day.

"You're an amazing father, Finn," Rachel said once she pulled away. "Amazing."

Finn smiled and smoothed his hand over her hair. "Thanks, Rach. I just… I worry, sometimes."

Rachel shook her head. "Don't. I know you, Finn. You have absolutely nothing to be concerned over."

Finn pressed a kiss to Rachel's forehead and tightened his arms around her. "You don't either, you know. You're the most amazing mother, Rach. I've seen how you are with Chris. He adores you already, you know."

Rachel beamed at him and stood on her tiptoes to kiss him. She had tried to hide her own concerns, but, as usual, Finn knew exactly what she was thinking. "Thank you, Finn."

"Of course, Rachel. Always."

* * *

**April 2021**

"Rachel! Rachel, get in here!"

"What?" Rachel ran into the living room. The last she had checked, Finn had been playing with Chris and Brady. She had been busy going over the script of _West Side Story_, the new show she had been asked to star in. She still had another six months until rehearsals started, but she wanted to look over the script anyway. "What's going on?"

"Look!" Finn was sitting a little ways away from Chris, holding out a ball to him. Chris was holding on to the edge of the coffee table, and he was cautiously reaching out with one foot.

Rachel gasped and immediately scrambled for her phone. She turned the camera on and got behind Finn, who shook the ball he was holding.

"Come on, Chris," he encouraged. "Do you want the ball?"

"Dada, ball!" Chris exclaimed. He let go of the table and took a shaky step. Rachel gasped again and grasped Finn's shoulder as he nodded his head.

"Yeah, buddy! Ball! Come on, come get the ball!"

Finn was only about four steps away from Chris. It took him a few tries, but he got to Finn. His little fingers closed around the ball and he beamed up at his father. Finn scooped him up into his arms and kissed his forehead before he swept Rachel into his embrace as well.

"Momma, ball!" Chris told her as he held it out.

Rachel laughed and patted his cheeks. "Yes, my little man. You've got the ball!"

"Play?" Chris asked. "Ball?"

"I have to send this video to everyone!" Rachel exclaimed as she began to tap frantically on her phone. "Our baby is absolutely brilliant. Ethan didn't start walking until he was eleven months old, and Tommy didn't do it until he was ten. Chris is only nine months old!"

Finn laughed as he set Chris down on the floor again. He gently tossed the ball to him and watched as Chris clumsily toddled over to get it. "I wouldn't expect anything less from our baby."

* * *

"Unca' Noah!"

Puck groaned and scooped Chris up as he toddled towards him. "Little dude, how many times do I have to tell you to call me Uncle Puck?"

Chris's little brow puckered. "Momma says," he said.

Puck rolled his eyes. "Well, Uncle Puck says to call me Uncle Puck. And that's what Daddy says too, right?"

Finn held his hands up as his son turned towards him with wide eyes. "Don't get me involved in this. There's no way I want to make Rachel angry. You want him to call you Uncle Puck, that's all up to you."

"Say it with me, little dude," Puck encouraged. "Uncle Puck."

The front door to Finn and Rachel's apartment opened, and Mike and Ethan came in, followed by Sam and Tommy. They had heard what Puck had been saying before, and they were laughing as they joined them in the living room.

"I don't think Chris will be calling you Uncle Puck until he's at least five," Mike told him.

Chris patted Puck's cheeks. "Unca' Noah."

Puck scowled and handed Chris to Finn. Finn chuckled and patted little Chris on the head. "Good job, buddy," he muttered to him. He kissed the top of Chris's head before he set him down and nudged him towards Ethan and Tommy.

"I hate all of your wives," Puck grumbled. "They all encourage your kids to call me Uncle Noah."

"Quit your whining. And you know that your wife encourages it, too," Sam said. He flopped down on the couch and held his hand out. "Hand over the remote, Hudson. Let's put this game on!"

Finn retrieved a few beers from the fridge and then put the football game on. They checked to make sure that the boys were playing safely before returning their attention back to the game. Before they knew it, an hour had passed when, suddenly, Mike sat up straight.

"It's quiet," he said.

Puck snorted. "No it isn't. Evans won't stop yelling at the TV."

"Excuse me, Puckerman," Sam scoffed. "I'm pretty sure it was you that let out that girly screech when the ball was intercepted."

"Yeah, well I—"

"Guys!" Mike stood up. "Where are the boys?"

All four men looked around and then quickly realized that the three toddlers were nowhere to be found. Letting out a loud curse, Finn shot up from the couch and ran down the hall. Sam, Puck, and Mike split up to the check the rest of the rooms as Finn went into the kitchen. When he walked in, all he could do was start laughing.

Eventually, everyone else realized where Finn was. They had the same reaction that Finn had; they all started to laugh.

Ethan, Tommy, and Chris sat in the middle of the kitchen floor with kitchen rags tied around their necks like capes. All around them was a mess of flour, sugar, and other ingredients used for baking. Handprints of flour littered the walls, cabinets, and fridge. Little footprints were tracked all over the floor, and the kids were covered in it.

"Hi, Daddy!" Ethan said brightly.

Chris waved his hands at his father. "Daddy, look!"

Finn tried to stifle his laughter. "I see, buddy! What did you do?"

"We beat the bad guys!" Ethan told them.

"Yeah!" Tommy exclaimed. He grabbed a handful of flour and threw it up in the air. The three toddlers dissolved into giggles, and their fathers just laughed with them.

"You do know that our wives are going to kill us, right?" Sam said. "When they walk into this kitchen… we're dead."

"Rachel will especially want to maim us," Mike pointed out. "This is her kitchen, after all."

Finn sobered immediately and bit back a curse. "Okay. Puck, Sam, go take the boys up to the bathroom and get them cleaned up. Mike, help me clean up this kitchen. The girls will be back any moment—"

Before Finn could finish speaking, the front door opened and they heard Rachel, Mercedes, Tina, and Quinn. They had about ten seconds until they came into the kitchen, and there was no way that they could hide what the kids had been doing.

"Finn?" Rachel called. "We're back!"

Finn picked Chris up and held him, despite the fact he was covered in flour. He knew that Rachel could hardly resist Chris's big brown eyes. He knew that Sam and Mike were doing the same thing behind him.

Rachel was wearing a bright smile when she walked into the kitchen. "There are my boys!" she said as she reached up to press a kiss to Finn's lips. "How was your—" She stopped abruptly when she realized that her son was covered in flour. Then she saw the state of her entire kitchen, and her eyes went wide.

Chris gave his mother an adorable, charming smile and Finn matched it as he held his hands out. "Surprise?"

* * *

**July 2022**

"Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday dear Chris! Happy birthday to you!"

Chris beamed as the cake was set it front of him. There were two candles in the middle of it and he stood up in his chair in order to blow them out. The audience around him clapped and he gave the half smile he had inherited from his father. Chris did love being the center of attention.

Rachel leaned against Finn as Carole moved forward to begin cutting the cake. She reached down and squeezed Finn's hand and he looked down at her, dropping a kiss to the top of her head.

"What's up, Rach?" he asked.

"I can't believe that he's two years old already," Rachel said. "It seems like only yesterday he was just a little baby."

Finn chuckled. Rachel was going into protective mother mode. "Babe, he's only two years old. He still has a little while to go."

Rachel tilted her head to look up at Finn. She watched him for a long moment before she said, "I want another one."

It took a moment for Rachel's words to register. He stared down at her with wide eyes before he wrapped his arms completely around her and pulled her against him. "Really?" he whispered. He and Rachel had always talked about having more than one child, but they hadn't talked about when.

Rachel nodded her head and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Really," she affirmed.

Finn beamed and lifted Rachel up, hugging her tightly before he kissed her deeply. "Well, I'd say that we could get to work on that tonight. Does that sound like a plan?"

Rachel kissed him again. "That sounds like a fantastic plan."

* * *

After Rachel and Finn had been sufficiently exhausted and sated, she laid wrapped up in his arms. Rachel traced little patterns over his chest with her fingers before she pressed a kiss right over his heart.

"Do you want a boy or a girl?" she asked.

Finn smoothed his hands up and down her naked back. "I'd be happy with either one," he told her. "But I think a little girl that looked just like you would be pretty amazing."

"Just like me?" Rachel repeated. "Really?"

"Really," Finn affirmed. He tugged her up so that he could kiss her gently, his fingers stroking through her hair. "I love you so much, Rach," he mumbled against her lips.

"I love you too, Finn," Rachel murmured sleepily.

* * *

**October 2022**

"Momma, play with me!"

Rachel laughed and caught the ball that Chris tossed to her. He ran across the room and held his hands out, looking at her expectantly. Rachel gently tossed the ball back to him and watched as he caught it.

"Good job!" While Chris was only a little over two years old, he was still pretty apt at playing all different sorts of sports. Rachel knew that, without a doubt, Chris was going to be very gifted in that aspect.

"Again, Momma!" He threw the ball and Rachel caught it again. Brady came skidding into the room then and looked eagerly at the ball that Rachel and Chris were tossing back and forth. "Brady!" Chris called to him once Rachel tossed the ball back. "Fetch!"

The door opened and Finn came in. He smiled when he saw his son and his dog playing while his wife watched with a warm smile on her face. He dropped his briefcase next to the door and hung his jacket up before he went over to Rachel and wrapped his arms around her.

"Hey, baby," he greeted. He kissed her and pulled back. "How was rehearsal?"

Rachel's fingers curled around his tie and she pulled him back down for another kiss. "It was fine," she said. "I'm going to start dinner."

Rachel knew that Finn would follow her into the kitchen. Sure enough, after Finn had greeted Chris with a hug and Brady with a pat on the head, he went into the kitchen and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her back against his chest.

"Normally, you tell me much more about your rehearsals," Finn said. "Are you sure everything is okay?"

Without turning to look at him, Rachel nodded her head. "Of course everything is okay. Nothing too exciting happened with it today, so I didn't think that there was a lot worth mentioning."

Finn knew Rachel. There was definitely something that she wasn't telling him. "If you're sure, babe."

Rachel ran her spatula through the stir fry she was cooking. "I did talk to the director today, though. And my understudy, as well."

Finn gave her an alarmed look and took the spatula from her, putting it down. Then he spun her around and put his hands on her shoulders. "Why? Is everything alright? They don't want to take your part away from you, do they?" She had been playing Maria in _West Side Story_ for a little over a year and a half now. She had already won another Tony award for her part in it, as well.

Rachel shook her head. "No, it's nothing like that." Her face split into a wide, beaming grin. "It's more like in about five months, I'm going to have to step down and let the understudy have her fun for a while."

Finn's brow furrowed. "Five months? Why in five months…" He trailed off and his eyes widened as he understood what Rachel was getting at. His hand slid over her still flat stomach. "Really?"

Rachel nodded her head and brought her hands up to cup Finn's face. "Congratulations, Daddy."

Finn grinned and grabbed one of her hands, pressing his lips to her palm. Then he let out a joyous laugh and picked Rachel up, spinning her around. Rachel giggled and held on to him, and they heard little feet run into the room.

"Momma! Daddy!" Chris exclaimed. He crossed his little arms over his chest and pouted at his parents. "Why you having fun without me?"

"Aw, little man." Finn picked Chris up and tucked the toddler between him and Rachel. She kissed his forehead and grabbed Finn's free hand. "Momma and Daddy are just very happy."

"I'm happy, too!" Chris declared. "I love you, Momma and Daddy."

Rachel beamed and Finn grinned again.

* * *

Chris sat eagerly next to his mother as the doctor moved the monitor over her rounded stomach. He wrinkled his nose and pointed to her stomach.

"Momma, what's all that icky stuff on your tummy?"

"It helps the doctor see the baby, Chris," Rachel explained. She pointed to the monitor next to the bed and said, "We can see the baby on there."

"The baby is on there?" Chris asked with wide eyes. "Whoa."

"It's pretty amazing, isn't it buddy?" Finn said.

Chris nodded his head eagerly. "I'm gonna be a big brother?"

Rachel nodded her head and reached out to smooth a hand over her son's unruly hair. With the exception of his eyes, he really was a mini-Finn. "Yes, sweetie. You're going to be a big brother." The thought made her heart swell, because Chris was so eager to meet his little brother or sister.

"Am I gonna have a brother or a sister?" Chris asked.

"I don't know, little man," Finn told him. "We're going to keep it a surprise."

Chris tilted his little head as he looked at the screen. "If it's a baby sister, her name should be Ava," he suddenly declared.

Finn and Rachel looked at each other. Of course, they had been discussing names over the past seven months. Once again, nothing had really stuck. They had several possibilities lined up, and they knew that they wanted the baby's middle name to be Carole if it was a girl. But they had yet to come up with a definite first name.

"Why did you pick the name Ava, Chris?" Finn finally asked.

Chris smiled brightly at his mother and father before he looked at the screen. "Because it's a pretty name," he said. "And the baby is going to be pretty. Just like Momma."

Rachel looked like she was about to burst into tears. She pulled Chris close and kissed his forehead as Finn grinned and wrapped his arms around the two of them. Even though he was so young, their son already had a big, wonderful heart and wanted nothing more than to share his happiness with the rest of the world.

"That's the perfect name, Chris," Rachel whispered.

* * *

Rachel sighed and shifted on the bed as she tried to get comfortable. She was laying on her side, facing Finn, and she was completely envious of the way he was sleeping peacefully. She felt huge and uncomfortable, but she couldn't even be mad at Finn. Even in his sleep, his hands cradled her stomach—and their unborn child.

She closed her eyes and attempted to fall asleep once again. It wasn't exactly working. She supposed that it was just one of those nights. Eventually, she started drifting on the edge of consciousness. As she did, she slowly became aware of Finn moving next to her. He slid down on the bed until his head was situated right next to her stomach.

"Hi, baby," Finn muttered quietly. "It's daddy. Again. I'm sorry if I woke you up." Finn smiled when he felt a gentle nudge against his hand. "I can't wait to finally meet you. I kind of knew that Chris was going to be a boy, but I have a feeling that you're going to be a little girl."

Rachel smiled and didn't open her eyes as she continued speaking. "You're going to have the best mommy in the world. She's amazing and beautiful and wonderful. And you'll have the greatest big brother, too. Chris loves you already. And, you know. I'd like to think that I'm a pretty good dad."

Rachel felt herself sink further into sleep as Finn began to sing "Somewhere over the Rainbow." She let his quiet, wonderful voice wash over her. She felt Finn press his lips to her rounded stomach before one of his hands closed over Rachel's and squeezed gently. Rachel smiled as she finally fell asleep.

* * *

**June 2023**

Finn still had tears in his eyes as he looked at his beautiful wife and their perfect newborn daughter. He was holding their perfect son, as well. Everyone was out in the waiting room, all of them hoping to see the new baby soon, but Finn and Rachel just wanted this quiet moment with their family.

"She's perfect, Rach," Finn whispered. Chris was sleeping against his shoulder. Rachel had gone into labor yesterday and threw a fit whenever someone tried to take him home, so they ended up just keeping him at the hospital.

"She has your eyes, Finn," Rachel told him.

"Yeah, but look at how tiny she is," Finn pointed out. "Chris wasn't that small when he was born."

Rachel laughed. "No, Chris was huge. He's probably going to be as tall as you."

Moving carefully so as not to wake Chris, Finn leaned over so he could press a kiss to his new daughter's tiny forehead. Then he lifted his head and kissed Rachel, his lips lingering against hers.

"I love you," she said when he pulled away.

Finn grinned at her. "I love you too, Rach." He took another moment to appreciate how peaceful the room was before he said, "I guess we should bring the cavalry in now."

Rachel laughed again. She was tired, but she did want to see her family. "Probably. I'm surprised I haven't heard Kurt causing problems out there."

"It's probably because he has his own baby to take care of," Finn said. He kissed Rachel again. "I'll be right back."

Still carrying Chris, Finn made his way out into the waiting room. His mother and Burt were there, along with Kurt and Blaine. They had their year old daughter, Chloe, with them (Kurt refused to leave her with anyone else). Sam and Mercedes were there as well. Their son, Tommy, was with Tina and Mike. They were watching Tommy along with their two sons, Ethan and Alex. Quinn and Puck would be arriving later in the day with their seven-month old son, Caleb.

"So?" Burt said as soon as he saw Finn. "What do we have?"

Finn grinned. "It's a girl!" he exclaimed. He chuckled when Chris shifted against his shoulder and grumbled in his sleep. Their family and friends all cheered and hugged one another tightly. Kurt pushed Carole and Burt forward.

"You two go first," he said to his parents. "We'll wait out here."

Carole and Burt followed Finn into Rachel's room. Finn laid Chris down on the little couch and covered him with the blanket they brought with them before he went back over to the bed and sat on the edge of it, wrapping his arm around Rachel and pulling her close.

"Oh," Carole breathed. "Look at that little face! She's so precious. Rachel, I don't think that she's going to be much bigger than you."

"She sure is a tiny one," Burt agreed.

Rachel laughed. Compared to normal-sized babies, their new daughter was definitely tiny. And she was almost humorously tiny compared to Chris when he was born. "But she has Finn's eyes," Rachel told them.

"So, tell us!" Carole finally said. "What's her name?"

Finn and Rachel smiled at each other. Finn pressed his lips to Rachel's forehead and she lifted the baby up so that Carole and Burt could get a better look at her. Rachel nodded her head, signaling for Finn to tell them the newborn's name.

"Her name is Ava," Finn said. "Ava Carole."

Tears immediately came to Carole's eyes. She pressed a hand to her mouth and Burt hugged her tightly. Finn got off the bed and hugged his mother tightly. She embraced him in return and kissed his cheek.

"Finn, Rachel," Carole finally said. "I'm speechless."

Rachel smiled. "We couldn't think of anyone better to name her after. Now would you like to hold your new granddaughter?"

Carole took the baby into her arms just as Chris woke up. He climbed up onto his mother's bed and curled against her. Finn smoothed a hand over his unruly hair and pulled his family close.

* * *

Rachel yawned as she climbed out of bed. She had heard Ava fussing about a little over the baby monitor, and she wanted to check on her.

Rachel couldn't keep the smile off her lips as she looked at her sleeping husband. Now that she was no longer wrapped his arms, Finn had rolled onto his stomach and ended up spread eagle on the bed. She quickly pressed a kiss to his cheek before she pulled her pajamas back on and wrapped a robe around herself.

Rachel made her way across the hall but stopped short when she realized that the room to the nursery was open. It didn't take long for her to find her three year old son standing on a chair that he had pulled up next to the crib. He was leaning over it, peering down at his new baby sister.

Rachel leaned against the door frame and watched as Chris began to talk to Ava. He was talking quietly, his hand propping up his head against the crib. Rachel felt her heart swell as she watched her sweet son with his little sister.

"Hi, Ava," Chris said softly. "It's me, your big brother, Chris. How are you?" Ava cooed quietly back at him, and Chris smiled. "I'm going to try to be the best big brother ever, okay? I've been around Ethan and Alex, so I know that they fight sometimes. And we're probably going to fight, too. But that's okay. Because I'm always going to protect you. And I'm always going to stand up for you. That's what big brothers do for their little sisters. I promise. I love you, Ava."

Rachel sniffled and wiped away the tear that rolled down her cheek. Chris really was a little copy of Finn. He had a heart that was so big, and he wanted to protect and help everyone. A few more tears rolled down her cheeks as she watched Chris set one of his own teddy bears in the corner of Ava's crib.

A pair of strong arms wrapped around Rachel's waist and pulled her back against a broad chest. Rachel smiled and sniffled again as she snuggled into Finn.

"Our son is quite the charmer, isn't he?" Finn said with a quiet chuckle.

"He's going to be a heart breaker," Rachel agreed. "But I'm pretty sure that that was the sweetest thing I've ever seen."

Finn kissed her cheek. "I think he gets it from you."

"Are you kidding me?" Rachel turned in Finn's arms and pulled him down, pressing her lips to his. "He gets it from you."

* * *

**May 2024**

"Daddy, how old are you?" Chris asked.

Before Finn could answer, Puck came over and said, "Old. Your daddy is old, little dude."

Finn rolled his eyes and glared at Puck. "You turned thirty before I did, you… jerk." He had to refrain from cursing in front of both of their young sons. Quinn and Rachel would kill them if their sons started running around, spouting off curse words.

"I'm just looking forward to punching you thirty times," Puck said. "I had bruises for two weeks after you punched me, douchebag." Apparently, Puck had no qualms with cursing in front of the kids.

Finn chuckled and turned towards Rachel, who was carrying Ava in her arms. The little girl's eyes brightened immediately when she saw her father, and she held her arms out.

"Dada!" little Ava exclaimed. She was almost a year old, and she was quite the little troublemaker. But she could talk herself out of trouble just as easily, even with her limited vocabulary. All she had to do was turn on the smile and make her eyes go wide. Both Chris and Ava were very good at it.

"There's my little Ava-Bear!" Finn scooped his daughter into his arms and blew a raspberry on her little tummy. She giggled and squealed.

"Dada, stop!" Finn relented and hugged her tightly, and Ava patted his cheeks with her little hands. "I love you, Dada."

"Love you too, Ava-Bear. Hey, baby," Finn added as he turned to his wife. He wrapped his free arm around Rachel's waist and pulled her close, pressing a kiss to her lips. She hummed against his mouth and tightened her fists in his shirt.

"Happy birthday, Finn," Rachel whispered when he pulled away.

"Mmm." Finn pulled her close and kissed her again. "So my parents have the kids for the night?"

Rachel smirked and patted his chest. "That's part one of your birthday present."

"Part one?" Finn's eyes brightened at the prospect, but Ava's exclamations distracted him.

"Dada! Me!" she demanded.

Finn laughed and flipped her upside down, causing her to start giggling and squealing again. She held her hands above her head and waved at her mother, who watched with amusement shining in her eyes. "Look, Momma! Upside down!"

"I see that," Rachel said with a laugh. She gave Finn a mildly stern look. "Be careful."

"Oh, Rach. I always am." Just to mess with her, Finn pretended to drop Ava. She was completely safe, and he kept a firm grip on her waist, but Rachel gasped anyway.

"Finn!" she exclaimed.

"Again, Dada!" Ava said as she clapped her hands. "Again!"

Finn flipped Ava right side up and tickled her lightly, smiling as she giggled. He hugged her tightly and kissed her cheek. He went back to his chair and set his daughter in his lap as Rachel stood behind the chair and put her hands on his shoulders.

"Dada, birthday?" Ava asked.

"Yup, baby girl. It's my birthday," he said.

Ava smiled brightly. "Old?"

Finn groaned. "Okay, I know that thirty isn't old, but my kids are making me feel that it is."

Rachel rubbed his shoulders before she patted his cheek. "It's okay, old man. I still love you," she said cheekily.

Finn scowled at her. "You're turning thirty this December. You're one to talk."

Rachel just kissed his cheek and hugged him from behind as Chris came up and climbed onto Finn's lap as well. Carole brought the cake out, lit with two candles shaped in a three and a zero. Everyone sang to him, but he was mainly focused on his wife's beautiful voice in his ear and his children's melodious voices.

The cake was cut and shared with their friends and family. Everyone hung around the party for another two hours before the guests began departing. Finn kept himself occupied by playing with his children and thinking about the second part of Rachel's gift that night.

* * *

"Okay," Finn said as he entered the bedroom and shut the door behind him. "The kids are gone. So when do I get part two…" He trailed off when he saw what his wife was wearing. Or, more accurately, not wearing.

"Rach," he choked out as his pants immediately tightened.

Rachel gave him a sultry smile. "Hello, Finn."

Rachel was waiting for him on their bed, wearing nothing but some strappy, lacy thing. Her face was clean of any makeup, but she was still glowing. Her hair hung down around her shoulders, and Finn wanted to reach forward and run his fingers through it.

"Happy birthday, baby," she said, beckoning him towards her.

Finn gaped at her for a long moment before he immediately began to shed his clothes. Once he was completely free of them, he climbed onto the bed and pulled Rachel into his arms, immediately covering her mouth with his. He ran his hands up and down her body, skimming them over the lace. She moaned loudly and arched into his hands.

Finn kissed down her neck, nipping and sucking at the soft skin as he slid his fingers under the straps of the top. With one swift movement, he tore it from her body as she gasped. His hand smoothed her stomach and then rubbed over her fabric-covered core. He could feel how wet she was already, and he groaned.

With another tug, Finn ripped away her panties. He groaned into her neck as she lifted her hips, grinding against his hard length. He smoothed his hands back up her stomach and cupped her breasts, his thumbs flicking over her pert nipples. Rachel moaned again, pressing into his hands.

"_Finn,_" she gasped. Even after all these years, it was still the best thing. And she knew that it was just as good for him as it was for her. It never got old. And it never would.

Finn kissed Rachel again, before he kissed back down her neck. He peppered kisses across her chest before he took a nipple into his mouth, his tongue swirling around it. His hand gently fondled her other breast, and Rachel ran her toes up down Finn's leg.

"Please, Finn," Rachel moaned as her fingers locked in his hair. Since this was his birthday present, Rachel was going to let him do pretty much whatever he wanted. But that didn't mean she would tease him a little bit.

Rachel suddenly pushed on his chest and flipped them over, straddling him. She leaned over, pressing her naked chest against his as she kissed him. Finn smoothed his hands up her sides and cupped her breasts again. Even after two children Rachel was still the hottest, sexiest, and most beautiful woman Finn had ever seen.

"Are you playing around with me, baby?" Finn asked with a chuckle.

"Maybe," Rachel answered as she allowed her hair to curtain around his face. She ran her hands down his chest and marveled over the excellent shape he was still in. He worked out every morning and ate healthier. He just got more and more attractive as he aged. He stroked her hair back before he brought his large hands down to her behind.

Finn lifted Rachel up and positioned her over him. Then he guided her down onto him, and both of them groaned at how amazing it felt. Rachel rolled her hips slowly on top of his, pressing her hands against his chest to steady herself. Finn's hands gripped her hips tightly, trying to encourage her to go faster. Rachel smirked, but it was quickly wiped from her face as Finn flipped them over once again.

"God, Rachel," Finn groaned into her neck as he pulled out and thrust back into her again. He linked his fingers with hers and held them above her head, pressing them into the mattress. Rachel cried out and locked her legs around his waist, matching him trust for thrust. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down to her, kissing him as she shattered around him. Finn followed her over the edge, tearing his lips from hers to let out a hoarse groan.

"I love you, Finn," Rachel breathed as she curled into his side.

Finn stroked his fingers through her hair again. "I love you too, Rach. Thanks for making this the best birthday."

* * *

**December 2024**

Rachel and Finn shared a quick kiss before they entered the guest bedroom their children were sleeping in. They were currently back in Ohio, spending the holidays with the Hummels and Rachel's fathers. It was early Christmas morning, and both Finn and Rachel were very surprised at the fact that their rambunctious four year old son hadn't woken them up yet.

Finn and Rachel crept up to the bed. Before they could speak, however, Chris threw the blankets back from the bed and both he and Ava shrieked in excitement. They jumped up, bouncing up and down on the bed.

"Merry Christmas!" Chris exclaimed. He threw himself at his mother and she laughed as she caught him. Ava bounced over to their father and climbed up into his arms. She blinked up at Finn with amber eyes identical to his and smiled brightly.

"Presents, Daddy?" she asked sweetly.

Finn chuckled and hugged her. "In a minute, Ava-roo," he said. Looking at Rachel, he added, "She's definitely your daughter."

Rachel nudged him playfully. Before she could respond, however, Chris pulled on her sleeve until she looked at him. "Momma, is it time for breakfast yet?"

Rachel laughed outright at that. "If Ava takes after me, than Chris definitely takes after you. Yes, Chris. It's time for breakfast."

"And presents!" Ava exclaimed.

Finn set Ava down. "Ava-bear, why don't you go wake Uncle Kurt and Uncle Blaine up? Make sure that Chloe is up, too."

Ava nodded her head eagerly. "Okay!" She ran out of the room as Rachel put Chris down. He went towards the stairs to see what his grandparents were cooking in the kitchen. Rachel laughed and again and leaned into Finn's side as he wrapped an arm around her waist.

"You know that Kurt is going to kill you, right?" Rachel said.

"Eh." Finn shrugged his shoulders and didn't look particularly concerned as they went towards the stairs. "Payback for years of having him wake me up to drag me out on early morning shopping trips."

* * *

It was another fifteen minutes before Kurt and Blaine came down the stairs and joined everyone else in the kitchen. Kurt was carrying Chloe, and Blaine was holding Ava. When she saw her father, Ava exclaimed, "Daddy, I did it!"

"You're horrible," Kurt grumbled. "Absolutely horrible."

"Oh, suck it up," Finn said. "It's about time the rest of you joined us for breakfast."

"I was awake, Daddy," Chloe added.

Kurt chuckled and kissed her cheek before he patted it playfully. "You're not helping matters right now, Chloe."

Blaine passed Ava to Rachel, who perched her daughter on her hip. "Momma, can I help?" Ava asked.

"Of course you can!" Rachel was busy making chocolate chip pancakes. She had already made the batter, but had yet to add the chocolate chips. So she handed a measuring cup filled with the sweet treat to Ava. "Here, sweetie. Poor the chocolate into this bowl."

Ava did as she was told. Rachel put a chocolate chip into her daughter's hand and allowed her to eat it. Then she handed the little girl a wooden spoon. "Go ahead and mix it. Then we're going to let Daddy cook it, okay?"

Ava nodded her head eagerly and turned to see Leroy taking a baking sheet full of cinnamon rolls out of the oven. "Pop-Pop, I cooked!"

"Good job, little star!" Leroy said

Just as Finn was about to pour the batter onto the pan, he caught Chris trying to sneak into the living room, where all of the presents were. "Christopher! Stay out of the living room!"

Chris pouted as he slunk his way back into the kitchen. "Awww, Dad! I just wanted to take a peek!"

Finn chuckled and patted his head as he came to stand next to his father. "You know the rules, little man. No looking until everyone finishes breakfast and all the presents are sorted."

Chris groaned and scowled in a way that made him look exactly like Finn. Rachel had to stifle a laugh and Finn looked over his shoulder, tossing her a wink and giving her that wonderful half smile. Rachel bumped his hip with her own and couldn't resist patting his butt as she went to take a seat at the table. She let out a gasp of surprise when Finn squeezed her behind as she passed.

* * *

Ava let out a happy squeal as she unwrapped yet another toy. Her grandparents certainly loved spoiling her and had no problems doing it. As she did with each present she unwrapped, she toddled over to Hiram and climbed up onto the couch in order to press a kiss to his cheek.

"Thank you, Poppy," she said sweetly.

"Of course, pumpkin," Hiram said. He handed her another wrapped present. "Here, open this one!"

On the other side of the living room, Finn handed Chris a square box. "Here you go, buddy," he said.

Chris eagerly opened the present and tore the lid of the box. He found a custom made football jersey inside. Lifting it up, he unfolded it to see the number five emblazoned on the front and back. The word 'Hudson' was also printed on the back.

"Dad, this is so cool!" Chris said.

Finn smiled. "I was figuring I can really show you how to start playing football." He pulled out a brand new football and tossed it to Chris. "What do you say?"

"I'm going to go put on the jersey right now! Thanks, Dad!" Chris threw his arms around his father and hugged him tightly before he ran off to change.

Rachel tucked herself into Finn's side and rested her head on his chest. "You're an amazing father, Finn," she murmured. "Chris looks up to you."

Finn felt his heart swell at Rachel's words, and he loved her just a little bit more. "You're an amazing mother, too, Rach," he said. He pulled out a velvet box and handed it to Rachel. "Merry Christmas, baby."

Rachel looked up at Finn with curious eyes before she opened the box. Inside was a silver charm bracelet. Hanging from it were three diamonds, all in the shapes of stars. Rachel knew that they stood for Finn, Chris, and Ava respectively. Rachel kissed him gently.

"You're still the star watching over me, Finn," she whispered.

Finn pulled her close and kissed her again. "Always, Rachel. Always."

* * *

**February 2025**

Finn and Rachel held hands as they walked down a familiar path. Ava and Chris ran around in front of them, playing tag with each other. The parents watched with smiles on their faces.

"Are you sure you want us to do this?" Finn asked. "We don't have to. I understand."

Rachel squeezed his hand and smiled at him. "I saw the look on your face when Chris asked about your dad, Finn. It's okay. It's important for them to know about this."

Finn returned her smile before he lifted their entwined hands and pressed a kiss to her fingers. Finn got Chris and Ava's attention, and they ran back to join their parents.

"What are we doing, Daddy?" Ava asked.

"We're here to meet someone," Finn said.

Chris's brow furrowed. He knew where they were. Both he and Ava had some sort of understanding of it. "Dad, I don't understand."

Rachel smoothed her free hand over Chris's hair. "You will in a minute, buddy."

They weaved their way in and out of the headstones before they stopped in front of a worn, weathered one. It was one that Finn had visited at least once a year since he had returned from Afghanistan. Finn crouched down in front of the headstone.

"Chris, Ava, I want you to meet my father," Finn said. "Your grandfather."

Ava turned towards her father with wide eyes. She grabbed his hand with her little one, wrapping her tiny fingers around two of his. "Daddy," she whispered.

Finn hugged her and put a hand on Chris's shoulder. "My dad passed away when I was really little. I was younger than you, Ava."

Both of their kids were extremely attuned to emotions, just as Finn was. Chris took his dad's other hand. "I'm sorry, Daddy," he said.

"Kids, it's okay," Finn said. "I don't want you two to worry, okay?"

Chris nodded his head, and Ava stepped forward. She was so young, but she and Chris had the innocence that only a child possessed.

Ava put her little hand on the headstone as her big brother came to stand next to her. "Hi, Grandpa," Ava said.

"My name is Chris," Chris added. "Just like yours. And this is my little sister Ava."

Rachel came up behind Finn and wrapped her arms around him, hugging him from behind. Finn grabbed one of her hands and kissed her palm. Chris and Ava joined their parents, hugging them tightly as well. Finn and Rachel were amazed by the resilience of their children, but else was to be expected?

* * *

**September 2025**

Rachel looked as if she was about to run after Chris as he took off down the hallway. Finn put his hand out, gently catching it in his.

"Don't even think about it, Rach," Finn said.

Rachel rolled her eyes. "I'm pregnant, Finn. And I'm not even that pregnant!"

Finn paused and smoothed his hand over Rachel's baby bump. It was just visible under the dress that she was wearing. "Chris is excited. Just let him go have his fun."

Rachel pouted. "Chris is my first baby, Finn. Now he's off to kindergarten." Given how emotional and hormonal she was now that she was pregnant once again, tears immediately gathered in her eyes. "He's growing up so quickly!"

Finn bit back a chuckle. "It'll be okay, baby. Chris is excited for school. And you still have Ava at home. Not to mention this little one on the way. And, you know. We can always practice for more."

Rachel laughed a little and stood on her tiptoes to kiss Finn. "Alright, alright." She took a deep, calming breath before she took Finn's hand and started to tow him down the hallway. "Let's go find Chris's class."

It wasn't long before they found Chris. He was wearing the football jersey that Finn and Rachel had gotten him for Christmas the year before. His backpack was almost as big as he was, but he looked so adorable with it. Rachel had already taken several pictures with Chris to commemorate his very first day of school.

Rachel crouched down and Finn put his hand between her shoulders in a show of support. "Alright, Chris. Are you ready?"

Chris nodded his head eagerly. "Yup, Momma. I'm ready!"

Rachel adjusted the straps of his backpack and tried to smooth his unruly hair. "Are you sure? Do you want us to stay with you for a little bit? We can, you know."

Chris shook his head. "I'll be okay, Momma. I promise."

Finn squeezed Rachel's shoulder and then helped her stand up. "So let's go meet your teacher, then."

Holding hands, Finn and Rachel followed Chris into the classroom. A kind looking elderly woman was greeting the kids and their parents as they came into the room. She smiled when she saw Chris, Finn, and Rachel.

"Hello," she greeted cheerfully. "I'm Mrs. Hutchins."

Chris gave her the charming Hudson half-smile. "Hi! My name is Christopher Hudson, and one day I'll be in the NFL."

Finn chuckled while Rachel grinned. Just like his mother, Chris knew exactly what he wanted and what he was going to do to get it. As if to emphasis his point, Chris pointed to the jersey he was wearing.

Mrs. Hutchins smiled and nodded her head. "It sounds like you have got quite the plan, Christopher." She checked the clipboard in front of her. "You're at the green table. Say goodbye to your parents and then you can go on over."

Chris turned to his parents. "Okay! I love you, Momma! I love you, Daddy!"

"We love you too, buddy," Finn said.

Chris hugged both of his parents quickly before he took off to sit at his assigned table. There were already kids there, and Chris began to easily talk to them. Rachel and Finn watched him for a moment before Finn took Rachel's hand and they left the classroom.

When they got to their car, Finn gently pressed Rachel against it. He leaned forward and kissed her softly, one hand coming up to cup her face while the other rested on her protruding bump.

"Are you ready to go home, baby?" Finn asked when they broke apart. When he saw the look on Rachel's face, he added, "Chris will be okay."

Rachel nodded her head. "I know." She smiled up at him and rested her hands over his. "Let's go home, Finn."

As they got into the car, Finn and Rachel thought about Chris, Ava, and the child that they were soon to have. They thought about how lucky they were and how wonderful life was. It was far from perfect, but it was everything that they had ever wanted or needed. Finn and Rachel's tether was just as strong as it had been before. And it always would be.

* * *

**Author's Note: There it is. The end. I know that many people have asked me for a sequel, and I have thought about doing a long one-shot to follow up on this. However, I have another Finchel multi-chapter story that I've been working on which should be up soon, so please be on the lookout for that! Once again, thank you for the amazing report you've all given to this story. I really appreciate it so much. So tell me what your favorite part was, or what you liked best. :) Thanks for reading, and I hope that you all enjoyed the final chapter!**


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